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personal

A trip to the Museum and a birthday

Our Global Kitchen exhibit at the Museum of Natural History

Been so busy these days that I forgot to mention that the wife and I went to go see the Our Global Kitchen exhibit at the Museum of Natural History since we’re both becoming a lot more conscious about what we eat.

The museum is right by our pad so we try to go every once in a while. It was a pretty cool exhibit so if you get a chance to go, it’s very eye opening.

If nothing else you’ll learn that corn is our biggest food export, bananas are our biggest food import, and that cod is getting a lot smaller because of over-fishing.

Me: Now I want a banana.

Also went to see my friend COB for her birthday. She’s actually the woman I met in this conversation. This is a good time to point out two things:

  • If you stick by the rule that: Leave people better off having met you then you will get more invitations in life, the occasional email penpal, and some homemade gifts such as the above, which she made for me and my wife.
  • Sometimes people ask me if I make up some of the things I write, like the conversations. I always tell them that I’m not that creative.

Met her fella and a bunch of her friends that day. Nice people – I would have stayed longer but I had a previous engagement. Still, it was good to get out of house for a bit.

Her: That’s the thing about California, you really need a car to get around and I didn’t have one.
Me: Did you consider car-jacking?

Mood: artistic
Music: Liebe ist so wie du bist
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personal

I just need a pair of scissors

If you lost everything, what would be the one thing you need?

Bagpipes

Had a lot of things I wanted to write this week but I found out that an aunt of mine died.

We were never really close, but she was always there since I was a kid. In fact, I learned more about her after she passed than I ever knew while she was living.

For example, she managed people in a garment business for almost 25 years. She was hired to be a seamstress but was so talented that she was immediately promoted to manage all of them, despite speaking almost no English.

She never had much scratch because she was always giving what little she had away to charities; she had just given away several thousand to Hurricane Sandy victims and volunteered for several weeks.

She didn’t worry, though, cause she’d always say that as long as she had a pair of scissors to make clothes, she’d be ok.

That made me think: If I lost everything, if I just had a keyboard, or even a pencil and paper, I’d be ok.

Maybe teach fencing on the side for some extra coin. After all, the limits of our imagination are the limits of our world.

Getting back to her, the last thing I learned was there was no body at the funeral. She donated her body to medical students at Hofstra University and her organs to five families that needed it.

Think that impressed me the most. In her last act, she still managed to help people. We all have our three lives.

Wish I knew all of the above about her when she was alive. But we’re all always so busy aren’t we?

You never can tell about other people. Said it before, we are made in our sleep to be heroes or villains.

She was a nice old lady. Nicer even than I knew. She lived a life worth living and that’s something, isn’t it?

Mood: impressed
Music: there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
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personal

John Fairfax killed a shark too

The limits of our imagination are the limits of our world

Bagpipes

When we meet people, we often describe them by what they do – like The Accountant, or The Schoolteacher.

Suppose it’s because we’re all know by what we do. If that’s the case, then, we can choose what it is we are.

I think that people that meet me in one part of my life are surprised by the other parts. Those that know me as a fencing instructor are probably surprised I’m a lawyer. My real estate clients are probably surprised I write.

The thing is that – I feel – the more someone respects me for being a lawyer, the less they believe I can fence.

There’s something about people that find it impossible to believe that someone can excel at two things. Let alone three, or more.

This fella named John Fairfax once rowed across the Atlantic by himself in two months. Since that was pretty well-documented, no one had a problem believing that he did that.

The problem happened when he said that during his trip, a giant mako shark attacked him so he killed it with a knife.

A reporter with the Miami Herald scoffed at this part of the story, which so pissed Fairfax off that Fairfax rented a boat, poured fish blood into the water, waited for a shark to come, killed that shark, then dragged the shark’s dead body to the steps of the Miami Herald and dumped it there.

The moral of the story is people scoff all of time when they meet someone who does something out of their own view of the world. It’s like that saying I love: A frog in a well knows nothing of the ocean.

My buddy Johnny was the guy that first taught me how to fight – I mean really taught me. He just bought a $19 million building in midtown Manhattan. My wrasslin coach also has an Ivy League Ph.D in Japanese history.

People find it hard to believe things they feel they couldn’t do. Their world is limited by their own beliefs in their own abilities.

In other words, their understanding of the world is limited by their imagination.

It’s hard to constantly stretch our imagination as we get older but I try. It helps having friends that dream too.

With nods to Michel Gondry, I’m not a very good sleeper.

But I dream a lot.

Mood: amused
Music: should have said long ago: You don’t know me
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business personal

Be irreplacable

In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different


Was in the hospital again this weekend, although not for me. In the end, everything worked out ok, so that was a huge relief.

I’m there so often, I feel I should get some sort of frequent flyer miles program.

Me: Do we have a cat?
Her: A cat? No.
Me: Then I found your slippers underneath the bed.

After almost two solid months of working 12-14 hour days, took this weekend off. It was weird. There’s this underlying guilt when you live an eat-what-you-kill lifestyle that you should be working on something.

