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business dating personal

Love is… or Why you should be dating online

Online dating versus offline or regular dating

Statue in Tribeca NYC

Went out the other night with my buddy to some local watering holes – the first time in a while. We’re having a mild disagreement about online dating.

The way I look at it, it’s like having a relative named, for example, Aunt eMatch that says, “I’ve got a girl I think you might like.” In fact, it’s better; it’s like Aunt eMatch saying, “I’ve got a girl I think you might like – and here’s her resume, a buncha pics, and a writing sample.”

My buddy says that interpersonal vetting’s the best way to meet someone; can’t disagree with that BUT he also feels that’s why online dating seems to fail – because of the lack of connection, meaning a common friend. But the connection isn’t a person, rather, the stuff you’ve got in common.

When you’re a kid, you think love’s looking at someone and going, You’re so awesome, and she looks back at you and says the same thing. Adults are different.

Adults don’t stand facing one another but side-by-side. It’s why I always say that you want someone on your side.

That, in turn, is from that French dude that wrote The Little Prince: Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction, which translates to To love is not to look at one another: it is to look, together, in the same direction.

Love’s when you’re both looking at stuff y’love – like a Firefly episode you love, how you want to raise your kids, or your plant Harold -and you go, Do you see what I see? and she goes, Man, I *totally* see what you see.

That’s love. How you get it – online/offline – depends on how life puts it in front of you, but it’s always the same thing.

 

Location: going to New Rochelle
Mood: insanely busy
Music: look into their eyes, and you suddenly know
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Uncategorized

Yoked together with unbelievers

Church downtown NYC

Having a conflict of religion.

There’s this line in the bible that goes, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”

Many read that to mean Christians should only marry other Christians. Here’s my issue with that – if that were the case, I’d not be here as one parent is a Christian and one is not.

But the line actually reads, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” – don’t think my parents were ever unequals – and wasn’t referring to marriage.

The issue’s that the bible’s fulla things I agree and disagree with, consider that women are not permitted to speak in church, and this is from the same guy that wrote about the previous statement.

Am accused of cherry picking the verses in the bible to obey, but isn’t that what we all do? For example, the Koran specifically says Muslims should grant safe-passage to anyone that requests it. And yet the radicals ignore that line for one that suits their purposes.

Stand, once again, accused of being a bad Christian but, to paraphrase someone, an ant on a hilltop is no closer to the sun than an ant on the ground.

The lack of grace never ceases to surprise me.

HG does not read the same book as me. This is not a (huge) issue for me but some people feel it should be.

  • Republicans don’t want me cause I’m too liberal and think Palin and O’Donnell are idiots
  • Democrats don’t want me cause I’m too conservative and don’t think a nanny state is what we need.
  • Christians don’t want me cause evidently womanizing and rum shooting aren’t approved activities.
  • Atheists/agnostics don’t want me cause I’m one of those religious nuts.

We’re always looking for home, hoping someone says, “Cm’on in,” instead of shutting the door in our face.

Disappointed. No one ever sees the invisible man.

Location: the world
Mood: disappointed
Music: here I am but why do I feel like the invisible man?
YASYCTAI: Be gracious. (always/2 pts)
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business personal

Eat what you kill

Gated Apartment downtown NYC

Been all sortsa busy these days.

My biggest client that went away just came back with a staggering amount of work for me to do. The only issue’s that everything’s due in three weeks. But when your life is eat what you kill, y’gotta hustle when y’can.

It’s funny but the last time I wrote about taking every gig that comes in was almost exactly a year ago.  October-December’s usually my busiest time of year so the hustle begins again.

So early last Friday, was down in the West Village at places where handbags cost more than my mortgage. Came back that night and needed to unwind so I cooked up some Greek Kotopoulo Skorthato. It reminds me of my childhood cause I grew up with a lotta Greeks.

Usually my year begins in September but this year, Fall came late. Feels like the year – and everything else – is starting again.

Speakinga which, just found out that my 20 year high school reunion just happened. 20 years.

Didn’t know anyone there really, and I had all of that work, so never bothered going. Being a nobody in high school’s fine, I think. Being a nobody 20 years later’d be a lot worse.

There was this girl named Grace that made my life a living hell when I was a kid. Found out later, her family life was pretty bad. When I heard Plato’s saying, Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, I thought of her.

Wonder if she ever found any peace or just continued to be hard and mean.

As for me, well, I got my pad. I got my people. I got my poison. Got everything I wanted.

Also got deadlines so catch you Wednesday?

