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personal

Our wedding day

Me: You ready?
Her: Yes.

The funny thing about picking a wedding date’s that you’re really picking an anniversary. We figured February’s always dreary so why not have a good reason to look forward to it?

———-

Last week, I took three last minute assignments for work. Combined, it was the equivalent of what I’d make in three weeks in three days so I couldn’t say no. Course, that meant that I was up until midnight each night working and then fighting the insomnia.

One client finished without a hitch on Tuesday but the second client needed the work product on Thursday morning so wrote it all up and packaged it for him to pick up in exchange for a check at 10:30AM.
We woke up on Thursday and while Heartgirl got ready, I finished up. The client pulled in front of my building and I hopped in.

Me: (handing him papers) Here you go. It should have everything you need.
Him: (pulling out check) Thanks for the quick turnaround on this Mr. Logan. You’re really getting married this week?
Me: Not this week. In 90 minutes.

Took his check, shook his hand, then popped out to zip back home to get ready – the great thing about being a fella’s that y’can get dressed to the nines in nine.

Her: Men. It’s not fair.

Just before I turned off the computer, shot a contract to the last client and him I’d be offline until the weekend.

Cabbie dropped us off at Worth and Centre where her sister was waiting for us. We went inside to speak to the guy at the desk; some lady was yelling him for some reason. After all the yelling, he turned to us, asked us for some id and our paperwork. After he checked it all, gave us a number, C930, and we took a seat.

45 minutes later we sat in the west room chapel and waited. We looked at the books from the 1940s where people signed their names. Everything’s all digital now. A smiling lady came in and told us to stand in front of the podium.

“Do you take this…”
“I do.”
“I do.”

Maybe 59 seconds later we were legal. We hopped a cab up to the London Hotel, which turns out not to be in London but rather in midtown, NY. Her sis took us out to eat and we ended up having a two hour lunch before she took off for home.

We then went upstairs to our suite where we did what all newlyweds have done for hundreds of years – we watched Robin Hood on Netflix. She passed out before it was over.

Met up with RE Mike that Friday night and checked out the space he rents. He and the restaurant owners brought us a coupla bottles of champagne. Told the owner that I’d return the favour with a bottle of good rum.

Spent the resta the weekends trying out the words “husband” and “wife.” Quite surreal, lemme tell ya.

Both sets of parents were thrilled – always a good sign.

Told her to tell her parents to rest easy cause I’d always take carea her and do mosta the cooking.

She is, after all, family. I’d keep her safe.

Location: in fronta stacks of paper
Mood: good
Music: There’s a hole in my pocket that’s about her size but I think everything’s gonna be alright
YASYCTAI: Spring cleaning soon. (120 mins/1 pt)
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personal

By the time you read this, I’ll be married

By the time you read this post, Heartgirl and I will be married. Or at least enroute. Edit: 10:47PM – Married

———-

Passed her green eyes three years ago exiting a bar downtown. Asked WM to introduce us.

Her: Alison.
Me: Logan. (shaking her hand) Well look at us – we’re like ships in the night; you’re stepping in, I’m stepping out. We’d have lovely children, you and I, what with my looks and your brains. They’d be a shoe-in for the ivy league.
Her: What? (laughing) Then stay.
Me: Can’t. Got an appointment to keep. But New York’s a small town – ships in the night, yeah?

Location: home
Mood: happy
Music: you are the only exception and I’m on my way
YASYCTAI: Come back on Monday and I’ll tell ya stuff. (96 hours/1 pt)
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personal

Everyone’s got their own particular crazy

Her: (yelling from other room) Oh my god, come here, you’ve got to see this new technology thing…
Me: (running in excitedly)
Her: (laughing) Ha-ha, I tricked you. Do you like this stationary?
Me: Man, I totally fell for that. Not cool, man…

Still planning the wedding. We’ve been talking seriously about just eloping but even that comes with a lot of ancillary issues.

Met up with RE Mike for drinks at PJ Clark’s down a bit from me. Nice joint but no good rum. We got onto the topics of relationships. Didn’t work out with him and his latest girlie.

Me: Sorry to hear it. But you like what you like. Everyone’s got their own particular crazy.
Him (grinning) Yeah, look at you. You still write that blog and put down things like: “Location: my apartment. Mood: hungry.” That’s weird.
Me: (laughing) Ha, I suppose it is.

Mentioned to him that I’m looking for places to get hitched. Forgot that he owns a building downtown.

Me: Can you get us in?
Him: I could ask. If I could get you in, it’ll be my wedding gift to you.
Me: Sweeeeeeeet.

