In a last-minute decision, I decided to bring the boy out to NJ to spend the weekend with his grandparents so that the Firecracker and I could work on a personal project of ours.
To that end, I was scheduled to head out to NJ, drop the kid off, and come right back, for an approximately 180-minute, round-trip excursion.
Welp, my luck held ever to form. Because I dropped the kid off without issue but the return trip was delayed a solid hour, so my three-hour round trip took four hours.
Once I made it back into the city, I ran to the restaurant where the Firecracker was waiting for me.
Me: I’m so sorry I’m late. Her: It’s fine. I’m just happy to see you.
We were gonna go to a restaurant that Pac had suggested to us but the wait on that was an hour, so we just ended up going to my regular joint, Jongro – the last time I was there was with my buddy Bridget.
The Firecracker actually wasn’t all that hungry cause I was so late so it was mostly me that ate all the food.
Even that wasn’t enough, so I ordered a pancake that feeds 2-3 people and ate almost alla that myself.
Afterward, we went to a rooftop bar called K-32, right across the street.
There were only a handful of other people there because it was supposed to rain (but didn’t) so it just me and her.
Since it was just us, I ordered my fave drinks: Oversweet girly drinks made of rum.
Me: Don’t judge me for my drink. I like them like I like my women: Sweet and with fruit. Wait… Her: (shaking head and turning to the bartender) Can you do something to make it more manly? Like put a tool belt around it or something. Bartender: (nods) I’ll fix ya up!
As my dumb luck would have it, a few months ago, I randomly decided to schedule a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos for this past Thursday and Friday with the Firecracker, the Surgeon and his wife, plus another lawyer and his kid.
Well, it was more that the Firecracker is a huge, huge fan of theme parks.
Her: What if the air’s worse up there? Me: Welp, we’re about to find out.
This worked out amazingly because we were able to leave the city and spend the next two days indoors at a water park with climate control.
So, we went from this…
…to this…
…and this.
The kids all had a blast…
…although the adults also had fun.
Gotta say, I was pretty high-strung when we first got there because I really wanted him to wear a floatation vest but the kid was 100% against the idea.
Ultimately the Surgeon told me to relax because there were lifeguards everywhere. Then he bought drinks for everyone.
Me: Well, if you’re sure… Him: Look, Logan, there are five adults here. Combined, we would be one good parent. And, really, that’s all you need.
Honestly, the only negative about the trip was that the food was pretty awful (health-wise) and expensive.
Although I tried my best to counteract it for myself; the kid was all-in for the junk food, though.
We had alla these plans to either head out to get tacos or eat at the nice restaurant in the park but we were all so beat from the day that we just ordered food from the same place as lunch and had it outside our hotel rooms.
Except with a lotta alcohol.
The next morning’s food choices weren’t much better…
…although I did make the kid have some peanut butter to counteract some of it all.
The boy and his friends were probably in the water for six or seven hours the first day and at least three or four hours the second day.
Unfortunately, one of the Surgeon’s kids had cut her toe on something sharp in the water so they left early.
That meant that the kid and the Firecracker’s kid got to do other things.
The kids didn’t wanna leave but the Firecracker and I were both beyond beat.
Heading home, we came pretty close to running outta gas but made it to a gas station just in time.
By the time we got home, the air had pretty much returned to normal and we had ourselves a typical rest-of-the-weekend.
The kids had a blast, but I’m not sure I’m really a theme park kinda guy.
Then again, I suppose that this is all part of the job of being a parent.
Him: Thanks for bringing me to the Great Wolf Lodge, papa! Me: Did you have fun? Him: YEAH!! Did you? Me: (laughs) Sure. But all I really care about is that you had a good time, kiddo. Him: I did, I did!
Me: You know, when I’m free at night, I’m usually just sitting around reading IP law or something equally dorky. It’s not like I’m out cavorting with women Her: (look of disgust) You better not be cavorting, because if you’re cavorting, I’m aborting [this relationship]. Me: Oh my!
Like last year, I spent part of Memorial Day with my college friends at their pad out in Long Island.
The last time I was there, was almost a year ago – man, how quickly time flies these days – for the BJJ competition that I was part of.
This time, though, things were pretty different. For one, the kid was away in NJ with my in-laws but the Firecracker and her kid joined us.
The Firecracker’s kid wanted to check out the new LIRR station at Grand Central, so we went there first…
…it was enormous.
We got to the train without issue and, some 90 minutes later, we were at my friends’ place.
Most of them met her during the 90s party but this time, we were out for most of the day so everyone had a lot of time to get to know each other.
