Tag: meeting people in NYC

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personal

A Bohemian Biergarten Bday

I joke that this is how most people react when I arrive places.

Great skin

The thing about Scenic Fights is that I actually like alla the people involved in its production.

And there are a lotta people involved in it; I think you’d be surprised if you actually saw the entire crew. I suppose that’s why it looks so polished.

In any case, Tom is the main cameraman and he turned 30 this past weekend so, after the gym one night, I went to Astoria to the oldest biergarten in New York to celebrate.

The last one I’d gone to was with my college friends but I actually came to this one with other friends from my gym a while back. This time, I went with my friend, Katrina, from my current gym.

Me: (at the gym) Wait, what on earth is in your bag, lady?!
Her: Broccoli. What?! I needed to get groceries.
Me: OK, you’ll need to stay 10 feet behind me at all times.
Her: Are you serious?
Me: Kinda.

The train took forever to get there so we just chatted. One thing I learned about her is that she has 200,597 unread emails.

Me: How is that even possible?
Her: Well, a lot of them are junk mail and…
Me: (interrupting) Jesus Christ, I don’t even know where to start. First of all…

Getting back to her groceries, once we got to the joint, the guy at the door wouldn’t let us in.

Him: No outside food.
Me: It’s groceries, man.
Him: No outside food.
Me: It’s raw broccoli! Trust me, we’re not gonna be whipping this out to eat in a bar.

He was grumpy but ultimately let us in.

I would totally whip that out and eat it in a bar.

Immediately bumped into Tom’s best friend, who works for Scenic Fights as well, as soon as I walked in.

Me: Which group is ours?
Him: This whole section is ours; all of these tables are for Tom.
Me: Whoa, we own this joint.

I was starving so the first order of business was buying some fries and a kielbasa plus drinks for me and Katrina.

In terms of just the food, this is what $19 will buy you in NYC.

For serious.

For some reason, I was in the mood for a cranberry vodka but she wanted the hard seltzer.

Me: Can I try that?
Her: Sure.
Me: Oh, that’s pretty good. I’ll have that later.

After we had gotten some food into us, we started to relax and socialize.

Tom’s super tall so I always joke for him to not be taller than me. He obliged, as the good friend he is.

Him: Honestly, there are a lot of drawbacks to being tall.
Me: Oh, yes, tell the old, short Chinese man how awful it is to be 30, white, and tall in America.

Also met his girlfriend and another buddy’s wife. After a while, they started offering to set me up with their friends, which I found both funny and flattering.

Girl1: What about her? (shows me her phone)
Me: Super cute. How old is she?
Girl1: 27.
Me: Oh, man…
Girl2: Wait, here’s my best friend. You’d love her.
Me: Also super cute. How old is she?
Girl3: Younger! 26.
Me: Wait, [that’s the wrong direction] how old do you think I am?
Girl2: I dunno. 33?!
Me: (to friend) MARRY THIS GIRL! (to her) You are my favourite person at this table. The rest of you can go pound sand.

Tom’s girlfriend and another girl took my phone because they wanted to give me suggestions on my dating profile.

Me: Anything you don’t like?
Her: Honestly, that’s a really good profile and good picture choices. And you’re lawyer? I thought you were a martial arts teacher.
Me: Ivy-league educated lawyer. And you should see me cook, lady.

Tom sat at another table with some other people, and motioned me over.

Him: Come meet some of your fans, Logan.
Me: Wait, my mom’s here?

The people at the table also thought I was about 33 and when I told them how old I was, two women immediately asked me what my skin care regime was.

Me: I dunno. I stay outta the sun and eat mostly protein, fat, and fiber.
Her: You don’t moisturize?
Me: No. I’m a dude.

Now that I think about it, women that find out my age generally ask me my skin care regime. I should have a better answer.

In any case, Katrina and I stayed out pretty late. There’s a funny(ish) silent dance party video I need to dig up to show you.

Now, I have an app that tells me when the next train is and it turned out that that one was coming in 5 mins and the next one was gonna be 23 minutes later so we made a mad dash for the station.

