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personal

the air of December, I swear I remember it that way

Sculpture on Broadway in the UWS, NYC

My insomnia has made it’s usual reappearance. No idea why. It’s irritating.

Less irritating is that people have been making reappearances in my Venn Diagram lately as well. There was my friend from church that I ran into on the street. She’s moving to Boston and starting grad school next year.

There’s also my buddy from my fencing class that disappeared for a while after Mike passed. Guess cause he took it pretty hard.

And about a half-dozen of my friends just had kids; been running into them in the big city here and there. Like I say, NYC’s a small town.

The thing about running into people’s that it’s a lot like running into a different version of yourself, like running into your possible pasts. Back when the church friend and I were hanging out, we were both single and enjoying single life. And my fencing buddy met me when I was still with my ex and had two cats.

Planning out some things for 2012 and every year that goes by, I’m constantly amazed the number is what it is.

2012? How could it actually almost be 2012?

Me: Do you remember when you thought 21 was old?
Her: (laughing) Yes – 30 seemed ancient back then.

Location: the same place
Mood: wide awake
Music: the air of December, I swear I remember it that way
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personal

Marriage is a funny thing

Small Thanksgiving dinner in the UWS, NYC

Her: George Washington __________? Between New York and New Jersey…
Him: Carver?
Her: George Washington CARVER is between New York and New Jersey?! BRIDGE! It’s BRIDGE! George Washington Bridge!

Forgot to mention that the wife and I did our first Thanksgiving sans respective families, although her sister did come by for the main meal.

Marriage’s a funny thing. We regularly comment to each other that, prior to three years ago, we were total strangers. Now were eschewing the family we’re known all our lives for this new family we made. See, funny thing.

On Monday, met up with some old co-workers from my internet days at Dive 75. If you’ve never been there, it’s the best bar in NYC, IMHO – mainly cause the music/tv’s not that loud, there’re bowls of chocolate everywhere, and stacks of board games.

Ended up playing Taboo until it was way past our respective bedtimes. Alcohol and chocolates really increases the entertainment value of boardgames.

It’s always hard finding time to meet up with them, or anyone really, but isn’t it always a nice time when y’actually find the time?

Location: the desk, per usual
Mood: Super busy
Music: They say people in your life are seasons And anything that happen is for a reason
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Categories
personal

What you’re lucky enough to get is never enough

No matter how much time you get, you always wish you had more

Pumkins in the Village, NYC

Him: Wait, how old are you?
Me: 38. Why, how old are you?
Him: 23.
Me: I think I hate you.

I own some Apple stock. And when I say “some” I mean a pittance. Like enough to buy a really good dinner at a five-star restaurant in the City.

Whenever my stocks go up, feel that greedy urge in me go: Man, I should have bought more. There’s always that feeling that what you’re lucky enough to get, is never enough.

Was wrestling the other day with some Asian guys. The thing with Asians is that it’s always hard to tell how old they are – even for ourselves. While we look young, though, it’s just the appearance. Time just keeps on going.

Which goes with my formula that Time¬=Money; Time>Money. And here the greed’s even greater cause no matter how much time y’get, you always wish you had more.

Read the eulogy that Steve Job’s sister wrote for him. It’s very moving – if y’get a chance today, you should read it. His last words I find especially profound in their honesty and simplicity.

I wonder, then, if there’s a time that we become ok with the amount of time we’re allotted.

Hope so. Not afraid to admit that it scares me. The not knowing.

November 2011, already. Where does the time go?

———-
And now for some levity – think the same is roughly true for Asian men:

How Asians age

Location: surrounded by blueprints and surveys
Mood: slightly anxious
Music: My scarecrow dreams When they smashed my heart into smithereens
YASYCTAI: Read that eulogy. (10 mins/0.5 pts)
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Categories
dating personal

Digital to do / Insult me, beat me, make me write bad checks

Canal Street Subway

Mom: (leaning in, whispering) Act normal. I put two suitcases with your dad’s stuff into your trunk. Get rid of them.
Me: What? How?
Her: Shhh! I don’t know, don’t care. Just get rid of them. (turning to everyone, smiling) Who wants dessert?

