Tag: dialogue

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personal

In front of you

Her: (sadly in Chinese) God doesn’t care about me any more. I’m too old. 86.
Me: That’s not true. He’s the one who put me in front of you.

Saw an old friend for dinner last night. We hadn’t talked in ages; last I saw him he was going off to an unpaid internship at Yeah! Local, now he’s now the senior VP at a major internet marketing firm.

We talked shop and it was like talking to an adult after being surrounded by kids all day. Like Sheridan and somea the others, he believes in me more than I do, I think.

Man, I gotta get outta what I’m doing and back into my old life.

On the way there, heard an old Chinese lady yelling over and over again, “CHINATOWN!” on 37th and Lex. She reminded me of my grandma. So I went over and told her in my crappy Chinese that I’d get her there. She was visiting an old friend in a hospital nearby and got lost. Took her arm, walked her to the right stop, and waited for the bus with her.

Me: (to driver) Hey man, this nice little lady needs to get to Chinatown. Can you make sure she gets off on Bowery and Bayard? (driver nods and smiles broadly at her)
Her: (to me in Chinese) Thank you – your Chinese’s not as bad as you think.

Me: (laughing) Nonsense. But I’ll let my dad know you said so. Told you – God put me in front of you.

Hopped off the bus and made it over to the Shelburne. Afterwards, walked from there to Columbus Circle, just cause I can’t sleep anyway. Thought about my mom – if she got lost, I’d hope someone’d help her get home.

Speaking of home, Heartgirl’s on a plane back as I write this. Was only two weeks but I missed her terribly.

Location: at the rents, in front of the tube
Mood: restless
Music: get your plane ride on time I know your part’ll go fine

Categories
personal

The California Sun

Location: Santa Monica in my head
Mood: tired but hopeful
Music: something always comes up something always makes her stay


Me and my Mom
Her: You’re always seeing someone.
Me: No, I mean I’m seeing someone…
Her: (puts down hula hoop) Wait, what does that mean? (excitedly) Are you getting married soon? Is she nice? Does she want kids? What’s her name?
Me: (sighs) Clearly, I’ve just made a grave error in judgment.

Me and my Brother
Him: When I left NYC for LA, I had two suitcases and a guitar. Then when I left LA for Miami, had a house fulla crap, a cat, and a wife.
Me: And now that you’re moving back to LA?
Him: Well (thinking) I still have a house fulla crap and the cat (pause) But I’ve since shed the wife tho…

The cool thing about the people that you’re close to is the shorthand language you’ve got.

My brother used to sing in a bar while in med school. One song was about this singer in a bar that loved a waitress named Rachel who wanted to move to LA. The guy didn’t know what to say, so he just said, if you find me one, I’d love a picture of the California sun.

For years my bro said he’d move to LA. Always joked that if he ever did, I’d want a postcard from LA. Then one day he just up and left with two suitcases and a guitar. Spur of the moment thing. Poof.

Week or so later, got a postcard with a picture of the California sun and not much else. Didn’t need much else. I remember that I sat down on my striped sofa and cleared my throat. Then I cleared a place for it on my fridge.

Somewhere through the years, lost it. Stupid roommates.

S’ok though – lookee what I got today:

YASYCTAI: Send someone a nice picture. If y’got time, send me one too. (1 mins/0.5 pts)

Categories
personal

Tennis anyone?

Location: one hour ago, the F train in Queens
Mood: committed
Music: when we met Spending all of my time Tracing your silhouette


Me: I have tennis elbow.
Her: Lateral epicondalitis?

Me: Whoa…

Smart people’re just so impressive. Ladies, don’t ever dumb yourself down for a guy cause the guy you’ll end up with, you won’t want.

———-

Sheridan invited me another party this past Saturday. Nice enough crowd; attractive people, booze. Malik Yoba was there as was my favorite type of rum, although it was $14 a glass again. Crap.

Ended up taking a ton of pics for the host and he offered for me to shoot for his website. Maybe. Sheridan and I bounced early cause I wasn’t feeling all that great – did my yearly physical, got some blood drawn, found out I have tennis elbow, and had a flu shot – all of which was draining (literally and figuratively). So stayed in Saturday night even though Paul, Gio and LisaV each had parties going on.

I’ve not been sleeping. Dunno if it’s the stress, the pain or the fact that Heartgirl’s not around. So I’m reading a lot again: This week alone, I read The ABS Diet, first four chapters of Hot, Flat and Crowded, coupla articles on SEO marketing, two issues of the Economist and Fast Company, and three of Maximum Computer.

