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Puttering around

The first days after an ACL operation are no fun at all

ACL injury in a leg braceFriday was interesting.

Woke up and got a phone call from the hospital at 9AM asking why I wasn’t there yet.

Me: My operation is scheduled for 2:45 today. I’m looking at my confirmation now.
Her: We have you down at 11AM.
Me: You’re kidding me.

She was not.

After several other phone calls, I hurriedly got dressed and hobbled out the door. After a few minutes of trying to get a cab, ended up taking the subway there. Don’t really remember how I made it down the stairs.

After a few more missteps – literally and figuratively – ended up on the cutting table.

Anesthesiologist: So how did you get injured?
Me: The usual, I was talking back to the wife.
Him: (laughing) You’ve got to learn to do that while walking away.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up with my leg wrapped up like a burrito.

The operation was a success and the wife picked me up and took me home. At first it didn’t hurt at all but once the anesthesia wore off, the pain came on hard and fast.

Wasn’t ready for it.

It’s not the pain of where the injury happened. It’s the two holes that they had to drill into my leg to get to the injury plus the two holes they drilled into my bone to attach a replacement (cadaver) ACL that was killing me.

My buddy Cary had gone through this before and told me to just enjoy the pain meds and have a lotta cookie dough. I did as instructed but substituted ice cream for the cookie dough.

Spent the rest of the weekend trying to not be sick from the meds and trying to find a comfortable position. Both were unsuccessful.

I’m told that the first 36 hours are the worst so I’m hoping that’s true. I’ve got 12 more days in this ridiculous contraption around my leg.

No fun at all. Luckily my wife is made of awesome and she made life as comfortable as possible over the weekend. She even got me a donut that was not whole-wheat.

And my mom called me, which was funny, as always.

Her: What about the guy that hurt you? Are you going to sue him?
Me: No. He’s an idiot but I’m not going to sue someone for being an idiot.
Her: Oooooh, I want to punch him! I want to punch him on his nose.

It’s good having people on your side.

———-

I’m posting my follow-up to 10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1 on Friday.

Also, I’m posting at noon from now on, just fyi.

And now, more drugs. At least there’s no oatmeal to go with my vicodin.

Location: bed
Mood: uncomfortable
Music: down on both bad knees. I’m just too much
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When the going gets tough, the tough makes a pity pulled pork sandwich

Been trying to avoid surgery but it looks like it’s happening

Pulled pork on a baguette with a side saladTried to avoid it but I can’t – gotta go into surgery this week to fix the injury I got a few weeks back.

Turns out that, despite it not being painful, the injury was really substantial – a “high-grade tear” so the doc was right.

Me: So there’s no way for me to avoid this surgery? I can’t rehab it?
Him: You can’t rehab a completely torn ligament. It’s gone. You can either replace it or not use your leg.

Luckily my meniscus was not damaged. Unfortunately, even with the insurance, it’s going to be quite expensive, both in terms of actual cost and time wasted. I’m out of commission for a solid half-year: surgery, two weeks in a brace, with six to eight months of rehab.

So irritated…

In light of this really disappointing news, did what all injured lawyers-slash-writers do: Made myself a roasted pork shoulder.

Brined pork shoulder / buttPicked it up on the one day that managed to hobble to the supermarket. Brined it in salt and sugar for 10 hours, pulled it out, let it dry over night, hit it with some BBQ rub and threw it into the oven; first uncovered for seven hours at 220 degrees…

Seasoned and brined pork shoulder / butt after about five hours

…then for another four hours at 250 degrees covered in foil.

Seasoned and brined pork shoulder / butt after 11 hours in the oven

Was planning on writing the follow-up to my last post about writing a profile for online dating sites but I guess I’ll post it on Tuesday of next week.

Expect a post from me on Monday about how my surgery went.

Wish me luck?

———-

Admin note: I’m going to start posting at noon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and the occasional Fridays starting next week.

Location: same #$@#$!! chair I’ll be in for months
Mood: apprehensive and fulla pork
Music: My oven’s the hottest you’ll find. Yes, I can roast too,
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It’s hard to get around (things)

Navigating NYC – or just life, for that matter – isn’t easy

Reflecting pool at the east most part of East 72nd Street.Mass transportation in Manhattan is such that to go from West 79th street to East 79th Street involves taking a train down the west side to 42nd street, taking another train across the island, and taking yet another train up the east side to East 79th Street.

Think of a letter “U” and you get the idea.

