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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 2 – MickyD’s, Christmas Market, and Glühwein

Here’s that pic I promised you

Now, mind you that I’d slept less than two hours for the past 36 hours, so I was desperate for some legal stimulants.

So, we immediately hopped one of their super reliable – and legit adorbs – trolleys heading to the city center and searched for some coffee.

Look at that line – it wasn’t even noon yet.

To wit, we tried to hit up a classic Viennese cafe, but they were all closed where we were, or the lines were super long.

Her: Look, there’s a McDonalds.
Me: I don’t want our first cup of coffee in Vienna to come from a MickyD’s.
Her: We just need caffeine. You definitely do.
Me: (sighing) Fair. OK.

So, we did just that. Gotta say, it was the nicest McD coffee experience I’ve ever had.

Real glasses, plates, and tableware.

She was right, that coffee really woke up me up, so we headed off to the Christmas Market at the City Hall.

I’d gone to several in Nuremburg and Cologne in my past life, but this was her first.

If you’ve never been to a German/Austrian/Swiss Christmas Market in your life, it’s worth the trip to do it. They’re really awesome.

There are all these cute little stands selling whatnot…

…but for my money, the Glühwein – which is mulled wine – and the accompanying mugs are the best things about the market.

For one, they smell amazeballs. Plus, when you get one, it warms you up and tastes as good as it smells.

When you buy one, they also take money for the mug, which you can keep or return to get back the money you spent.

So, the very first thing we did upon arriving at the market was to buy some glühwein and some food – bratwursts, of course.

Her: We’re in Vienna! Can you believe it?
Me: Crazy, right?

She wanted ketchup on it, but I held my nose and ate it nevertheless.

It was still a treat enjoying it, albeit not exactly like the locals would.

The lines were pretty long for all the good stuff.

There’s a pretty famous restaurant by the city hall called the Wiener Rathauskeller but it was closed when we were there.

Unfortunately, we didn’t last too much longer as our jet lag got the better of us, and we headed back to her friend’s pad to crash.

I’ll tell you more in the next entry.

Years ago, I told you that my buddy Tiffany sent me a mug alla way from Germany.

Told you that I’d take a pic of that mug and never did.

It’s 15 years late, but here it is:

Location: a BJJ gym in the UWS, watching the boy tackle another boy and feeling oh-so-proud
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Music: It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 1 – New Jersey, New York, Frankfurt, and Vienna

An Italian lunch, airplane food, and two shots

Hopped the train into the city within a few hours of my waking up in New Jersey and had a pretty uneventful trip into Penn Station where I met up with the Firecracker.

Her: We’re going to Vienna!
Me: Yes, yes we are. You know, I’ve taken this red suitcase with me all over the world since 1999. It’s almost a quarter-of-century old.
Her: Well, you are 50.

We took the LIRR to the AirTrain and then made our way to Terminal 7 where we searched for Condor airlines.

Her: Where is this place?
Me: You got me.

Turns out that it was tucked away in the corner, and we missed it.

Once we got everything settled away, we sat down to enjoy the lunch that my mother-in-law made for us.

Her: That was so nice of her!
Me: Shoot, it looked great earlier – I musta jostled it too much getting it here.
Her: Oh, that’s fine, I’m just happy we have it.

I didn’t think we’d finish the whole thing, but I need to believe in myself more.

Bellies full, we stood in line for security.

Me: This is such a short line, we’ll be at the gate in 15 minutes.
Her: Wait, it wraps around into a whole ‘nother room.
Me: (45 minutes later) I’m sure we’ll make our flight.
Her: (putting hand above her head) My anxiety is here.

Luckily, we made our flight and were pretty pleased with the cleanliness and modernity of the airplane.

The enormous CONDOR sign in the middle of the plane was an interesting touch.

The Firecracker konked out immediately and slept pretty much the entire way to Frankfurt while I was wide awake, but tired enough that I wasn’t productive at all.

The food was 100% carbs – pasta, a roll, and dessert – so I didn’t eat a thing.

Thank goodness my MIL made us lunch earlier, but I was still starving.

Some 10 hours later, we transferred in Frankfurt – the main pic is of me in the Frankfurt airport. I’d been there ages ago with the German girl.

Me: Man, it’s been like…21 years since I was last here.
Her: (laughs) I was barely a teenager then.

At the airport, I immediately bought two shots and chugged them, but to no avail – I still couldn’t fall asleep.

The Firecracker, however, immediately passed out. Of course.

