Author: Logan Lo

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personal

Oatmeal or gruel? Vicodin or Rum?

A root canal is nowhere near as fun as you might imagine

A tribeca apartment stoop

Her: Let’s get going to see the dentist.
Me: OK, just lemme grab my keys. (sound of cloth ripping) Um, I think I just ripped my pants.
Her: (shakes head) I’m going to wait upstairs.

Had my second root canal today. If you’re contemplating getting one, reconsider. They are not nearly as fun as you might imagine. Visit three of nine.

Know what you never wanna hear your dentist say? Well, that’s unusual. That’s what y’never wanna hear your dentist say.

Assistant: Do you want more Novocaine?
Me: (muffled) God yes.

Actually been sleeping better, what with the quantity of drugs in my system. I also bought myself a mouth guard for teeth grinding at night, so that must be helping too.  But when I’m not sleeping, I’m reading Outliers. Probably his best book – and I liked the other two. Y’should read it. We’ll discuss when I’m not so cloudy.

Saw my mom for dinner.

Her: You’re coming home for dinner? (thinking) I’ll make oatmeal then.
Me: NO MORE OATMEAL!

Instead, had rice gruel and 10,000 year old egg. So. Painful. Least it wasn’t oatmeal. To add insult to injury, evidently washing down vicodin with rum is strongly discouraged. Which means I gotta choose which pain reliever I love more.

Me: …sorta felt like a hammer slamming into my tooth…
Brother: (interrupting) Y’know, using the words hammer and tooth in the same sentence results in, one would say, dubious enjoyment potential.

On the plus side, I’m gonna see me some Fleetwood Mac tonight. But first I gotta prep breakfast.

Two guesses what I’m having.

Location: 15:07 yest, getting drilled in Queens
Mood: more ouch
Music: sings a song Sounds like she’s singing oooh baby
YASYCTAI: Eat more oatmeal – (a) because why should I be only one that has to and (b) it’s good for you. Keep telling yourself that. (50 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

The pits

A tribeca apartment stoop

Me: I think I need to go to the emergency room.
Her: OK.
        • When you make a salad, do not put in olives that have pits in them.
        • If you do make a salad that has olives with pits in them, do not serve at a dinner party.
        • If you do make a salad that has olives with pits in them, and must serve said salad at a dinner party, let your guests know about the aforementioned pits.

You can say:

a) The salad has olives that have pits in them.
b) There’re olives with pits in the salad.
c) Be careful eating this salad as the olives aren’t pitted.

Won’t belabour the point but y’know what happens when you don’t?

One bleeding guest, one shattered tooth, four tabs of vicodin, one shot of some painful painkiller, 500mg of naproxen, three shots of lidocaine, three shots of novocaine, four tabs of sleeping pills, $3,000 of tooth damage and Teeth whitening, two visits to the dentist (with another nine to go), one root canal, and more drugs.

Lots and lots of drugs. And lots of oatmeal. In fact, all the oatmeal one could eat.

In short, it was…wait for it…the pits. I really can’t stand having to even consider pediatric dentistry & orthodontics, being an adult has many challenges and pains, dental problems, I think everyone can agree, is terrible.

However, Heartgirl did get to meet my mother and speak to my brother – although the circumstances were less than ideal. So that was my weekend, how was yours?

Me: (drugged out) On the way here, I was thinking two things: (a) man, I’m in pain, and (b) wonder if that halal food cart is still serving food this late.
Her: (shakes head) You know, I was just thinking this morning that I should get all your medical information. You have the worst luck.
Me: It’s more stupid luck. than anything. (later) Hey, thanks for staying.
Her: (laughing) Where else was I going to go?

Location: my apartment, all day
Mood: ouch!
Music: well pick me up with golden hand

Categories
personal

Tom, Helen, Paris, and Ray

Location: four hours ago, in a Honda driving home
Mood: busy
Music: Bad news comes don’t you worry even when it lands

Don’t come, it was two years ago (whoa) – I’m not at my place and don’t have a pic for this entry so I’m reposting – you can watch it at 72canal.com if you want.

