Tag: discussion

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dating personal

Dodging the Bullet in NYC – Part 1

Night outside Lincoln Center with an advertisement

Him: Do you believe in karma?

Me: Nope – not at all. It goes against everything Christians believe in AND history has shown us that rarely do people get what we deserve.

Him: My mom does, and she’s more Catholic than me.

Me: Then (with all due respect) she doesn’t read the Bible enough. Ecclesiastes 9:11. God is not an insurance agency.

There was a time that I thought I’d be marrying this one girl. Didn’t happen, obviously. Realize now that it was such a good thing it didn’t happen – we’dve made each other just miserable. Miserable.

Thought about Caligirl recently. Heard through the grapevine a while ago that she’s having a kid.

Thought about all of this because my buddy with the map problem just found out his ex is marrying someone else.

Me: You always dwell on what you don’t have. It must be tiring for you. You should stop, don’t you think?

Him: She gets a guy who loves her I guess. He knows about indiscretions

Me: (laughing) You want to be him? With a scumbag wife? We laugh at him. I laugh at him. She was banging you while engaged to him. That’s who you wanna emulate?
As an old dude, lemme tell you this: there’re countless times in your life y’gonna think that you’re dying. And one day, you’re gonna be right.

For the most part, though, you’re turning into something better.

For the most part, you’re dodging a bullet.

Silhouettes outside Lincoln Center with an advertisement

Cars’re honking outside my apartment like crazy. Found out Madonna’s shooting something in the hood.

It’s cool the first time; annoying the 20th.

Just want some peace and quiet to write. Earplugs it is. Stupid Madonna…

Location: home
Mood: annoyed
Music: wait in driving rain For the bus that never came
YASYCTAI: Ride it out, it’ll get better. It always does. Except once. (time/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Taking the punches

Location: waiting for meetings
Mood: accomplished
Music: I’m all choked up and you’re ok.

Lennon downtown, nyc

Me: (gripping seat) Watch that car, watch that car! (later) It’s a red light, it’s a red light! Slow down! (still later, exiting car) You’ve really gotta be more careful.

Him: (relaxed) You worry too much.

It’s been 23 years since my father taught me how to drive. It appears we’ve changed roles.

HG and I have been seeing a buncha relatives these days. Here’s another conversation between HG and one about her finger.

Her: It hurts.

Him: Yeah, I know what you mean. When I was 10, my cousin slammed a door into my toe. It was all black and blue and then my nail fell off. Believe me, that hurt like hell – I mean, that is some pain. I can still remember it to this day. (thinking) Oh, and when I was 20, I got hit with a grenade.

That guy’s one tough fella. Which is pretty much the opposite of me.

But at the very least, know how to throw a punch. It amazes me how many people – guys in particular, simply don’t. The chance of me getting into a fight now at 37’s pretty slim. But still, surprised it’s not something people pick up. Then again taking a punch’s probably more important.

Check that, taking a punch’s definitely more important.

YASYCTAI: Learn to take the punches. (time/2 pts)

Categories
personal

TCO

Location: home
Mood: ambitious
Music: loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

Cookies in NYC

For those of you reading at the new digs, what do you think? Thanks to Mildred Fierce for moving me over from Blogger to WordPress; if you need something similarly done, she’s the one to call.

There’ll be glitches here and there for the next week or so as I clean things up and (re)tag and organize all 588 entries I’ve written.

Need to get a life.

———-

In college, needed some spare dough so I delivered cookies. Huge 12″ to 24″ cookies.

You’re delivering cookies to co-eds, think about it, my buddy Scott said.

So I signed up. Lemme tell you a few things:

  • Yes, only women order 12″ to 24″ cookies.
  • No, it turns out that these are not the type of women I, or most people, dream of meeting.
  • I made $600 that summer.
  • Cornell has lots of hills.
  • A new transmission cost me $1,500.
  • My total cost of ownership earnings that summer: 5 pounds of fat and -$900.

Point’s that there’s a total cost to doing any activity. Using that Zipcar service so that means that while I’m spending about $150 a month, that also means that I’m not spending $350 a month in car payments, $150 a month in insurance, $50 a month on gas, $400 a month on parking.

My total cost of ownership of a non-car is now -$800 a month.

On an unrelated matter, the book-burning pastor in Florida gets to vent. But what’s the total cost of ownershipa that action?