I’ve somehow become a digital packrat in my life. My father, god love him, saves everything. Drives my mom mad. On more than one occasion, I’ll go home and find that she’s filled my trunk with random junk that my dad’s accumulated.

Suspect that if she were in the mafia, we’d have similar conversations.

Like me, she accumulates mosta her stuff in digitally. But I take after my dad in that I save everything.

Think it all started when I decided to get rid of all of my CDs years ago. Then I digitized all of my class notes from my school days. Just snowballed from there. The whole thing’d be fine it not for the fact that I didn’t organize it properly from the get-go. So now, as it gets bigger so does that sinking feeling that I gotta go back and re-edit a buncha stuff. So, to avoid procrastination, every time I get a few minutes, go back and start curating.

Amazed at how much stuff I’ve actually got.

On the topic of editing digital stuff, been reading a buncha my friends’ dating profiles for them. They’re terrible. The majority’re just bland and boring with lotsa guys putting up smiley faces every two sentences as if to say, I‘m just kidding, see how fun I am?

The worst are the ones that say, I’m just looking for someone nice. As if everyone else is saying, Insult me, beat me, make me write bad checks.

Figure there’s gotta be a cottage industry to help people not come off as weird or desperate online. Think I’ll have to write a post about writing a good profile onea these days soon.

And there’s another thing to add to my digital to do list.

Location: getting dressed in the front room
Mood: thoughtful
Music: Complacency, a vacancy, checks into your heart
YASYCTAI: Edit another folder of stuff. It’s never ending (a long time/1 pts)
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personal

The world limits us enough, why do it to ourselves?

Train arriving at Columbus Circle

Her: It looks worse, you should go see a doctor.
Me: Nah, I’ll be fine.

Wonder how many people died saying those as their last words.

Been going to the gym like crazy cause summer’s usually my slow time and I wanna get in as much gym time as possible before things start getting mad busy. So I was rolling with my buddy Car when we got onto the topic of MRSA (pronounced “mer-suh”). If you don’t know what that is, do NOT google it, instead, just believe me when I tell you that it’s gross and deadly. I’m a germaphobe by nature – to the point that no less than a dozen people remarked why I’d wrestle since that’s so unlike me. Which goes to show, that as much as I hate touching stuff, hate not knowing stuff even more.

Feara ignorance > OCD hand-washing.

In any case, had just shaved earlier that week and rolled and had gotten some razor burn. After a week, it started looking bad. Like real bad. After HG put her foot down, went to the local medi-merge where the lady doc walked into the room, took one look at me, and said, “You’ve got staph, man.” It wasn’t MRSA – thankfully – but it was something dangerous and gross. She gave me some meds and told me to go home and shave, which I did for the first time.

Lemme tell you: (a) it was insanely painful and (b) it far worse than I thought.

Killed all of my weekend plans. A weeka antibiotics later, about 90% back to normal.

The psychological scars’re gonna take a bit to get over though.

Do you know I’m scareda flying? Was the international sales manager for a Fortune 500 company and terrified of flying. But I board that plane every damn time.

Cause the world limits me enough; don’t need to do it to myself.

So Thursday, back in the gym.

Course, gonna be covered in plastic wrap from head-to-toe but that’s really neither here nor there.

 

Location: in fronta piles of papers
Mood: better
Music: rolling in the deep the scars
YASYCTAI: Do the uncomfortable things. (always/3 pts)
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Categories
personal

Getting heated in NYC

Glass of rum at Salute, New York City NYC

Him: I should drop you right here.
Me: OK.

There was a major flood in my area this weekend so traffic was routed in fronta my pad. This huge truck started blasting it’s horn like crazy in the early AM so I went out to ask him to stop.

