Categories
personal

Comings and Goings

 

A buddy had a going away party on Saturday at one of my favorite joints, Solas and different people from different circles of my life met up there.

We ran into others like Candyfiend – whom I also bumped into last week midtown, an actor from 72nd to Canal, and a Texan and her friend (like the hat?) I met at a party a week ago. Sometimes NYC’s a small town.

Lots of memories there. Before my time it was called Café Tabac and Madonna worked there. You know, I met Somena there, was there for dozens of parties, was slapped there and last saw Blue-Jean Eyes there.

Had my 30th birthday party at Solas too.

The coolest thing about Saturday night was that there were at least 10 people there for my buddy’s thing that were at my 30th as well.

Friends come and go. Some stay with you physically; some stay with you mentally. Some do both.

Have a safe trip, buddy.

Location: 7:15PM yest, saying hello at church
Mood: psyched!
Music: On my way to see my friends who live a couple blocks away
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Anniversary / Year in Review

 

 

Him: You ok?
Me: Just thinking ’bout last summer.
Him: What about?
Me: (laughing) I feel free again.
Him: (disgusted) Don’t get all emo on me, dude.

It’s been exactly a year since I’ve started blogging. Had a different blog for a few weeks before I turned to this one.

Started it all because I was bleeding so much electronic ink anyway back then. Somehow, it’s morphed into what you see now.

Been in a good mood lately because I’ve had some time to reflect on the year. I wonder what my life would have been like if the ex and I stayed together – I think we’d have bits of happy with shades of miserable.

If we stayed together, though:

  • I never would have met Somena or L, (both of whom I met in bars – weird). I also wouldn’t be so chatty with KGBetty, Hazel or Nadi. With them plus new girls like Burn, I’ve got an awesome set of female friends.
  • I probably wouldn’t see the Zu Boys, Giovanni, Bryson, Hipstomp, Captredstar, Sheridan, Paul or any of the other guys nearly as much.
  • I wouldn’t have dated all the people I’ve dated – dunno if that’s good or bad. I’d probably have more scratch but less interesting stories.
  • I would never have dated the girl with blue jean eyes, which, for all it’s ridiculous drama, I still think of fondly. I should tell you that after we broke up, I got hooked on mac’n cheese cause of her.
  • I wouldn’t have gotten into photography.
  • There’d be no 72nd to Canal.
  • I wouldn’t know the joy that is aged dark rum on the rocks with a slice of orange.
  • I would have died having only kissed 10 women in my life – huh…
  • Probably still be driving my ride.
  • Harold’d still be a salad buffet.

Mostly though, I wouldn’t have this blog. You wouldn’t be reading me; I wouldn’t be writing this.

There’d be no you and me.

Funny thing is: I intended to only write this for a year, at most. Figured I’d run outta things to say to the three people that read me if I posted, say, every two days or so.

Now, I look forward to these daily conversations with you. Like I said, 8.2 million people but few connections.

Check it out: just for now, we’ve traveled through time (I wrote this before you read it) and space (I’m here, you’re there) and we’re connected. Writing is more than just words strung together – writing is telepathy.

You may think I’m vain, a womanizer, a hypocrite, awesome, humble, self-involved, brilliant, stupid, what-have-you,

But I’ve tricked you, you see; It’s quiet now, And I made you think of me.

The very last thing said at the end of this 80s flick called Heaven Help Us is by Ed Rooney. After everything, he’s a shampoo boy at a Bensonhurst hair salon, where the hours suck, the pay sucks, and I’m surrounded by ‘funny guys’, but the tips are great! Thank you, God!

It’s sucked a lot from there to here but I don’t think it could have played out any differently, or better, really.

One last movie quote. In You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen writes to Joe:

The odd thing about this form of communication is that you’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.

I’m not on the other side yet, but I think I’m on my way.

Without getting too emo, thank you, very much, for reading me.

I’ll keep writing…

Thank you, God.
Location: here, telling you something important to me
Mood: grateful
Music: I’ll be back in the high life again
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Great Expectations

Everyone I ever liked was some form of Estella

Dickens actually wrote two endings for the book – in the published version, you don’t know what happens to the two of them.

In the original, Dickens had Pip realize that he loved the girl that was cruel. And that girl was gone. The good girl left behind, wasn’t the one he loved.

