Tag: NYC

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personal

Ruining my own weekend plans

Wanting things to be different

I’ve not spent the 4th of July with anyone in years.

Alison spent most 4th of Julys with her extended family. Mouse did the same but not even extended family, just immediate family.

And for this 4th and the past one, the boy’s been away.

This year, I wanted it to be different. To this end, I made alla these plans with a pair of pretty hazel eyes except, a few days beforehand, she asked me a question I couldn’t answer.

Her: I wonder if you can make room for someone in your life right now?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: You seem set in your ways.
Me: I think that, for the right person, I could find room.
Her: Yeah. For the right person.

And it made me realize a lotta things – not just about her and me – but about some questions that has been rattling around my head for a while now.

I finally understood what someone was trying to tell me for years. But, I suppose, that’s another entry entirely.

In any case, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. In the morning, I woke up and promptly ruined all of my weekend plans and hurt my own heart.

Still, it was – honestly – the most adult breakup I’ve ever had in my entire life.

Me: … I wanted to be upfront with you about everything.
Her: And I appreciate you being honest with me about all that. All that being the case, I think it’s probably best to just take a bit of a step back from this.

And that was that.

I was gonna just spend the weekend at home drinking but life had other plans for me.

To start with, that night, a female friend invited me to see a concert and then we sat on my stoop afterward to have some wine, something I hadn’t done in decades.

Somehow, we got onto the topic of our respective dating lives and god.

Her: The real spiritual path is a higher calling to true redemption.
Me: OK. I’m vomiting in my mouth right now.
Her: Oh man, you have so many issues.
Me: Refusing to have sex or hating God?
Her: Both.

The next day, I was supposed to go with the Counselor to see Isabel the Singer but things fell through there as well for a whole host of reasons.

Mouse was at the gym and I was tempted to ask her if she wanted to come but that always ends in a gun fight so I decided against it and just went by myself.

It ended up being pretty cool.

Isabel: Thanks so much for coming!
Me: It was great, thanks for having me.

On the way home, way later than normal, got a call from the Acrobat but I’ll keep that part to myself.

The next day – and totally outta the blue – a girl named NC that I’ve not really chatted with in close to a decade hit me up to chat.

After a spell, I invited her to come by Paxibellum because we actually met at my old gym years ago.

Me: Come by my gym and roll!
Her: I can come by on Friday!

She did and we had a pretty fun time. She said she’d try to come by again.

She’s trying to figure out things in her own life as well.

Man, aren’t we all?

Was actually supposed to get dinner with some friends in Chinatown with some other friends I’d not seen since before COVID but that fell through as well.

In truth, that was fine by me. My week was already a lot more social than I wanted after everything went down.

Figured that I’d spend the rest of the weekend alone at home, but life had other plans for me, which I suppose I’ll tell you about later as well.

Location: earlier tonight, the Campbell, thinking of my possible pasts – and possible future
Mood: conflicted
Music: tell me that you miss me – baby, get your ass home (Spotify)
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You would have been proud of me, I think

Some celebratory dinners

We were all pretty hungry after the meet. Some people wanted to eat out in Long Island but I told them that Flushing was a better bet.

I piled into Panda’s whip along with Randi, while everyone else got into their respective rides, and we all headed to Flushing to 1392, a seafood joint.

It was pretty hard getting around with my bum knee but I somehow made it work.

Panda, Randi, and I got there first and we ordered up a ton of seafood.

Everyone else came afterward and we inhaled all the food we ordered.

But the thing is that Panda wanted dumplings so we ended up going to a second place to get that, which was the mall that I usually hit up.

Afterward, Randi wanted a drink so we went to a really cool rooftop bar on the other side of the block. I’d never been.

There were some pretty interesting looking drinks.

Since I was still in diet mode, I got the “low-calorie” cucumber drink option that was good, but not great. You can see it below with the wedge of cucumber.

Ended up getting a second drink later on which I can’t remember but was even better.