On a somewhat related note, I’ve decided to get down to 9% body fat or less, which I’ve not been since froshmore year college (a hundred years ago). Wish me luck.

A lotta stuff”s going on. Lemme sort it all out and get back to you.

YASYCTAI: Have you had your yearly physical? (60 mins/3 pts)

Categories
personal

She and I (did what?)

When to use “I” and when to use “Me”

Second Ranty post in over two years.

I is only ever the subject of a sentence. It is NOT correct to use I as the object. Ever.

To figure out when to use I, subtract the additional person and conjunction to see if it sounds ridiculous. eg:

  • She and I went to the store.
  • She and me went to the store.
    • I went to the store.
    • Me went to the store.

Ergo: She and I went to the store.

  • Here are pics of my girl and I drinking rum.
  • Here are pics of my girl and me drinking rum.
    • Here are pics of I drinking rum.
    • Here are pics of me drinking rum.

Ergo: Here are pics of my girl and me drinking rum.

While on the topic of crap grammar:

  1. ie means, in other words – you can remember this because both begin with i
  2. eg means, for example – you can remember this because it begins with e
  3. gyro is pronounced jai-ro not yee-ro – you can remember because this you’re not a pompous jerk:

Pompous Jerk: You mean a yee-ro?
Me: No, kid. If we were in Athens, I’d mean yee-ro. But we’re in a tiny hell-hole greasy spoon in Queens (turning back to counterman, “No offense, dude,”). We don’t say, “res-toe-ran” for a “restaurant,” we don’t say shed-du-el for schedule. You don’t say yee-ro-scope, do you? Why, outta 880,000 words, the special exception for a meat sandwich? So please back up off my grill and lemme order my jai-ro, in peace.

Sorry, I’ve been irritable – the weather’s lousy, my girl’s on a different continent, my right arm is killin me, I can’t eat for the next 20 hours, I’ve not slept and my secretary just quit. Again.

I want a whole wheat donut.

What I’m gonna get, however, is a glass of tap water, a vitamin pill and two tabs of naproxen.

Location: 5 mins ago, in the shower
Mood: irritated
Music: I’ll just be waiting here – right here

Categories
personal

Miami

Me: You look like a betting man. If I can get you 25 people, mostly girlies, will you get me a table?
Him: I’ll do better than that, I’ll get you a bottle.

Went to Florida for 20somthing hours over the weekend. Last minute decision; my brother’s moving to Cali so he was having a last hurrah. Started out at the Chesterfield Hotel which was fulla doctors, nurses and booze. Lotsa booze. Onea the guys was getting frisky with onea the girls.

Her: (to guy) Why are you touching me? I’m unclear on that.

Then we hopped over to a club called Cameo where, fortunately, some guy floated all of us in.

Unfortunately, a bunch of guys in masks, dogs and guns stormed the club. Fortunately, they were cops. Unfortunately, they shut the joint down, arrested all of the owners and bartenders and, more dismaying, didn’t lemme finish my drink.

Him: There’s some malfeasance going on.

The group decided to hit up another party but I ended up chatting with a promoter at another joint and managed to convince him to float us all in and comp us a bottle of vodka. He ended up buying me a buncha shots too. I like Miami.

The bartender leaned over and said she was buying me a shot of Tequila too. Told her that Tequila and I weren’t on speaking terms but she bought me one anyway. At around 2AM, she pulled me onto the dance floor. Afterwards:

Her: You’re fun. (pause) Did you say you were leaving on the 20th?
Me: No, I said I’m here for 20 hours.
Her: Are you coming back soon?
Me: Don’t think so. Gotta head back to see the girlfriend.
Her: Lucky lady. (smiles) Thanks again for the dance, Logan.
Me: I’ll let her know. Thanks for the dance, Lana.

Crashed with everyone for a coupla hours. Woke up and ate, what I later found out, were cream puffs that were in the fridge for possibly a year.

Rushed to the airport, missed my flight, so went back to brother’s. Try number two worked and I ended up in Newark airport at 21:15. Dropped my buddy Paul off downtown and zipped off to my favorite lady in the world.

Him: Mom went to bed already. We’ll get breakfast tomorrow. Nite.

Heartgirl, my favorite lady whom I’m not related to, is away for a few weeks. In Africa. Think I miss her already. But it’s probably for the best. The next two weeks are gonna be rough.

