Asian Males and White Females

I dunno, it’s just something I do

 

There’s this sword movement done where a block is performed with the spine of the blade and the sword then rolls into a slash. It’s really cool looking and possibly one of the most beautiful sword movements that exists.

I noticed it years ago with another fencer and asked him what it was. He looked at me, puzzled. And said, I dunno, it’s just something I do. For him, it was nothing special, just part of his makeup.

I’ve alluded to this in the past, such as when people are extraordinarily proud to be Irish, or Chinese, or what have you. For most of us, myself included, being Chinese is simply something I am.

Having said this, since my wife and I got married, we do notice that there are few couples like us: Asian male and White female (AMWF). In fact when we’re out and about, we invariably remark to each other when we notice another couple like us.

I bring all of this up because I was in court yesterday kiling time and I came across this blog entry called Why Aren’t We Talking More About The Rarity of AMWF? – and it really made me think.

While it should be noted that the writer is a Caucasian writer living in China (very cool), it’s just as true here in the States, I think.

Regarding my own experiences, there are many friends I have now that I’ve only recently met. And the funny thing is that the version of me they know is not the version I actually think I am in my head.

In college, I dated a Korean girl for years. In law school, it was a Chinese med student. Then I dated a hapa. Then I just dated.

There’s a running joke with some of my friends from 2008 onward that I only dated Caucasians. Which my older friends would find funny because they thought I only dated Asians.

And yet neither is true. I dated whomever I liked.

This version of me is only the part they know. Had an argument with a dolt I met online via FB who immediately labeled me as a self-hating Chinese man, which only made me roll my eyes and move on with my life.

After all, I’m not another person’s opinion of what I am. I am, simply, what I am.

Getting back to the  questions posed: Why are there so few Asian male, Caucasian female combinations?

I’m not sure.

Out and about, I was frequently the first and only Asian person many non-Asians dated. There were two common things they said. Either:

Regarding point one, a good deal of that has to do with exposure IMHO. If they don’t know any Asian men well, there’s no one to whom to be attracted.

As for point two, many of my male friends are:

  1. more strongly attracted to Asian females,
  2. more comfortable dating Asian female, or
  3. assuming that point one above is definitive – Non-Asian women are not attracted to Asian men.

I’ve never found number 3 to be true but this is just anecdotal to me and all of this is just my opinion.

I’m not really sure why I didn’t really think about it all that much while I was dating, mainly because – for me – it’s just something I did.

What do you think?

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53 thoughts on “Asian Males and White Females”

  1. You know where I stand on this. I just wrote about Bernie as my Asian Brad Pitt. Bernie’s Taiwanese college is married to a white girl… and my best friend up here married a boy from Shanghai and has 4 hapa baby girls. I feel like I’m surrounded, like this is a growing trend, like we’re so cutting edge with our Chinese husbands and cuter-than-everyone-else’s kiddos. And it wasn’t like I was or was not “attracted to Asian men,” but that there was Bernie, and he was BERNIE. Full blown love. Nothing halfsies about it. xoxo

    1. Most likely they were all tall asian men. Non asian women are not really attracted asian guys except the tall dudes with the big one.

      1. Hey – well, because I know the comment author and her husband, he’s not *that* tall, about average height, as am I.

        So, I personally haven’t seen that myself but perhaps that’s your experience.

  2. Therein lies part of the question: were you always attracted to Asian men, never had any experience with Asian men, OR is that a non-issue, it was just, “Oh, he’s cool/cute/smart/attractive, etc” without reference at all to the fact that he wasn’t white?

  3. quite an interesting post. i have noticed the same but have no wise insights about it.

    on a some what related but probably a tangent note: I have to point out that I hated it when that prick on Anthony Bourdain’s recent show about Korean food in K-town, LA was like “Don’t date a Korean girl.” I forget his name. I don’t care enough to look up his name but I think he has some issues. Not that it matters to me, you know, since I’m married and all. =)

    1. I haven’t seen that episode! Now I’ll have to look to it up somehow and watch it. I don’t particularly like blanket statements as a rule but def when it comes to an entire swath of people.