Me: (running, then stopping) Dammit, I dropped your broccoli. Again, who buys…
Her: (running) NOT NOW, LOGAN! LET’S GO!

It was a fun night and nice group of people. But the kid’s back soon, so I’ll be back to daddy duty this week.

Which is fine, cause I miss him like crazy.

Location: Penn Station, yesterday, off to go get my treasure
Mood: happy
Music: I’m starting to forget all of the ridges of your spine (Spotify)
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personal

Two Pizza Joints, an Indian Restaurant, and a Park – Pt 2

The Girl Before Alison

Used to take the PATH all the time to see the ex before Alison.

You know, I started this blog 16 years ago because of that ex. How silly it all seems now.

After all these years, I never gave her a name so let’s call her the Girl Before Alison.

Anywho, I used to go to the GBA’s house alla time. Like every weekend, she’d head over to mine or I’d head over to hers. For years.

But walking up the stairs out of the Jersey City Grove Street Station, I didn’t remember a single time I did it to see her. Not a one.

Then again, I didn’t remember heading there in 2013 with Alison and I desperately wished I did.

This time around, I walked down the streets to meet up with Blond Banker, marveling at all the buildings but remembering none of them.

It’s like I peeked into someone else’s life, not my own.

Arriving at Barcade, I saw Blond Banker and immediately started chatting with her and some other people there.

Woman there: Here’s a [blank] name tag for you to write your name.
Me: Do I have to put my real name?
Her: …no?

Two women I met that night both lived within two blocks of my pad on the UWS; one lived some 300 feet from my pad.

Me: NO WAY!
Her: I’m serious. I used to live XXX.
Me: Wait, next door is where I took kali for 17 years.
Her: Really!?

Everyone was very nice but I was too in my head. After a while, Blond Banker and I were hungry so we decided to get something to eat.

We were headed to a Thai joint when she asked if I wanted to eat at the rooftop bar at Porta so in we went.

Honestly, while John’s of Times Square is cool, Porta was gorgeous and looked better than John’s. That’s something.

We ordered a plate of meatballs…

…and a pizza.

Her: You’ve never had an arugula pizza?
Me: They just put a salad on top of a pizza? (shrugging) Actually, it’s fine. I’ll eat it.

It ended up being pretty good. She only had a slice or so and half a meatball so I ate almost everything and was still hungry afterward. Of course.

We chatted about life in general and dating in the city.

Me: Honestly, as an attractive blond woman, I feel you could have your pick of men.
Her: (rolls eyes) I hate the apps.

There’s more but I’m trying to keep things to my story alone, where possible.

She called an Uber after a bit and  we sat on a bench looking at yet another pizza restaurant and chatting while we waited.

It was late when she hopped into the car to head home.

I was right at the entrance for the Grove street station to head back to my world when something compelled me to walk down the street I used to walk with the GBA.

Y’know…I don’t remember what the GBA looks like anymore. I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of her in well over a decade. I do remember her voice though.

I’d been drinking so it was a bit like sleepwalking, but I started walking down Grove Street past the station and found myself in 2002 again; two decades ago, when I was a much younger man

I wasn’t yet the story that people whisper to each other, “Oh, did you hear about what happened to Logan?!”

But I’ll tell you about that tomorrow because this is getting long again.

Location: last night, Astoria, celebrating a buddy’s 30th birthday at a beirgarten until late
Mood: so tired
Music: I wish I could hit rewind (Spotify)
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Two Pizza Joints, an Indian Restaurant, and a Park – Pt 1

Simple things of kindness

Recently, my past came to visit me and I went to visit my past.

Regarding the former, my buddy Ed came into town with his kid the other day. His son’s heading off to NYU this fall as a freshman.

I met him here via my then-girlfriend, the Doctor. He actually ended up living in my building for a spell, which was maybe 20 years ago?

It’s funny, we used to hang out alla time, but we lost touch after he moved back to Cali. My life is a series of endless venn diagrams.

It was such a kick-in-the-head to see him here with his almost-adult son.