The kids all got along great.
Most of the people there were Asian so there was an educational portion of the BBQ, which was teaching them how to play beer pong.
Sans beer of course. We’re not monsters.
Well, they’re not.
One buddy Bill and I were the only adults that went into the pool.
While I was doing that, my buddy Rick was prepping the branzino for the grill…
…he did a really good job…
…although the kids were only interested in the prototypical Memorial Day BBQ fare.
Which I ate as well…but with the low-carb wraps I brought.
Him: Logan, you know all the chips that you’re eating have carbs in them too, right? Me: I’m offsetting, dude!
I was mainly waiting for the serious meats to make an appearance…
…which they did…
…and then some.
By the time the soup came out, I was beyond stuffed.
But, in my defense, I didn’t have any dessert.
I didn’t have any of the dessert because one of the people there had a peanut allergy and I can’t eat sweets without offsetting the impact of them with peanut butter.
(No, seriously, it does – peanut butter is my secret weapon to stay slim while eating sweets).
Her: This is called a “lobster tail,” Logan. Me: I could go for a real lobster tail right about now, to be honest.
It was a great and long day; it was so nice to see my friends so regularly and with the Firecracker in tow.
Me: So, what do you think kid? Did you have a good time? Her kid: Yes! Me: Maybe we’ll go again next year if they invite us? Her kid: (nods, smiles)
By the time you read this, May will be over.
I’m still here. This is a pleasant surprise. At least, to me.
Location: my gate today, realizing someone ripped the lock off of it because of sheer stupidity
Mood: so, so, so, so, so irritated
Music: happy, like the first day of summer (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Her: What are your Mother’s Day plans? Me: The usual, try to take over the world. Why?
The Firecracker was going to Governors Islandwith her kid for Mother’s Day and invited us to join them. It was supposed to be a gorgeous day and I’d never been before, so I agreed.
Sunday, I woke up earlier than usual – and also broke my fast earlier than usual – to bring the kid down Manhattan on the Greenway. Google said it would only take 30 mins so I budgeted 45 minutes for myself.
What neither Google nor I adequately factored in was just how many people would be out and about for a beautiful Sunday; trying to pass countless clueless people taking up the entirety of the pathway was trying.
By the time we got downtown, it was already 10:57 and the line seemed ginormous.
Me: The line for the ferry is ridonk. Not sure we’ll make the 11AM ferry. Her: Uh oh. It usually leaves right on time, too.
But, we managed to get on at the tail end.
It was a gorgeous day to be on the water and out and about.
The boy’d been to Governors Island before with his sitter and some other care takers but this was my first time.
We got off the ferry and immediately hopped onto the bike to make our way to where the Firecracker was.
Because the island is so small, we were there in no time.
She and her kid had their electric scooter and we had our bike so navigating around the island was pretty easy.
It was nice watching the two of them play.
Considering how many people were there on the gorgeous holiday, it was still pretty spare compared to our normal crazy Manhattan Sundays.
She made lunch for everyone so we found a nice place to eat first before finding activities for the kiddos.
We went to Slide Hill and the kid tried out the longest slide in NYC at three stories tall!
I might have also tried it once…
That’s the kid asking, “How was that?”
Afterwards, the kids played in a place called The Yard, where no parents are allowed…
…while the Firecracker and I found a nice shady porch in one of the many abandoned buildings and just chatted.
Her: The picture of you with long hair? Fire! Me: Yea? Maybe I’ll grow out the top and keep the sides short. Can’t do the opposite, that would be a mullet. Her: I know what a mullet is, Lo. I’m from the South.
The kid and I explored the island a bit more…
…before we hopped the ferry back.
She took her scooter up the Greenway while I took the bike up; we lost each other because idiots kept taking up the entire lane and holding everyone back.
Everyone was so exhausted so I offered to pick up McDonalds for everyone and we just ate it at the local playground before calling it a day.
Him: That was fun. Did you have fun? Me: Were you there? Him: (puzzled) Yes? Me: Then I had fun. Because I was with you.
Location: earlier today, West 72nd Street and Broadway, watching a homeless man smash a chair and trip and old lady for no apparent reason
Mood: chilly
Music: There’s a hole in my soul, can you fill it? (Spotify) Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Me: Do you wanna go on a small adventure? Her: With you? Yes!
After celebrating my birthday numerous times over the past few weeks, the Firecracker had a slow week so I asked if she wanted to have a really long lunch one weekday.
She’d been wanting to head over to Los Tacos #1 at the Chelsea Market for some time and it was a gorgeous day so I suggested that we both hop onto my electric bike, which is actually a two-seater.