Location: finally back in NYC
Mood: tired
Music: Turning back she just laughs The boulevard is not that bad
YASYCTAI: Go somewhere completely different soon. You need a change of latitude. (Two weeks/3 pts)

Categories
personal

Done, done

Location: 19:00, unlocking a door in Queens
Mood: thoughtful
Music: No one ever said it would be so hard


Me: I’ve always been honest to you.
Her: I know it and I hate it. (pause) I’m just jealous because boys always pick me.
Me: (laughing)
Her: It’s true!
Me: I know it. I know it.

While we never see each other, PCD and I still chat online. We spoke the other night cause I was too tired to type. She’s thinking of starting a blog too, told her she should.

Her: You’re not right for me, I know that.
Me: That’s the thing about her. I think I’m right for her and she’s right for me. We’re appropriate for each other.
Her: I’d hate that – to appropriate for someone else.
Me: It’s not a bad thing. It’s hard for a boy like me to just stop, y’get used to the random nights. You know that better than most people – that it’s hard to stop and say, I pick you. To be done, y’know?
Her: Are you done, done?
Me: I hope so. (pause) I really like her.
Her: (thinking) Good then. I want you to be happy.

If there’s one common trait to the people I’m actually close to, it’s that they’re all really good people. My dad says that if you find good people in the world, you should keep them around at all costs.

He’s a smart man, my dad.

This post continued here.

YASYCTAI: Figure out which one of your friends are worth the effort and drop them a line. (hours/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Strawberry Swing

Him: That’s the way to make an entrance. Walk in, demand a drink, and drop your pants.

Met up with Heartgirl on Friday for a quiet night in. Saw the interactive art project at Madison Square Park and then ate dinner at a nice restaurant.

Always good when you don’t have to unwrap your dinner.

Saturday, saw my brother for massive amounts of pizza. He doesn’t live in NYC so whenever he’s here, he gets his fill.

Saturday night, went to HEI’s for her birthday party. Got absolutely soaked in the rain so as soon as I arrived, ask for some pants to wear.

Spend the night walking around in women’s sweatpants and slippers.

Met some nice people and one girl that asked, “Can we be friends?”

Brought HEI a bottle of rum. We all almost kicked it that night.

Rolled home at 2AM and woke up the next day without a hangover.

Love that rum.

Sunday, go with my brother to grab sushi. For some reason they gave us a bottle of sake and I had to drink it myself.

Quite a way to start off a Sunday morning.

Sunday night, go with Heartgirl and one of her friends to see Coldplay in concert.

Heartgirl doesn’t like being in pictures. She does like being with me though.

Fair trade.

Duffy was the opening act. Spent $11.25 for a diet coke, pretzel and package of Reese’s Pieces.

Coldplay was amazing in concert. Seem like nice fellas.

Got home five minutes to midnight. Now I’m home getting ready to run out the door. And you? How was your weekend?

Location: home, and running late
Mood: tired
Music: without you it’s a waste of time (Spotify)
YASYCTAI: Treat yourself to a small concert. The last major one I went to was 20 years ago. (90 mins/1 pts)

Categories
dating personal

Home in NYC

Was walking home over the chilly weekend when a dragonfly settled down on a stoop in my neighborhood. Guess I’m not the only one that thinks NYC’s lovely in the Fall.

Saw Heartgirl over the weekend. She made an offhand comment about something, which I don’t remember in the least – cause she called me her boyfriend.

Been called someone’s boyfriend three times in the past 2.5 years. And the previous two times freaked me out. Decidedly. This time though, it was quite nice. More than nice. It was whatever’s the opposite of freaked out.

She hates, hates, hates, that I referred to myself as a womanizer but I told her that it was what I was and not what I am. Just cause she asked, though, I’m going to try and stop using the term completely. Before I do, however, gotta mention that Rain had two of his students interview me recently as a “pick-up artist” – which I never was.

Her: What’s the difference?
Me: A pickup artist is talented at the pickup. A specialist if you will. I’m only ok at it. But I’m good at people. And I choose to concentrate on women. Hence, womanizer.

As an aside, both interviewers told me that they expected someone completely different. I like to keep people on their toes.

In other news, PCD and I chatted online recently. She too said it’s ok for me to write of her again.