Instead, took the bus across town cause I didn’t think my leg would be able to handle the trip up and down the stairs on the subway. It’s roughly the same amount of time but a straight shot – most people don’t take the bus for some reason. Which is why I try to.

I’ve noticed that it’s always some little old lady that’ll offer me her seat when she sees me struggling to board with my cane. It’s never the younger guy.

Suppose that they know how hard it is to get around, the older people.

Changing room while at MRI.Made an appointment to see get an MRI done. When I got there, the place was empty. Suppose that people have better things to do on sunny afternoon than be shoved some contraption.

Not me, of course – other people.

Was told to lie still for 25 minutes as this machine scanned me

Him: Stop moving around so much!
Me: Sorry, sorry…

As I hobbled home got a text from Paul. I’m free for a drink or something later if you’re not busy. I’ll bring the rums.

The remainder of the evening involved a good deal of self-medication.

Ended the night with a conversation with another friend over his relationship.

Said it once before: Goodbyes are sad, regardless of how it happens.

Me: You’ve been through this before and made it through ok. So has she, yeah? This’ll happen however it happens.
Him: I know…

Suppose we all know how hard it is to get around.

Location: a chair
Mood: thoughtful
Music: remind myself that times could be much worse
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If I were a betting man?

You get bonuses to go with every painful thing that happens to you

Saint Clair Cemin's 40 foot stainless steel sculpture at 57th Street and Broadway.After some more serious pain in my left leg and the acceptance of the fact that it wasn’t actually getting better, went to the doctor.

Didn’t actually have to wait all that long before this young doctor came in and examined me.

He pulled and pushed my leg in all sorts of different ways that were pretty violent but, oddly, didn’t hurt that much. Then he sent me in for an X-Ray and then finally wrapped up everything by saying that I had to get an MRI to rule out any damage to meniscus.

But there was a pause in his voice that worried me. Been to enough hospitals to recognize it.

Doctor: …just bring this to the front desk and they’ll order up the MRI for you.
Me: Will I need surgery?
Doctor: Well, it’s hard to say without an MRI and…
Me: (interrupting) What if you were a betting man, Doc? What would you say my chances were that I needed surgery then?
Doctor: (slight laugh) If I were a betting man? (turning somber) If I were a betting man, I’d say 90%. There’s definitely some damage there.

Took a deep breath and then went out to the front desk and then made it home.

The thing with bad events is that, not only do you get the bad event, you get bonuses.

The bad event here is that I got injured and now have to get surgery.

The bonuses here are that now I’m unable to work out, which means I’m unable to sleep. So in addition to the discomfort in my leg, there’s the return of the insomnia. Last night was the first night.

It’s only 8:41 AM and I’m already dreading tonight.

Also had to turn down some work in Brooklyn as I can’t make it out that far.

Finally, I’ve recently been dealing with a crisis of faith for unrelated reasons.

Not been the best week so far.

Well, there’s always tomorrow.

Location: a chair
Mood: concerned
Music: if we are wise We know that there’s always tomorrow
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Wetshaving with a double-edge razor – Part 2

My experiences wet shaving with a safety razor
Using a shave brush to lather up the face

My first time using a double edged safety razor was not a good experience.

Me: I have to warn you that I look like a murder victim.
Her: What do you…OH MY GOD, what happened to your neck and face?!!

It was bad. Really, really bad. My neck was covered in blood and everything hurt. A lot.

If you decide to use a double-edge razor, you will absolutely cut yourself the first time you shave. You will blame the blade and then blame me. Do not. Freindly advice from startifacts.com suggests watching videos online that show you how to wet shave properly like this one and this one.

The main thing I’ve learned is that holding the razor is very different than with a traditional cartridge razor, and that means holding it at a 30 degree angle or less to your face – the pic below is more like 10 degrees but that works for me. I start at 0 degrees and angle it towards my face slightly. Then I take short strokes no more than an inch or so, clean the blade, and do it again.

At first, it took forever. Now it just takes a little longer than regular shaving.

If I use canned shaving cream that learned of from BeardBro – which I keep around for a pinch – it takes even less although you still have to wait a minute or so for your beard to soften with water anyway so I find that I end up using my shaving mug more and more.

Plus it’s part of the fun.

Should mention that I cut myself the second time I shaved as well but by the third time, I had zero cuts and now shave regularly with no cuts at all.

Thus ends the entries about my shaving.  This entry has also reminded me that I need to write the follow-up entry to: 10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1- Men, which will be for women from a man’s perspective. I’ll do that soon since I’ve got the time.