Soon, it was time to board our next plane and, just a couplea hours later, we arrived in Vienna with her feeling pretty good and me feeling like dirt.

We made our way to her friend’s pad right outside the main train station of Vienna, the Hauptbahnhof Wien, so it was a quick 17-minute trip there, and then another 10-minute walk in the dark.

Her friend taped her key to her neighbor’s mailbox, so the Firecracker reached in and pulled it out.

Soon, we were in in her friend’s apartment; the Firecracker wanted to shower, and I just wanted to nap.

She managed to shower but I still couldn’t sleep.

We arrived on the last day of the Vienna Christmas Market and she’d never been to one in Europe before so we bought an unlimited ticket for the week and hopped the tram right into the city center.

This lady named Nena once said something like, Some where, in foreign cities, in the nighttime, you dream of past parties.

That’s true, or at least, you dream of your possible pasts.

I’ll tell you all about the Christmas market and such in the next entry.

Location: back in the states and eating my weight in Chinese food
Mood: busy, busy, busy
Music: Irgendwo in fremden Städten träumst do von vergang’nen Feten In der Nacht (Spotify)
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Happy New Year, 2024!

Wrestling with Angels

Was planning on writing this whole entry about my trip to Vienna but I thought I’d take a little sidetrack to wish you all a Happy New Year.

The Firecracker and I went to the Albertina Museum and saw the Michelangelo and Beyond exhibit and saw a whole buncha things that I could tell you about.

But the thing that stuck with me was the sculpture called The Wrestlers, which is actually not by Michelangelo but by an unknown Roman sculptor.

This is actually a copy but still…

The interesting thing about this sculpture is that it’s a pretty common move even today called the “cross-body ride,” and the top wrestler would probably move to a position called a twister or a guillotine.

You can see a ton of modern examples of this on YouTube.

Now, a decade ago, I wrote about Jacob wrestling the angel and, just like that wrestling move, a lotta what I wrote there is still applicable now.

I find wrestling such an interesting activity because – like the dumpling – every nation has its own version.

Because it’s such a human thing to do; it’s a hallmark of our very species.

Not just literally but figuratively as well. I think I’ve spent the last several years wrestling with my demons and still do.

Woulda been a lot more impressed with this sculpture if the artist put in cauliflower ears like the Greek Boxer of the Quirinal.

Still, we all wrestle with our fate and hope to overcome. One day we’ll be overcome ourselves.

I’m 50 now and I’ll be 51 in 2024.

Dunno how much longer I can actually wassle. But I hope that I’ma scuffle and struggle until I’m breathless and weak – both literally and figuratively.

Hope you do as well.

Here’s to the new year, everyone!

Location: yesterday, at a Viennese cafe with the Firecracker
Mood: missing the boy
Music: In the locust wind comes a rattle and hum; Jacob wrestled the angel and the angel was overcome (Spotify)
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We’re on a quest, kid – Pt 2

Technically, it’s a keyboard

Getting back into the city was also fun.

We were supposed to head up to Ricky and Kathy’s for some clothes and stuff for the kid, so we headed to their pad in the East Village first.


This was actually shot on the way to Red Hook.

Wanted to take a ferry there as well but I couldn’t make the timing work, so we caught the express bus instead.

We found ourselves passing the same churro store the Firecracker and I were at just a week earlier.

Kathy was out and Ricky was feeling under the weather, so we just grabbed the stuff and left.

Him: A piano!
Me: Well, technically, it’s a keyboard.
Him: A keyboard!
Me: (laughing) Yes.

But we weren’t done yet.

I’d pulled him from his playdate with his friend Ralph but had a second one lined up for him with his friend, Chuck so we hightailed it back to the UWS, where we promptly found ourselves in the middle of another street fair.

Now, I still gotta tell you what the quest was for in the first place, but I felt that deserves an entry all its own.

Until then, here are some more pics.

Good god, I have a huge head…

Location: a playground with the kid, typing furiously on my laptop
Mood: beat or coming down with something
Music: I know we’re onto something good (Spotify)

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We’re on a quest, kid – Pt 1

All over the city

Me: You gotta leave Ralph’s place a bit early today.
Him: Why?
Me: Cause we’re on a quest, kid!

Early this past weekend, I grabbed the kid from his friend’s place, and we hightailed it down to Wall Street to catch a ferry.

Except for the Staten Island Ferry and the one to Govenor’s Island, I’m not really a ferry person.

