Tag: writing

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nihil novi sub sole

Tribeca in New York

It seems as if I’m a hack. Two things I wrote once, thought I came up all by my lonesome. Turns out I didn’t.
One was my version of Virginia Woolf’s observation that On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.

And perhaps the core tenent of what I believe, that all we are’s mostly dumb luck, Oscar Wilde said far more eloquently: Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.

S’ok, though. cause maybe true things are just true things that people know on some level everywhere.

It’s like I always say, that there’s nuthin new under the sun.

I came up with that, right?

 

Location: my apt, getting ready for work
Mood: injured
Music: I’d rather disappear than be faking it, anyway
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Comedy, by Gilbert Gottfried

Following the 2011 Earthquake / Tsunami / Nuclear disaster, the following were jokes made by former AFLAC spokesman, Gilbert Gottfried; all jokes copyright of Gilbert Gottfried as author.

Photo (c)Kamoshida/Bloomberg
What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.

Photo (c)Kamoshida/Bloomberg
Japan called me. They said “maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they’re all sinking.”

Photo: REUTERS/U.S. Navy/Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Dylan McCord
I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said “is there a school in this area?” She said “not now, but just wait.”

Photo (c) Reuters
I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”

Mood: appalled
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Logical issues in stories / writing

Graffiti Madonna in downtown NYC

Her: What’re you doing?
Me: Installing a HDMI splitter to power the 47 and 26″ monitors, upgrade the ram, and dupe the old harddrive to a two terabyte drive.
Her: Oh…well, I was just building a flux-capacitor in the bedroom so…

Well, writing this blog in the middle of the day doesn’t work and I’ve got a full Monday schedule for the foreseeable future so back to publishing in the AM.

Speakinga writing, been working on my manuscript like a madman; actually trying to submit it to a writing contest soon. Problem was that there were a buncha logical issues that had to be resolved, which is parta the reason it was put away for so long.

A logical issue’s when something in a story just doesn’t make sense and yanks the reader/viewer outta the story. For example, just saw The A-Team film the other day. Wasn’t expecting Shakespeare but there’s the one scene where (1) a tank falls outta a plane, (2) hits a body of water, (3) everyone insides survives, and (4) a few minutes later, they’re driving on dry land.

Assume, arguendo, that the first three are possible; the fact is that if a tank fell into a lake, it’d sink to the bottom, and it’s engine would fill with water. It’d be impossible for them to then drive the tank onto dry land.

This was such a glaring error that the rest of the story was unwatchable – even though I could suspend disbelief enough that a tank could fly (don’t bother asking), couldn’t do it once that happened.

Figured out how to kill a character last year; now I’ve gotta have another one leave the story without getting offed.

Think that’s why science fiction’s so alluring; y’can resolve a lotta these logical issues by just saying that’s what happens in that world.

Stupid crime fiction…

———-

Got a non-canonical entry tomorrow, see you then?

Location: Midnight, sitting in front of a keyboard
Mood: hopeful
Music: all winter we got carried away over on the rooftops
YASYCTAI: Take those chances. (1 minute/3 pts)
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Procrastination and the planning fallacy

The pool at the Parker Meridien in NYC

Last week, had to go to the courts downtown for some personal business. Very different from all the other times I’ve had to go to court.

I’ll tell you about it in a bit.

———-

Just walked in the door for some physical therapy; an old sports injury’s been bothering me more and more as the years’ve gone by so figured I’d take care of it before got much worse. PT’s a funny thing where you walk in, meet someone, shake hands, and a complete stranger then puts their hands all over your body. Interesting.

S’funny how quickly time rushes by; have a tendency to keep putting things off. Shoulda taken care of this years ago but I didn’t. Luckily, the lady said I should be ok but it’d take a few years.

This scientist named Jon Elster has this thing he calls the “planning fall ofcy” where they can’t estimate how long something’ll take to do cause they don’t accurately remember how long it took them to do it in the past and don’t take into account hiccups along the way.

Figured that I’d be much better at things and my life in general by now but I’ve got to get a move on things.

Speakinga which, on the last part of manuscript. Gonna publish in 2011 or die trying.

Gonna publish in 2011, hopefully.

