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personal

Four bars, one night, and a free TV

Using useless information

I’m really behind in alla my posts, sorry.

But I’m trying to catch up.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid were away, plus she was in the middle of moving, so I ended up helping her schlepp her stuff here and there.

Her: We have to bring this TV to my new place so I can give it away.
Me: What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s gonna rain soon. Just slap a sign on it that it’s a free TV and someone’ll take it.
Her: Are you sure? I’d hate for it to end up in a landfill.
Me: Trust me.

It was gone in a few hours.

After a full day of that and a million other errands, we decided to treat ourselves afterwards to a drink at a local bar.

We got some appetizers…

…and drinks.

But the night seemed super early yet.

Me: Do you wanna go someplace else?
Her: With you? Sure!

We soon found ourselves at my old bar Malachy’s – which just had a major face-lift – where we had some rum and diet coke.

But I was, of course, still hungry.

Her: I know a place near my old apartment with board games and $6 burgers.
Me: You had me at $6 burgers.

She was looking for the perfect game and found a trivia one called, I should have known that!

Her: Who wrote Robinson Crusoe?
Me: Daniel Defoe. Hey, did you know that it was based on a real person named Alexander Selkirk? Just before he died, he dreamt of being back on his island.
Her: You know a lotta useless information, Lo.
Me: We’re using it right now!

Of course, I ended up spilling hot sauce all over the cards.

Her: LOGAN! I can’t bring you anywhere.
Me: (sighing) Evidently not. I’ll get some paper.

After several drinks and food, we walked outta the bar.

Me: I want more food.
Her: We can get some chicken sandwiches and a pina colada over at Tiki Chick.
Me: Sold!

While the Firecracker went to the restroom, I chatted with the manager.

Me: Where in Africa are you from?
Him: Sengal.
Me: Oh. I loved a girl once that worked in Dakar.
Him: Really? That’s so great. Was that her?
Me: (shaking head) No. No, that’s my girlfriend. The girl from Dakar was…someone else. She…got sick.
Him: Oh. (gently) Your girlfriend is very pretty.
Me: (nodding) I think so too. Thanks.

Location: earlier tonight, walking all over LIC so the Firecracker could see the fireworks for the first time.
Mood: full and tired
Music: Come along, baby, we better make a start (Spotify)
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It’s Summertime again

New traditions

Years ago, Alison and I were taking a walk in the hood when we came across a fella at a street fair near our pad selling these cool oversized coasters.

Alisons loved them and picked out four large ones; they’re still the ones I use to this day.

Fast forward to the weekend after last and kid and I were hanging out with the Firecracker and her kid at another street fair when I met the same guy.

Me: I bought a buncha these from you years ago. We chatted about cameras.
Him: (big smile) I remember you!

Dunno if he really did, but it was nice for him to say.

I told the kid he could pick any four of the smaller sized ones and I’d get them for him; he did, so I did.

Him: Do you like them?
Me: You picked them out, so I like them.

Since it was the end of the school year, I told the kid he could have anything he wanted for dinner.

Despite us seeing some gorgeous dumplings and authentic German bratwurst…

…this is what he choose.

In my defense, I ate the vast majority of it all.

Him: Are you still hungry?!
Me: …well, I could eat a little…
Him: Papa!

Well, I could…

Dropped him with my in-laws for a spell – as I did last year.

It’s bittersweet, like most things with me, that we have these new traditions, he and I. But it’s not supposed to be like this.

Nuthin is as it was supposed to be.

I spent the day out with him in NJ and had a nice Afghani dinner before I left.

Me: I’ll miss you.
Him: I’ll come back!

It was just as well. There’s been alla this stuff that I needed to do around the house.

For example, there were years of leaks into my basement that I needed to fix…

…years.

So, I finally got that done.

Pac swung by to pick my (legal) brain for a project of his and brought over some pan-fried chix and ribs from Charles Pan-Fried Chicken.