      It’s interesting, isn’t it? There seems to be a million “White guys with Asian women” but not the other way around – at least in the east coast.

  4. I’m only half Chinese, and having dated Chinese guys, it was actually the feeling of not being Chinese “enough” that made most of those relationships fail. It actually turned me off of them, even though they were the type that I was most physically attracted to. I don’t think overall the relationship bias is Asian per say, but rather upbringing. I categorize them as the family centered or the independence centered groups. If you were from that family centered background and Asian, you knew for the most part that other Asians would identify and be okay with the commitments that you have to make. Most independent types (mainly Caucasian) don’t always understand.

    1. Three things:

      a) Heya! I feel like I’ve not “seen” you in a while.
      b) I didn’t know you were a hapa until now. (Did I? I don’t recall).
      c) I think I can say that it makes some sense to me. Some Chinese guys – as I’ve noted – are really, really “proud” of being Chinese. I can understand a sense of some pride but the excessive ones do strike me as a bit strange.

      Then again, I think I was def one of those types of people early on in my life. Maybe they were just immature like I was back then?

      Hard to say, but an interesting question, nonetheless.

      1. Yeah, I’ve been going down to Trinidad a lot the last few months with sporadic internet. Just got back Monday and should be my last visit for a while. (Other half – Trinidad Indian?) =)

        And I think it was always a time commitment thing. White guys never understood the amount of time I had to spend with my family or why I wasn’t able to spend time with them. You’re probably right about immaturity. When you’re 20, waiting/biding time/working on relationships is too much work, when there’s always someone else.

        1. Wait, so you’re half-Chinese and half-Trinidad Indian? So interesting, you may be the first I know.

          Funny, my wife is a bit surprised how close I am with my family and how often I visit them; it really is a very different thing for non-Asians, isn’t it?

          Yes, I agree completely about the 20s thing. Things are a lot different in your 30s and (it seems) your 40s. Yikes!

          1. Yup but I really just identify as Trini. I’ve never been to China.

            And that surprise is what I think of the family vs independent people. When I was younger and dating, they never understood why I’d have to go to so many “family” things. More…ethnic cultures understood…
            Although now that I’ve moved away from my family, it’s easier for me to understand from the other point of view.

    2. Consider trying the Asian American angle if you haven’t. I work with a lot of first through third generation Asian Americans and the spectrum of personalities you’ll get is pretty broad ranging from fairly “Asian” with an Asian cultural upbringing and to very well assimilated. It’s interesting that the AA community doesn’t need to pick one, the other, or right in the middle but can pretty much settle anywhere in the spectrum between cultures. You might have a more similar experience with them and so could perhaps relate / find it easier to communicate regarding this issues.

      1. I’m first generation but even with my peers, I see exactly what you’re saying; there’s a tremendous range of people from fully assimilated to not at all.

        On that note, I actually know a brother and sister who came here at the same time and at the same age – they’re twins – and the sister speaks with no accent, is fully assimilated, and has pretty much forgotten how to speak Chinese; the brother is still has a fairly pronounced accent and can not only speak but read as well. Very, very interesting.

  5. Hi Logan!

    I just discovered your post via Jocelyn (Speaking of China) and I enjoyed your insights.
    Here in Shanghai is not common to see AMWF couples, some people ask me for a ratio that compares AMWF with WMAF and I simply can’t do that. I see WMAF couples everyday, is very normal, but I only saw 3 AMWF couples since I am here, 2011. So there is no way to do any ratio, if I sit down somewhere I will need to stay there for 1 year … 🙂
    As you explained aboved those are the reasons we hear the most when people talk about Asian.