Me: What do you think it is?
Her: (thinking) I think it’s a self-selecting industry. I mean, you have to be somewhat greedy and self-centered to enter the profession. So when you give a bunch of greedy, self-centered people a ton of money, is anyone really surprised when they give themselves million-dollar bonuses for “retention” even though there’s no job for them to go to?

Normally I never write anything political but I just gotta say this.

The problem with tossing out all these numbers like million, billion and trillion is that they all kinda sound the same – lemme put it in some perspective:

  • A million seconds ago, was 11 days, 20 hours, 4 minutes and 4 seconds ago. I was still a 35-year old nobody.
  • A billion seconds ago, was 31 years, 8 months, 6 days. I was a 3-year old nobody.
  • A trillion seconds ago, was 31,688 years 269 days 17 hours 34 minutes 25 seconds. Nobody was anybody.

Y’know that quote from Edison? He was asked how it felt failing all those times while making the lightbulb – he replied, I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

There’s this insane fear of failure. And it is very, very insane. Spending a lotta A‘s dough, to bail out B just seems wrong to me. Even worse, spending that much money, knowing, knowing that they’re just going to spend it on themselves, as they have before, is just more insanity.

The worst part is that it keeps happening and the economy keeps getting worse.

Rough times cut away the fat of our lives to see the muscle underneath. I truly believe that. Failure and death are ugly things but ugly things are part of the natural course of the world.

I meet so many young people that think spending coin’s the way to solve things. It isn’t.

The world needs more people like Helen Keller who have nothing and made something of themselves and less people like Paris Hilton who have everything and make nothing of themselves.

YASYCTAI: Read about Ray Kroc. He was a failure until he was 50-something. Then he wasn’t. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Long Distance

Location: noon, yest, Franklin Street
Mood: cloudy
Music: I’m not listening when you say, good-bye

A metro station in Washington DC

Him: I was going to ask her to marry me.
Me: What happened?
Him: We broke up.
Me: Well, that’ll do it.

Heartgirl’s busy with a work project and I’ve not been sleeping so I’ve been trying to catch up with some friends.

Stopped by PCD’s to drop off something I got for her birthday ages ago. She’s swell and juggling a buncha boys, as usual. It was a tech gift that ended up not working but she was very understanding.

Her: It’s ok, I appreciate the thought. Here, you can have a Cadbury mini egg – they’re the most happiest food on earth.
Me: OK, thanks, I…(reaching into bag)
Her: HEY! Don’t put your dirty bus hands into my Cadbury mini eggs bags. Let me order them from best to worst – yellow’s the worst.

She insisted that I eat the blue ones. They’re her favourite.

Also saw Sheridan who snuck me onto the construction site of a new building downtown he’s in charge of. $725,000 for a one-bedroom. Didn’t say anything but I’m wondering who’d buy a $725K one-bedroom right now. Another buddy just bought a $150K Porsche. We live in such different worlds these days.

Went to my fencing class. The guy that’s in the Hulu ad with Alec Baldwin is in my class and we somehow got on the topic of long distance relationships.

Me: (swinging) His girl lives in Berlin.
Him: (parrying then swinging) No way! Well that’s not good. I did that for years. LA/NY. It never works out.

Me: (parrying) I did that too – Hamburg/NY – never does.

Told him that that long distance relationships are hard cause you don’t get to see the person you think of all the time. Speaking of which, did manage to see Heartgirl for breakfast this morning though. Last minute thing.

She gave me a kiss on the cheek before dashing off to work. My head’s so cloudy these days but I remember what she looked like this morning clearly.

Couldn’t imagine what it’d be like if we were long distance.

YASYCTAI: Take up a new sport. I’m thinking you might like fencing. (90 mins/2 pts)

Categories
personal

It’s personal

It’s just business was supposed to mean exactly the opposite of what it means

A metro station in Washington DC

 

Me: Man, it’s like 2Pac said, That’s just the way it is.
Heartgirl: But Logan, in the original song, he says, But don’t you believe them.