He originally wanted some Cuban-Chinese around me but I told him that our buddy Half-man said this place was the bomb – the last time I had it was with the NFL Player.

Him: Man, this was definitely the better choice!
Me: Agreed!
Him: I may have gotten a little excited and bought too much stuff.

He did not.

It’s my first summer as a 50 year-old.

And yet, I’m as excited about it as I was as a child.

Me: I like you.
Her: (laughs) Oh, Lo…you don’t like me.
Me: I don’t?
Her: (shakes head, smiles) No, Logan Lo. You don’t.
Me: (nodding) Ah…

Location: yesterday, getting sprayed in the most unmentionable places at my buddy’s pool in Long Island
Mood: hopeful
Music: Romantic Piscean seeks angel in disguise (Spotify)
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All men are little boys…

…to the parents that love them

11 years ago, I went out with Alison to Jersey City for Alison’s grandmother’s 90th birthday.

I remember thinking that her grandmother was so lucky that she got to live 90 years.

Can’t tell you how much it upsets me that Alison lived so much less.

But, I suppose, that’s a conversation for another day.

I wrote about that day and I titled it: The hours drag but the years sprint away

Never realized just how true that statement was until I became a dad.

Seeing the kid every day, I don’t really notice how much he’s grown, day-by-day, but looking at pictures, I’m shocked how much he’s changed.

The fella that wrote The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe said something similar: Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different?

It’s so true.

Everything, and everyone, is so different now.

The kid finished school today.

It seems like we just started and it’s summer vacation already.

I (barely) remember taking him to preschool when he was just 18-months old and I gave him a rum-carrier as a bookbag.

Now, he’s a full-fledged kid with opinions – lots of them.

Me: How on earth do you not like 紅豆湯, kid? I loved that growing up.
Him: People like different things, papa.

Alison loved this kid so much the short time she was here with him. She woulda loved him to the moon and back if she could see him now.

As I do.

Met up with some a group of fathers from the school for some beer and tacos the other day.

I really only talked to two of them, but a solid eight people showed up. It was interesting finding out about their lives.

Me: You’re a lawyer? My condolences. (laughing) I’m one as well.
Him: What do you do?
Me: Drink, mostly. When I’m not raising the kid.

I could only stay out for about 90 minutes before I had to pick the kid up from a birthday party he was attending.

Still, it’s one of those things I think I’ll do again.

When the kid was really little, my brother sent me a song called Imaginary Tea that I wrote about before.

Thought of it again when I told the kid that he was done with school and that he was starting a whole new grade next year.

Him: Can you believe it?!
Me: (laughing) Not really, kid. Not really.

He loves this shirt and wears it *waaaay* too often – no idea why.

Suppose I’ll always think of him as a little boy, even when he’s not one any more.

Like I said in my last entry, I think I understand my dad now more than I ever have before.

After all, all men are little boys to the parents that love them.

Imaginary Tea

I love you more than you will ever know
I love you no matter what you do
I’m gonna hold you as long as you will let me
‘Cause you’re mine, I love you

I loved you before I heard ever heard your voice
Before I even knew your name
I loved you before I saw those pretty eyes
I loved you right away

So, take it slow
Before you know it, you’ll be old and grown
Just remember that I’m always here
Hands you can hold on to

I love you

Don’t worry what anybody else will say
Don’t hurry to break that precious heart
When you try to be like somebody else
Remember I love you the way you are

So, take it slow
Before you know it, you’re gonna be old and grown
Just remember that I’m always here
Hands you can hold on to

And I love you

So, let’s climb every tree
And drink imaginary tea
And speak a language only we can understand
And I will fight back the tears
As we fly through the years
And I’ll keep you as close as I can

I love you more than you will ever know
I love you no matter what you do
And I’m gonna hold you as long as you will let me
‘Cause you’re mine, I love you

Location: her place and my place
Mood: exhausted
Music: I love you more than you will ever know (Spotify)
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Oh, how I wish you were here

Proud of ourselves

The Firecracker was busy for most of the following day but we met up for a walk to the pier near my pad when she was free.