Unfortunately, we only made it a couple of blocks before the tire came off of the rim.
Her: Do we have to head back? Me: (shaking head) Nah, I think I can fix it. I inflated the bike on its tires but I shoulda flipped it over. I can fix this.
While she watched the bike, I ran back to my pad, got what I needed and came back to fix the bike.
After a few minutes, we were back on track.
Me: How you doing back there? Her: OK…I think.
The weather could, honestly, not have been nicer. We actually went down to the tip of Manhattan to the Financial District and took a walk around.
After a bit, we both got hungry and headed up to Los Tacos #1 at the Chelsea Market.
I found a seat…
…while she went to grab food.
Of course, it wasn’t enough food for me but there was ANOTHER taco joint right next door – owned by the same people – called Los Mariscos, which was their fish taco place so I ordered more food there.
Me: Do you want anything else? Her: No, I’m stuffed. Me: More for me, then.
So, she sat and people watched while I continued to eat.
Afterward, we hopped back on the bike and went up to the Winter Garden, which I’ve always loved.
She’d never been.
We got her a coffee there and looked at the crowds of business people there, out for happy hours drinks.
She managed to ring her mom to tell her all about it too. I thought that was cute.
I told her that I was there when it first opened…
Her: I was like one or two then, Logan!
…and I was there again after they repaired it after 9/11.
It was one of the more fun mid-day trips I’ve had in my life.
Although, there were some unexpected things that put a slight damper on things.
Me: That was so much fun! It woulda been perfect except, man, my butt is sore. Her: Me too! Me: Worth it though. Her: (nodding) Totally worth it.
Location: picking up the boy from the Lincoln Center movie theater. He kept wanting to toss popcorn into things.
Mood: exhausted
Music: baby…time’s passing by (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
This past weekend, I unlocked another level: I brought the kid to a theme park.
It was the first time I’d brought him to one; my in-laws had taken him to things like this in the past but this was a first for me.
The Firecracker is a huge theme park person. She used to live in Florida and would live close to Disneyland just so she could go on the regular.
We’ve lived very different lives, which is kinda what makes it all so interesting.
In any case, we got tickets to Legoland, which is just over an hour away.
Unfortunately, while the rest of the week was nice, the day we chose to go, it was supposed to be raining cats and dogs.
The night before, the kid and I went all over Harlem trying to find a poncho for him.
We ended up borrowing one of his friend’s jackets – which you can see below – just so he had something.
The next day, with my brother staying with me, the Firecracker and her son showed up bright and early in the rain for us to make the trek up.
The drive up was pretty uneventful but once we got up there, both kids were overjoyed. It was sweet to see.
They went straight for alla the rides. Because of the rain, we didn’t have to wait long for any of the rides.
And the rain came down pretty hard at times…
…but after only about ninety minutes, it cleared up.
By the afternoon, the sun was out and it was 70+. Both kids were hot.
And a lot more people showed up so we actually had to wait in lines for some of the rides.
The kids were only so interested in the displays, although they both loved the NYC stuff.
Me? I found things like the singing Mt. Rushmore stuff a hoot.
I really need to get out more.
The kid, shockingly, really wanted to get onto the biggest roller-coaster they had.
The Firecracker and her kid skipped that, so he and I went on it and, damn if that kid wasn’t having the time of his life on that thing.
He musta gotten that from his mom because roller-coasters were never my thing.
He wanted to go on it again but the ride actually broke down right after we got off of it and he was pretty bummed.
But he perked up when other rides became available as the park dried out.
He’s the kid in orange with his arms outstretched.
It was closing time before we knew it.
Me: What do you want to do for dinner? Do you wanna do something really suburby like Houlihans or TGIFridays? Her: How about Red Robin? Me: Oh, I’ve never been. Her: (shocked) Well, we have to go then!
We punched in the addy for the nearest Red Robin and off we went.
Once we got there, I ordered the double burger, which I could hardly get my mouth around. It was glorious.
Plus, we just kept getting refills for drinks and sides. It was my kinda joint.
It actually the Firecracker’s birthday around then so I told one of the waitstaff and they came out singing Happy Birthday and gave her a sundae.
Her: Logan! Did you…?
Me: Happy birthday, Firecracker!
She was embarassed but I think liked the gesture.
Afterward, we made it home and it started raining again.
It was a really “family,” thing we did and I was happy for that. The kid had a great day, which made me happy.
Me: Did you have a good time? Him: (sleepily) Yes, papa. Can do we do it again someday? Me: Someday, sure, yeah. Goodnight, kid. Him: Goodnight, papa.
