Tag: dialogue

Categories
personal

Forests and Trees

Location: 18:03 yest, dinner with the fam
Mood: confused
Music: every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints


Me: I can’t. (pause) Why do you defend them, anyway? And not even get paid for it? They’re criminals.
Him: (shaking head) They’ve paid their dues. They deserve someone that believes they can be better. God puts them in front of me. How can I not help them? We’ve all made terrible mistakes, haven’t we? They just got caught. They shouldn’t spend their lives paying for their mistakes, should they?
Me: (thinking) We all deserve someone that thinks we can be better. Look, I’m not a litigator. But tell me how I can help.

S’funny.

Is it You can’t see the forest for the trees? or You can’t see the forest through the trees?

Either way, all I see’re these damn trees.

YASYCTAI: Use the word kismet at least three times today. (30 secs/1 pt)
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Categories
personal

This time

Just off Times Square

 

Saw Gio tonight off Times Square. It was a networking thingy and they had some good rum. Probably not a good idea since I went fencing afterward.
The weird thing is that it was across the street from my old pad. Hadn’t been there in a while. Ayn Rand wrote of NYC in The Fountainhead:

I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York’s skyline….When I see the city from my window – no, I don’t feel how small I am – but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body.

You know when you love someone, you’d end anyone that’d do them harm? It’s like that.

Wish I could put it in my pocket and pull it out to show you Nino’s where I had the best Penne with Vodka Sauce, or the Algonquin Hotel where I’d wish I had dough or the chops to sit at the Vicious Circle, or my corner on 46th and 6th Avenue, where I’d sneak a cigarette at 3AM when I couldn’t sleep and wait for the sun to come up. Or my office at 1500 Broadway where I’d look out and see TRL being recorded with those freakin kids screaming.

OK, that I got a picture of.

Feel so damn nostalgic. Wanted to talk to Heartgirl about it but she was busy. S’ok, I’m hoping we have plenty of time to talk about these kinda things.

Speaking of Heartgirl, she doesn’t wanna show up here. So I won’t write of her anymore. Maybe she’ll change her mind but don’t think so. Cause she thinks that this is a blog about me being a womanizer – but that’s just the marketing message.

Me: It’s not. (pause) The truth is, it’s the story of a boy like me looking for a girlie like you. (thinking) And hoping, I mean really, really hoping, that this time, it’ll be different.

Location: wide-awake in my pad
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I wish I knew the time that I’ve taken I pray is not wasted

Categories
business personal

First of the Month

Location: a beige sofa
Mood: awake
Music: can’t think of the right words to say


Secretary: It’s that bitch Janet from Bill’s office on the phone. Man, I can’t…
Me: (interrupting) Please tell me she’s on hold!
Her: I’m not you, Logan…
Me: Hey, what…?
Her: (turning back to phone, singsongy) Helloooo Janet, Logan’s right here. Please wait? (turning to me, flatly) Bitch, line one.

The first of the month is always…stressful. I have to write five-figures worth of checks every first of the month:

  • mortgage
  • office rent
  • salaries
  • utilities
  • equipment costs
  • car payments
  • credit cards
  • insurance

The Devil’s laughing in my head all the damn time.

Got home close to ten that night and a redhead I was seeing stopped by to drop off something so I invited her in for some rum.

Her: I’m just killing time with him. He tells me things like he misses me and I just don’t wanna hear it. At least the extra-curricular activities’re interesting. Most of the time.
Me: And the other times?
Her: I fake it.
Me: Jeez.
Her: I’ve got things to do! (pause) Y’know, he doesn’t even drink. I mean he lets me drink but…
Me: Man, that’s like giving yourself a roofie.
Her: (laughs) I suppose it is. So…tell me about Heartgirl.
Me: (grins)

Speaking of Heartgirl, saw her on Thursday.

Her: I think I’m afraid of being in a relationship.
Me: Yeah. I know what you mean.
Her: I hate your taste in music. (pause) But I like you.
Me: (shrugging) Works for me.

YASYCTAI: Clean the bathroom; you know it needs it. (30 mins / 1pt)

Categories
personal

Hoops

 

Saw my parents the other day and my mom was still outta sorts. So, she picked herself up a hula-hoop.

She said that she hadn’t used one in like 40 years. But she’s proud cause she can do it like 200 times. Gotta say, I was impressed.

As I write this, my mom’s singing What A Wonderful World in the other room. I smile cause she’s getting better and I shut off the TV to listen.

Read all the comments from my last post and Sarcasticserum said that I have my own little internet cheering section. That made me laugh.

It’s a fair trade: I give the you spectacle of my ridiculous life and you sit and read. A comment or two couldn’t hurt.

Still, what’s more boring than a non-womanizing, womanizer? But, hope you stick around anyway. Cause it’s always the supporting cast that really makes the show worth watching living.

Hazel: Good luck, Logan. I’m hoping that whatever you have with Heartgirl is…exactly what you want it to be. (pause) You should put away my toothbrush. You need to make room for hers.

Blue: I wish you were my person…mostly because I want to meet him already. But if you’re not my person, maybe you’re my people. It’s hard finding good people.