Gated Apartment downtown NYC

Location: Brooklyn
Mood: busy
Music: You got your time to find your voice
YASYCTAI: Get it while the getting’s good. (time/1 pt)
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personal

Hospitals

Fear is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday

Logan Lo at the hospital - again
Her: Thanks for staying.
Me: (laughing) Where else was I going to go?

 

Not sure one could say I’ve bad luck – got a roof over my head, running water and all my family and body parts. Can’t really say I’ve good luck either.

Suppose you might call what I’ve got peculiar luck.

The kind where you spend a dollar to win a dollar.

Bout two weeks ago, found out that there was about a week’s gap between my old heath insurance and my new one. Joked to my boss that I’d try to stay outta the emergency room.

Next morning, bright and early, hear a slam and “Oh no.” Turns out HG smashed her fingers in the metal door. Blood everywhere. Everywhere. Next thing you know, in the emergency room. For hours.

Been to the emergency room four times in the past five years. But was fine each time.

Kinda the story of my life, yeah?

This chick named Renata Adler said that, Fear is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday.

Try to tell myself to hold on until storms pass, wait for the joy. In the meanwhile, insurance’s back.

Off to fencing. People swinging sharp metal objects around.

What could go wrong?

———-

Met up with the fellas last night for beer and $0.10 wings. 60 wings for $6. Gotta love NYC.

On the way back, helped this pretty German tourist get to Columbus Circle.

NYC’s quite the town.

Location: not the hospital
Mood: still fulla wings
Music: Schön ist es auf der Welt zu sein

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personal

Tragedies fulla joy

The Empire State Building

 

There really isn’t a happily ever after, you know? Children believe that. Adults believe what this fella Bernard Malamud said – that Life is a tragedy full of joy.

You hold on past the tragedy for the next wave of joy. And be grateful for the joy.

———-

Speaking of children, do you remember the old Aesop’s fable about the mouse and the lion?

Today’s Mother Teresa’s bday. A few months back here in NYC, there was a controversy cause the owners of the Empire State Building refused to light their building blue and white for her birthday, which made some of the local government – the city council – upset.

After all, they did change the colours for the Simpsons and Popeye, why not a woman who gave her life helping the less lucky, yeah?

Fast forward to this week when the owners needed help from – you guessed it – the city council to block a new rival building from competing with it two blocks away. The vote was 47-to-1 allowing the building to go up.

See what happens when you don’t pay attention in grade school?

Location: yesterday, the hospital (long story)
Mood: creative
Music: i’ll wear your colors til you come back home to me

Categories
dating personal

Iron intelligence

As Iron Sharpens Iron

Small leak in my ceiling

Me: (discussing the triathlon) If there’s a competition in three parts where the first part is solving a computer problem, the second part is fencing, and the third part is cooking, I’d totally rock that.
Her: (laughing) You would totally rock that.

With the exception of maybe Jaerik, don’t think mosta you read when I wrote my favourite quote in the world from this dude named Schopenhauer that goes, With increased intelligence, comes increased capacity for pain.

Him: She left. Think I need to be by myself for a bit.
Me: Sorry to hear that, man. But I think that that’s not the way to do it – get out there and date.
Him: I don’t wanna get back out there.
Me: You gotta. Interacting with a buncha new people’s the best way to learn about yourself – as iron sharpens iron so does one person sharpen another. Plus it’s self-correcting: Say you do it for six months. In six months, let’s say you finally meet a great girl. You’re golden. Say your ex comes back. After six months of dating other women, you’ve learned that much more about yourself. You’re golden. Let’s say neither after six months. You’re still out there getting better and meeting women. So you’re still golden.
Him: I shouldn’t have lied to her.
Me: No, you shouldn’t have. But you did. And you can’t plead, argue, logic or beg someone to care. All you can do it take the pain and deal with it. Leave her alone – she’ll either come back or won’t. Either way, handle yourself first.

Speakinga Jaerik – since it’s now public knowledge – congrats for your company selling Islandlife.

The offer for manservant’s still open.

In other news, got a small leak in my kitchen ceiling.

Location: Still sweating at my pad
Mood: Still hot
Music: One fine day You’re gonna want me (Spotify)

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personal

My 4th Weekend, 2010

Location: getting ready to go to a meeting on the east side
Mood: busy
Music: Don’t know where to start or when to stop

Looking west in Manhattan towards the setting sun

Kinda obvious, that we’re all the same with our god-given rights.
The right to inhale and exhale.
The right to live how we wanna.
The right to be happy.