Location: earlier today, the Emerald Inn with my brother, asking for a manly drink and fish and chips, minus the chips.
Mood: dreaming of double burgers
Music: we can’t run from the wind and the thunder (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
It had a high in the mid 50s but then a low of 7 degrees. It was so cold that we contemplated closing the gym but decided to just keep it open.
Speaking of gyms, the kid was great all week – he got another stripe on his BJJ belt to boot – that I relented when he asked if I could get him a Happy Meal before we went to the gym.
Damn, that company knows how to work kids.
In any case, it was good that we kept the gym open because it was 19 degrees outside that night but inside was pretty comfortable.
I had these ideas to improve the R-values of our insulation and it was nice to see that what we implemented did the trick.
Me: Considering that we’re all not wearing shirts, I’d say this was a success. Him: Or, we’re right by the showers. Me: Don’t take this from me. It’s the holidays.
Speaking of the holidays, I’d been meaning to spend time with my mom but I didn’t like the thought of Alison’s parents spending it with just the two of them, so we made the trek out there.
It was so cold, not even the pidgins wanted to be outside.
Son: Will you stay overnight? Me: Do you really want me to stay? Him: Of course! You’re my papa.
Usually, we have a pretty nice meat dish – like a prime rib or something – but this year we had homemade meatballs and baked ziti.
I wasn’t complaining.
Plus, when my MIL picked me up from the station, she brought this:
Me: God, you know me so well. Thanks! Her: If it’s ok, I wouldn’t mind having a chicken breast. Me: I’ll consider it.
Although, the kid’s dessert had more iron than we were expecting.
Me: I think it’s a nut – and not the kind you eat! Her: How did that get in there? Me: You’re asking me?
There were a buncha things I’d been meaning to read/watch, including this one documentary called Fish & Men, which I found interesting.
Read the kid a book that my sister-in-law bought us years ago with a single dad and his son. Gotta say, it almost made me cry.
But I was surprised when the boy started to cry.
Me: Why are you crying? Him: I don’t know…I miss mommy. Me: (nodding) We can stop. How about a hug? Him: (nodding) Me: Sweeeeeet, cm’ere you…
I woulda stayed over longer but the heat stopped in my building and I’m the only one that understands how to work the boiler.
Me: OK, with the data you now know: There’s no heat in the downstairs units, but heat in the upstairs units, what can you conclude from this data, kid? Him: (thinking) The heat is stuck on the top and can’t come down. Me: (laughing) That’s not bad, actually. It’s something like that.
It’s weird, up until a month ago, the kid and I were the only males in the building; a fella just moved into one of the units but the rest of the building is all X-chromosomes who were decidedly cold.
So, I left a lot earlier than I planned because (a) I didn’t want them freezing in the single digits but (b) I also didn’t want my pipes freezing.
Because heat and pressure are closely linked, I had to increase the temp of everything to increase the pressure enough to force all the accumulated cold water in the radiators down the pipes but not so much that the whole thing…explodes.
Dying wasn’t high on my list of to-dos this holiday season (this time) so I kept a pretty close eye on the pressure gagues.
In the end, managed to fix it in just a couple of hours, so that was good and rewarded myself with some Korean soju that I had in the house.
All-in-all, it was a pretty nice Xmas, as my Xmases go.
Hopefully yours involved less fixing boilers and metal shards in your food and more time with your loved ones.
Him: I wish you could stay. Me: People need me to help them. We always try to help if we can, right? Him: I guess. Me: I’ll see you again before you know it, kid.
Location: earlier in the boiler room, with a portable speaker, a glass of soju, and a rubber mallet. I didn’t use one of those things.
Mood: frigid
Music: I can live off of your body heat, yeah baby (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Spent the week cleaning out alla my tech. Earlier, I was getting several hundred emails a day about new logins and signups to things I never signed up for. As the days went on, this got fewer and fewer.
Even had time to hit up the gym where I ran into these fellas…
By last night, I thought I was in the clear so I just tried to get some sleep.
But then my phone dinged and I checked. I’d gotten about six emails, all with the same header:
Logan607 – Important message
The thing is the body of the email was…all my passwords.
Like, ALL of them.
400+ passwords, plus a screenshot of my computer, plus a ransom demand.
Here’s the kicker: They not only emailed it to all my email addresses – past and present, they emailed them to Alison’s email address, several of my relatives, my ex-girlfriend, my business partner, my brother, AND a girl I went on a single date with months ago.