    I am a Spanish girl, my fiancee is Chinese, people ask if I always thought about Chinese..or..I liked them or…It simply happened. Is the first time my partner is from China, I didn’t plan it, but I never said anything such as “I will never date a …Chinese / American / African / Hispano…”, I met a person that happens to have a Chinese nationality and that’s it. I am just loving it!

    Keep up the good work!

    Laura

    1. Sweet, thanks! She has a very interesting blog, I’m going to read more of her.

      Here in NY – especially where I am – I can’t go a day without seeing a few WMAF couples but I can quite a while without seeing AMWF; but I think it’s still a better ratio than where you are with essentially one couple a year! That’s quite surprising.

      As for you, it’s funny, but what you said pretty much echoes what my wife said. I think perhaps more Asian men need to ask out more non-Asian women. Although, maybe that’s easier said than done?

  6. Hi!

    Like Laura, I also found your blog through Speaking Of China. Looks great!

    I my self have practically only dated Chinese guys. I’ve always been interested in China and for some reason that included Chinese men. I’m now living together with a Chinese man who have never dated foreign girls before me.

    When I’ve talked about this with my Western girl friends, they often don’t see Chinese guys attractive or at least that is the reason they give me. Can’t understand why, but everyone has their preferences.

    I almost never see couples like us on the street and I only know a couple or two in real life. Here in China people also do pay attention to us, more than I get when I’m walking alone. If we aren’t holding hands people assume we are classmates, but that doesn’t happen that often cause we always walk hand in hand.

    I think there are stereotypes on both sides, Western girls seeing Chinese guys and vice versa. When these two groups have more interaction and commnication between them I’m sure more romance will happen.

    Oh, and Laura’s comment reminded me how sometimes foreigners (not Chinese that is) ask me why I’m with a Chinese guy. I just reply “Why not?”

    1. Hello! First of all, thanks for the thoughtful comment – I think my wife answered almost identically but she also said, “No Asian ever asked me out.” Which I think is similar.

      And yes, everyone has their preferences – I wrote once that the saying, “Attraction is not a choice” is very true and very accurate, I think. We like whom we like, even if we don’t want to.

      I think it’s interesting that people notice you two more if you hold hands. I think everyone in the US assumes my wife and I are together since, although it’s uncommon, it’s not *that* uncommon.

      I’m going to stop by your blog as well; Jocelyn has some great readers.

      1. Hi Logan!
        How different are our experiences, it is true is all about location, location location.
        Here they think he is my translator, until I answer to them. That’s because is not so common yet and there are language barriers.
        Sometimes they think he is an American Born Chinese, so we can have some fun with that. We enter in a small store and is nice to see how the woman says to him his Chinese is perfect and asks a lot of questions, that makes me laugh a lot.
        “Your boyfriend’s Chinese skills are awesome”
        I am very proud of it and I say: Yeah I know, he is awesome.
        🙂
        Everyone happy with that.

        1. I wrote once a while ago that our destiny is shaped by the fact that we are born to the parents to whom we are born – and location is a huge part of that thought.

          That’s funny about you two; I speak passing German and when I was in Germany with another white girlfriend, they kept talking to her and I would answer in German, and they would look confused and keep talking to her. It was very odd and funny at the same time.

          I’m glad you’re dating someone awesome. Everyone should date someone awesome!

  7. Another reader from Jocelyn’s blog who found his way here. I am Chinese from HK but now live in Vancouver Canada. Here in Vancouver we are an immigrant country and we have a very diverse mix of people from all over the world including Africa, Asia, Europe, Middle East and the Americas. Around here we have almost as much interracial mixes as non interracial couples, however the majority of IR relationships tend to follow certain color lines. I guess the truth is there is a color ranking here when so many different colors mix. Basically if the man is dark skinned either Middle eastern, Persian, African or East Indian, then any IR tends to be with white girls. If the man is white then any interracial pairings tend to be with Asian girl. All other colors get the odd mix here and there but not really that prevalent and indeed may seem rather too few for such a diverse City as Vancouver, we also have a large population of Latino’s and they tend to fall all over the color spectrum as they are vary mixed in color themselves but the general rule of thumb is mostly dark skinned girls stick to their own men and Asian men stick to their own women and everyone else mixes quite a bit more).
    So I think the reason is probably because we are just in the opposites of the color rankings thus there are less Asian guys with white girls. I don’t see it as any specific bad issue, its just the way it is. It doesn’t mean Asian guys and white girls cant date, it just isn’t as popular.

