Tag: music video

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Still Shaky

My insomnia is getting to me

Looked for Selene in the blue sky today. I didn’t see her.

I know I’ve picked up a bunch of new readers and I’m sorry that I’m not more entertaining at the moment.

My insomnia and hand shaking has returned with a vengeance, recent events – both open and secret – have kinda brought me down.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful I’m alright. Very.

The hand of God is in all things.

But I sometimes I feel like I take a step forward and two steps back all the time, you know?

Do you know where the word, tantalize comes from? There’s this myth where this dude Tantalus, cursed to be thirsty, bends to a stream to drink, only to have it recede just beyond reach. Cursed to be hungry, reaches for an apple, and the branches pull back.

Never go more than a week without a sleepless night. Last week, I slept. Last night, it started again. It’s ever the same. Two weeks now. I know it.

I hate it.

And it’s killing me bit by bit. Absolutely…breaking me.

Not at once. Just a little at a time.

OK, I’ll stop. Emo – just learned the term recently. Sorry. Working through a few things.

Above, the ever popular and lovely KT Tunstall again for your entertainment.

You cannot buy love. You cannot buy sleep. But red, red rum…that you can have for $10 a glass. And YouTube is free.

Friday the 13th. Of course.

I’ll be back on Monday after I’ve bent some time.

See you then.

Location: my red couch
Mood: still freaked out
Music: And now I’ve got a hole for the world to see

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The little things

I live my life through tiny cues

Despite my best efforts, had to go outside today for work. 95+ degrees of hell.

I live my life via interpersonal perception: quick, acute, and intuitive cognition. In other words: tiny cues.

Was at the bookstore the other day and this guy with hella scary tats came in. He had two short sticks in his bag and callouses on his right hand. So I asked, “Are you an XXXX fencer?”

His face broke out into this huge grin and he gave me the salute for my system, which I returned. We’re gonna roll after work craziness stops.

When it comes to women, think I fall or don’t fall for them based on these cues.

Broke it off with this one girl because she never said, “Thank you” to people. There’re a million pretty girls in the big city – I don’t need one that can’t be nice.

Once fell for another girl because, when she thought I couldn’t hear, she’d wash the dishes and sing just…terribly. Another girl would bob her head back and forth when she was happy or wanted to dance. I loved her right away.

In this video, look at Imogen’s eyes 3 mins, 35 sec before it ends. Things like that kill me. I can’t explain why. It just does.

KT Tunstall is half-Chinese with a smoky Scottish voice. My people rock so hard.

In the vid above, watch her eyes 11 seconds before it ends. Eyes get me every time (here’s another version – I’m crushing).

Little things. I’m a sucker for the little things.

Hey, aren’t we all?

Location: still in front of my cracked screen
Mood: oddly content
Music: won’t you please send me back

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Joni Mitchell never lies

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

I’m somewhere. Not elsewhere, I’m afraid. Just away. Here.

You know you’ve been traveling too much when you pull into a driveway and realize, Oh man, I’ve stayed here before.

Don’t even remember coming to Rochester before.

You don’t know it, but I’m sitting in my hotel room laughing to myself.

Spent a week here in this same hotel nine months ago. It was a strange time then. It’s strange again.

Sleep. Must sleep.

I’m coming back home tonight, I think. Losing track of time.

On a different note entirely, before I left, I found a shirt an ex left at my place.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s

Location: hotel room
Mood: drained
Music: I’m gone

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What’s my name?


This song came up in a class I’m taking – I couldn’t believe two people never heard it before.

My fav lines (which seem to resonate even now):

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made

Thought it was kismet because of my last post. Looking at the lyrics, I always thought the devil’s us.

Then again, I thought my 1990 BMW would run forever and that 2006 was going to be a great year for me.

Shows what I know.

Location: @12PM, in the Bronx getting wet
Mood: okay
Music: I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reach Bombay

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