You can never have enough good people. And it’s worth going through all the hoops to find them.

Thanks for reading and being on my side.

Location: 19:23 yest, Riverside Park doing taiji and not picking up a blonde
Mood: grateful
Music: on the faces of people going by I see friends

Categories
dating personal

Accepting it

 

Grey: I’m back in town next month. Do you miss me yet?
Me: Of course. But about that…

—-

Me: I wanted to tell you that I had that talk with the other girl and we decided to give it a try.
Blue: OK, thanks for letting me know. (pause) I’m surprisingly OK.
Me: I knew you would be.

—-

Me: So I’m not going to be seeing anyone else, right?
Green: (irritated) Why do you always put it like that: “I’m not going to be seeing anyone else.” You’re fine if I see other people?
Me: (laughing) OK, you’re right. We’re not going to be seeing anyone else, right? We’re actually dating each other and no one else.
Her: (pause) Yes. We’re not going to be seeing anyone else.
Me: OK, Heartgirl. I can do that.
Her: You’ve finally accepted that I’m your SING, huh?
Me: (nodding) Yes.

—-

Me: I can’t do you that favour, brother.
Him: Fine, be an idiot. By the way, stop calling me the Devil.
Me: Ah, you found the blog. Sorry about that. But you know why we call you that.

Location: 20:30 yest, walking home alone
Mood: thoughtful
Music: People stop and stare. They don’t bother me

Categories
personal

Grow up already

The Devil always seems to come at just the right time with a wink and smile, doesn’t he?

 

Him: (sitting) Logan, I need a favour. (hands me an envelope)
Me: I hate it when people open with that. Especially you. (opens envelope) Oh this can’t be good…

Finally saw WALL-E last night. So cute.

Her: I wish we could just keep doing what we do.
Me: (thinking) You know how most guys wanna keep being a kid? I’m tired of being a kid, I wanna grow up already. I think maybe it’s time I grew up already.
Her: I like you though…
Me: (shaking head) That’s only cause I only show you the sides I want you to see.

My life is needlessly complicated. I’m hoping to simplify things shortly.

The forecast says rain all weekend.

Location: 6:00, awake at my desk, looking at phone
Mood: thoughtful
Music: it’s turning me to the count of girl who’d rather be alone.

Categories
personal

Jbell and something completely different

Location: 2:10, spit please
Mood: puzzled
Music: I am likely to miss the main event If I stop

Woke up at an ungodly hour to drive all over the city. Still didn’t finish what I had to finish. Also went to the dentist today for the first time in four years. Two dentists in 11 years – no cavities.

Her: I am curious as to why two of your teeth on your left side are cracked.
Me: Mstpoplererihndedsowen…
Her: I’m sorry, what?
Me: (taking tube outta mouth) Most people are right handed. So when I get punched in the face, I get banged up on my left side.
Her: Does that happen often?
Me: More than y’might imagine.

Got into a very perplexing conversation with Heartgirl today so I’m distracted yet again. It’s onea those things that I need to figure out myself before I write about it.

Breaking with tradition for the second time, HEI has a blog. So readers, please meet: JBell.

She came by for dinner the other night to borrow Syd. We chatted over some rum. It’s nice when people stick around your Venn Diagrams no matter how screwy y’are. You can read her take on me if you can figure out which one’s me.

On that note, someone’s wondered if I’m nicer in this blog than I am in real life, so in addition to Jbell, the girlie from Sunday said she’d write her view of what happened in my last entry – she said she wrote it in my style (yes, she knows about this blog, no I didn’t meet her from it). I never considered that I have a style, but I digress:

Me (the girlie): Are you alright?
Him (Logan): I’m always alright.

He did his fake smile with all the teeth, but the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s not always alright.

And then the thing happened with George. I didn’t scream because screams are not words.

Him: (on phone) Pick him up! Put him back in!
Me: You pick him up! I don’t want to touch him! Pick him up!
Him: (scooping up George in a paper towel) He’s dead! Do you think he’s dead?! I think he’s dead!
Me: Put him back in! Put him back in anyway!

Then George swam, in a perfect zigzag, to the bottom of the tank. He must have been caught in a current because that was it — he was just there, on his side on the rocks. But we didn’t take him out. The empty tank would be too sad. Logan says there’s one more George in there, he just hasn’t seen him for a while. I’m not so sure. So we left this George in, just in case.

Logan told me some sad stories, but they’re his to tell. I have my own.

The sleeping pills he takes scare me. But so do his sad eyes. He looks like a little boy. His shirt’s too big, and his hair’s sticking up all over. He’s not the womanizer he pretends to be. He’s a lightweight when it comes to his rum. He deserves to be happy.

And suicidal George’s swimming around like a miracle fish. He’s a little banged up on one side, but I think he’s ok for now.

YASYCTAI (hers): Convince Logan that covering the fish tank is worth losing the automatic feeder.

YASYCTAI: Get your teeth cleaned. I wanna make out with someone if only cause my teeth feel amazing. (60 mins/2 pts)
Categories
dating personal

We make rules for a reason

I’m always alright

Me: Is it that you don’t want a relationship or you don’t want a relationship with me?
Her: (pause) Couldn’t take another failed relationship, Logan. I can’t. (looking at me) Are you alright?