YASYCTAI: Before you do anything, what’s the TCO? (60 mins/1 pts)
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Categories
personal

Integrity

Location: in fronta screens
Mood: determined
Music: found myself there, in a bit of hot spot

Gated Apartment downtown NYC

Said once that integrity means that you’re the same person in public as y’are in private.

Suppose that’s why I’m a little disappointed in the ADL, a group that’s for religious freedom – except for Muslims.

The pointa my story about the racist judge that ruled against an anti-Chinese law was that, to his credit, he’d enough integrity to see that ruling otherwise based upon his own personal feelings was wrong.

Currently, there is a woman running for a position in my organization whom I dislike because of her constant ad hominem attacks.

Voting against her. This’s a big deal cause we’re a small organization and my vote really counts.

She’ll surely gonna think that it’s causesa my personal feelings, but the fact’s that she cannot do the job – it involves attention to detail and that trait she doesn’t possess.

My weariness of dealing with her makes me wanna just let her win but my integrity won’t.

Gonna be quite the fight. Luckily, got a strong belief I’m right and a fairly large bottle of antacid.

One or the other should carry me through.

YASYCTAI: If you’re all talk, you’re just an empty box like a radio or TV. Don’t be all talk. (5 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Tragedies fulla joy

The Empire State Building

 

There really isn’t a happily ever after, you know? Children believe that. Adults believe what this fella Bernard Malamud said – that Life is a tragedy full of joy.

You hold on past the tragedy for the next wave of joy. And be grateful for the joy.

———-

Speaking of children, do you remember the old Aesop’s fable about the mouse and the lion?

Today’s Mother Teresa’s bday. A few months back here in NYC, there was a controversy cause the owners of the Empire State Building refused to light their building blue and white for her birthday, which made some of the local government – the city council – upset.

After all, they did change the colours for the Simpsons and Popeye, why not a woman who gave her life helping the less lucky, yeah?

Fast forward to this week when the owners needed help from – you guessed it – the city council to block a new rival building from competing with it two blocks away. The vote was 47-to-1 allowing the building to go up.

See what happens when you don’t pay attention in grade school?

Location: yesterday, the hospital (long story)
Mood: creative
Music: i’ll wear your colors til you come back home to me

Categories
personal

Stalker

 

Woman in NYC Apartment

Me: The answer’s that you’re not a stalker.
Him: What?
Me: OK, she told you it’s over, yeah? So you talked to this other girl. The issue’s that she said, It’s over. Then she came back and’s all pissed that you went on with your life.

When a girl says, No, y’gotta assume she means, No. After all, “No” means “No” is the anti-rape and anti-stalker saying.

And I believe that; it took me a while, but I totally believe that. If a girl says, Leave me alone. Guess what, y’gotta leave her alone.

But it cuts both way – she can’t use that logic as a sword and a shield.

She can’t say to you, Y’should have known I might come back.

Cause isn’t that what a stalker says? (She said “leave me alone,” but really she meant “try harder.”)

Isn’t that what a rapist says? (She said “stop,” but the way she was dressed, she really meant, “I want you.”)

The safest thing in the world to do, is to believe what the words that come outta her mouth. If a woman tells you to bounce, you grab your shoes, say thanks for the lovely night, and bounce.

Cause y’can’t read her mind. And y’can’t read her mind cause you’re not a stalker.

Him: Gotcha.

 

Location: heading up to the Bronx then down to Brooklyn
Mood: hot!
Music: you know me well but I don’t know you at all

Categories
personal

What we do

Location: 9AM, getting choked on 27th
Mood: Certain
Music: there’s no cover for you, no prize when you’ve won

Less a political post, more a legal one regarding the mosque at ground zero here in NYC.

They have the legal right to have a build one there. People may not like it, but that’s the law and religious tolerance is what the country was built on – New York in particular.

Pardon the poor sound, super busy today…
YASYCTAI: Think about what it is we actually do. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
dating personal

Something better than average

Location: back at my desk
Mood: thirsty
Music: we’ve got the movement that bends us to break

Snow on the 72nd Street Pier in NYC

Her: It’s too hot to grill. It’s too hot to do anything.
Me: (panting) In fact it’s so hot that all we can do is sit here and talk about how hot it is.

Severala my friends find themselves newly single at this point, which explains all of the dating related entries again these days. It’s like old times.