Brought them to John’s Pizzeria at Times Square so they could (a) check it out since it’s in an old cathedral and (b) they wanted really good, authentic NYC pizza, which this definitely was.

The last time I went, it was October of 2017 with Gradgirl. She said it was an awful date – it might have been one of our first – and she wasn’t wrong.

Didn’t tell you about that because I was such a mess back then. Not that I’m not still starkers now.

Do think that, if circumstances were different, she and I might have had something. Maybe even a fatty of our own right now.

Fucking cancer is the awful gift that keeps on giving.

On a related note, it’s funny, for a long time, I divided up my life by the women I seriously dated/cared for.

Everything’s been such a mess since…you know…

Everything and everyone just blends together into a soupy, grey, mess.

Anywho, it was nice seeing Ed and his kid. I joked that, despite us being roughly the same age, I had a second-grader while he had a freshman in college.

Me: Give me a buzz if you need anything. I’ve been here my whole life and I’ll probably die here too.
Him: For sure, thanks! (later) Anyplace else we should head to?
Me: (thinking) Go to Hudson Yards. I always loved that place.

As for the latter, and on the topic of ex-girlfriends and my past, that’s a much longer story.

Essentially, I tried to visit an old version of myself but it didn’t pan out – at all – like I’d hoped. Lemme explain:

It all started when I hit up Blond Banker to see if she wanted to catch a show (totally as friends).

She countered with an invite to go to a mixer with some co-workers of hers for a project that she was volunteering for – out in Jersey City.

Her: I’m going to Barcade tonight. You can come to that if you want
Me: Hmm, ok, I’m down! Any particular dress code or just don’t be a schlub?
Her: Just how you’d dress for Barcade.

Since she wasn’t planning on getting there until after 6:30, I slipped into kali for 45 minutes before I hopped the PATH across the river.

On the way there, I sat down next to this one hulking dude and he turned to me and said, That’s a cool tee-shirt, man.

I got two more compliments before I arrived in Jersey City and one more when I was at the bar.

Man, simple things of kindness really make your day, don’t they?

Me: Get home safe, man!
Him: (smiling broadly) Oh, you too!

The last time I went to Grove Street in Jersey City, was May 5th, 2013 – Cinco de Mayo – almost a decade ago.

Alison and I went there for a chili cookoff and we met up with a couple from my old gym. Don’t think I ever saw them again.

Venn diagrams, like I said.

This was almost a decade ago in 2013. I have pictures of alla these randos but not of Alison.

It hurts because I keep thinking, if Alison was alive, I could ask her questions like what did we wear and what was that game we played?

Do you know how many pictures I have of her that day? Zero. Zero fucking pictures, because she didn’t like being photographed.

Sigh.

I’ll pick this up tomorrow. Suddenly got super tired.

Location: tonight, having my arm relentlessly attacked in kali
Mood: thoughtful
Music: God knows it’s not supposed to be easy (Spotify)
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business personal

So, what’s your deal here, anyway?

My rusty gears

My son was in his day camp the other day, trying to squeeze between a pipe and a column. He ended up getting wedged between the two when his leg went through the wall.

Evidently, he was hysterically crying and they couldn’t extricate his leg so they had to call the super to cut the drywall around his leg. That made him even more upset because he started telling them he didn’t want them to cut his leg off.

Ultimately, they cut him out and he was fine.

The end.

Her: So…what’s your deal here, anyway?
Me: (shrugging) Brilliant but lazy lawyer. I show up when there’s food to be eaten or pictures to be taken.

I’ve not been regularly practicing the law in over five years. I stopped after Alison lost the third baby figuring I’d come back when things got better. You know how that turned out.

Was just trying to save my family so billing hours, giving lectures, and writing memos seemed…silly.

All the more so when I failed in saving my family.

But, through it all, my boss would send me a random legal question or just simply straight-up check in on me. When we did chat, I could feel the rusty gears of my legal brain start to move again.

Him: Do you still remember it?
Me: Yes. It’s somewhere in my head. I just have to wake it up.