Speakinga wedding gifts, evidently white people have this thing called a registry. I’ve gone to a buncha weddings in my life, but being Chinese, just gave scratch. On good years, it was more, on bad years, it was less. But that was the gift.

In other news, posting on Thursday this week – sorry for all the jumping around lately, it’s the work. Until then, more differences between the Chinese and Americans to keep you entertained:

Location: my apartment
Mood: hungry
Music: without your love I would never have made it
YASYCTAI: Come back on Thursday morning. (72 hours/1 pt)
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personal

Watson is Skynet / Bad Robot…bad (2)

Me: This is the beginning of Skynet. It’s like no one’s learned anything from watching Hollywood movies.
Her: For serious!

Been watching the Jeopardy series which has this computer named “Watson” going against two of the best champions the show’s ever had.

Pretty interesting to see how computers are becoming more and more human-like. Was saying to someone the other day that when I went to school, people had just started using computer on a regular basis but I graduated college having never sent a single email. This was back when messages were left via blinking light.

In all seriousness, the Skynet thing is a unnerving in the sense that something else recently happened that most American’s aren’t aware of: Predator drones are now flying in US skies, something that’s never happened before. Sure, it’s a coincidence but it’s still weird.

Am pretty excited for the future and if anyone loves their electronic doo-hickeys, it’s this bright-eyed Chinese boy.

Still, gotta force myself outta the house and take a walk more often; just did that yesterday.

The real world, especially New York City, doesn’t really care if y’interact with it or not.

Her: Today was a good day for you.
Me: Why is that?
Her: Well, we made out, we had pizza, and you got to watch a computer compete against a person.
Me: Two people!

———-

Can’t believe this was four years ago – deserves another look:

Location: in fronta glowing things like always
Mood: artistic
Music: And how the days have flown too few & fast
YASYCTAI: Take a walk for lunch. (30 minutes/1 pt)
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Friends and weddings

Missed posting last Thursday – no real reason but I’ll tell you why some other time.

In other news, been planning the wedding. Parta the issue why it takes so long is that there’re so many people in my family. My family’s side alone, we’re talking over 100 heads. It’s pretty ridiculous. As for her, she’s got far less so if anything, it’ll be crazy lopsided. We’ve been talking more and more about just up and getting hitched ourselves and doing something for our friends and family later. Suppose we’ll see.

On a related point, the thing about cutting your friends is that the friends you’re left with, you don’t have to make excuses for:

Sorry, he’s a little snarky at times.
Sorry, she’s always like that.
Sorry, he does have his good points.
Sorry, I’ve known him for years, he went through a lot.

It’s exhausting.

Not all of your friends’ve gotta be smooth as silk but I got little tolerance for poor behaviour these days. When Steel and Bryson came by to learn to cook from my dad, they didn’t know each other but we all got along great. It’s a nice side benefit for having a low tolerance of general douchebaggery.

You don’t gotta have a lotta friends. Y’just gotta have ones that’re worth it.

Location: off to physical therapy shortly
Mood: tired
Music: want to be the best I can For me for you for everyman
YASYCTAI: Try to find more time to write. (60 minutes/1 pt)
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personal

Just cause I don’t like to fight, doesn’t mean I won’t

Me: (turning to face him) I gotta punch him.
Her: Don’t.
Me: Fine.

Went to have dinner to celebrate my buddy’s 30th. On the way there, this guy said something mildly racist – which I don’t actually ever hear any more in this day and age. Felt a strong urge to do the fella grave bodily injury and said as much but then I was reminded that I’m a 37 year-old lawyer fulla injuries. So I decided to get to the party and focus on some pernil asado, which was probably a better choice.

This’s all comedic cause I’m about the opposite of pugilistic. Unless you step up to my girl. Or if you’re a side of delicious Cuban roast pork.

At which point, I’d watch myself.

Wrestling coach: (in middle of class) Wait, you never saw Alien?
Me: No. (pause) Scary movies scare me.
Coach: (shakes and drops forehead into hand)

Location: Renting another car
Mood: productive
Music: call out the KKK, they’re wild after me
YASYCTAI: Know what you are. (60 minutes/1 pt)
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business

“Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work” – Einstein

Fell victim to the planning fall ofcy just a little while after I mentioned it.

Issue’s that I mixed up two due dates for two projects; the one due later, handed in earlier and vice versa. Normally, it’s not that big a deal, but the ice storm that just hit us means that I lose another 24 hours to get this done on time.

Thing with being in a service industry’s that if you screw up one time, you’re gone.