There was a salsa party going on so we had to fight our way through that to make it to the edge of the pier, but it was worth it.

Me: What are you thinking?
Her: These are the times where I think, I can’t believe that I live here.

This fella named Richard Ford once said, The more we see our parents fully, see them as the world does, the better our chances to see the world as it is.

The boy just got his first red stripe in BJJ, which is kinda a big deal – certainly to him, if nuthin else.

Him: LOOK, LOOK! (shows me) Are you proud of me?
Me: Of course. But that’s not as important as if you’re proud of yourself. Are you proud of yourself?
Him: (beaming) Yes!
Me: That’s the most important thing, kid. Do things that make yourself proud of yourself, not me or anyone else.

Finding that I miss my dad the most when I want to ask him things about me when I was the kid’s age.

I mean, my mom’s still around and she and I talk about these things but I wonder what my dad was thinking when I was the kid’s age and doing similar things.

Realize all the times that my dad was right – and wrong – about things. I so wish he was here to talk about it all.

If he was, I wish I could tell him that I understand now, so much more about him than I ever did.

Wish I could tell him that I loved him, still do, and always will.

I wonder if he’d be proud of me. Then again, I think I did the best I could with everything I was given.

In that sense, then, I’m proud of myself.

Still, I wish he was here.

Although, truthfully, I always wish the people I loved were here with me.

Him: You looked like this again (makes face). Were you thinking of mommy again?
Me: (smiling, shaking head) I always think of her, but at that moment, I was thinking of my papa.
Him: (hugs me) I’m sorry, daddy.
Me: Thanks, kid. You’re my faves.
Him: YOU’RE MY FAVES!
Me: (laughing, hoping that I’ll stay in his top 10 forever)

Location: getting a second free soda at a street party because the person wanted a pic of me
Mood: hollowed
Music: how I wish you were here (Spotify)
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Nobody told me

Believing in myself

Her: Should we have a code word, like Beam me up, Scottie? Or Full steam ahead?
Me: Oh my god…

The next day, the Firecracker and I continued to work on our joint project.

But we decided to take a little break to meet up with her sister, brother-in-law, and niece for a quick drink around the corner.

There was a nice wine shop there; every time I see I wine shop, I stop by to check if they have my fave bottle of regular rum.

Me: I don’t suppose you have Captain Morgan Private Stock.
Him: No, sorry. But we have Bacardi.
Me: Yeah, no. It’s not the same thing.

The street was closed off for a block party and there was a band out as well, so we were all well entertained.

I got the table two dozen oysters…

Her: A dozen for everyone?
Me: No, a dozen for me, and a dozen for the rest of you.
Her: You’re gonna eat a dozen oysters by yourself?
Me: I believe in myself.

…while they got greens and fries for everyone.

Afterward, we walked over to H Mart where I bought a whole buncha frozen Asian food for me to cook during the week.

Her: Look, face masks! It’s great for your skin. Do you want one?
Me: Do I have a choice?
Her: I’m getting them.
Me: (later) I look like a serial killer.
Her: But your skin will be fantastic!

So many of my friends are dealing with some life altering things.

A good friend of mine gave me a ring over the weekend.

She and her husband of seven years were divorcing. She filled me in on everything that was going down.

Her: I’m so sorry to use you and Alison as inspiration for surviving this.
Me: Don’t. I get it. My life was a horror and I’m still around. I’m sure I’m many people’s worst-case scenario.
Her: It feels wrong.
Me: It’s not. It means that Alison’s story still matters in the world. I can’t think of anything that would honor her more, really.

It’s true.

Nobody told me that life would be so…tumultuous.