Interspersed with all of this will be my usual nonsense.

How to hold a traditional double-edged razor for wet shaving

In the meanwhile, found out last week that I was nominated last week as a “Furthered 40” legal educator on Lawline.

I know, I’m as surprised as you are. More surprising is that I actually have a shot at winning.

Don’t know what the prize is but, dammit, I want it for it may be food or food related.

Location: getting dressed to see a doc about my leg
Mood: slightly depressed
Music: The wound is so fresh you can taste the blood
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Wetshaving with a double-edge safety razor – Part 1

6 Reasons you should start using a traditional double-edged safety razor

Traditional double-edged razor, shaving mug, shaving brush, and standRecently started wet shaving with an old style double-edge safety razor and I’ve gone from hating – absolutely hating – shaving to loving it.

Here are six reasons why you should consider it:

1. It’s fun

Shaving is a chore. I mentioned to my buddy John – who’s also Asian – that one of the perks of being Asian, generally, is that you don’t have to shave a lot. Unless you’re a member of my family or his. At which point, it’s a lot like that Simpsons episode where Homer shaves only to instantly get a 5 o’clock shadow.

I can shave on Monday and have a full beard by Wednesday, I can sport all the beard styles 2017, I know you are jealous.

When you start wet shaving with a safety razor, you realize that it’s a skill you have to learn again. And there are these rituals before and after that make it interesting.

2. You get to get cool new stuff

The safety razor’s a heavy piece of metal that feels solid in the hand. It’s not some piece of exuded poly-anything. Even the double-edged razor I have, which is less than $6, is a machine made of steel and chrome.

Now granted, the only thing you really need is the double-edged safety razor itself and blades but it’s also a good excuse to get some cool – male – things for the bathroom, like a shaving brush and shaving mug, but more on that later.

All this brings us to:

3. It’s insanely inexpensive

So, take a look at your razor. How much do you spend for each blade? I’m guessing it’s like $1.50 to $3 per blade.

Again, what’s for sale? Does anyone really need two, three, SIX blades? That’s just stupid – read Number 5 below. Here, you can get 200 blades for $12.93 – or $0.064 each. Figure you get about four shaves from each, that means each shave is about $0.016.

Unless you have a super thick beard, at which point you’ll need the far more expensive Feather Blades, at a whopping $0.08 a shave.

As an IP lawyer, my guess is that once the patent for the double-edged razor went away, the razor companies needed to convince you that the old way wasn’t working and that two-blades were better.

After a while, three. Then four. I’m waiting for the 16-blade razor to come out.

4. It’s better for the environment

My double-edged razor is 100% metal. I can give it to my great-grand kids – if you wanted to, you could buy an vintage one on Etsy or ebay. And it’s also 100% recyclable. As are the blades.

And if you decide to get the shaving mug and brush as well, you don’t even have shaving cans to throw away. I can also give my shaving mug to my great-grand kids, providing my clumsiness doesn’t destroy it first.

When I’m done with my razor, it goes into the recycling bin with zero plastic.

5. It’s better for your skin

If you watch the commercials of the razor companies, they say the multiple blades lift up – aka pull – your hair (ouch!) and cut it so that the hair falls below the skin.

Hair below skin equals ingrown hairs (ouch X2!). That’s the last thing you want. Women get to use the best epilator equipment to prevent this, we just need to be skillful.

Research has proven this out that two blades are actually worse for your skin than just one blade. And six blades are just a marketing excuse no different than the Stella Artois marketing itself as “reassuringly expensive” here in the US, when it’s called “wife beater” in Europe.

Once you get used to shaving with a double-edged safety razor, there’s no going back.

6. Not everyone does it – so you should do it

It’s like knowing how to tie a bow tie, wearing a suit with working buttonholes sleeves, fencing, or cooking.

It’s not like you’re the guy that carries around an iguana so that people say, “Oh, he’s that nutjob with the iguana.” It’s something small and subtle that becomes part of who you are, slightly different than the rest; a skill that no one can take away from you.

It’s not something you need to know to be a man, but it’s something that makes it fun to be one. Note also that it makes a unique gift for a man.

A raditional double-edged razor for wet shaving

Here’s what it’ll cost you if you decide to start wet shaving:

That’s pretty much it to start. It comes with a cheap blade and you can see if it’s for you. If not, toss it into the recycling bin, chalk one up to: “Dammit, I listened to some idiot blogger online,” and call it a day.