But the kid is, and I definitely see the appeal.

We stopped off first at Atlantic Ave /BBP Pier 6…

…before ending up at Red Hook.

A cruise ship had just pulled in.

But we were in search of some loot.

I’d been to Red Hook a few times in the past; where we needed to be was going to be about 100 minutes from my pad by train and bus but with the ferry, it took less than half that time – maybe 45 minutes?

Where I needed to be was only an 8-minute walk from the pier.

Walking there, I passed these building and realized that I’d been there before – it’d taken me some two hours to get there from my apartment in the past; this was waaaaay before there was even a ferry service there.

Him: Why are we stopping?
Me: I’ve been here before. Years ago. When you mama was still here.

Like I always say, I keep running into old ghosts…

I got what we needed to get so we started to head back to the city for the next leg of our quest.

I’ll tell you what we went to Red Hook for in another entry.

Him: I’m hungry…

But we had to stop for food first.

Him: I want an egg sandwich.
Me: Not for $12!
Him: The chocolate croissant is $5.
Me: (dammit) Fiiiine…

There’s something humbling about being had by a seven-year-old.

We made it back to the pier as the ship was filling up with people…

…but the kid was pretty absorbed by the fact that the floodwaters from Hurricane Sandy were so high.

Him: REALLY?!
Me: Yup! Crazy, right?
Him: (shaking head) Crazy…

We still had more places to be, but I’ll tell you about that in the next entry.

Location: on top of my windowsill with the Firecracker, installing insulation
Mood: seriously exhausted
Music: stop the ship from sinking, let me drag you back to shore (Spotify)

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Travelogue: Mexico 2023 Pt 4 – Ruined Ruins

We almost got stranded in Mexico

There were a lotta fun activities on the ship for the kids but every so often – besides eating and catching up on some reading – there was something that I really liked.

Like the baby race.

I’m honestly embarrassed how hard I laughed at it all.

And, while the food wasn’t quite as good as I had on the NCL and Celebrity ships I had in the past, did manage to eat my weight in shrimp and snow crab every day for lunch.

Her: You’re not eating anything else?
Me: God, why would I? Maybe a salad, though…

And, while we didn’t get a chance to get onto a glass-bottom boat, we did get to go on one excursion in Mexico in Cozumel…

…to see some Mayan ruins, which was incredibly cool.


For the most part, the trip was fun for everyone; no major fights or anything of the sort.

Honestly, after my past few relationships, it’s kinda shocking to just have a fight/argument-free vacation. It was…refreshing.

Which is not to say it was perfect.

The kid and I got into a tiff because he disobeyed me about something and put himself into a lotta danger AND we almost missed our bus getting back to the ship.

Which, of course, woulda ruined our trip entirely as that meant we might have missed the ships sailing home.

The tour operator was not messing around when he said he’d have to leave us behind if we weren’t back on the bus in time because they actually left a family of four that were sitting in front of us on the bus behind.

So, I read him the riot act once we got back to the ship.

Me: You gotta make better decisions, kid.
Him: OK, papa. I’m really sorry.

Honestly, that unpleasantness aside, I’m really not sure a kid could ask for more when it comes to a nice vacation.

Besides the parties, there were fireworks on the ship – twice!

Room service dessert…

…and a pirate night.

Ultimately, the kid didn’t wanna leave the ship and asked if we could come back again the following year.

Me: Well, if you pay for it, for sure. But we may need to wait a little while before we can come again.
Him: But we can do it again, someday?
Me: Sure. Someday, kid.

Him: Promise?
Me: Promise.

Back to the real world in the next entry, folks.

Location: Alphabet City, having some dumplings in a playground
Mood: fat
Music: I don’t wanna leave but I got places I wanna be (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Mexico 2023 Pt 3 – Hot Diggity Dog!

A pit stop in the Bahamas

Him: I wanna go to the Kid’s Club again.
Me: OK, I’ll bring you there after dinner.
Him: Hot Diggity Dog!

I’d cruised on a number of other ships before, but this was the first time on Disney.

Friend: You like cruising just because you can read? You can read anywhere!
Me: It’s not the same.

It’s true. There’s nothing like reading a book, looking up, and seeing the above.

Now, I get while cruising isn’t for everyone – the expanse of the sea can be overwhelming at times.

But I – very much – like the idea of being cut off from the internet and everyone else to do simple things like spend time with the kid and just…read.

Suppose we never leave our childhood too far behind.