The waitressed noticed me hobbling around so I asked her for a bag of ice and she was super sweet and gave me this for my knee.

Me: You’re my second favourite person here!
Her: Who’s the first?
Me: Oh, me. I think I’m just lovely.
Her: (laughs)

This is pretty much how I spent the entire time at the bar.

Afterward, we all split up and Panda drove Randi and me to the Barclays Center so we could grab the 2/3 to head home.

Me: Can someone gimme a lift to a 2/3 train station?
Him: You can take the 7-train right here.
Me: I know that and, normally, I would. But there’s no way I could make it up and down alla those steps for transfers and stuff.

Randi and I were on the train after a bit and we just chatted about the day before I finally hit my stop and made it home.

My housekeeper let herself in earlier in the day so, when I opened the door, it smelled like it used to smell when I was out late working and Alison was home and cleaned.

Me: (to no one) I’m home! I won one match.

I shuffled my way to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of rum.

I think I did pretty ok, I said, to my empty apartment. You woulda been proud of me, I think.

No one answered so I downed my glass and slowly poured myself another.

Location: meeting up with a huge Seinfeld fan out in Astoria for a drink
Mood: happy (enough) but missing the boy terribly
Music: Every time you look my way I can’t even handle myself (Spotify)
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Cyrano de Low and the Siege of Melos

Yo-Yo, the Philosopher

Back before I met Alison, I recall writing emails to women on behalf of my friends, or – at the very least – editing them.

Now, with everyone texting these days, I find myself being asked by friends to respond to messages from women. It’s all pretty amusing for me, gotta say.

I was trying to explain to one friend that communication isn’t just what you say but what the listener/reader hears.

To further drive the point home, I told him something that I tell my friends alla time but also gave him two versions of the same concept: The first is by Thucydides during the Seige of Melos and the second by a kid called Yo-Yo in my junior high school.

 

On a related note, a young woman in my gym is going back to college – an ivy league – and wondering what she should pick as her major if she wants to go to law school.

Been telling her that, if that’s the case, she should really consider philosophy and read more from people like Thucydides – although, admittedly, he’s more of a historian than straight philosopher.

I actually never took any philosophy classes as an undergrad and it’s a regret of mine.

As for my own dating life, I saw the Acrobat and the Counselor recently, which is always entertaining, conversation-wise and otherwise.

Me: (noticing her ordering an open drink) Aren’t you concerned about roofies?
Her: With you? No. Not even sure I’d object. No wait, I would. I’d want to be awake for that.
Me: Noted.

The Counselor was actually in my area doing a cold sauna, for people with inflammation (everyone has inflammation to varying degrees).

The concept is to step into a super cold – negative 140 degrees Celsius – room and just be there for three minutes.

She was part ice cube when I met up with her.

Her: It was so cold, Logan!
Me: (laughing) I can imagine.

We ended up going to the Dublin House, which I’ve actually never been to, despite it being only a few blocks south of me and one of the oldest bars in NYC with a really cool neon sign that was recently rehabed.

Me: You should take advantage of me while you can. These looks won’t last forever.
Her: (shrugging) I figure that if you were going to fall apart, it would have happened already.

The Dublin House was cool but without air conditioning so we went to another of my usual bars around the way.

This one had both air conditioning and candy all over the place. Unfortunately, I’m dieting for a couple of things coming up so I ended up trying to hand the candy to other people so I wouldn’t be tempted.

We’ve both been so busy that we’ve not actually seen each other in a while so we ended up chatting most of the evening.

Her: My last boyfriend was closer in age to my dad than me.
Me: No kidding. What was the age difference?
Her: (thinking) 15 years?
Me: Wait, that’s the difference between us.
Her: Oh! You’re right. I forget.