Told Koreanjohnny to read The Godfather cause he’s young enough and old enough to appreciate it. Read the book before I saw the movie so I looked at it differently.

While I loved the movie, Coppola made two changes to the story that always bothered me. The first one is that line everyone tells you right before they screw you at work or business or something: “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

But the truth of the line never made it to the movie; it happens in a conversation between Mike and his brother, Tom, who says that Mike’s taking it all too personally:

Tom, don’t let anybody kid you. It’s all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of s__t every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it’s personal as hell. You know where I learned that from? The Don. My old man. The Godfather. If a bolt of lightning hit a friend of his the old man would take it personal. He took my going into the Marines personal. That’s what makes him great. The Great Don. He takes everything personal Like God. He knows every feather that falls from the tail of a sparrow or however the hell it goes? Right? And you know something? Accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents as a personal insult.

 

Just over a year ago, I told you that we live in a Cliff’s Notes society – where we think we know something, but we don’t know the whole thing.

People always make excuses for screwing others over. But I like that last line: Accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents as a personal insult.

If they tell you otherwise, don’t you believe them, don’t let’s anybody kid you.

Man, it’s always personal to someone. That’s the truth of it.

Me: You’re right. I forgot.

Location: a large blue bed
Mood: awake
Music: Belief Makes things true Things like you

Categories
personal

Snowed in

Location: trapped in my pad
Mood: pensive
Music: something to keep the chill From freezing our own free will

A metro station in Washington DC

Gio had his annual birthday party this past weekend. His buddy, Ron, rented out this entire club in Times Square with a top-shelf open bar and scantily clad dancers. Wish I brought my camera. Heartgirl met some old friends of mine and brought some of her own.

Two fellas were hitting on her so I took the time to sneak away and stuff my face and watch them try. Ended up talking to an old friend who’s taking a break from her boyfriend because after eight years, she’s still not a Mrs. but rather a Ms. She’s probably one of my most attractive and sweetest friends.

Her: Man, Logan. Only you can go to a party and bring a girl down.
Me: Don’t mean to. Just think you deserve better. Cause y’do. S’long time to wait for a day that might never come.

Heartgirl recently saw the Sex in the City film. One of the characters is stood up at her wedding. It’s funny – I always wondered who’d try to marry someone that might bail. Figured that it’s something one would know beforehand, right?

Gave her a hug as Heartgirl sat down next to me and patted my hand.

I then drank enough rum to kill an elephant and stumbled home at 3, I think. But, as always, woke up without a hangover. Rum’s the best.

Was trapped in my apartment into Monday due to the snowstorm.

Me: It’s Monday. It’s my workout day.
Her: What does that mean?
Me: It means that I put on an electric blue spandex outfit with matching legwarmers and crank up Olivia Newton-John’s (Let’s Get) Physical. I think our relationship’s strong enough to handle it.
Her: Logan, no relationship is that strong.

An eyelash was on my face so she told me to blow it off her finger and make a wish, so I did.

YASYCTAI: Maybe it’s time to learn to cook something new. Try salmon. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Down from your fences

Location: 19:14 yest, 462 Amsterdam Ave
Mood: pensive
Music: ain’t gettin no younger Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin you

A metro station in Washington DC

Heartgirl: (bursts out laughing) Those old ladies back there said, There’s a sexy Asian guy!
Me: I am! (turning to her) Kidding – it’s only cause I’ve got such a lovely accessory…
Her: (beams)
Me: …my cool leather jacket.
Her: (laughs again) Yes, you’re really popular with the cougars.
Don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without a single client calling me. Man, it’s like death out there. Gotta tap into my last little bit of emergency coin but suppose this is emergency time.

Been keeping busy trying to get some some things settled, though. The thesis, paperwork, continuing education. Lotsa stuff. Personal stuff too – saw my cousins last night. We never hang out. No reason, just don’t. People think I eat a lot. These guys, these guys can pound. And they’re all normal looking.

Talked about our grandmother. They said, without trying to make me feel bad, that I should have seen her. Least said goodbye. Told them I couldn’t. They said my mom sat all by her lonesome at the funeral.