    1. Hello! Well, I can’t say the same here in NYC – it’s quite the different mix although I have to say that white males and Asian females are *vast* majority of the interracial couples, although I’ve seen most, if not all, the various permutations in my life.

      My guess is that as the years go by, it will all become even more fluid and we’ll see even more mixing – in NYC, Vancouver, and beyond.

  8. My longtime on-and-off girlfriend in my late teens-early twenties was black. I always loved the negative looks I got from black males and white females when we were out together. It made me feel rebellious and I was proud to show her off.

    After we split up, I turned down the advances of an Asian girl I was very much attracted to, and it was mostly due to the fact that I had a lot of Asian friends and coworkers, and did NOT want the stigma of being that “white guy that dates Asian girls” that people (myself included) made fun of.

    I know it shouldn’t matter at all, but if it does, it does. Less-common interracial pairs seem to be free of the stigma that the more common ones are plagued with when it comes to society’s views on the relationship. Maybe we are waiting for more data to come back on the less common match-ups so we can confidently judge the hell out of them.

    Anyway, I think the lack of AMWF match-ups is due to a near-endless list of reasons, but the walls are definitely coming down and we are seeing the pairing more and more. The stereotype of the Asian male as nerdy/awkward/socially inept is rapidly becoming a thing of the past in American culture, after all.

    The other night I was at Best Buy, and saw a DVD on display for some teen dance competition movie. From the cover, it was pretty obvious it was about a cute girl being pursued by two boys, once of which was a white guy, and the other an attractive, muscular Asian male.

    I’m assuming she ends up with the white guy, but hey! You’re in the mix!

    1. It’s funny you say that because for the past three years or so, people have been saying the opposite about me – that I *only* date non-asians – so I had “white fever” if you will. And I’ll have to admit that it did bother me for a while, especially since it wasn’t true at all.

      But after a while, I figured I’d just do what made me happy and not care as much what other people thought of me. After all, I’m not what others think I am. Of course, that’s easier said than done. But I think I’m at a place (and an age) where I genuinely don’t care what a lot of people think of me.

      As for the DVD, we’re in the mix! Who know where we’ll be in a few years.

  9. Your writing somehow always resonates with me regardless the stage I am at in life. For many years, I identified with being hapa and I always had a preference for Chinese men (I’m using the term “men” loosely, more boys to be honest!) except most of them often treated dating me as an exotic oddity. Like, she’s mixed, woofreakinghoo but it was never anything serious. Then, I got engaged to the first caucasian I ever dated. We didn’t continue with the engagement but I continued dating caucasians after and like you, it was never a decision per se but something I just did. In the process, I no longer identified with being hapa but more towards being a third culture kid (adult).

    In Australia (I moved here!), I think AMWF and WMAF combinations are quite commonplace so, the boyfriend and I aren’t unusual at all and so it’s not something I take notice of, any longer.

  10. Heya – I feel like I’ve not *seen* you in a while – are you staying on LJ or thinking of moving somewhere else?

    When did you move to Australia?! how do you like it? I should really just read your blog and catch up on everything. That’s interesting that AMWF is commonplace where you are; I would think it would be here but it’s not so much that I no longer notice it when I see it. Whenever we see a couple like us, we always comment on it.

    I have dated a few hapas in the past and I think a lot of them are like you and identify with being a hapa pretty strongly, as if it is a wholly different thing, which I think might be closer to the truth anyway.