If you decide you like it, here’s some more stuff you might wanna consider (I’m an Amazon Associate, btw but that’s not why I put up these links):

Ladies, this Christmas, if you have no idea what to get your fella, get him the above. Like I said, it’s a unique gift and something that will look nice around the house.

Because men like sharp, rugged stuff made outta metal. While you’re at it, toss out that Stella Artois in his fridge and get him a bottle of single-barrel aged rum.

If you’re not totally bored by this post by now, here’s the second part of this post. Blame my injury for all this posting…

Shaving Mug and Brush with whipped foam

A Great Online Dating ProfileIf you liked this entry, I just wrote a quick little book in April 2014 on how to write A Great Online Dating Profile with 30 tips to get noticed and get more responses – it’s just $0.99 at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store, as well as most other online retailer:

I also wrote a book about first dates with information I just haven’t seen in other books that I learned from three solid years of dating in NYC.

A Great First Date, early 2014It’s just $2.99 at at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store.

Location: still home with a bum leg
Mood: pensive
Music: slashed in the face, you’ve been left there to bleed
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Do you actually do any work?

When you make things look easy, people think it’s easy

Traditional double-edged razor, shaving mug, shaving brush, and standWas planning to post last Friday but a buncha ConEd people showed up early Friday to open up a gas pipe in front of my building and asked me if they could tap into the gas in my apartment. Very strange.

Afterward, hobbled down to Chinatown to meet up with the CEO of a bank and RE Mike, which doesn’t sound like fun but it was one of the best 90 minute meetings I’ve ever had. We mostly ended up talking about television shows and growing up the in big city.

There was this very young secretary at a firm I worked at once that didn’t really understand what I did all day. To her, it seemed like a lot of lunches and drinks.

Secretary: Do you actually do any work?
Me: (amused) That guy that just left? The one wearing the flip-flops and over-sized tee-shirt? He just hired us for a $19 million deal. So I would say, “yes.”

There’s this throw called the Harai-Goshi which, when done correctly, looks effortless. But to be able to get to that stage takes years of work. Ironically, it was that throw that the newbie was trying to do that put me outta commission last week.

But that’s neither here nor there.

In any case, took me forever to get back home because of my bum knee and then later that night, injured it even more trying to kill a mosquito. Could barely walk the next day.

Still, the weekend picked up dramatically after that. Went out with my wife for another date night around the way although even that took forever with my knee.

Her: Logan, if this were the animal kingdom, I would have already eaten you and found another mate.

Ended the night drinking wine and watching Forks over Knives on Netflix, it’s also on Showbox if you have that – btw, if you enjoyed Food Inc, you’ll probably enjoy this as well.

I’d tell you more about the date itself but she’s got her own blog now so you can click it and see for yourself.

She did take a really nice shot of me, which makes me look better that I really look. Those are the best kinda shots.

Since I’ve got the time, I’ll be posting tomorrow too. See you then?

Location: still home with a bum leg
Mood: fat
Music: I know she’s gonna leave this broken man behind her
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Saying things give them life

Have you left no sense of decency?

A strange bag of junk - or dog poop - tied to an awning in NYC

Before Tom Hanks was a major star, he was in this film called Splash where Daryl Hannah’s character picked the name “Madison” off a street sign because she didn’t know any better.

As of 2012, it’s the 4th most popular name for girls in America.

And then there was recently this fake news article by the Onion that the official Iranian news agency essentially copied and put up as true.

Finally, in the story of creation in both the bible and Greek mythology, a higher power – God in the former, Prometheus (or Athena) in the latter – takes clay and literally breathes onto them to give them life.

There’s something about words that live independently of ourselves. These throwaway things we say and do continue on without us.

Do you remember the pink slime thing I wrote a few months ago? As I thought, the price of beef is dramatically higher now. Another fake news story with very real world implications.

I’m much more careful about the stuff I put out into the aether cause I know that words put out into the world manage to take a life on their own. Even if we just want things to be hot breath and lies.

Write this because, as the political season heightens, I’m finding my online world being filled with more and more with things that are completely untrue – on both sides of the fence.

And I wonder if anyone feels at all even slightly bad about doing whatever it takes to win.

Cause what really is winning if we’re left with ridiculous names, high beef prices, and lies as truth.

What kinda prize is that?

Joseph N. Welch: Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

Location: still home with a bum leg
Mood: (really) slothful
Music: I’ll settle for one day to believe in you
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Old Man Logan

Struggle is the meaning of life

A lone bicycle in NYC

Me: (watching a contestant on X-Factor) I find her really annoying.
Her: I wanna kill myself.