Picked up a book for the first time in months: The Lawyer Bubble – I have a preview copy I’m reviewing for the New York Journal of Books.

It looks bleak for future of the profession, especially for the current classes and recent grads: There are approximately 45,000 new lawyers each year but only 73,600 legal jobs expected in the next decade.

Not good.

My focus in the law is pretty narrow – mainly because it’s the part I find the most interesting.

Coco Chanel once said, In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.

Think that’s true but I like to add it: …and to be irreplaceable, one has to do things that one: (a) loves, (b) can be the best in the world at, and (c) can make money doing.

That last part is from Good to Great.

I think that the two ideas combined and lead to a happy and comfortable life.

For a number of my clients, I like to think that I’m irreplaceable. And I think I’m irreplaceable because I’m doing something I’m really good at and enjoy doing (workload notwithstanding).

As for those newly minted lawyers, hope they find something for themselves that fulfill all four criteria.

Life is way too short to spend your time doing something you don’t at least somewhat like.

And having $120,000 in additional debt around your neck while doing it is no fun either.

As for me, I’m going to try and take it easy today.

Maybe have a whole-wheat donut.

Mood: relieved
Music: Let them say I was a hard working stiff and sand of the golden age
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personal

English is the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu of Languages

There’s a reason why the English language has taken over the world


On the way back from the fight, was chatting with the younger coach about books. He’s a voracious reader, which I both admire and envy. I used to read a book a week for years but then life got in the way.

Told him that the French and English are like Judo and BJJ.

In 1634, Cardinal Richelieu – the bad guy from the Three Musketeers – created the Académie française to preserve the French Language.

Essentially, the French language didn’t take on any foreign words if at all possible. In 1994, the Toubon laws were passed to make it a civil wrong to use an English word when a French equivalent existed.

Meanwhile, the English language refused to create an academy to “preserve” the English language so that soon, we had many words that all mean kinda the same thing like:

  • Give
  • Bequeath
  • Devise

But each one is slightly different. Because of this, the English language has far more words than French. Far more.

How many words does the French language have? Less than 100,000 words, and 35,000 common words.

How many words does the English language have? It has 1,013,913 as of June 10, 2009 at 10:22AM GMT.

If you think of a word like a tool, each tool is made for a specific task. To bequeath something means, “To give something that you can hold, to someone else, after you die.”

It’s the difference between “Keylock” (traditional Judo) and “Kimura,” “Americana,” and “Straight armlock” (three BJJ terms for the one Judo term). BJJ takes whatever it’s offered; if it works, it stays, if it doesn’t, it goes away.

It’s a pure meritocracy.

History has repeatedly shown one thing: Those things, people, places, cultures, that accept change, survive. The things that are rigid and intolerant, fade away.

French was the language of the world until the end of WWI. Prior to that, Otto von Bismark was said to have been asked what was the most important modern historical event? He replied, “That the North Americans speak English.”

He knew where the world was headed.

Wrote once that there’s a vast difference between broken and bendy.

If you aspire to be anything in life, aspire to be bendy.

Mood: full
Music:Demain sera pour tous un lendemain qui ne peut pas mentir
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personal

The guys in your corner

Life’s easier with people on your side

Was doing work when I got a text from my buddy Thor telling me he had a fight the next day. He’s probably the only guy I get to practice my crappy German with so I said yes.

Him: Hey buddy, do you maybe have some time tomorrow to take some pics?
Me: Maybe – where and when?

The next night, was walking down an empty Jerome Avenue looking for a fight ring.

Pretty soon, walked into a Bronx gym that smelled like old sweat and violence.

Found Thor and the coaches and waited around for the other fella – who ended up being a no show. But the guys just ended up looking for another fighter to fight and found one.

The only issue was that he was ranked two levels higher than my buddy (white vs. purple).

But Thor was game so it was on.

Just like all of the other fights, it was a lotta waiting around before they finally got down to scrapping. I stood in his corner with his coaches to film it.

Thor ultimately lost but we were proud that he held his own.

It’s ok, we all lose at some point.

And we all lose our very last fight. It’s our fate.

But along the way, it’s nice to have people in your corner – people on you side.

As for me, if I get to choose which corner to be in, I choose to to be in the one with the people that, when that bell rings – regardless of the what or who they’re up against – take a deep a breath, knuckle-up, and roll.

Him: Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me.
Me: You did great – it was against a purple! That’s something. Get ready for the next one – let’s go...

Mood: proud
Music: on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs
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personal

Autodidacticism

Autodidacticism is self-directed learning and possibly the most important skill one could have

For those of you not on the east coast, there is a serious cold snap here and the weather’s been in the teens. Since I’m the only person in my building that understands my building‘s boiler, I was down there this past week trying to fix it when it refused to turn on.

As I was doing that in my blue striped pajamas, I thought, “I’m a lawyer, why am I fixing a boiler?!”

And then I remembered that I’m the only one that read the manual.

As for me being a lawyer, “lawyer” is another way of saying, “the person that read the manual.”