I can relate. Think all the women I’ve ever had a thing for was some version of Estella. Interesting, eh?

I would love to meet a girl with that name. There was this Korean girl Stella whom I had a crush on. When we got our yearbooks, she wrote, You should have asked me out, I woulda said yes.

Argh! It’s why I don’t tell people things like that.

Other names I like:

  • Alexis – damn, that’s sexy
  • Amanda – just dated one
  • Marie – just met one from France, seeing her soon
  • Melissa/Melody/Molly – no explanation
  • Yve/Yvonne – massive elementary school crush
  • Many French/German/Russian names – Tajania, Katja
  • Many Japanese names – Naomi, Marimo

Once dated a girl who was Frau Zuzanne D’Longe – that was just hot.

Just walked in from a date.

Keep wondering if it’s better to have expectations or to have none.

Location: -30 mins telling her, I’m going in again
Mood: sotted
Music: I’d just like to know do you love him or just making time

Categories
personal

We all have our own Black Swans

A Black Swan is an unforeseen event that makes a huge impact

A Black Swan is an unforeseen event that makes a huge historical impact. The assassination of Franz Ferdinand, 9/11, and the rise of dot coms are considered Black Swans.

But we all have our own personal Black Swans, yeah? Those events that changed everything about our lives completely unexpectedly?

The ex moved out a year ago this week.

I recorded the above video for my brother after I got back from Baltimore and saw that she, and all her stuff, was gone (nothing risqué; trust me, totally SFW).

I used the spatula to make myself a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich. I sat in my empty living room and thought, Well, this is gonna suck. And it did. Really bad.

But it doesn’t anymore. When I do think of a girl, she’s not the one I think of. I never would have believed it.

Time and tide changes everything.

Note to self: If you ever live with a chick again, do not throw out your utensils just because hers matches.

Life is good.

Location: -20 mins, on Broadway, picking grapefruit
Mood: grateful
Music: My heart was broke, my head was sore, what a feeling
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Umbrellas in our drinks

 The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks

 

Spoke to an ex a few times in this month. Probably not a good idea.

Speaking of exes, I met a designer who asked me what happened with my last serious girl. I don’t know why I told her because I don’t think I told anyone really, including you, did I? No great drama, really. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Me: One random day, I picked up tickets to a show and got reservations at her favorite Japanese restaurant as a surprise. She said she couldn’t make it that night because she was tired. So I tried to get her come out without ruining it and she hung up on me.
Her: That’s it? That’s crazy! You never told her?
Me: (shrugging) I tried but it’s hard talking to a dial tone.
Her: What? You couldn’t leave a message?
Me: I could have. But I felt that she should have been on my side, yeah?
Her: That’s your pride talking. I dunno who’s more f____ up, you or her.
Me: I’d put money on me. (laughing) But hey, we’re in New York, the night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks. Does anything else really matter right now?
Her: (shakes head, grins)

It’s been a while since I’ve thought of either ex.

Dunno if it’s church, chicks, the checks or the rum, but I’ve been oddly content.

That’s not true – I know why. I’ll tell you soon.

Promise.

Location: 5:45PM yest, alone in a church
Mood: excited
Music: Sunlight On my face I wake up and yeah I’m alive
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Seven more things you might not know about me

Doing another meme – it’s what we do…

I’m doing the following meme as a followup to something similar a while back. So here are seven more things you might not have known about me:

  1. I paid for part of college by working in NYC clubs. I’m hard of hearing in one ear because of it.
  2. Unless due to (a) work or (b) a prior engagement – and much like that girl in high school everyone talks about – I never say no to a party.
  3. I’m a TV addict and built a machine that can record 750 hours of TV – cause I’m a geek.
  4. Prior to 8/2006, I only ever kissed 10 girlies. Since then, I’ve kissed a few more.
  5. I really quit my job to be a competitive fighter six years ago but then I got injured in training (dammit). I tell people I quit to write so I don’t have to tell the story.
  6. I’ve saved 10% of everything I’ve ever made since I was 14. Because of that, I own my apartment and have for the past three years. I have no debt besides the mortgage (and my bookie).
  7. I miss being 8. We were poor but I was always happy. I remember my mom brought me to the doc because she worried that I was daft – I’d stand and stare at the blue sky for hours.