———-

Spent mosta the weekend covered in paint. Painted all the cabinets in my kitchen. Been meaning to do that for the past decade or so but never got around to it.

It’s crazy how fast time passes. Hadta wake up at 6AM Friday and Saturday to do it all. Afterward, met up with my coach and some fellas to catch the UFC 116 at a local bar.

Him: How long have you two known each other?
Me: A long time – he spent 9/11 at my apartment.
Coach: Yeah, it’s been a while.

———-

My brother came into town for the weekend. As I stumbled outta the bar, he texted me that he was nearby so I met up with him at a local pizza joint – of course.

The next morning…

Me: What do you want for breakfast?
Him: Wanna order a pizza?
Me: Works for me.
Him: (later) I think the delivery guy dropped our pizza or something – all the cheese and toppings’re on one slice.
Me: Can I have that slice?

———-

After touching up the cabinets, spent the fourth in bed, hiding from the heat. Watched Outsourced before we passed out. Woke and drove out to see the folks on Monday. Was hot but not brutally so. And the empty streets made it a nice drive.

Her: I’ve decided that we should always stay in the city over holidays where people go away. (later) Did you shave?
Me: No.
Her: Yes you did, I can tell.
Me: Then why did you ask?

It’s not that we don’t like people. We just don’t like people all up in our grill 24/7.

———-

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,
Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

YASYCTAI: If you live here in the US, be a little grateful. There are some scary places out there. (10 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Started the Ascent

Location: Black chair
Mood: accomplished
Music: ticket in my hand and thinking wish I didn’t hand it in

Men climbing the Ansonia Hotel

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
– Calvin Coolidge

My thesis was accepted.

Am now one of about 7,430 licensed blah-blah-blahs in the whole world; 341 342 in the great State of NY.

Need a new mountain to climb.

Luckily, I’ve already started the ascent.

Men climbing the Ansonia Hotel

YASYCTAI: Manuscript; you know the deal – three pages a day. Day-in; day-out. (100 days/3 pts)

Categories
personal

Totally Should

Central Park in spring

Her: I’m too tired to work out. (pause) Tell me I’m fat, maybe that’ll get me to go out and run.
Me: Sheyeah right – that’s the adult equivalent of, “Hey, pull my finger.”

Back when my insomnia was raging hardcore, was reading about a book a week. Lately, been reading about one every 2-3 weeks. One of the books I read on vacation was Free, which had this interesting Tim O’Reilly quote I’ve always subscribed to:

[T]he enemy of the author is not piracy, but obscurity.

Her: So will you keep writing your blog? I’m just asking because I’m curious.
Me: Not sure. The whole point was to make a blog was to send out some stories I’ve written. Should get going on that.

I totally should.

———-

Saw Date Night for a date night. Quite good, actually. Had no less than two people commenting that they were concerned that all the funniest bits were already shown on TV in the previews – like that last Adam Sandler flick.

Luckily, no.

Actually, my weekend was quite nice as a whole. Also finally saw The Blind Side. Two great flicks in one weekend. Not a bad way to go.

Location: yest, all over Brooklyn
Mood: ambitious
Music: want to know if the answer’s in my hands

Categories
personal

Braun M&Ms

A good buddy of mine just got married

DUMBO restaurant

Just tried to make some sourdough bread and it barely rose. Damn.

I’ll try again.

———-

Me: Do you wanna move to San Deigo?
Her: I heard it’s boring there.
Me: We’re boring.
Her: This is true.

Still daydreaming about elsewhere again.

Story goes that Van Halen put in all of their contracts that a bowla M&Ms; without a single brown M&M; had to be waiting backstage for them otherwise they’d cancel an entire concert. Sounds like vain diva thing to ask, yeah?

Turns out, it was a shrewd business move, cause their shows’re complex in terms of setup, and each linea their contracts had to be completed so that the show’d go off without a hitch. If they went backstage and there wasn’t a bowl or any brown M&Ms;, they immediately knew that no one read the contract closely.

Like I always say, it’s the little things.

Speakinga little things, dusted off my old German book recently.

Vielleicht ziehen wir nach Deutschland um. Aber sie spricht kein Deutsch (nicht dass ich kann Deutsch). Und ich spreche kein Französisch..

Na, wenigstens haben wir Rum…

———-

It’s April 2010. Gonna be 37 this month. Oh my.

Suppose it’s better than the alternative.

Location: the same old
Mood: daydreaming
Music: dreaming of blue skies, new horizons and sights