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personal

Girl with a pretty face vs. A pretty girl

A very strange night to add to my list of very strange nights

 

I crashed this party with some friends including an old friend, Buckley, whom I’ve known for 14 years. He’s a decent fellow. The problem’s that he’s 36 and he still thinks that drinking to excess is somehow cool.

I crash a lotta parties cause I get along with everyone. But Buckley was a slobbering, augmentative drunk. Before I knew it, he was being tossed out by this group of guys at the behest of the birthday girl. It was a whole production with me having to get between them all.

Ugh.

Eventually, we got him into a cab and I walked back with Hazel and Kane to apologize to the birthday girl. I should mention now that the birthday girl has a pretty face.

Here’s the thing. It’s NYC. You can’t go two feet without running into a girl with a pretty face. They’re like a dime-a-dozen. I’m pretty calloused to girls with pretty faces. But as I’m apologizing to her, she’s apologizing back to me. She said, I’m sorry I was being so douchey.

This whole time, everyone is staring at our exchange because I think they all expected some beef. Instead, she and I are smiling and laughing, like we’re old friends. She said I came off as good guy and I told her that I thought she was just really all that.

As we’re talking, she went from being a pretty face to a pretty girl. There’s a very big difference between the two. Like the difference between gold paint and gold.

She invited us to come back in but I told her that we came back purely to apologize. We chatted a bit more before I gave her a hug that she returned. If things were different, I might have given her my number. Then again, the poor girl’s been through enough.

It’s not all the time that people’s insides match their outsides. My ex said mine don’t.

It’s nice to meet someone whose stuff did.

Location: 7:15PM yest, saying hi at church
Mood: tired
Music: we throw parties, you throw knives
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dating personal

Never gonna fall for

Saw a concert with Camera Obscura and The Last Town Chorus

 

The Last Town Chorus playing Modern Love at the South Street Seaport

Hopping on a 6AM train bound for Baltimore tomorrow. Exam.

Not ready but when are we ever for these tests we take in life?

Did go to that concert Friday at the seaport to see Camera Obscura. Opening act was The Last Town Chorus – that’s a pic of the lead singer, sorry so blurry, I was hella far away. They sang a cover of Bowie’s Modern Love.

Camera Obscura at the South Street Seaport

Told the Grey-Eyed Girl I went with that I got dropped off by my party bus rental at the seaport and spent my prom night there. She got a kick outta that. Been in this @#$! town too long.

Speaking of towns, looks like she and I are heading for Friendsville – weird, it’s usually me driving there. Well, it happens.

Been on 20 dates with 14 girlies in 60 days. Plus I met two separate women on the way to the concert. Not sure I’m cut out for this modern love – I’ve essentially turbo-charged my disappointments and disappointing. Perhaps I’m just all charm and no substance.

Startin’ to think dating’s just an excuse for me to blow coin I ain’t got, time I don’t have and hope I can’t spare.

Actually, hope? That I got.

Cause I keep thinking, this time’ll be different.

This time…

Location: on the telephone, dealing
Mood: indescribable
Music: Its just the power to charm
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personal

Camera Obscura

Wondering if I should play hooky and see a concert

 

Argh! Camera Obscura is playing live and free tonight at the South Street Seaport at 8PM.

Was planning to stay in tonight for the first time in months just to prep for the exam but these guys are so awesome.

Should I go? Man, I’m so torn…

Location: about to run out the door
Mood: confused
Music: I’ve got my life of complication here to sort out

Categories
personal

The little things Pt II

The little things make life that much better

Me: Actually, I bought a lottery ticket that night. I was sure I’d win.
Her: (laughing) I think you already used up your luck for the day.

The girl that was in the car with me politely told me that we probably wouldn’t be seeing each other again. I guess a car accident on a second date’ll do that.

That same day, I also realized I how much work I had ahead of me both with the car and with real work.

And to top it all off, I got onto the wrong train on my way to the junkyard to deal with my crashed car. Was going to waste at least an hour getting there now.

Little things, yeah. But we know that the little things mean a lot to me.

Pisser.

Then these three kids stepped into the subway car and started hitting everything around them with drumsticks.

Asked them if they would play me something. They did.

The little things almost ruined my day. Then again, a little thing saved it. The guy at the pound said I was a lucky boy. The doc said I was fine.

Later that night, I met four lovely ladies, three of whom were traveling from Sweden. The girl in the conversation above lives around the way. Also met some other people but those are stories for a different time.