A new legal assistant at the firm wrote me asking me to schedule myself for updated firm pictures.

Gotta say, getting the email was touching. It’s funny being valued for something when you question your value all the time.

In any case, I went and was greeted by all these new and old faces.

Regarding the former, the new lawyers in the firm were curious about me because I suppose they never really discussed me.

Why would they? I’m a depressing story.

Her: Wait, how are you semi-retired?! How old are you?
Me: Ah, we’re playing the game. You have to guess.
Her: 33?
Me: (laughing) Well, that’s encouraging.

Afterward, my boss brought me and another attorney out to eat at Benjamin Steakhouse Prime, where I had an Old Fashioned and some food.

Me: …for example, in the Simpsons, there’s a product called Duff Beer. In Australia, someone produced an actual line of Duff Beer. What does the property holder have as an action? It’s not copyright, as it’s not possible to copyright two words. It’s not trademark because there’s no real-world product related to it by the Simpons’ owners. It’s not trade dress, not trade secrets, not patent. That leaves licensing. So, the legal question is: Does an IP holder have a cause of action for licensing when no previous licensing matter existed. Last I looked, the answer was no.
Him: (grinning and turning to the other attorney) One drink and the old Logan returns with ideas. Go on.
Me: Well, regarding the search for Alex Jones’s phone, there’s a legal question if a cell phone should be thought of as…

I felt the most like my old self than I had in a while. It was as if the last six years went away.

Like I always say, thank goodness for the good souls.

I also saw my mother-in-law the other day with the kid for a quick visit and return.

She made us some strip steak…

…amongst other things.

Thank goodness for the good souls bearing steak and drinks.

Location: earlier today, having a burger with my favourite little human in Union Square
Mood: happy
Music: Lately I’ve been thinking about things I shouldn’t (Spotify)
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Hook me up!

Circle

Like I said, people are always trying to fix me up with someone. I usually agree just to be polite and, besides, you never know.

Maybe I’ll be set up with Mary Jane Watson, who Peter kept avoiding for months. This is what MJ said when they finally met:

A mom from my kid’s class has been running me through all her friends because she’s just a sweetheart.

And, because I figure, compared to what’s out there, I’m a catch – the bar’s pretty low, lemme tell ya.

She actually got me in touch with a producer from NBC for a segment called, Hoda and Jenna: Hook me Up!

I had a nice talk with the producer but I decided it wasn’t for me. I did tell them to keep me in mind for anything in the future.

Anywho, the segment I woulda been on ran today.

The woman, Michelle, seems like a nice lady, just not my type, so it’s good I said no.

I’ll let you know if I show up on it ever.

Speaking of dating, the Counselor gone but the Acrobat’s still (kinda) around. It’s all complex.

It’s a shame because the Counselor was cool, pretty, and smart as a whip.

On the flip side, I’ve been chatting with this one woman who seems lovely but super lonely.

Her: I don’t know. I just never connected with anyone. Not anyone worth connecting with, I guess.
Me: I get that.

I’m always surprised at just how many lonely people there are in the world.

In some ways, I feel a little lucky that I didn’t have friends growing up because it’s kinda like that old Edie Brickell song that goes:

Being alone is the
Is the best way to be
When I’m by myself
It’s the best way to be
When I’m all alone
It’s the best way to be
When I’m by myself
Nobody else can say goodbye

Legit. I believe that.

An old friend of mine just completely disappeared. Like Will Hunting at the end of Good Will Hunting.

Except I doubt it was to see about a girl.

And I’m a bit jealous. Part of me wants to do that.

Maybe someday.

Location: earlier today, being shown a broken wall where my son had to be cut out of on the Upper West Side. He was fine.
Mood: pensive
Music: I quit. I give up (Spotify)
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Movie Premier Pt 2: Jang Hyuk’s The Killer

Assassins next door

Because I knew that I was going to the film’s East Coast premier, I’d not seen the film before, so I was looking forward to it.

The last time I was in a movie theatre seems like a lifetime ago. I think it was Battle Angel Alita or Avengers: Endgame, both in 2019.