The wife got me a cane for my injury, which made life immensely better for me although I do think it makes me look slightly ridiculous.

A recent Wall Street Journal article entitled Dirtier Lives May Be Just the Medicine We Need notes that while we’ve destroyed a litany of diseases (tuberculosis, polio, cholera, malaria, etc), we may have replaced them with modern illnesses (asthma, eczema, hay fever, Crohn’s disease, etc).

The hypothesis seems to be that the body must struggle against something. And if it has nuthin to struggle against, it begins to overreact to the things around it.

As an aside, reading my FB feed, I’m starting to think I know a lotta crackpot conspiracy theorists. But I digress…

Bring this up cause my mom is – justifiably – upset that that I got injured yet again.

Her: Why can’t you do something safer? Like cycling?

And of course, nothing is ever safe.

Was gonna tell her that the nature of man is to struggle against something. That there’s this Swahili saying that goes: Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So celebrate the struggle.

And without the struggle, the body and mind will find its own thing to struggle with.

But my Chinese isn’t good enough, and I don’t have the words. So instead, told her I’d consider it.

My wife’s taken to calling me Old Man Logan and took the picture below for her blog.

It’s hard to argue against that characterization.

Columbus Circle before the rain

Forgot to mention that, after I left the gym, took a cab back to my pad. When I got out, a stranger holding two grocery bags looked at me trying to hobble outta the cab.

Him: Can I help you?
Me: No, it’s fine.
Him: (walking to me and leaning down) I insist.
Me: (Putting arm around him) Ah, the kindness of strangers. I’ve got to remember I’m not 17 anymore.
Him: (laughing) You and me both, friend.

Location: home, for the past five days
Mood: slothful
Music: Don’t go looking for trouble, it’s looking for you
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Looking for silver linings

Got injured again so I’m trying to make the best of it
Columbus Circle before the rain

Me: (what I thought): Oh this won’t be good.
Me: (what I actually said): F________________!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it looks like I’ll have more time to blog the next few weeks since I’m going to be stuck in bed for a while.

Whenever we get a new guy in our gym, there’s a part of me that’s slightly worried because my worst – worst – injuries are from newbies.

11 years ago, I first joined a judo gym and this new guy walked in off the street and put me in what’s called a kimura. He then promptly tore my supraspinatus, which left me in traction for about six years.

Then a guy in my fencing class, after a month, disarmed me – in drilling – by tearing the sword from my hand and left my right wrist messed up for about 18 months.

Finally, there was that girl that went for an old injury despite being told not to go for it.

I think it has something to do with wanting to win. I’ve never been injured – or close to injured – by any of the older students. They want to win too but they’ve got control and know that if they really wanted to, they could win. So they don’t need to.

Yesterday, a new guy in the class did a pretty violent throw, which didn’t actually work, but did manage to completely jack up my knee.

For a second there, thought it was gonna be horrible insteada just really not good.

So now I’m sitting here writing to you with a brace and ice around my knee.

Still, for every negative, there’s usually some small positive.

This fella named Bill “Superfoot” Wall ofce has an impressive history – 21 fights, 20 wins, 1 draw, 0 losses. But he won this as a kickboxer after he was sidelined in a judo injury. Moreover, he learned to have a devastating left kick because he couldn’t use his right leg.

After my judo injury, took up fencing to fix my arm.

Then because of the injury in the right arm, I learned how to fence with my left. And I…am not left-handed.

So when I wrassle, my go to move is this – admittedly ridiculous looking – thing called a rubber guard. But I’m only proficient at it with my left leg because you need your right arm for it. In fact, just this past weekend, managed to put it on with my right leg only to realize it was completely unnatural. And it was unsuccessful.

Well, my left leg’s the one that’s jacked-up right now. So now I don’t think I can do it there for a while.

My brother, the doc, thinks it’s just a nasty sprain, as does my coach. But I’m out for a few weeks to a month.

In the meanwhile, suppose I’ll blog, work, and figure out how to start using my right leg for stuff. I also happen to be right-handed but left-footed for kicks so I can’t do that anymore either.

Note to self: Dude, you’re almost 40!

Rats.

Me: Do we still have that blue icepack?
Her: Maybe if you respected the organization of the freezer and didn’t just throw things in there, you’d know.
Me: Even when I’m injured, huh?
Her: (laughing) Let me get it for you.

Location: bed, looking at my purple knee
Mood: irritated
Music: well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister
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