Her: I don’t think we’re right for each other. Me: Shame. Well, pleasure meeting you. Good luck on that dissertation, Janet. Her: It’s Jane. Me: (nodding) Yes.
It’s madness. I was pretty freaked out, I gotta say.
BUT, I had already taken something to help me sleep and it was kicking in hard for better or worse.
When I woke up the next day, I scrambled to get the kid to class and get back home to deal with the issue. Nothing made sense.
If they were gonna blackmail me, why blow out my Facebook and IG immediately? Why ask for a money demand in the same email where they blasted every single password I possessed to some 50+ people?
It seems less and less that it’s really about the money and more to make my life miserable – which, they accomplished. In spades.
So, the only question is how they gained access to everything.
There are only three people who have had regular access to my apartment since COVID and two are not on speaking terms with me and the third is…missing.
But, to be fair, (at least with one of the three) it seems less likely that it was something purposeful and more likely that someone may have social engineered information out of them.
In the end, though, the damage is done.
Spent six hours today, re-doing 400+ passwords and wiping two more computers – bringing the total number of systems I’ve wiped in my tiny apartment to a whopping 11 computers.
Why I have 11 computers for myself and a child is whole ‘nother matter….
Him: There’s a positive to all of this, you know. Me: And what’s that? Him: You’re even more prepared than you were last year. Me: Great. It’s cold comfort. Him: It’s cold comfort now. It’ll warm up the next time this happens. Me: Jesus Christ…why does there have to be a next time? Him: (shrugging) Because, you’re Logan. Shit happens to you because you’re involved in the world. Me: That was my first mistake. Fuck the world. Let it burn.
Location: my bedroom desk, surrounded by computer parts, equipment, and weapons
Mood: pissed and exhausted
Music: Who the fuck are you? (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Used to take the PATH all the time to see the ex before Alison.
You know, I started this blog 16 years ago because of that ex. How silly it all seems now.
After all these years, I never gave her a name so let’s call her the Girl Before Alison.
Anywho, I used to go to the GBA’s house alla time. Like every weekend, she’d head over to mine or I’d head over to hers. For years.
But walking up the stairs out of the Jersey City Grove Street Station, I didn’t remember a single time I did it to see her. Not a one.
Then again, I didn’t remember heading there in 2013 with Alison and I desperately wished I did.
This time around, I walked down the streets to meet up with Blond Banker, marveling at all the buildings but remembering none of them.
It’s like I peeked into someone else’s life, not my own.
Arriving at Barcade, I saw Blond Banker and immediately started chatting with her and some other people there.
Woman there: Here’s a [blank] name tag for you to write your name. Me: Do I have to put my real name? Her: …no?
Two women I met that night both lived within two blocks of my pad on the UWS; one lived some 300 feet from my pad.
Me: NO WAY! Her: I’m serious. I used to live XXX. Me: Wait, next door is where I took kali for 17 years. Her: Really!?
Everyone was very nice but I was too in my head. After a while, Blond Banker and I were hungry so we decided to get something to eat.
We were headed to a Thai joint when she asked if I wanted to eat at the rooftop bar at Porta so in we went.
Honestly, while John’s of Times Square is cool, Porta was gorgeous and looked better than John’s. That’s something.
We ordered a plate of meatballs…
…and a pizza.
Her: You’ve never had an arugula pizza? Me: They just put a salad on top of a pizza? (shrugging) Actually, it’s fine. I’ll eat it.
It ended up being pretty good. She only had a slice or so and half a meatball so I ate almost everything and was still hungry afterward. Of course.
We chatted about life in general and dating in the city.
Me: Honestly, as an attractive blond woman, I feel you could have your pick of men. Her: (rolls eyes) I hate the apps.
There’s more but I’m trying to keep things to my story alone, where possible.
She called an Uber after a bit and we sat on a bench looking at yet another pizza restaurant and chatting while we waited.
It was late when she hopped into the car to head home.
I was right at the entrance for the Grove street station to head back to my world when something compelled me to walk down the street I used to walk with the GBA.
Y’know…I don’t remember what the GBA looks like anymore. I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of her in well over a decade. I do remember her voice though.
I’d been drinking so it was a bit like sleepwalking, but I started walking down Grove Street past the station and found myself in 2002 again; two decades ago, when I was a much younger man
I wasn’t yet the story that people whisper to each other, “Oh, did you hear about what happened to Logan?!”
But I’ll tell you about that tomorrow because this is getting long again.
Location: last night, Astoria, celebrating a buddy’s 30th birthday at a beirgarten until late
Mood: so tired
Music: I wish I could hit rewind (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