The Killer was part of the 20th Anniversary New York Asian Film Festival, that ran from July 15-31, 2022.

I vaguely remember going to another such festival years ago.

Anywho, like I said in my last entry, I sat next to the owner of Midnight Pulp, where we chatted about life and our families.

That’s all I’ll say there. Nice fella.

The movie itself was quite cool, although I do wonder how many more of the assassin-next-door types of films are possible.

This was an interesting take on the genre because it revolved around the idea of family and protecting family.

That was what stuck with me, anywho.

Afterwards, there was a brief discussion of the film and some question-and-answer.

It was pretty packed and I was beat – and pretty lit – so I just wanted to head back.

Midway off the block, though, Joong hit me up.

Him: Hi Logan, still around? We can get a photo for you with Jang Hyuk.

So, I high-tailed it back where I met up with him and the StruggleNation peeps again.

I chatted with Jang Hyuk for a bit, by way of Joong. Very cool and down to earth guy, actually.

We, briefly, discussed martial arts and violence in general. Surprisingly, his background was JKD and not kali, per se.

Chatted with a few more people before I made it out the door and took a long walk home.

I’ve been super social lately and it’s been tiring and, oddly, very sad.

But I suppose that’s another discussion for another time.

Location: yesterday, searching for a lottery place with the kid and getting caught in the rain.
Mood: sad
Music: I get carried away, carried away, from you (Spotify)
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Movie Premier Pt 1: Jang Hyuk’s The Killer

No dental

The East Coast premier of Jang Hyuk’s latest flick, The Killer: A Girl Who Deserves to Die, was in my neighborhood, just a block from my old law school.

Him: Can you make it?
Me: It’s technically walking distance from me so how could I not?

Since it was at Lincoln Center, I was thinking of inviting French Dancer or Acrobat – who are both super artsy – but I decided against it.

The last time I invited someone to a special event, it left such a bad taste in my mouth that I pretty much solo these types of things.

Shame, though. It was definitely a cool event.

Started off with a top-shelf open bar at Lincoln Ristorante.

Me: Can I get the Pyrat aged rum in a low-ball with a thick slice of orange.
Bartender: Of course!

Sweeeeeeet – it’s rare that a bar carries one of my preferred aged rums. So, the night was off to a good start.

The fella coordinating the night’s event was a guy named Joong;

Me: Oh, thanks for inviting us.
Him: No problem – actually, I’ve been a fan of Scenic Fights since you guys first came out.
Me: Get outta town!

I actually met a ton of people that said they’d seen our work. Who knows if that’s true but hope springs eternal.

He ended up introducing me to the fellas that run StruggleNation, who were also fans.

Him: Wait, you’re Logan from Scenic Fights?
Me: (laughing) Yeah. I look different when I’m wearing my lawyer clothes.
Him: You’re a lawyer?!
Me: That’s what the piece of paper on my wall says. But, to be fair, I printed it myself on a inkjet printer.

I was also introduced to the film’s distributor, his wife, and the CEO of Midnight Pulp, who ended up sitting next to me at the movie itself.

Oddly, we spent most the time talking about our kids and family.

Me: How do I know if I’m doing a good job?
Her: The fact that you question if you’re doing a good job at all, probably means you’re doing better than most.

Although it did veer off into unexpected territory.

Another Woman: I actually see you being someone like that. You could be an assassin, and no one would know.
Me: Sure, but you gotta figure there’s no dental and the hours are probably awful.
Her: (laughs) Benefits are important.
Me: Don’t I know it, lady.

After a spell, we all made our way to the theater to catch the film. Joong and his girlfriend had seen it before. Multiple times.

Her: This is actually the fourth time we’re seeing it.
Me: No kidding?
Him: Yup. Part of the job. But you’ll like it.

And he was right.

I’ll tell you about the rest tomorrow or something. I’ve been stuck in the basement of my brain for a bit.

Here’s some of the film with the Scenic Fights fellas and me.