Him: My date last night said she doesn’t want a guy that treats dating like an occupation.
Me: That makes zero sense to me. Think about how much work y’put into a getting a good job. Meeting someone that you love should deserves at least that much dedication and care.
Him: Where’s the romance in that?
Me: What’s more romantic: Telling someone that y’love her because she had the locker next to yours in high school or telling someone that you’ve met the world and she’s the best thing in it? Telling someone you’ve set her apart. Romantic is: I will bust my ass to make this work cause you’re my favourite.
Him: She’s just looking for someone who dates…normal.
Me: Normal means average. Average means just like everyone else. Normal here means that most marriages end in divorce 66% of the time, dude. Even if she wants average, y’should want something more for yourself. Be honest with yourself and her – tell her the truth.
Him: And what’s the truth?
Me: That you’re looking for someone, something more. Something y’can’t put inna words.

Y’should want something more than the reality that, if you get married, chances are over 2-to-1 that you’ll also get a side of divorce to go with your fancy wedding.

Goodness, people, y’should want something more than just average.

———-

For anyone taking the bar exam, you’re probably already sitting and writing like mad. But good luck anywho.

YASYCTAI: Treat it at least as importantly as you would your occupation. (1 minute/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Disappointment

It’s really the disappointment that wears you down

Sitting on a street curb in NYC

 

Me: You don’t care at all about that? It’s part of what makes a woman attractive.
Him: (laughing) Some like the attic, some like the basement. I’m a basement man, you’re an attic man.
Me: Well, that’s certainly a colourful way of putting it.
Him: (sighing) I still love her, y’know. Even though she’s evil.
Me: She’s pure evil. (patting him on shoulder) But I know. It’ll get better.

Take a lot of classes. Classes for wrasslin, fencing, law, etc.

Was talking to one of my instructors the other day, who’s been doing his thing for 20 years. We’ve known each other maybe seven/eight years. Told me outta the blue that he’s gonna be calling it quits soon.

This surprised me.

Me: Why?
Him: I can’t take the disappointment any more.
Me: (confused) The disappointment of your students quitting? Or the disappointment of them not practicing? Or of them not caring?
Him: (nodding) Yes.

It’s sad but true. My friends don’t wanna date cause it’s really the disappointment that gets you. Others have stopped looking for work. Still others have stopped trying to take those chances.

It’s bound to happen some time. He’s in his late 50s so maybe it’s time.

Still, it kept me up the other night. Something about teachers requires that they hope that someone listens, someone cares – no matter how many times they’re disappointed. It’s a hard and often thankless job.

So, climbed outta bed and practiced quietly in the dark. 1, 2, 3…

Location: in the back room
Mood: pensive
Music: It’s too late – much too late, too late for the young gun
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Categories
dating personal

Iron intelligence

As Iron Sharpens Iron

Small leak in my ceiling

Me: (discussing the triathlon) If there’s a competition in three parts where the first part is solving a computer problem, the second part is fencing, and the third part is cooking, I’d totally rock that.
Her: (laughing) You would totally rock that.

With the exception of maybe Jaerik, don’t think mosta you read when I wrote my favourite quote in the world from this dude named Schopenhauer that goes, With increased intelligence, comes increased capacity for pain.

Him: She left. Think I need to be by myself for a bit.
Me: Sorry to hear that, man. But I think that that’s not the way to do it – get out there and date.
Him: I don’t wanna get back out there.
Me: You gotta. Interacting with a buncha new people’s the best way to learn about yourself – as iron sharpens iron so does one person sharpen another. Plus it’s self-correcting: Say you do it for six months. In six months, let’s say you finally meet a great girl. You’re golden. Say your ex comes back. After six months of dating other women, you’ve learned that much more about yourself. You’re golden. Let’s say neither after six months. You’re still out there getting better and meeting women. So you’re still golden.
Him: I shouldn’t have lied to her.
Me: No, you shouldn’t have. But you did. And you can’t plead, argue, logic or beg someone to care. All you can do it take the pain and deal with it. Leave her alone – she’ll either come back or won’t. Either way, handle yourself first.

Speakinga Jaerik – since it’s now public knowledge – congrats for your company selling Islandlife.

The offer for manservant’s still open.

In other news, got a small leak in my kitchen ceiling.

Location: Still sweating at my pad
Mood: Still hot
Music: One fine day You’re gonna want me (Spotify)