Got pretty heated pretty quick and this guy just charged out of his truck at me. Think he expected me to run or something. Unlike last time, however, Heartgirl wasn’t around to remind me that I’m not 20 anymore. Per usual, told him that just cause I didn’t wanna fight, didn’t mean I wouldn’t.

The thing is that I can deal with loudmouths and a fair fight. What I can’t brook is a coward. This guy was plenty brave in his truck but less so outta it. Anywho, it ended up with him just doing a lotta shouting and then walking away.

HG told me I should have just called the number emblazoned on the side of his truck, which in hindsight woulda been the smart thing to do.

Man! Hate losing my cool. It’s embarrassing – how mucha my past I bring with me to my future. Even after all this time. Thought I outgrew this long ago.

Him: (walking away) If I wasn’t working, I’d kill you.
Me: Yeah, y’keep telling yourself that. Maybe you’ll believe it. I think you’re just a coward. (admin note: not actually the word I used).

Coffee at the DTA Down Town Association New York City NYC

Been meeting up with friends and clients downtown for breakfast a lot these days at a private club. It’s nice having a civilized cup of coffee undisturbed with the morning paper.

My buddy who owns my pad with me’s talking about selling it someday soon. Move out to the burbs and live a quiet life, if I’m lucky. But I’ll miss the little tings like this the most.

Suppose the honking horns and random chances of violence will be less missed.

Location: getting ready to head out
Mood: disappointed
Music: You remind me of a reason had by someone so many years ago
YASYCTAI: Enjoy the little things while you can. (60 mins/1.0 pts)
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Categories
business

Stupid on different subjects

Street lamp in Byrant Park, in NYC

Me: Niggardly is a Scottish word meaning “cheap.”
Him: Nope, it’s Scandinavian. (gets dictionary)
Me: Dammit! I hate being wrong…

The weather’s been great in the city since Irene. Calm, cool, dry – it actually feels a lot more like early fall than anything else. Suppose I should enjoy it.

No time to do that today, though. Gotta be in court – although this time it’s not for me but a client. When it comes to court cases and clients, I usually play a supporting role behind the scenes. This time, though, sitting front and center. For a guy that doesn’t litigate, this’s always interesting.

Dunno how people get anything done in hot climates; always feel lethargic and slow in the summertime. But the second it feels like fall, it’s like the year’s begun.

Like to teach myself something every year. Twain said that we are all stupid, just on different subjects. That’s true – I hate not knowing something.

Dunno if I told you but this year, I decided to learn calculus. No real reason except I never did. But then I thought I should do something a bit more practical so I turned back doing  my Mission real estate courses.

Funny isn’t it? The whole time I was in school, dreamed of being outta it. Now that I’m outta it, dream of being in it (especially in the fall). It’s the human condition to blunt the sharp points of our memories.

Enough armchair philosophy, got an important date with an adult in a robe.

Ed note: Niggardly is completely unrelated to the racial slur – which it merely sounds like – the pejorative comes from Spanish/Portuguese noun negro.

Location: heading downtown
Mood: busy
Music: hell ya blew trial and tha judge gave you 25 with an L
YASYCTAI: What are you learning this year? (two semesters/1.5 pts)
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personal

Bermuda 2011

Cloudy day in Bermuda

Me: Do you wanna…?
Her: It’s Monday, Logan.
Me: Television it is.

Went with the wife for a quick trip to Bermuda last week. Normally when I go someplace, there’s usually some travelogue to go with it.

This time, however, the entirety of the excursion can be summed up as follows:

      • sleep
      • eat
      • beach
      • read
      • watch Dexter
      • watch Game of Thrones
      • rum

Repeat. It was pretty cloudy and rainy the whole time but that was fine with me as it gave me an excuse to just sit inside with a drink and read.

Parta what makes the trip so relaxing is the forced lack of net access. Have to remember that.

Going to the Caribbean is like going to the Mecca of rum. Came back with almost half a suitcase worth of the stuff. Gonna need it with the way the economy’s heading.