Location: day-drinking with her in an empty bar on 80th and Amsterdam
Mood: conflicted
Music: ran down 71st as fast as I can; I’m telling her everything (Spotify)
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Last min trip to NJ, then Koreatown

Thinking about my dad with girlie drinks

In a last-minute decision, I decided to bring the boy out to NJ to spend the weekend with his grandparents so that the Firecracker and I could work on a personal project of ours.

To that end, I was scheduled to head out to NJ, drop the kid off, and come right back, for an approximately 180-minute, round-trip excursion.

Welp, my luck held ever to form. Because I dropped the kid off without issue but the return trip was delayed a solid hour, so my three-hour round trip took four hours.

Once I made it back into the city, I ran to the restaurant where the Firecracker was waiting for me.

Me: I’m so sorry I’m late.
Her: It’s fine. I’m just happy to see you.

We were gonna go to a restaurant that Pac had suggested to us but the wait on that was an hour, so we just ended up going to my regular joint, Jongro – the last time I was there was with my buddy Bridget.

The Firecracker actually wasn’t all that hungry cause I was so late so it was mostly me that ate all the food.

Even that wasn’t enough, so I ordered a pancake that feeds 2-3 people and ate almost alla that myself.

Afterward, we went to a rooftop bar called K-32, right across the street.

There were only a handful of other people there because it was supposed to rain (but didn’t) so it just me and her.

Since it was just us, I ordered my fave drinks: Oversweet girly drinks made of rum.

Me: Don’t judge me for my drink. I like them like I like my women: Sweet and with fruit. Wait…
Her: (shaking head and turning to the bartender) Can you do something to make it more manly? Like put a tool belt around it or something.
Bartender: (nods) I’ll fix ya up!

There were no umbrellas.

But there was a drink in a tiki mug.

Her: Hey, these are like the mugs at your place.
Me: Yeah. They’re tiki mugs. They’re my fathers’.

We struck up a conversation with the bartender and the waiter and got onto the topic of Scenic Fights.

Me: You should subscribe.
Waiter: Wait, Scenic Fights? I’m already a subscriber!

Turns out he was already a fan and that’s why he thought I looked familiar.

The bartender was young and, because it was just the two of us, really spent a lotta time getting the drinks just right.

We actually left as the bar started filling up and were home and in bed by 11PM.

Location: 8:15 PM, with the kid, catching a train at Penn Station
Mood: hungry
Music: Now my dark days don’t phase me even a little bit (Spotify)
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My soul is lemonade

Make me write bad checks

Me: What makes a proctologist decide to be a proctologist? I mean they have to look at assholes all day.
Firecracker: (shrugging) I’m sure that you lawyers deal with just as many, if not more, assholes every day.
Me: Fair.

I find the Firecracker pretty funny, mainly with her earnestness in life.

Because the funniest things come from a place of honesty.

There’s something refreshing about having someone that is relentlessly upbeat and positive, especially considering my recent past.

In terms of the big three buckets of health, wealth, and relationships, relationships seem to be the one that my friends talk with me about the most.

With that said, I’m not the only one whose life seems on the upswing.

Ran into a friend of mine the other day who was with someone new. Afterward, she and I chatted about it.

Me: I didn’t realize you and [your ex] broke up. Was there any particular thing?
Her: (thinking) It was weird. I told him – straight-up – things like, “Could you let me know if you’re running late, “or “Could you drop me a line to make sure I got home OK?” Nothing. Ever.
Me: That’s weird.
Her: Yeah. Basically, that relationship was: “He knew what I wanted but he never did it.”
Me: Jesus Christ, can I relate to that…

Of course, for every person whose life is getting better, there’s gotta be at least one person whose life is getting worse.

Or two – see, two friends of mine just announced that they were divorcing each other. I didn’t wanna pry but it seemed that things mainly come down to issues in communication.

Have you ever actually read the story of the Little Mermaid? The original story is…dark. Waaaaay, dark.

Essentially, the mermaid saved this prince’s life but couldn’t speak so the prince thought some other chick saved his life and married her, and she died.

The end.

Think the loneliest people in the world are the ones that aren’t actually mute but can’t communicate.