  11. AMWF dating for me is also “just something I do.” I love that outlook. Far too many people concentrate on race in interracial relationships, rather than focus on a happy couple. I know Asian guys who go for white girls just because they’re white. While I champion AMWF relationships, that’s not a recipe for a happy couple.

    I recently did some experimentation with AMWF online dating, and I have to say that online dating truly IS stacked against Asian men:

    http://www.asianmanwhitewoman.com/jt-tran/interracial-dating-advice/why-online-dating-is-racist-and-unfair-to-asian-men/

    When I created a profile that stated a specific interest in Asian men, I got SO MANY messages from Asian guys who were so desperate for a white girl that they hitched on to the fact that the profile liked Asians, rather than on attempting to cultivate genuine relationship skills or even decent conversation. That’s a recipe for failure right there. Asian guys, don’t do that.

    1. Hello Alice! Well, that’s a really interesting link as well as some good advice. I think that men in general give off a little desperation when they do online dating and that’s probably as true – if not more so – for Asian men.

      Which is unfortunate; it’s also the exact opposite of what I find for my Asian female friends, who get bombarded by everyone.

      And I agree that there are some Asian males who will go for a white girl – any white girl – just because she’s white but, as you’ve noted, that’s a self-correcting thing. Eventually, there has to be something else there to support the relationship, otherwise, it’s just not enough.

      You should blog about your experiences dating online, it’s always an interesting read, I find.

  12. I think it’s definitely a double standard if you’re a white woman dating an Asian male. There’s more stigma placed on it than the other way around. I Am caucasian and my husband is Asian and we get many stairs and seem to be ousted from every which way. But we love each other just the same… but it hasn’t made it any easier! I get a …that’s your wife? Where did you meet? With a dumbfounded look on their face!

    1. Hello Mona!

      We get that every so often but in NYC it’s not as bad – I don’t think – as it is elsewhere. I def. feel it more when we travel. I suppose as more and more people do it, it will be become less interesting to them; but yes, I agree, we’re def. in the minority.
      Logan Lo recently posted…What’s the margin of error?My Profile

  13. The AMWF combo is more common today in big city areas than it was back in the day when I was a WF dating an AM. For me, it was quite simple: I knew what I liked, and I didn’t wait to be asked.
    But when it came to the question of marriage, I ran up against the prejudice and expectations of his (immigrant) parents. I don’t know about today, but marrying an Asian guy back then, especially the oldest son, also meant marrying his mother and her culture. I doubt whether white males face this issue.

    1. That is completely true and something that I don’t think is discussed all that much. I’m a bit luckier than most in that (a) my parents are pretty open-minded and (b) let’s face it, I’m OLD! Maybe things might have been different if I was 25 instead of 38 when I got married.

      Did you ever end up marrying him or another Asian? Just curious!

    2. So true,I dated a AM for years but the pressure for him was too much. He eventually broke it off and married his own kind. But now I’m married to a AM and his family accepted me (filipino) they are more open to other cultures. But the outside stigma is still there. People look at me at times as the denominator over him. And some prejudice in older American’s is there. Our neighbor befriended me when I first moved in and when she finally met my husband she no longer spoke to me and this has happened before.

      1. I’m always curious if it’s a regional and age thing – I wonder, for example, if my parents would have had issue if we didn’t live in NYC where there were a lot more mixed-races and if I was a lot younger than I am.

        I suppose with enough time, people realize what really matters in life.

        Thanks for the comment!

  14. I always think there is a social stigma against White women dating Asian men in western world.

    If white woman dating an asian man, she will inevitably have to go up against social norm and conformity. Not to mention going against her girl-friends disapprovals.

  15. I don’t think it’s a good idea for Asian men to go after and marry white women. Asian male-white female couples seem to have much higher chances of breaking up and divorces.