The kicker’s that I just need one nugget of information but the city official I call in this small town won’t give it to me. So I gotta drive up two hours on icy roads and then repeat on the way down – just for a single line of information.

This fella named Javier Pascual Salcedo said that, Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.

That sounds about right to me.

Location: heading to kitchen for coffee
Mood: annoyed
Music: keep the chill from freezing our own free will
YASYCTAI: Make some more phone calls and hope you can convince someone to help you. (120 minutes/1 pt)
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personal

Jaymay – Tragedy / Cooking with my dad

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-J10UG3FOg

Video I made from Jaymay’s concert I went to over summer. It’s a funny song called Tragedy; I’ve got a few more that I’ll edit when I can’t sleep.

———-

Me: Have you ever had a grilled cheese sandwich with a tomato in it?
Her: You know I’m white, right? That’s like me asking you if you’ve ever had an eggroll.

My friend Steel dropped by with his wife so we grabbed some rum around the way. Like me, he loves to cook; once made a chocolate ganache pie and he took one bite and knew that I forgot to put in some salt. Very impressive.

He and Bryson are going over to my parents this week. My pop used to be a chef – don’t think I ever told you that. He used have this Japanese restaurant upstate growing up.

S’funny, anything he couldn’t sell or was going bad, he’d bring home. So I ate a lotta lobster and sushi growing up. Used to complain, Why can’t we have burgers and pizza like everyone else?

Pretty surprised that my dad didn’t just beat the snot outta me as a kid.

Anywho, the fellas wanna learn from my pop and he’s got time this week. Me? I’m just there for the food.

My schedule one day this week’s gonna be brutal: Manhattan->Brooklyn->Queens->Yonkers-White Plains->Queens again->home. Still, running around to make some scratch’s better than running around for nuthin.

Usually.

Me: Used to have about 500 daily readers. But once I got into a good relationship, that dropped a lot.
Friend’s wife: Of course it did. Good relationship, job, life. Who wants to read about that?

Location: picking up the car
Mood: Busy again
Music: You can always count on me to bring you down
YASYCTAI: Start editing that massive list of files you said you would. (days/2 pts)
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Over three years later, still hate mice and AT&T

Mona Lisa on a NYC Building

The snow just keeps coming. Parta the reason I live in the city is because I thought I wouldn’t have to shovel. This is not true.

In other news, was all over the city and beyond this week: went to the boogie-down Bronx, Yonkers, White Plains, Queens and Long Island. All on the same day. So at least work’s picking up.

Been thinking about canceling AT&T for some time now – over three years actually – since my reception is horrid is non-existent stinks sucks bites leaves much to be desired. But they’re like the mafia; they keep pulling you back in. I’m like a crow with my love of new shiny.

But then PB sent me this link and I rang them up. Spoke to a nice young lady and convinced her to send me a 3G microcell free of charge.

I’m telling ya, the most valuable skill y’can have is an ability to talk to people.

But since this @#$@#$ comes from AT&T, of course it doesn’t work. Can’t believe I left Sprint all those years ago and got into something worse.

Guess that’s my project for the day.

Location: in fronta more blinking lights
Mood: frustrated
Music: So I traveled back, down that road
YASYCTAI: Try to resolve that issue. (120 mins/1 pt)
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personal

Online dating: eHarmony vs. Match vs. Plenty of Fish vs. OK Cupid

Which Dating Site is Right for you?

Cocktail party in NYC

 

When I was in college, the high point of the day was coming home to a blinking answering machine, meaning someone called and left a message. Before caller ID, email, voicemail, text messaging, IM, wall postings, and poking there was…a blinking light.

I heard people wondering about online dating and they ask, as if it’s a binary question: Should I do it – yes or no?

However, that’s the wrong approach. The better question is one of degrees: how much online dating should I do?

An online dating site should be on any singleton’s menu of meeting places, which is no longer limited to the local bar or random parties. As with most things, it’s the extremes that come across as weird, such as someone that only does online dating or someone that does no online dating at all.

The way I look at it, it’s like having a relative named, for example, Aunt eMatch that says, “I’ve got a girl I think you might like.” In fact, it’s better; it’s like Aunt eMatch saying, “I’ve got a girl I think you might like – and here’s her resume, a buncha pics, and a writing sample.”

So, which dating site is best for you? Well, I’ve personally used Match, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid. They all have some similarities as well as some major differences:

eHarmony
Major Difference
eHarmony is front-loaded, meaning that you have to fill out a ton of questions and essays ahead of time before you even start meeting anyone. This can take hours.