I feel for them. After all, communication isn’t what you say, it’s what the other person hears.

Besides, what is life without someone to talk to?

Then again, some things might be best left unsaid.

Me: Can you do me a favour?
Her: Sure, what?
Me: Can you walk on my back? I’ve had a rough day at the gym.
Her: (laughs) Sure!
Me: (10 minutes later, groaning) OMG, hurt me, call me names, make me write bad checks!
Her: Umm… you…Mad Hatter!
Me: (laughing hysterically) MAD HATTER?!
Her: That’s all I could come up with! Now write me some bad checks!

I feel like I’m finally past my lemon days, maybe? That’s the hope, anywho.

So, here’s to some lemonade…

Location: day-drinking with her in an empty bar on 80th and Amsterdam
Mood: completely exhausted
Music: Everything’s just fine, I’ma be just fine (Spotify)
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A trip to the Great Wolf Lodge

Getting away from the smokey City

As my dumb luck would have it, a few months ago, I randomly decided to schedule a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos for this past Thursday and Friday with the Firecracker, the Surgeon and his wife, plus another lawyer and his kid.

Well, it was more that the Firecracker is a huge, huge fan of theme parks.

Her: What if the air’s worse up there?
Me: Welp, we’re about to find out.

This worked out amazingly because we were able to leave the city and spend the next two days indoors at a water park with climate control.

So, we went from this…

…to this…

…and this.

The kids all had a blast…


…although the adults also had fun.

Gotta say, I was pretty high-strung when we first got there because I really wanted him to wear a floatation vest but the kid was 100% against the idea.

Ultimately the Surgeon told me to relax because there were lifeguards everywhere. Then he bought drinks for everyone.

Me: Well, if you’re sure…
Him: Look, Logan, there are five adults here. Combined, we would be one good parent. And, really, that’s all you need.

Honestly, the only negative about the trip was that the food was pretty awful (health-wise) and expensive.

Although I tried my best to counteract it for myself; the kid was all-in for the junk food, though.

We had alla these plans to either head out to get tacos or eat at the nice restaurant in the park but we were all so beat from the day that we just ordered food from the same place as lunch and had it outside our hotel rooms.

Except with a lotta alcohol.

The next morning’s food choices weren’t much better…

…although I did make the kid have some peanut butter to counteract some of it all.

The boy and his friends were probably in the water for six or seven hours the first day and at least three or four hours the second day.

Unfortunately, one of the Surgeon’s kids had cut her toe on something sharp in the water so they left early.

That meant that the kid and the Firecracker’s kid got to do other things.

The kids didn’t wanna leave but the Firecracker and I were both beyond beat.

Heading home, we came pretty close to running outta gas but made it to a gas station just in time.

By the time we got home, the air had pretty much returned to normal and we had ourselves a typical rest-of-the-weekend.

The kids had a blast, but I’m not sure I’m really a theme park kinda guy.

Then again, I suppose that this is all part of the job of being a parent.

Him: Thanks for bringing me to the Great Wolf Lodge, papa!
Me: Did you have fun?
Him: YEAH!! Did you?
Me: (laughs) Sure. But all I really care about is that you had a good time, kiddo.
Him: I did, I did!

Location: home, wondering if I should have more of that green cake
Mood: exhausted
Music: got a lot of water in my brain, I got no common sense (Spotify)
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Smoke from a Distant Fire

Canadian wildfires in NYC

Dentist: (70 minutes late) Sorry to keep you waiting. What’s going on?
Me: I still have a lot of pain in that tooth you repaired last week.
Her: Let me see. (peers closely, runs some tests) The problem is that the crack was so close to your nerve. Let me drill down the tooth a bit and see if that helps. (40 seconds later) Bite down and tell me how that feels.
Me: (complies) No pain!
Her: (laughs) OK, you’re all done then.

So, repairing my tooth took two visits, $120 of copay, almost six hours of total time, and 40 seconds to fix the initial repair.