  16. Logan – I think you barely touch the surface on this very complicated issue. You want to know why there are so many WMAF couples? Here is a site that really explained all the different angles:

    http://asianmancure.com/asian_female_white_male_couples_understanding_the_pairing.php

    I wish I can say people are just attract to what they are attract to, but that’s simply not true. People are conditioned by media daily. We are basically all been brainwashed by the media in this country since the day we were born. There are reasons why certain IR couples are more common than others. The very core of it is that white men controls the media and they have done everything in their power to promote “white is right” and put white guys as the “man”.

    If you are a minority or anyone who thinks racism is wrong, I highly suggest you read this site and understand where Asian Americans stand in this country:

    http://www.asianmancure.com

    1. “I wish I can say people are just attract (sic) to what they are attract to, but that’s simply not true.”

      I have to disagree with you here. 99.999% of advertising and entertainment is about a man and a woman. Yet there’s a strong gay community and under-current now and always. And the reason is the same, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. To deny it – so long as both parties are consenting adults – is to live a world that isn’t this one.

      In the book I just wrote, A Great First Date, there’s a baseline belief where we accept the world as it is, not as the way we wish it were. You may be right that white men control the media, but in the end, it’s easier to change ourselves than the world around us. Not to say we shouldn’t, but we all do our own small part.

      Oh, and in college, most of my studies were Asians in America. Thought I’d mention that.

  17. I will add few more comments on why there are fewer AMWF vs. AFWM.

    1. AMs are being stereotyped daily by the white dominated western media in this country. As a result, many AMs internalized much of the racism. Some overcome it, some don’t. As a result, many simply don’t want to deal with it. That’s probably one of the major reasons why many don’t bother trying to date non-Asian women because they don’t want to deal with more racism that will come with it.

    2. Men have to ask women out in this country. When many AMs don’t ask non-Asian girls out, AMxF dating just won’t happen.

    3. AFs get hit on by men of different races constantly. The main reason is WMs in this country got a major fetish for AFs. Therefore, WMs constantly hypersexualize AFs to feed their fetish. This is why all the men want to get with AFs. Most of this is due to hypersexualization of Asian females in the USA media.

    4. Asian men are basically competition so WM controlled media went out of its way to many AMs as unattractive as possible. That’s why you will only see Asian men on TV as short, geeky, nerdy, speak bad English, unattractive etc. 95% of the time. You will hardly see Asian men that are tall, good looking, speak perfect English, romantic, get the girl etc. You will only find them in Asian dramas on sites like http://www.dramafever.com.

    I have traveled around quite a bit. In countries like Brazil where Asian men aren’t being stereotyped so badly like in white anglo-saxon countries (USA, UK, Canada, Australia), Asian men do fine. You go to any mall, you see Asian guys with good looking Brazilian women everywhere. It is a common site in cities with large Asian population. This is certainly not the case in the USA.

    Finally, biggest reason I believe is because Asian guys simply don’t ask out enough non-Asian girls. If an non-Asian girl never been asked out by Asian men, she will just assume they are not interested in her and she will simply cut them out of her “dateable” men database. I believe this is the main reason why there aren’t many AMxF couples vs. the vice versa. Asian guys simply have to overcome all the negative brainwashing by the white male controlled media. No one says it is easy, but it is a must for every Asian guy if they want to achieve his full potential in this country.

    I personally have dated quite a bit (over 100 women) so I do have some experience. I have dated number of non-Asian women simply because I asked. I grew up in an all white town so I had no choice but to ask white girls out when I was young. Because I had some white girlfriends, I developed confidence as I got older. Naturally, I got turned down many times as well but I always know there is another girl who will give me the chance. These are the common things I heard from many non-Asian girls I dated:

    1. They were shocked an Asian guy asked them out since I was always the first one. As a comparison, some of my past Asian girlfriends get hit on by white men constantly. One ex-Asian gf told me ratio of white men vs. Asian men that made passes at here was something like 17 to 3. I am 100% many non-Asian girls don’t get hit on by Asian men period.