Location: surrounded by papers, wondering where to start
Mood: remorseful
Music: Oh, don’t you put me on the back burner (Spotify)
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personal

Sending unsolicited duck pics

Don’t it always seem…?

My insomnia has been back with a vengeance these days.

The boy’s been away for three weeks now but, because he’s coming back soon, I met up with who I could while he was away.

On that note, I went to my office for the first time in a while. A lotta new (young) faces.

We went to the Campbell and I had some drinks with my boss before I struck up conversation with a pair of blue eyes.

I meet people every day but, just like years ago, meeting people is never the issue. It’s connecting with people of my tribe that’s the hard part.

Friend: What’s the problem? Meet someone, stick it in. It’s not rocket science.
Me: (dryly) Glad to see romance isn’t dead in 2022.

We had another Scenic Fight shoot this past weekend. It was mostly Chad and Pac because my knee’s been so jacked.

But I was busy dealing with legal issues for them, so I’ve been busy enough as it is.

My shoot was only about 2.5 hours; those guys were there from early morning to late night.

But I was running on fumes anywho, what with my knee and lack of sleep.

Pac wanted to eat, drink, and talk, though. Everyone’s got their own demons to fight.

We went to my favourite dive bar around the way. Alla the food joints near me were closed so we ordered DoorDash to bring over Korean wings.

Me: $72 for wings? That’s insane.
Him: (shrugging) Dude, I’m tired and lazy. I’m doing it.
Me: Fiiiiine…

I got a lotta ducks shirts – either ones people buy me or I buy myself – because of my tendency to send women unsolicited duck pics.

Dunno what the big deal is, frankly. Ducks are so damn cute.

Anywho, I was wearing once such shirt at this bar and the bartender and I were chatting for a bit when he says, “Hold on…” and hands me this little rubber ducky that matched my shirt perfectly.

Him: (laughing) It matches your shirt!
Me: My kid’s gonna love this, thanks!

Found it far more amusing than Pac did.

Anywho, he filled me in on his life and filled me in on some data I was missing with other things.

Him: I wanted to know your point of view.
Me: That was interesting. But, not at all, how I saw it. Here’s how I saw it…

That’s the thing with life, there’s my side, the other side, and the truth.

And that’s always the case, irrespective of what we believe.

Man, don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone?

Location: earlier tonight, 16th Street, wondering if he was gonna take out a gun and shoot
Mood: mopey
Music: Why do you want me? (Spotify)
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personal

The Poster Child for Lame

D-List celebrity

After two days of being unexpectedly social, I was planning to stay home to drink my sorrows away alone in my pad when NC rang me up and up invited me to go out drinking with her and her friends.

Her: I’m going to Astoria tonight with Robyn and a few friends, if you want to join us!
Me: If it’s casual, I’m in.

I remembered my old rule of never turning down an invitation.

When I only know one or two people there, all the more so because it forces me to get outta my head and be chatty.

And that’s how I found myself in Queens in the middle of night having drinks with NC, Robyn, and their friends until past midnight.

Me: It’s been a strange and sad few years, Robyn.
Her: I know. I read your blog. I know about your wife. I’m sorry.
Me: (nodding) Yeah, me too.

NC and Robyn both said they’d stop by the gym, which is sweet. The gym could use a few more cool, tough chicks.

Saturday, I was determined to stay home. My therapist said that I had a tendency to ignore painful things and busy myself so as not to deal with things.

But, I decided to hit up the gym first which ended up being a bad idea because that knee injury got worse.

Afterward, I got coffee with another friend, who I just found out is an expert fencer.

She and I were in the middle of chatting about weapons fighting when the fella sitting next to us started talking to me.

Him: I don’t mean to eavesdrop but do you shoot short videos about fighting?
Me: Yes! Scenic Fights?
Him: I’m a subscriber!

It’s, honestly, super wild to me that people recognize me from it as often as they do.

Felt compelled to stay home for the rest of the weekend but then I got a call from someone inviting me the beach.