Best Aspect
After you’ve completed that first major step of filling out all of those questions and essays, you can essentially sit back as eHarmony sends you profiles of people that it thinks are right for you. I have friends that love this because it takes some of the trepidation out of meeting people; there’s always the sense that “Hey, eHarmony thinks we’d get along.”

Worst Aspect
You have to wait for eHarmony to get around to sending you profiles and you may not be a fan of whom it thinks you’d like. Moreover, if you’re interested in a same-sex pairing, you can forget about that here; heterosexuals only, please. Plus, it’s expensive.

Match
Major Difference
Match is the most similar to newspaper personals – it doesn’t try to be much more or less than that. This means that you’re pretty much on your own; Match lets you put up a personal page about yourself and then look around for others that you might like.

Best Aspect
You can have your profile up in 10 minutes, browse anyone else’s profile, and message whomever you’d like. Plus, there’s no restriction on who you can contact (opposite sex, same sex, anyone at all).

Worst Aspect
Anyone can have a profile up in 10 minutes, browse your profile, and message you. Also, each time you contact someone, you’re essentially starting with a cold introduction and have to write a tailored email/essay to each person. Unlike eHarmony, this means pretty much constant maintenance. Plus, Match never seems to delete profiles – mine is still up after three years of disuse. Consider that before you randomly message someone. Also, like eHarmony, it’s anything but cheap.

Plenty of Fish
Major Difference
Because it’s free, it boasts the single largest database of people. Like Match, it’s a fairly straightforward “personals” oriented website.

Best Aspect
I personally know of one marriage and a handful of relationships from Plenty of Fish because the barrier to entry is essentially zero. As a result of this, there are a jaw-dropping number of profiles to browse (this can also be put in the “worst aspect” category too).

Worst Aspect
Essentially the same as Match.com except that there’s very limited oversight (they only have three customer service staff members as of this writing) and there is a very wild west feel to it. It also looks as if they only have three customer service staff members there.

OK Cupid
Major Difference
Like Plenty of Fish, it’s free, but to get any real use out of the site, you have to go through online activities like answering polls and other questions. By doing this, you create a more data driven – versus opinion driven – profile of yourself. As such, OK Cupid is a bit like a combination of Match and eHarmony.

Best Aspect
Because it’s data driven, you are able to paint a more accurate picture of who you really are rather than who you perceive yourself to be. Moreover, there’s a “fun” quality that pervades the site. If you like fun and games, chances are good you’ll meet someone else who likes fun and games. Did I mention it’s free?

Worst Aspect
You have to answer a number of polls and questions so, like Match and Plenty of Fish, it’s pretty much continual maintenance only a bit more involved.

What’s the right site for you? Well, it depends on your personality.

  • If you like to do a lot of work upfront and then relax, eHarmony is the clear winner.
  • If you find that you play online games like Candy Crush Saga and are used to filling out online polls, OK Cupid is the one for you.
  • Match and Plenty of Fish are good if you just want a traditional personals-like forum to meet other people. If you want a more polished site with some “adult supervision,” Match is probably better for you; however, if cost is key, Plenty of Fish wins over Match.

Final thoughts
If you must choose one, consider OK Cupid as the price is right and you can test the waters before you write a check. A special note for women: for sites like Match and Plenty of Fish, your responses can be pretty overwhelming; it’s simply the nature of the site and men in general. This may be a good or bad thing depending on your tolerance for random email.

Men, since we get comparatively less contact than women on these sites, a good strategy might be to choose one paying site coupled with a complimentary free site: eHarmony plus Plenty of Fish or Match plus OK Cupid.

Regardless, with a good mix of online and offline interactions, you’ll have no excuse for being home on a Friday night.

If you liked this entry, I just wrote a quick little book in April 2014 on how to write A Great Online Dating Profile with 30 tips to get noticed and get more responses – it’s just $0.99 at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store, as well as most other online retailers:

A Great Online Dating ProfileI also wrote a book about first dates with information I just haven’t seen in other books that I learned from three solid years of dating in NYC.

A Great First Date, early 2014

It’s just $2.99 at at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store.

  • You can also read the first 25% of it online now by clicking here!
  • If you’re in the UK, you can visit our friends at: DatingPriceGuide.co.uk for their own take on eHarmony vs. Match.com.
  • Click on the Dating tag to see how my dating life went – the earlier stories are the more entertaining ones, IMHO. You can also click here to find out what finally happened to me.
  • Check out the comments to reach other people’s thoughts on these sites (and maybe leave a thought of your own).
  • Finally, click here to subscribe to this blog OR follow me on Twitter: @logan607

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