Somehow, knew that without them telling me that. Guess cause I do that too, sometimes.

Told them that I’m closer to 40 than I am to 30. And I’m still waiting for my real life to begin.

Man, how silly’s that?

YASYCTAI: See someone for dinner that you’ve been meaning to. (90 mins/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Susie Brown’s between awake & dreams

Names
Been thinking about names again. Y’ever notice that Susie Derkins‘ the only character in Calvin and Hobbes that has both a first name and a last name? Or that Charlie Brown’s always referred to by his full name?

Guess it’s cause, even if they didn’t think so, they were somebody to someone. The things you think about when you can’t sleep…

Met Heartgirl’s parents. Good people. And, unlike my my usual modus operandi, I neither broke anything nor fell down any stairs (see my 25 things from two years ago). Actually, that’s not true, I did actually stumble a bit down the stairs but no one heard or saw, so don’t think that counts.

Her: Do you want fruit, pie, or coffee?
Me: Yes, please.

Stairs – my mortal enemy. Sleep – my elusive drug.

The insomnia’s back. Been lying on my bed in that haze between awake and dreams.

Imagined I was chewing gum and it turned out to be an earplug. Imagined if I choked and died? How embarrassing – hope that someone’d cover for me.

Used to wonder if I were a main character or a bit-player.

Suppose we’re all a main character to someone. Man, despite the lack of sleep, starting to believe that it might almost matter.

Location: a brown leather sofa
Mood: beat
Music: So many dreams swinging out of the blue (Spotify)

Categories
personal

Darned

I don’t have bad luck, just strange luck

New York Skyline

Was shopping recently with a friend when I got a surprise coupon – youdidn’t know how much off you got until you got up to the register. Between 5 and 50%. Just gave it to my friend since I’m sans scratch.

Her: Because I could only use one, I thought about your luck. With your luck, your coupon probably was really valuable since you gave away.
Me: And?
Her: 40% off – the guy at the counter hadn’t seen one before.
Me: (sighing) Of course not.

And my building was recently jacked. Not my pad, which is good, however, as condo president and onea the guys that runs the place, I’m out more coin than the guy that got robbed.

And I got hit with a yet another court hearing. Plus a bevy of other things you wouldn’t believe if I told you.

On the plus side, I’ve been working on this thesis thingy for the past 24 months – almost to the day. Finally figured out this problem that was bugging me for five months. Turned out to be a formatting error. A stupid formatting error. Wanted to both hit something and jump for joy when I found it.

I got the kinda luck where I spend a dollar to win a dollar.

Some people’re damned. Me? I swear I’m darned.

Location: 13:10 yest, getting choked on 28th
Mood: disappointed
Music: been wondering why It’s only me

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Categories
dating personal

Mii

Location: 11:06 yest, H&H; Bagels
Mood: really busy
Music: You can never get enough Enough of this stuff

NYC cityscape from the Hearst Building

Had a nice St. Valentine’s day with a quiet dinner. And Heartgirl demolishing me in Big Brain Academy.

Mii

———-

A neighbor’s bumped into me and several women I’ve dated. It’s a running joke between us. Ran into her again over the weekend and I told her about Heartgirl.

Her: Four months? That’s a record for you!
Me: (laughing) I suppose. I guess I’m just too old for it now.

S’funny cause all of my college friends knew me as the serial monogamist. Friday, saw an old buddy that only knew me as the computer guy with all the suits yet another friend says he’s never seen me in anything but tee-shirts and jeans.

A guy I tangled with was surprised I had a college degree. A girl I tangoed with was surprised I had my quiet nights.

S’funny what people think we are and what we think we are. Me? I think I’m just a recovering dork that doesn’t mind so much any more – see below for proof.

BTW, since I’m not dating wildly any more, read my friend Trix’s blog for a woman’s perspective in NYC dating: Friday I’m in Love.

Trix: [Dating] hasn’t been as fun lately. I just got tired of it.
Me: It does get tiring – all the hellos and goodbyes…

Her: …and the crazy.

Mii

YASYCTAI: What do you think you look like? (1 min /1 pt)