Piña colada in Bermuda

A few days before going, met up with Hazel and Gio for some drinks – it was like back when we were all single. To prep for my trip, ordered a Piña colada and the bartender insisted on putting a pink umbrella in it.

Him: That’s a manly pink umbrella.
Me: It’s not complete until I drink it with my pinky out.

Now it’s Monday and I’m back to work. Still got sand in my bag. Dunno if that’s a good or bad thing.

Beach sand in Bermuda
Logan Lo

 

Location: back in my apartment
Mood: content
Music: don’t have time I’ve still got sand in my shoes
YASYCTAI: Take a week off. (7 days/1 pt)
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Categories
business personal

Good salesmanship is the conveyance of enthusiasm

Singer sewing machine parts

Salespeople get a bad rap. Which sucks cause every business has three parts:

  1. Research and development
  2. Operations
  3. Sales and marketing

Two outta three of those spend money but only one of them makes money. That’s why its so important. The other two can slide at times but sales can never slide.

Did I ever tell you that I taught sales? Did it for a while at the Fortune 500 company where I learned that good salesmanship is the conveyance of enthusiasm.

Take my Mac computer.

Was against the mac for years until my brother and Rain – neither of whom worked for Apple nor owned Apple stock – each individually spent days (days!) espousing all the benefits of the mac. They were excited. They got me excited. Next thing you know, I’m plunking down twice what I’d spend on a PC for some shiny.

That’s good salesmanship. That’s the kinda salesman my dad was. That’s the kinda salesman I am at heart. Those are the kinds that don’t need to lie or puff, they just get you hyped up about how this product or service can make your life better cause it actually can.

When you truly believe that your product/service will make people’s lives better, you cannot stop that.

So I went to see Rain with an idea I have for a show.

Him: Man, the best thing you and I did were those commercials.
Me: I know. We should do something else.

Admin note: No posts next week. Got a thingy to do and my injuries are driving me up the wall. See you in a week?

 

Location: still sitting with an ice pack
Mood: still in pain
Music: bring me home to Hadestown way down to Hadestown
YASYCTAI: Do something artistic, it’s good for the soul. (7 days/1 pt)
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personal

Proprioception / Do we have more than five senses?

Everyone thinks we have just five senses – we have a lot more than that

Bar in midtown, NYC

Her: Well, every human has the same five senses, so…
Me: Actually, humans have a lot more than five senses, we have like 24.
Her: Why do you have to be that guy, Logan?
Me: (shrugging) You got a lotta time to read and think when no one wants to hang out with you.

As you read this, think of the tip of your right pinky finger.

You know which one that is, without looking at it. In fact, you know that your right pinky finger is not, by any means, your left index finger. You can know this without looking at either or touching either. This is called proprioception and is our ability to sense the different parts of our body in relation to each other.

Think that what causes mosta the brokenness around us is the inability for people to be empathetic; that is to say, to know the relation of ourselves to others around us.

I’ve got like a dozen friends that have birthdays coming up. Came to the realization that the ones that’re the happiest’re the ones that have that strong sense of empathy; the miserable ones’re the ones that look from the inside, out versus from the outside, in.

It’s the bendy versus the broken.

Said it before, one does good things not to save the world but to save ourselves.

———-

Just for kicks, here are some more of the many other senses we have:

  • Spatial perception due to sound – If you hear a sound in the distance, you know if it’s near or far. This is different than hearing sine you can tell is a the growl of a lion is right next to you or several yards away – a useful trick when we were all hunter/gatherers.
  • Hunger and thirst – two more senses separate from all the others
  • Time – you know, without looking at your watch/mobile, that I’ve just wasted some five minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

For that last one, you’re quite welcome.

Location: waiting for new tenants in the UWS
Mood: melting
Music: with the restoration I’m running on my feet, I never stumble as I’m falling
YASYCTAI: Pick up a new book; how are you on your reading schedule? (2 days/1 pt)
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