    2. Many of my ex non-Asian GFs have told me that they would date another Asian guy after me. At minimal, I did my small part to show some women out there that Asian guys are normal just like other guys. Some of them even told me they pay attention to Asian guys they see on the streets now vs. before.

    As for how media has impacted what a woman would find attractive, please read this blog post about a white girl’s take on Asian men. She grew up in the USA and she has lived in Asia:

    http://www.mappingwords.com/2013/02/08/my-ever-growing-attraction-to-asian-men/

    1. Hey, thanks for the comment.

      I agree with you that many AMs don’t aask non-Asian girls out. I feel that if you like someone, you should ask them out. Why they don’t and what they can do about it are wholly different topics and issues, but on the whole, I agree with you.

      I also have to say that my experiences with dating non-Asians mirror yours in that they too have said that I was the first Asian they were attracted to; and I know a few of them that ended up dating other Asian men after me.

      Ultimately, if someone wants something enough, they can make it happen. Everything else is just noise.

      1. Yep. I do agree with you that we are in control of our own lives. Regardless the crap we are fed daily, we can still control within our own circle of influence. I don’t believe what I am fed daily because I know the exact agenda behind it.

        At end of the day, we have to take control of our lives. Dating is just one aspect of it. I believe if an Asian guy is willing to go out and just ask girls out, he would find out there will ALWAYS be women who are above the media brainwashing. Also, personal experience is far more powerful than media influence. If a woman experienced dating an Asian guy, I am almost 100% sure she will consider the next Asian guy if she finds the guy attractive.

        1. I agree with everything you’re saying here.

          Men (and women) in general have to deal with a lot as it is; for men, they usually must pursue, approach, etc. But on top of all that, an Asian man has all of those additional fetters you mentioned.

          We can try to deny we have them, or rail against them, but both accomplish little. We can only deal with them individually, and little else matters.

  18. If you feel down at all, you shouldn’t! There’s whole communities for Asian men and white women to date each other! Come by heyamwf.com!

  19. I do not agree with your first reason. Studies have found that males of any race do not really have a preference of race. Basically, males of any race are attracted to a beautiful girl. I do not think asian males “strongly” prefer asian women. However, same studies have shown that race does matter a lot to women. Women are the ones who choose their partners and race is important to women. I think any asian guy that says “he only prefers asian,women” is just usimg as excuse for being rejected by women of other races, its the whole “they cant reject me if i reject them first”. But if a gorgeous white, black, latina girl was interested in them then I gurantee they would for her.

    Asian men are highly attracted to white women and I think your last 2 reasons are legit. I have a friend who is an extremely attractive white woman and she dates exclusively asian men. She could have any white man but she prefers asians and she never ever has a shortage of asian male admirers. She gets hit on by a lot of married asian men (to asian women) as well and who are always telling her how much more beautiful they find her.

    Anyway heres a link to article about how women are the racist ones, not men.

    http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/uncategorized/women-are-racist/

    1. Hmmm, I’d have to see those studies – I can only speak to my own personal experience but both I and several friends never even considered dating anyone that wasn’t Asian in high school and college – I can think of two friends that have never dated anyone besides Asians, despite having ample opportunities to do so, because that’s their preference. Of course, that’s purely anecdotal on my part but I would be interested in seeing the studies.

      As for that article, I read the NY Times article previously and thought it was interesting; race is definitely something I think men have to deal with with it comes to women, but not something that’s insurmountable.

  20. In my opinion, being Asian in the dating world is such a BIG advantage. Females don’t see me coming. Unfortunately, most Asians don’t see it that way. It’s pretty common to see Asian females with Caucasian males, but it’s rare to see Asian men dating white women. Try to check this out “The Feminine Woman”. Well, I must say that it is completely a stereotype thinking and concept about such relationships.
    Kyla Preston recently posted…Why It’s OK (And Even Attractive) For Women To Cry Any Damn TimeMy Profile

    1. That’s a great way to look at it and how I actually look at it. I’ll check out the link you posted too – thanks!

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