That seems on brand for me.

Her: My hair smells like smoke now. Yuck!
Me: Well, you are “The Firecracker.”
Her: (laughs) Please use that in the blog.

If you’re not from NYC, then you may or may not know that there are these MASSIVE wildfires – 150 to be exact – burning in Canada, with their smoke hitting NYC and hard.

Yesterday, the boy’s school had a pizza party in the school yard when the boy started screaming something and pointing at the sky; right after he started, the rest of his friends joined in.

What were they pointing at, at 6PM? The sun, which looked like an orange fireball.

This picture really doesn’t do it justice.

Everything was normal until about then, when he started coughing and I did as well and a thick smog came down on top of us with the whole yard smelling like a campfire.

We quickly left and went home – this is what it looked like at 6:48 last night.

The next morning, this is what it looked like in the Upper West Side.

Made the kid wear two masks to school while I wore an N95 mask.

I’m heading away with the Firecracker and the kid this week so I figured I should hit up the gym while I could, so off I went.

When I got there, I was already breathing heavily. This is what it looked like when I arrived.

Chad had, smartly, kept the windows and doors shut and the ACs running so we were able to get in a good workout.

But after just three rolls, I was completely spent and left.

Union Square looked like the first or second circle of hell – this is it at 1:49PM.

Hightailed it home to grab the kid from school.

Normally, I try to spend at least an hour outside with him so he gets some fresh air and exercise but there was no fresh air to be had.

I – like almost all of the other parents – quickly grabbed the kid and headed home.

Kept him indoors until it was time for his afterschool, took the bus there (we usually walk), took the train back alone, then did the same thing again 90 minutes later when his class was done.

Both he and I felt pretty run-down the entire day. I had an itchy throat and eyes while he kept complaining his chest and stomach hurt.

Hopefully, by the time you read this, things are much better.

Location: my pad, wondering if tomorrow will be better or worse
Mood: cough-y
Music: your eyes had a mist from the smoke of a distant fire (Spotify)
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Gird your loins, Logan

What does it mean to be human?

Me: Shoot, he got sick again. Gotta do another load of laundry. I’m exhausted.
Her: Gird your loins, Logan.
Me: Wait, wha?
Her: Gird your loins, Logan!

It was a super busy weekend with the kid because he had a birthday party to go to as well as a class spring fair, like last year.

During onea those two things, he musta caught a stomach bug because the rest of the weekend was pretty gross.

And by that, I mean it was really gross. Did like five or six loads of laundry in two days.

The Firecracker was over working on a few things so she gave us a lotta advice and moral support, both of which were greatly appreciated.

While walking the other day, I saw a firefighter walking a dalmatian.

Me: Dude, I’m sorry but do you mind if I take a photo of you? I’ve never seen a firefighter with an actual dalmatian.
Him: Sure!

Not something you see every day, here in the big city.

The kid had a field trip to the Museum of Natural History the other day and I volunteered to be a chaperone.

I came across that sign that you see above and it really made me think.

If this blog is about anything, it’s about what it means to be human.

There was a lot more I wanted to write about this but I suppose I’ll do that some other time.

Speaking of being human and gross things, gotta say that humans are pretty darn gross.

Case-in-point, the Firecracker loves trashy reality show television and her latest viewing pleasure is that of Dr. Pimple Popper, which – if you’ve never seen it – don’t start now.

Her: (searches for the right episode) OK, this guy…yeah that’s exactly what I had in mind. (presses play)
Me: OK…doesn’t seem…is that guy…OH MY GOD!
Her: It gets worse. Wait for it…
Me: Why are we watching this?! Oh my god, it got worse!
Her: It’s like a train wreck you just can’t stop.
Me: Make it stop!

I think I’ll skip eating entirely tomorrow.

Location: her place, watching something super, super gross
Mood: grossed out
Music: Ain’t nothing gonna stop me in my pursuit (Spotify)
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