Location: sitting in front of a 14TB external USB drive at 5400RPM and an 8TB external USB drive at 7200RPM with a USB-C hub and wondering if I should shuck both, and then swap the internals.
Mood: super tired
Music: Fell in love with a girl who’s a few years younger (Spotify)
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Don’t lead with that

That’s misleading

Her: So, you have allergies but you decided to bring in a ton of pollen producing plants into your home? If you two aren’t together any more, why don’t you get rid of them?
Me: (shrugging) I’ve grown accustomed to them. Plus, while it’s awful for me, hopefully, the boy will grow up with pollen and won’t get allergies. That’s the hope, anywho.

Back when Mouse was staying here, her health took a nosedive which broke my heart. Still does, TBH. But that’s neither here nor there.

We couldn’t figure out why – it turned out that my apartment is ridonk dry, with winter humidity levels in the teens but, I didn’t know that then – and thought it was maybe the air quality.

So, to this end, I started getting alla these air-purifying plants.

While she’s not been here in years, I kept alla the plants alive (mostly) and even started adding to the plant collection.

Now have two avocado trees, one of which is supposed to do well in apartments and fruit,…

…two blueberry shrubs, a snake plant, several ZZ plants, a spider plant from my friends at Evolution, one tomato plant, and a ton of scallions.

And, of course, I still have Harold.

Always wanted a fig tree and my mom was going to give me one, but it turns out that you actually need wasps to pollinate them so I’ll just have to content myself with figs from my mom.

Maybe I’ll try growing some strawberries?

So far, only the tomato plant has borne any fruit but I was thrilled to have them and made a sandwich with them just the other day.

It goes back to me liking to fix and build things myself. There’s just something about consuming – literally and figuratively – something you made yourself.

Speaking of fixing things, I’ve been fixed up about six or seven times in the past few months.

More if you count people like the French Dancer and Pharmacist that just randomly end up in my orbit.

I don’t write about most of them because the people that set me up are friends of mine that think well of me, so the last thing I want to do is gossip about the friends that they send to me.

Besides, everyone’s been lovely just…not really my speed for a number of reasons. Let’s just blame it all on me and my particularity, for the sake of brevity.

The funny thing is that, despite this blog detailing my pretty ridonkulous dating life, people continue to try to set up their friends with me.

I can only imagine that it’s pretty awful out there if I’m a top contender.

Still, hope springs eternal…

Her: I told her you were a lawyer.
Me: That’s misleading. I’m essentially an unemployed single-parent that spends most of his time rolling around with sweaty dudes.
Her: Don’t lead with that.
Me: Noted.
Her: Also, don’t mention the blog. God, why do you even have that thing?

Location: earlier tonight, the gym, trying to rip off my ex’s foot – she was trying to do the same, but better
Mood: hangry, of course
Music: Let’s make believe that we can fly (Spotify)
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Still Mr. Fix-It

I’m a slow learner

Do you remember when I told you that I had my fridge repaired almost exactly a year ago?

Welp, it broke again. Last time around, it was the water dispenser, this time around it was the ice maker.

I did some research and it turns out that most modern icemakers in fridges attach via only one or two screws and a single power cable. My particular model attaches with only one screw and one cable.

You can see the screw on the left in the middle attached to the fridge, and the cable on the right, attached to the power.

So, I decided to order the part and try to fix it myself.

20 minutes after it arrived, it was installed. Fastest repair I’ve ever done.

Don’t understand people that don’t like to fix things themselves because it’s like a real life puzzle with tangible rewards at the end.

If anything, I try to fix too many things that I should just toss.

Sometimes, it takes me a while to realize that something’s broken beyond repair. I’m a slow learner but I do eventually learn.

Eventually.

Speaking of tangible rewards, the Scenic Fights guys want me shirtless in our next shoot so I’m back on a strict diet for the next 45 days.

But my physical therapist was having a party with pizza and I figured it was worth it to have one last night of carbs in the form of beer and pizza.

Several people from my gym came by so that was fun – especially since several people from my gym decided to do some human tricks.

It was all pretty entertaining. I probably had a lot more pizza than I shoulda.

His office is right around the Gamergirl so I was tempted to give her a ring just to catch up but then The Counselor hit me up with what I thought was an emergency.