While I did once go on a cruise that had a hot dog stand, this particular ship had a shawarma/gyro station, which was much preferred.

Him: What are you gonna have for dessert, papa?
Me: A gyro.
Him: (sighs) You’re so silly.

While that was a draw, the main appeal of it to me was the “Kid’s Club,” where the kids could go to have some fun with their peers, and I could have some time to myself and the Firecracker.

This was actually my dessert…more than once.

It was really awesome as a single parent, especially because – by the end of the trip – the boy had a deeper sense of autonomy.

Actually, we both had a deeper sense of his autonomy as he would go to many of the events himself or the Firecracker’s kid.

Considering that he’s gonna be able to self-dismiss at school in a couplea years, this was a good thing.

Still, it’s wild to see him grow up so quickly.

A little too quickly.

Me: Tomorrow, we have an excursion.
Him: Yeah, baby!
Me: Where are you learning this stuff?!

We stopped at the Bahamas where we were supposed to go on a glass-bottom boat but, like that time in St. Martin, it was cancelled because of the weather.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to go, because that crazy storm Hillary that ended up slamming into California made itself, and its friends, known where we were in the Bahamas.

So, we just spent time on the beach.

Which, honestly, wasn’t a bad way to spend a day.

I cautioned the boy that he had to be covered in sunscreen or he’d get sunburned.

Evidently, I was so focused on him that I forgot – completely – to put it on myself. I got sunburned so badly that my face blistered.

Her: I burn all the time but… I’ve never seen anyone blister like that before.
Me: Well, it’s been a while since it happened to me but, here we are.

I wasn’t miserable for the remainder of the trip but I coulda been better.

The alcohol helped.

We ended up having to run to the ship because it started to thunderstorm but everything turned out fine.

Him: I can’t wait to get back home…I mean the ship!
Me: (laughing) I know what you meant, kid.

Location: on the phone with NYC, trying to understand alla my taxes
Mood: grumpy
Music: He must have somewhere that he’s going (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Mexico 2023 Pt 2 – Oh yeah, baby!

Mexico by way of Miami

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid didn’t know the other was going on the trip and we both managed to keep the surprise for a while.

The Firecracker told her kid before they reached the airport but I waited until the kid was there to tell him what was going on.

Him: I thought you said we were going on a Disney cruise with them next year.
Me: I did…but that doesn’t mean we can’t go this year as well.
Him: Hey…!

The truth is that it’s unlikely we can do something like this every year, what with budgeting and all, but it was nice to surprise him with something where he would have a friend.

Oh, this was the very first cruise where I didn’t leave outta NYC or NJ; we had to get to Miami first, hence, the airport.

The trip there was pretty uneventful, however, I had a bit of panic when I thought I forgot to pack all of his chargers

Turned out that TSA simply moved them to a different compartment of my obscenely large bookbag.

We spent the night in a Miami hotel room, but not before we had a quick dinner at Chili’s.

Me: I don’t want to risk us getting sick before the trip.
Her: Absolutely.

Our server was from Queens, NY, which was a nice touch.

The night was rough because we were right by a canal and people in yachts kept playing their obnoxiously loud dance music until at least 4AM.

I musta gotten no more than three hours of sleep.

We arrived on the ship the next day; the Firecracker and her kid had been on the exact ship before so they told my son everything they could about it.

The kid, being so young, still wasn’t convinced he’d have fun.

Him: There’s a water slide? ON the ship?
Me: Yup!
Him: Oh yeah, baby!

Told him that, if he first ate some fruit and/or vegetables, I’d be somewhat lenient with him on the trip when it came to his food choices.

I can pretty much sum up alla our food conversations like this:

Him: I want a burger and fries.
Me: OK, as long as you have a salad or some fruit first.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I think he musta had burgers for 9 outta 10 of the meals the whole trip.

I can’t say the same as we ate everything.

Seriously, everything.

But this is getting long so I’ll tell you more in the next entry.

Location: 5AM, cleaning up buckets of vomit because the kid ate something questionable
Mood: grossed-out
Music: Can we still pretend when the summer ends? (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Mexico 2023 Pt 1

First Class and With Children

Robert Benchley once said, “In America, there are two classes of travel: First class, and with children.”

Well, I recently traveled with two kids, and it wasn’t awful.

See, the boy’s seven, soon to be eight.

My MILs taken him across the country to see his cousins, my BIL, at least twice now, maybe three times? And my SIL’s taken him to a few beach vacations, while the ABFF’s taken him away to some upstate pool parties.