My mom doesn’t know that, 26 years later, I still do it – shhhhhhh don’t tell her.

She worries.

Location: 10PM yest, at Bourbon St asking her if she knows
Mood: chipper
Music: there’s no place that I could be without you honestly

Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

On our toes

We’re lovely, you should meet more of us

Her: You’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been attracted to.
Me: Ah, you’re missing out. We’re lovely. Plus, wait until you meet the really good looking ones.

I recently hung out with Burn, one of the girls I met a couple weeks back.

She’s very cool. We’re not each other’s types, mainly because she’s looking for a nice Jewish boy and my last serious relationship made it clear that’s not a route I’m interested in traveling again.

Burn’s a dance coach and she was with about a half-dozen of her fellow dancers Friday night. My luck running straight and true, all lovely ivy-league grads, none age appropriate.

Doesn’t matter though, still a fun night. I’m sure I’ll see her again as she lives around the way and I like her company.

I love that you really never know what’s coming up next in NYC.

Keeps us on our toes, yeah?

I love being on my toes.

Location: 11PM, asking for her name again on 6th Ave
Mood: happy
Music: I fall on the floor and I’m laughing
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Which one are you?

 

(c)Disney

Saw a sneak preview of The Kingdom on Monday. It had it’s good and bad points but I gotta say that the fight scene with Jennifer Garner is worth the price of admission.

Totally hot. Totally.

———-

Me: So you think she was saying that she was gay to get rid of me or what?
Nadi: Nah, that’d make it more conversation, not less. If she just wanted to get rid of you, she’d have just said she had a dude.
Me: True. Hmmm, I wonder if…
Nadi: Oh stop, you’re not gonna change her. That’s every man’s dream.
Me: (laughing) Maybe we should eat there some…
Nadi: (rolling eyes) Sheeyeah, Logan – riiiiiiight…

———-
Him: You’ve never heard that before? Look, everyone turns into one of the Seven Dwarfs when they drink. Like me, I’m Sleepy Dwarf. So, which one are you?
Me: (thinking) Is there a Friendly Pirate Dwarf?

Location: 9PM, getting slashed at in the UWS
Mood: content
Music: Don’t wake me i plan on sleeping in
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Sold I to the merchant ships

I consider our origins

Well I’ve gotten some…colorful emails based on my last post.

While both men and women read a lot more into it than intended, both seemed to disappointed in me for completely different reasons.

Primo Levi wrote in Survival in Auschwitz, that he carried a 100 pound soup pot because it gave him a few moments in the sun.

A guard gave him the gig for Italian lessons. So Levi taught him Dantes Inferno 26, which has the line, Considerate la vostra semenza: fatti non foste a viver come bruti, ma per seguir virtute e canoscenza.

Consider your origin; you were not born to live like brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.

Look, we’re human. We’re flawed. But we try. It’s our redemption song.

Dante and Levi both believed that we have some nobility somewhere – even after seeing their respective hells, yeah?

Location: 2PM yest, watching a rooster in Harlem
Mood: amused
Music: someday we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun

Categories
personal

Norwegian Wood

Waking up in Brooklyn and Hotel Logan

Me: So what’s your story morning glory? Why do you look so blue?
Her: (pause) Wow, does that line actually work?
Me: You’re talking to me, aren’t you?
Her: (pause, laughter)

Woke up somewhere in Brooklyn yesterday.

For details, just listen to Norwegian Wood. It’s accurate up to the part that goes I told her I didn’t; instead of lighting a fire, I watched Love Actually, instead of stumbling to the bath, I slept on her sofa and instead of her, I flew.

It was a fun night but something that Sabatoa posted popped in my head at 2AM.

I never think I should take what I can; I always think I should get what I want.

You know, I never got her name or number.

But she was 29. She had hazel eyes.

———-

My female friends often crash at my pad knowing they’re as safe as houses. The local doormen think I’m on a tear. We know the truth.

Her: I made it here without you having to carry me.
Me: That’s always a plus.
Her: (in sleepy German) Will you be here when I wake?
Me: I live here – where would I go?

Location: 7AM yest, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mood: happy & pensive
Music: We talked until two And then she said It’s time for bed
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.