Isn’t that what you hope when you, unfortunately, must speak to one of my kind? That he knows the answer to the question, “What do I do?” If he does know the answer, it’s cause he read the instruction manual/the law.

While I did go to school to learn how to be a lawyer, a great many of the other things I can do, I essentially taught myself. It’s called autodidacticism and is basically a fancy way of saying “reading the manual.”

Cooking – Via cookbooks and the Frugal Gourmet and Good Eats
Photography – Someone told me once that the best way to learn photography is to read the camera manual, I found this to be true
Computers – Manuals. Tons and tons of manuals. Basically got paid to read manuals. People still ask me tech questions.
Diet & exercise – Good books on the subject.
German – a book called Speak and Read German and then Living Language’s Ultimate German (jetzt ist es: Living Language German)

Just told a fencing student of mine that a good teacher teaches two things:

  1. the skill itself, and
  2. how to learn that skill.

Once someone has learned how to learn, the learning part is easy.

Sometimes too easy, as evidenced by the fact that I was back in my boiler-room last night at 10:30. But this time there was someone else in the building that wanted to know what was going on.

Him: So I read the manual, that thing is great.
Me: Yeah, I know! Now, why won’t this damn thing turn on…

Mood: brrrrrrr
Music: You’re ready to fly, I’m ready to crash
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dating

Sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity

Being honest puts you in the distinct minority


This is an entry on dating, despite how it may come across.

George Orwell once said that In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

Had a particularly bad night of insomnia the other night so I wrote and surfed the web.

Came across several people on my social network feed that posted the above image and read about how one kid’s brutally honest email was so jarringly unique that it’s appearing everywhere, including this blog.

It reminded me of an entry I wrote earlier titled What you think is true, what you hope is true, and what is actually true.

Can’t tell you how many people I’ve blocked on FB and elsewhere because of their steady stream of willful ignorance. The liberals are always so angry, the conservatives are always so outraged. And I’m so tired.

Not so much because what they say are so ridiculously stupid, rather, that they believe it so wholeheartedly.

Just today, a handful of my liberal friends are ranting that water should be free and my conservative friends are ranting that if everyone had a gun, the would would be safer.

When I was out and about, people always asked me my advice on dating – after all, I’m a clumsy, old, short, balding, Chinese dude, yet I never had any issues meeting people.

Her: (non·plussed) You meet people every weekend? I don’t believe that.
Me: (shrugging) It’s true.
Her: Who’d you meet this weekend?
Me: You.

The answer I gave was always this: be honest. Brutally honest – to yourself and those around you.

Girl at a bar: Guys are always hitting on me because of how I look.
Me: Well, it’s hard to see your personality from two feet away. Although at this distance, I’m still on the fence.

Because people crave the truth, even if they don’t like the truth.

That is, except for the sincerely ignorant and the conscientiously stupid.

On that note, in honor MLK day, I’ll end with a quote from him: Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

This was an entry on dating interpersonal relationships, despite how it may have come across.

And now back to work.

Mood: waking up
Music: I remember melodies of songs we used to sing.
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personal

Antifragile

We don’t have a word that’s the opposite of “fragile” – we should


This week is the first week I’ve had where I haven’t had a million deadlines so I’m easing back into normalcy. The weird thing is that high levels of pressure have been the norm for me for the past two months or so, so it’s hard for me to go back to having a bit of extra time again.

In some ways, it was a welcome distraction from not being able to go the gym and such.

Years ago, I wrote about this term called the Black Swan, which means a completely unforeseeable event that has a huge historical impact – like 9/11. A fella named Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote a whole book on the subject with the apt subtitle: The Impact of the Highly Improbable.

Anywho, Taleb coined another word he calls, Antifragile.

If fragility means that something breaks under stress, note that the English language has no antonym – we have no word that means grows stronger under stress.

In other words, the opposite of fragile is not sturdy nor resilient. When something is fragile, it becomes weaker when stressed. There is no word that means, Becomes stronger when stressed.

I think that most things do, though. Isn’t that how muscles are made, how iron is forged? One puts these things through stress and only then does it grow stronger.

Of course, if the stress is so great that it kills you, you’ve gone too far.

There are things, then, that happen that make us fragile and things that make us anti-fragile. I like to think that that most things make us anti-fragile.

We are still here, after all, no?

Mood: oddly relaxed
Music: these shoulders hold up so much, they won’t budge
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personal

Well, that’s my cue

I’m off to give a presentation – wish me luck

By the time you read this, I’ll be giving a lecture downtown so I didn’t have much time to write much.

Did have a new weekend though; met up with Paul and WM at Dive 75 when a redhead decided to sit down next to us and started to chat with us when her very inebriated friend came over to join us and spilled a drink all over me, Syd, and my jacket.

Me: Well, that’s my cue to leave.

Ended up at home and told my wife who immediately went online to look for ways to get stains outta leather.

Actually wrote a post in her blog on how to make a basic chicken stock if you want to read more of my nonsense.

OK, off to lecture…

Mood: nerdy
Music: such a fool for you. You got me wrapped around your finger
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