Me? Well, with the exception of heading to see my buddies in other states for BBQs, Legoland, and Great Wolf Lodge, I feel that I’ve not really taken him away any place significant in all these years.

When I first met the Firecracker, she mentioned that she and her kid were gonna head to a Disney Cruise.

Her: Have you ever been?
Me: Cruising? Yeah, I love cruising.
Her: What about a Disney cruise?
Me: Never had a kid when I went cruising a lot so, def not.
Her: You should do it. It’s great – the kids go to a private party, and you get some adult alone time.
Me: Sold!

Within a week of our meeting, she told me all the details about her cruise and invited me to maybe go with her.

Me: (laughing) What if we don’t get along and my kid and I book the trip?
Her: It’s big enough for us to completely avoid each other.
Me: These are compelling points.

I actually had a friend of my sister’s hold a cabin for me two doors down from her cabin. Because…well, hope springs eternal. And I had a good feeling about her.

Obvs if it didn’t work out, I woulda just cancelled the hold. But we clearly got along so well that I ended up telling her a few months after we were dating that I did that.

Her: You did? You’re coming?
Me: Looks that way.
Her: Yay! This will be great.
Me: That’s the thing with relationships: The difference between romantic and stalker is just whether or not the person’s into the romantic stalker.
Her: That is so true.

So, the kid and I took a trip to Miami – and some other places – with the Firecracker and her kid the other day.

I’ll tell you all about it.

Location: bed, waiting until noon to leave
Mood: headachy
Music: we talk about life but I wanna live it (Spotify)
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A Double-Date in NJ

A reason to live in the burbs

Me: I’m not sure I should head to the gym. I’ve got so much to do.
Her: Go. You missed so many days that it’ll be good to clear your head.
Me: OK.

Because I had COVID, I lost a solid week of projects that I was planning to do while the kid was away.

As soon as I felt better, I threw myself into my unchanged list of tasks to do.

One major thing I’d not done in years was to clean out all the kid’s old toys, clothes, and papers from the past two years. After three days, his room still just looked like it vomited up everything.

Now, the Firecracker and I were supposed to head out to see Pac and his girl for dinner but I didn’t think I could make it.

Pretty much told him we weren’t going to come because once I got back from the gym, it would be a solid six more hours of work that I needed to do to make it in time to toss everything for that week’s trash and recycling.

But when I got back, the Firecracker intercepted me.

Her: Hey, I wanna show you something.
Me: Do I have to? I’m so beat.
Her: Yeah. I think you’ll like it.

It turns out that, while I was gone she spent two hours cleaning up the kid’s room and did in two hours what woulda taken me four hours. So, I had two hours to wrap it all up.

Me: Well, it looks like we’ll be there tonight.
Pac: Great! Come by at 6PM.

So, after I did what I could with the kid’s room, off we went.

It was raining when we left but we arrived at Port Authority with just three minutes to spare for the next bus.

Her: If you navigate, I’ll buy tickets on my phone.
Me: Sold!

So, while she was face down on her phone buying tickets, I got us to the right gate in two minutes and 30 seconds. We arrived just moments before the bus pulled out.

Now, we thought we took the wrong bus because we didn’t know it first went south before heading north (Pac lives in the north part of NJ) but we ended up being right on time.

Pac and his girl were just great. Turns out that she has a green thumb, something I aspire to.

Me: These plants are just amazing! I never thought of having a succulent garden.
Him: She has them as a kinda meditative thing.
Me: Oh man, my plants just give me agita.

We brought some alcohol while they ordered a ton of fried Korean chix, which we demolished.

Afterward, we played a game of Exploding Kittens, which I lost and came in last…

…then a game of Spot It, which I lost and came in last.

Me: This stinks!
Firecracker: Oh, you’re just mad because you keep losing.
Me: Well, yeah…

We ended up just chatting until late.

Afterward, we grabbed a Lyft home.

Her: Your friends are really nice. We should invite them over some day.
Me: Sure. Pac’s by alla time but it’d be nice to have him and his girl over one day.
Her: Would you ever live out here in the burbs, Logan Lo?
Me: Maybe. If I had a good reason.
Her: (nodding) Maybe you’ll have one, someday.

Location: Paxibellum, shooting more Scenic Fights and getting more crotches tossed into my face
Mood: potentially seriously messed up. I’ll tell you later on if I am
Music: Its gettin hot in here (so hot) (Spotify)
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