Finally fixed my screen.

Perhaps best of all, I slept six hours that night.

Thank God for the little things.

Location: my black chair
Mood: less freaked out
Music: Can music save your mortal soul

Categories
personal

Still Shaky

My insomnia is getting to me

Looked for Selene in the blue sky today. I didn’t see her.

I know I’ve picked up a bunch of new readers and I’m sorry that I’m not more entertaining at the moment.

My insomnia and hand shaking has returned with a vengeance, recent events – both open and secret – have kinda brought me down.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful I’m alright. Very.

The hand of God is in all things.

But I sometimes I feel like I take a step forward and two steps back all the time, you know?

Do you know where the word, tantalize comes from? There’s this myth where this dude Tantalus, cursed to be thirsty, bends to a stream to drink, only to have it recede just beyond reach. Cursed to be hungry, reaches for an apple, and the branches pull back.

Never go more than a week without a sleepless night. Last week, I slept. Last night, it started again. It’s ever the same. Two weeks now. I know it.

I hate it.

And it’s killing me bit by bit. Absolutely…breaking me.

Not at once. Just a little at a time.

OK, I’ll stop. Emo – just learned the term recently. Sorry. Working through a few things.

Above, the ever popular and lovely KT Tunstall again for your entertainment.

You cannot buy love. You cannot buy sleep. But red, red rum…that you can have for $10 a glass. And YouTube is free.

Friday the 13th. Of course.

I’ll be back on Monday after I’ve bent some time.

See you then.

Location: my red couch
Mood: still freaked out
Music: And now I’ve got a hole for the world to see

Categories
personal

The little things

I live my life through tiny cues

Despite my best efforts, had to go outside today for work. 95+ degrees of hell.

I live my life via interpersonal perception: quick, acute, and intuitive cognition. In other words: tiny cues.

Was at the bookstore the other day and this guy with hella scary tats came in. He had two short sticks in his bag and callouses on his right hand. So I asked, “Are you an XXXX fencer?”

His face broke out into this huge grin and he gave me the salute for my system, which I returned. We’re gonna roll after work craziness stops.

When it comes to women, think I fall or don’t fall for them based on these cues.

Broke it off with this one girl because she never said, “Thank you” to people. There’re a million pretty girls in the big city – I don’t need one that can’t be nice.

Once fell for another girl because, when she thought I couldn’t hear, she’d wash the dishes and sing just…terribly. Another girl would bob her head back and forth when she was happy or wanted to dance. I loved her right away.

In this video, look at Imogen’s eyes 3 mins, 35 sec before it ends. Things like that kill me. I can’t explain why. It just does.

KT Tunstall is half-Chinese with a smoky Scottish voice. My people rock so hard.

In the vid above, watch her eyes 11 seconds before it ends. Eyes get me every time (here’s another version – I’m crushing).

Little things. I’m a sucker for the little things.

Hey, aren’t we all?

Location: still in front of my cracked screen
Mood: oddly content
Music: won’t you please send me back

Categories
personal

Joni Mitchell never lies

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

I’m somewhere. Not elsewhere, I’m afraid. Just away. Here.

You know you’ve been traveling too much when you pull into a driveway and realize, Oh man, I’ve stayed here before.

Don’t even remember coming to Rochester before.

You don’t know it, but I’m sitting in my hotel room laughing to myself.

Spent a week here in this same hotel nine months ago. It was a strange time then. It’s strange again.

Sleep. Must sleep.

I’m coming back home tonight, I think. Losing track of time.

On a different note entirely, before I left, I found a shirt an ex left at my place.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s

Location: hotel room
Mood: drained
Music: I’m gone

Categories
personal

On your side

I’m (not so) secretly on your side

I know we never talk;
Or take walks,
or even write.

It’s strange – we’re strangers.

We live separate lives.
But secretly

(shhhhh)
secretly, I’m on your side.

Location: -1 hr, all over the UWS
Mood: busy but happy
Music: I know we’ve all had a bumpy ride

Categories
personal

What’s my name?


This song came up in a class I’m taking – I couldn’t believe two people never heard it before.

My fav lines (which seem to resonate even now):

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made

Thought it was kismet because of my last post. Looking at the lyrics, I always thought the devil’s us.

Then again, I thought my 1990 BMW would run forever and that 2006 was going to be a great year for me.

Shows what I know.

Location: @12PM, in the Bronx getting wet
Mood: okay
Music: I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reach Bombay

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