And it was, in a manner of speaking. She found an unwanted guest in her Manhattan apartment: A stink bug.

I found our conversation pretty hilarious and figured you might as well.

The Counselor went to DC for work not soon afterward (and potentially stayed at the same hotel that Alison and I did, which was kinda a kick in the head) so she’s hoping at the bug made it way out and is happy somewhere in Central Park.

We should all get to visit pretty ladies in Manhattan at night and go to Central Park the next day.

Location: earlier today, asking a pretty blonde to get lost
Mood: hangry…very hangry
Music: I’m sorry for being broken (Spotify)
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His first piñata

A weekend with the boy

It was a gorgeous spring weekend this past weekend in NYC so I brought the kid out to as many things as I could while I could.

The first was a dance class that French Dancer actually taught with him and his friends, courtesy of the surgeon and his wife. They seemed to all have a good time.

She and I keep saying we’ll meet up for some coffee but, considering that she’s in her 20s, that would just be for the company. I’ll let you know how that goes.

The next day was a school fair where he asked, repeatedly, to get dunked…

…I ultimately relented and let him do something where a bucket of water was dumped on his head. He loved it.

All-in-all, we were there for a solid four plus hours and he had a blast. My only hope is that he has some nice memories of it.

If nuthin else, he got to spend a lotta time with his friends, which was sweet to see.

He also had some hot dogs – again –  and chicken to boot. I didn’t really want him to have them but he made a compelling point.

Him: Papa! It’s a fundraiser!
Me: Fiiiine. I’ll go get them for you.

The next day, we went to a playground where he made some new friends…

…and then we tried out his new bike, that was slightly too big for him but I figure he’ll grown into it…

…and then a birthday party with two of his classmates (twins – man, do I know a lotta twins in the world).

That piñata was a huge hit.

Huge.

All-in-all. It was a pretty sweet time with the kid this past week.

I  wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

He grabbed a ring pop outta the piñata. This is the aftermath.

Gotta say, I’m doing much better – mentally – now that May’s over.

Hoping this summer’s gonna be very different from the past few summers.

I’m looking for some joy and kindness if I can find it.

I do have some leads this time around, though.

Her: I’m bored. Come keep me company.
Me: Hard to resist an invitation like that, darling.

Location: earlier today, in Paxi for six hours total
Mood: optimistic
Music: You take my grey sky and turn it into blue (Spotify)
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Memorial Day Weekend 1: Putting on our administrative hats

$10 and a six-piece Chicken McNuggets

The Boy: How do you clean a tuba?
Me: With a tuba paste.
Him: Correct!

I dropped off the kid with my in-laws the other day and, after some food and computer repairs, high-tailed it back home to try and make my gym class.

Me: So, should I mail you the bill for the computer repair or just email you a PDF?
Her: Why don’t we call the child-care and computer repair a wash, Logan?
Me: (laughing) Fair. Thanks, mom.

Unfortunately, there was an hour delay due to a fire in the tunnels on the NYC side, while rain was coming down on the tracks on the other side.

It was something else.

Debated not going into Paxi but went in anyway. On the way in, I ran into Mouse, who was also late, and we ended up paired together for part of the class.

It was nice to spend some time with her, I gotta say. I asked her to give me a lift back but she declined. I understood.

It took a few years but I’m trying to accept the world as it is, not as I wish it to be.

Which was the core of who I once was before I lost everything.

Making it home, I broke my fast – because I hadn’t eaten since 4PM and it was 9PM – and ate four burgers.

It wasn’t my proudest moment.

The next day, I met with a friend of mine…

Her: Do you want to make out?
Me: Sure.

…and also arranged to see the Counselor.

Her: I’ll see you around 8:30?
Me: Yup! By mine?
Her: Yes.

We ended up catching Uncharted but our phones kept going off.

Me: These damn dating apps are always trying to get me to spend money.
Her: Weird, I don’t get that problem.
Me: You’re a woman, you don’t need to. Didn’t you say you had 1,800 messages/likes on one of them?
Her: God, it gives me anxiety whenever I think of it. I just delete the apps and start over again.