Me: So, what’s new on the dating front?
Her: I went out with three boys and have seven more. I can’t handle any more traffic. A friend and I want to start a blog on dating – now that you’re boring. I just need a fake name.
Me: Hey! (pause) What about PCD?
Her: That’s a dumb name.

Went home to find a jar for the dragonfly cause I didn’t want it to die in the cold. When I got back it was gone.

Things’re always made of sterner stuff than you expect, yeah?

Location: 20:02 yest, explaining the difference on 72nd & Amsterdam
Mood: happy
Music: red letter year they didn’t mention how much shit was gonna change

Categories
personal

Being a Ham

Being Your Best Self

 

Me: You agree with what thing I said?
Him: That there’s no such thing as a line? It’s true. I was saying the stupidest things to this one girl the other day, and she loved every word.

Heartgirl asked me recently if I watched The Pickup Artist, implying that that’s where I learned to be the boy I am. But we both know that I made a fool of myself long before that show came out.

Tina Fey’s all over the place these days because of Sarah Palin but she cut her teeth in improv. In the vid, she takes one idea and ends on a completely different point entirely. It’s fascinating cause you can see how her mind snaps associations together. Rain’s like that too in real life (don’t send him an email). It’s called a Monologue in improv. It’s a crucial life skill to be mentally quick on your feet.

Have to say that improv was a one of two major components of being good out and about; the other was a line from a fella named Thomas S. Monson who said, Don’t be yourself, be your best self.

Contrary to what most people think, the key to connecting with people isn’t to be fake, but very much the opposite: to be as really you as possible – assuming, of course, that the real you’s not a douchebag.

Cause you never stumble for words with your friends – you just say what you think. The guys that screw up out and about are the guys that hide who and what they really are:

Her: Well, I have a terrier.
Him: Oh you have a dog. I love dogs. When did you get him? How big is he? How old is he? What do you feed him? Did you always have a dog? What colour is he? Where do you walk him? Um. What do feed him? Oh, I asked that?

Painful right? that was a real conversation. So was this one immediately afterward:

Me: Hi, I’m sorry, couldn’t help but overhear that you have a dog. I love dogs.
Her: (bored) Really?
Me: Especially with a twist of lemon and some salt and pepper. Then I like to finish off with a whole wheat donut. (noticing her face) What? Whole wheat donuts are great. Y’know what else’s great? Rum…

In a related note, Heartgirl’s sister thinks I’m gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Heartgirl says it’s cause I talk so much with my hands, use words like “lovely,” don’t play sports and am unabashedly nerdy. But it’s who I am.

It’s a suckers game to pretend to be someone you’re not. Y’can never keep it up. If you watch the vid, here’s the thing – everything she’s saying is true. It’s that honesty that makes it so entertaining, funny and compelling.

———-

The Game is recommended reading:

  • for guys, mainly cause you gotta think, if this dweeby, skinny, bald dude can ask anyone out…
  • for girls, mainly cause you should know what’s out there.

Location: at the rents
Mood: productive
Music: What I am is what I am, are you what you are or what?

Categories
personal

Three barns with white horses & sliding doors

Barn’s burnt down. Now, I can see the moon


Barn’s burnt down — now I can see the moon. – Mizuta Masahide 

Worked this past weekend. Did manage to see Heartgirl for a bit – she said that I could mention her in this blog so long as it wasn’t anything terribly personal. So she’s back. On a related note, s’funny but about ten people unsubscribed since I stopped being single.

Heartgirl and I did have an interesting discussion about how Life works out. Year ago today I was queuing in Great Britain wondering what to do about losing all my scratch. She was doing some heavy thinking in Times Square.

She mentioned she loved Sliding Doors and In-a-Silver-Bag told me a story about a white horse. While I don’t think that everything happens for a reason, I do think that whatever happens in our lives sculpt us to be who we’re meant to be.

Having said that, had a terrible, terrible day. Said it before, out little lives are all just three things – health, wealth and relationships. It’s like our three barns. And onea my barns are always burning.

It’s hard thinking that there’s some good that’s gonna come outta this latest fire. Then again, realized this past weekend that, if my last major relationship didn’t supernova, never woulda started this blog, had the cool parts of the past 24 months, or met any of the people that matter so much to me now.

Also, never would have met Heartgirl. She alone’s worth the price of admission.

Well, her and the rum. Mostly her.

So…hoping that this latest fire is just my way to see Selene again and an excuse to drink some red, red rum.

Location: 19:45 yest, leaving office
Mood: terrible
Music: we got to do something about where we`re going

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