Her: Come out! Don’t be lame.
Me: Have you met me? I’m the poster child for lame.
Her: You should swing by.
Me: (laughing) One doesn’t just swing by the southern tip of Brooklyn.
Her: People do it all the time, Logan.

Later on that week, I went to see PT Steve at his PT shop to get my knee checked out.

Me: Well?
Him: You tore your meniscus. But it doesn’t seem all that bad. Just do the exercises you did before and rest.

Sounds pretty on-brand for me.

In any case, when I don’t wanna be social, I end up being way more social than I expect. When I wanna be social, it’s crickets.

Honestly, though, I need to rest up because we have another Scenic Fights shoot happening this Sunday.

Pac and I were going over our notes, plus trying to figure out how to get to an opening night movie showing that we all got invited to the following week.

It’s weird being a D-list celebrity. All I ever wanted to be known for is writing and being a good husband and father. If wishes were horses…

Me: We should be fine, three good-looking fellas like ourselves…
Him: (interrupting) Well, two of us are good looking.
Me: You rat bastard…

Location: earlier tonight, 14th Street, wondering if I should call.
Mood: pensive
Music: Surrounded by many alone in this crowd (Spotify)
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Ruining my own weekend plans

Wanting things to be different

I’ve not spent the 4th of July with anyone in years.

Alison spent most 4th of Julys with her extended family. Mouse did the same but not even extended family, just immediate family.

And for this 4th and the past one, the boy’s been away.

This year, I wanted it to be different. To this end, I made alla these plans with a pair of pretty hazel eyes except, a few days beforehand, she asked me a question I couldn’t answer.

Her: I wonder if you can make room for someone in your life right now?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: You seem set in your ways.
Me: I think that, for the right person, I could find room.
Her: Yeah. For the right person.

And it made me realize a lotta things – not just about her and me – but about some questions that has been rattling around my head for a while now.

I finally understood what someone was trying to tell me for years. But, I suppose, that’s another entry entirely.

In any case, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. In the morning, I woke up and promptly ruined all of my weekend plans and hurt my own heart.

Still, it was – honestly – the most adult breakup I’ve ever had in my entire life.

Me: … I wanted to be upfront with you about everything.
Her: And I appreciate you being honest with me about all that. All that being the case, I think it’s probably best to just take a bit of a step back from this.

And that was that.

I was gonna just spend the weekend at home drinking but life had other plans for me.

To start with, that night, a female friend invited me to see a concert and then we sat on my stoop afterward to have some wine, something I hadn’t done in decades.

Somehow, we got onto the topic of our respective dating lives and god.

Her: The real spiritual path is a higher calling to true redemption.
Me: OK. I’m vomiting in my mouth right now.
Her: Oh man, you have so many issues.
Me: Refusing to have sex or hating God?
Her: Both.

The next day, I was supposed to go with the Counselor to see Isabel the Singer but things fell through there as well for a whole host of reasons.

Mouse was at the gym and I was tempted to ask her if she wanted to come but that always ends in a gun fight so I decided against it and just went by myself.

It ended up being pretty cool.

Isabel: Thanks so much for coming!
Me: It was great, thanks for having me.

On the way home, way later than normal, got a call from the Acrobat but I’ll keep that part to myself.

The next day – and totally outta the blue – a girl named NC that I’ve not really chatted with in close to a decade hit me up to chat.

After a spell, I invited her to come by Paxibellum because we actually met at my old gym years ago.

Me: Come by my gym and roll!
Her: I can come by on Friday!

She did and we had a pretty fun time. She said she’d try to come by again.

She’s trying to figure out things in her own life as well.

Man, aren’t we all?

Was actually supposed to get dinner with some friends in Chinatown with some other friends I’d not seen since before COVID but that fell through as well.

In truth, that was fine by me. My week was already a lot more social than I wanted after everything went down.

Figured that I’d spend the rest of the weekend alone at home, but life had other plans for me, which I suppose I’ll tell you about later as well.

Location: earlier tonight, the Campbell, thinking of my possible pasts – and possible future
Mood: conflicted
Music: tell me that you miss me – baby, get your ass home (Spotify)
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