Later, we somehow got onto the topic of injuries. She actually had far more than I had expected and I think she was unprepared for how many I had.

Her: Whoa. Was all that from fighting?
Me: Well, that’s what I tell people but the vast majority of them are because I’m super clumsy.

It took us a while to watch the film because, not only were our phones going off, I kept stopping to talk about random things.

Me: Have you ever heard of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon; once you see something, you can’t unsee it. Well, I was telling my son about water barrels the other day…
Her: How do you know all this stuff, Logan?
Me: I don’t have many friends.
Her: (laughing) I doubt that. I think you might be a little ADD.
Me: (shrugging) Maybe. (later) Wait, how much was your haircut?
Her: OK, in my defense, it’s been a while since I had a proper haircut. (pause). $X00.
Me: $X00! Jesus Christ. Listen, next time, I’ll cut your hair for $10 and a six-piece Chicken McNuggets.

That was the second time in 24 hours a pretty lady declined a generous offer from me.

Which is probably for the best because we ended up killing what was left of my good rum and I was likely to try and re-cut her hair that night.

Me: (very drunk) I have some administrative things for us to discuss.
Her: (equally drunk) OK, let me put on my administrative hat.
Me: Oooooh, lemme get mine on too…

Location: earlier today, saving him from drowning in Long Island
Mood: protective
Music: momma always said, “Look up into the sky, find the sun on a cloudy day” (Spotify)
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I have weapons too

A birthday party with Paul

My buddy Paul moved close to me in the UWS years ago but I hardly saw him.

Nothing happened between us so much as life happened to us, individually. Plus COVID.

He knew Alison really well – in fact, he was there when we met, when we dated, and everything afterward. Until she died.

I remember asking him if Alison was attractive because I thought she was so beautiful that I thought I might be seeing things.

He told me she was. That’s happened exactly twice in my life.

In any case, whenever I thought of him, I thought of his wedding, which Alison couldn’t come to because she was pregnant with the boy and didn’t want anyone to know.

And then everything turned to shit. He did nothing wrong at all.

Like I said, I was avoiding people from my old life for a while after Alison died because everything reminded me of her and I wanted to forget.

But, because I don’t hit the grief button as often as I used to, I’ve been slowly seeing my old friends again.

He invited me to his kid’s birthday party the other day and the boy and I went.

Boy: Will I know anyone there?
Me: Maybe. But there’s pizza and cake.
Him: OK!

Weirdly enough, ran into a fella that went to my old gym that we used to call The Chessmaster. He was a really good fighter but was tactically very good as well.

He moved to the hood too. It’s funny how many people move into my area.

There’s a spot in Central Park, the Bethesda Fountain, where if you sit there long enough, the entire city walks by. – Fools Rush In

Afterward, the boy and I went on another bike ride around the park.

I wonder what, if anything, he’ll remember of these moments.

Him: Papa, look! A raccoon.
Me: Man, you have some good eyes, kid.

Did manage to catch up with the Counselor the other night near her pad, though.

Me: Before I come in, you should know that I’m armed.
Her: (shrugging) It’s fine. I have weapons too.
Me: (laughing and handing them to her) Noted. Please don’t stab me.
Her: I can’t promise that.
Me: Fair.

I had injured myself yet again at my gym, this time my knee.

Her: Do you want me to wrap it for you? I’m pretty good at it.
Me: Why is that?
Her: (shrugging) Cheerleader captain. You have to know this kinda stuff.

She propped me up on a knee brace she happened to have and put an icepack on my knee.

Me: I gotta say, this is one of the weirder dates I’ve been on.
Her: (laughing) Rum?
Me: (looking at her bottle) That’s like moonshine.
Her: This is what I grew up on.
Me: Well, ok then.

She gave me back my scarf too.

I think I’m making progress. A little.