My fishes keep committing suicide. They jump outta the tank and flop around my floor. They did it tonight when someone was over and she screamed. Dammit, I’m down to one George.

Met up with some blue eyes on Friday to a downtown rooftop where I took a picture of the pier above.

Met up with some green eyes on Saturday where I went to the pier above and took the picture below of the rooftop I was on Friday. My life goes in these funny circles.

PCD made me laugh recently. She kept her promise to stick around. Heartgirl told me that we’re not dating cause we’re beyond that. So I told her she should wind up and swing. She said she couldn’t. Said I understood – but only cause I didn’t wanna know. Trust me when I tell you, you never wanna know why.

Have a secret I’ll tell you someday. But not now. For now, I repeat that my life goes in circles. Said it before, you keep doing what you do, you keep getting what you get. Keep getting what I get cause I keep breaking my rules.

You know why you have rules? You have rules so you don’t have to think. The decision was made a long time ago when someone, hopefully you, were thinking clearly. I’m always tired – never think clearly anymore.

I just keep screwing things up cause I keep breaking my rules.

The girl that screamed went to church with me tonight and walked me home. Just before George jumped outta the tank, she also asked me if I was alright. So I turned to her and put on my best face.

Me: I’m always alright.

 

Sometimes if you put something into the aether, it becomes true and it’s a good thing. I am alright. Just gotta follow my rules. I’m always alright. George on the other hand…

Location: home
Mood: awake
Music: Don’t wanna leave you but I can’t stay anymore.

Categories
personal

Killing time on a rainy night

Who’s our lucky contestant tonight?

Her: It bothers me when you tell me that I’m just killing time with you. I consider you a pretty close friend so I definitely don’t think of it as killing time in any sort of way.
Me: Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2, Lines 1-2, I believe…
Her: What’s the line?
Me: What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

In the above quote, Juliet tells Romeo that Capulet is just a name, just a word. She loves a man named Montague but the name is irrelevant to her. He could just as well be named Smith or McCarthy for all she cares. Doesn’t change who he is.

Courtesy is all about the polite lie. You don’t really think God will bless someone just because they sneeze, do you? Or that if you say Good Morning to someone, they’ll actually have a good morning?

The girl in the above conversation’s too polite to tell me that I’m her placeholder; her stopgap measure. I’m the guy she kills time with until she meets Mr. Right. Not ideal but I’m not one to cry into my porridge.

Besides, anything’s better than the lukewarm.

So I smile, nod and say, Sure – look there’re worse people to spend a rainy night with than each other.

And she nods and says, OK.

So you take a breath breath. Stuff all of that doubt into that little pocket you keep for just such a night. Get dressed cause you never turn down an invitation.

And try to keep that doubt at bay. Don’t think of green eyes or blues eyes. Cause you’re a brick wall. Y’gotta be. And everything, for better or for worse, makes sense again. Shut the door behind you. Breathe in that fall night air and think:

Hello weekend – who’s our lucky contestant tonight?

Location: about to step out
Mood: determined
Music: I just don’t belong here

Categories
business personal

My life in print

Location: early yest morning, by the pier thinking of not going
Mood: wishing
Music: give us the greens of summers


Her: You’re good to me.
Me: I like seeing you happy.

Y’remember that client that I told you I just got, King Happy Shrimp Rice, Ltd? Just picked up a national magazine on the newsstand this week and was shocked to learn that it was named one of the best Chinese restaurants in the NY. Damn. I knew I should have charged more. (Yes, I changed the name slightly – I’m not insane).

Speaking of which, my ex and two of the other men she was seeing at that time are all journalists so I had the misfortune of running into them all regularly as I read my morning paper. The married dude was in the same paper. Of course. As a weird coda t’all this, got an email today from an ISP telling me that the URL I reserved for when she and I got married expired.

Eh, I’m ok with it.

Damn, I get a lotta junk mail.

Saw Heartgirl for dinner the other night. We ordered delivery and saw a flick – hooked up my computer to her plasma TV. She didn’t understand why I didn’t just bring a DVD till I explained to her that all my DVDs were converted to computer files. She was ill-prepared for my level of nerd. It was actually so much fun that, if I didn’t know better, I’d say we were on a date. But she says we weren’t so who am I to argue? I’m seeing her again this week for another non-date, date. Can’t explain it cause I don’t understand it myself.

Today, woke up early but got to where I needed to be late cause a charming girlie by the pier was distracting me. Of course. Got two new fencing students for some private tutoring so I rushed home to get stabbed and punched. Repeatedly.

More things happened but nuthin that’d interest you.

Her: …and that’s how my four-year old cousin learned the word, Zamboni. The End.
Me: (laughing) You always end your stories with “The End.”
Her: Well, that’s how you know the story’s over, Logan.
Me: (nodding) Of course.

The End

YASYCTAI: Learn that irrespective (of) and regardless are words; irregardless is not. (0 mins/0 pts – cm’on, you should know this already)