Location: earlier today, unwrapping dinner for the kid in the gym
Mood: hopeful
Music: You told me I was selfish (Spotify)
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Maximum Angles and Old Ghosts

So much for sleep

The second birthday party was pretty brief – people from my old gym.

Chad and Kung were there – like me, they both had wrist issues, but much, much worse. Both had surgery.

That’s them comparing the maximum angle they can have their hands.

It was pretty funny. OK, you had to be there.

They did it a lot.

A fella that worked for the government and helped me with the whole crypto theft was there too.

Me: I gotta take you guys out for some steaks and beer.
Him: No, it’s really…
Me: Dude, don’t be selfish – what if I just want an excuse to eat expensive steaks and cheap beers? Or cheap steaks and expensive beers? I’m easy.

Probably too easy. Even before I arrived, I had way too many drinks already that night, including two more there. Think that put me at eight?

At some point Chad said that he had to dash, which I was thrilled to hear because I just wanted to get home and crash.

He barely got the words out when I was already high-tailing home.

Walking out the door, I made it to West 4th to hop the train. Somewhere between there and home, I ran into an old ghost with blond hair and green eyes.

Her: Logan!

I’m such a sucker for blond hair and green eyes. A boy could marry a girl like that.

So much for getting any sleep.

These late nights have caught up with me because I woke up today with a fever and sore throat after weeks (months) of battling allergies.

I’m convinced that COVID has made my – previously almost imperceptible – seasonal allergies into weeks of misery.

Me: I think I’m going to just spend the night in bed watching junk. Sorry, just feel like trash.
Her: No worries, definitely been there. Feel better!

Location: double-masked, waiting for the boy in Union Square
Mood: sicky-sick, send soup
Music: Three months without you, I don’t know what to say next (Spotify)
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No sense in wasting time

I gotta jet

Actually went to two more birthday parties, back-to-back, the other night.

The first was for RE Mike’s girl on the roof of the Daintree – he booked the whole room. Of course. Because he’s RE Mike.

As soon as I walked in, the lady at the front put a bracelet on me.

Her: This is for the open bar.
Me: Sweeeeeet. I’ll have a Hemmingway daiquiri.
Her: I’ll have your waitress get you that.

Pretty much had three of those and then an old fashioned.

I knew several people there, including my friend-from-around-the-way.

Me: How’s work?
Him: The usual. Our new offices are near your gym.
Me: Ah, we should grab lunch. (thinking) You know, I think we’ve known each other 20 years?
Him: 22. I met you the first day I arrived there for work.
Me: Jesus Christ. We be old, yo.

Kinda wonder where my life would be if I stayed in corporate America.

Don’t think I woulda met Alison or done kali or any of that. I woulda been a totally different person living a totally different life.

There’d be no kid, no Paxibellum, no Scenic Fights, prob no blog.

I’ll stop now before I meander too far down my possible pasts.

Anywho, afterward, I went upstairs – with yet another Hemmingway daiquiri – and immediately started chatting with a redhead.

Her: …but I’m leaving for France tomorrow.
Me: Shame. Everyone runs off to Paris right when things get interesting.

Still, I actually spent most of the time talking to her friend who offered to take pics of me and vice versa.

Me: Sorry, I have to ask, how old are you?
Her: 29.
Me: Oh, so close…
Her: You’re not going to invite me downstairs for a drink with your friends?
Me: Tempting, but I have these rules, you see.

We chatted a bit more but then I had to dash off to go to the other birthday party waaaaaaay downtown.

RE Mike: You should get her number.
Me: (shrugging) Nah, I meet women every night. It’s not a good fit. No sense in my wasting her time, or her wasting mine. The night’s young and I gotta jet. Thanks, as always, for the invite!

I’ll tell you about the second birthday party tomorrow.

Still trying to catch up on sleep.

Location: earlier yesterday, a huge Manhattan apartment, getting a new phone case and then running into my buddy heading to Union Square. Small world.
Mood: allergic to the world right now
Music: I can speak to you by saying nothing at all (Spotify)
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