Location: lying on a vinyl table in the UWS and told to relax
Mood: relaxed
Music: But there’s more to this journey than is apparent to the eye
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How to keep your 2011 resolutions

So how was your NYE? HG and I were feeling under the weather so we just stayed in and watched Inception. We’ve become a boring couple – which is a rather nice thing to be, actually. Did go out the night before to my friend Paolo’s for a pre-NYE party.l

A fella came up to me and said he read my blog. It was actually the high point of my night; it’s great when someone tells you that you did something that connected with them.

For this new year, made a list of goals rather than resolutions – after all, it’s important to have a target so you have something to aim for, yeah? I think how to keep these 2011 resolutions is to make them more specific and keep them manageable. And only have a handful.

Most times, just kept these goals to myself but when you put something out into the aether, it makes it more concrete. So here we go:

1. Finish manuscript within 60 days.
It’s been almost a decade since I started it so it’s about time; gonna slow down on other things to get this done. Inception blew me away with it’s complex storytelling. Gotta get in gear.

2. Practice German for 30 minutes a day, five days a week.
In the past decade my German has, if anything, gone down. Thought I’d be fluent by now.

3. Learn three new Chinese characters a week.
Ditto – can speak poor Chinese and German but am illiterate in both.

4. Wrestle three times a week.
Again, a decade’s gone by without much improvement.

5. Practice fencing 15 minutes a day
Think 15 minutes is manageable.

As for more general goals, plan to lose a little weight, invest more, actually have a wedding, and get more clients for the law firm. But the above are the big ticket items for me.

Just said that what we say of things in our heads make them real or not; might as well make them positive things. So, off to read some German for the next 30 mins while I get to work.

Also los!

Location: the beginning of 2011
Mood: ambitious
Music: there’s reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last
YASYCTAI: Make a list of manageable goals for 2011. (60 mins/2 pts)
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What we do

Location: 9AM, getting choked on 27th
Mood: Certain
Music: there’s no cover for you, no prize when you’ve won

Less a political post, more a legal one regarding the mosque at ground zero here in NYC.

They have the legal right to have a build one there. People may not like it, but that’s the law and religious tolerance is what the country was built on – New York in particular.

Pardon the poor sound, super busy today…
YASYCTAI: Think about what it is we actually do. (60 mins/1 pt)

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Taking Algebra

Time versus money

Walk with friends in NYC

Been working out for about 90 minutes a day for the past several weeks. Trying to turn back the clock, I suppose. It’s tiring but the thought that 50’s only 13 years away from me’s a bit hard to take.

Have you noticed that your parents spend more on stuff than when you were a kid? Like your pop buys a huge colour TV but when you were a kid, he made do with the old set?

It’s cause when you’re younger, you got more time than you got coin. Then, after a while, it flips in your head and in real life.

In that weird middle place now, where the two’re equally important. Dusted off my manuscript again cause I hear the devil breathing down my neck and think that I gotta get myself in gear.

So I sit down with my six cups of joe and do:

  • subject-verb-object
  • subject-verb-object

over-n-over again until I run outta subjects, verbs, and objects – or coffee.

Location: a yoga mat in 10
Mood: ambitious
Music: move on, Second best is never enough
YASYCTAI: Dust off that project of yours and give it another whirl. (time/2 pts)

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Today is…

Location: home for now
Mood: mischievous
Music: what I prove, that’s what I move, that’s what I give

Night in NYC

…a day for changes.

It’s hard living down your past. Learning Chinese, or martial arts, or anything, always found that the non-natives were tougher on me than the natives. Like the Caucasian Chinese teacher that graded us harder and gave more homework and exams than the Chinese ones.

Suppose he had something to prove.

Suppose it’s why I gotta know something about everything. It’s also why I think I lived such a violent life as a youngster – always had something to prove. Luckily, juvey records’re buried after 16.

Made my money running onea the largest underground clubs in NYC for four years. That woulda been fine but also met the Devil and took a cut of all of the Xctasy money floating around.

After Leona Helmsley sued me for trashing her joint, put what was left inna Intel stock, then dumped that inna this apartment.

So, considering all of that, decided to sell my pad and give it all away to charity. And considering what’s going on in the church, decided to go to seminary and become a priest.

Maybe this way I can make up for all those things that I’ve done.

Of course, I’ll have to give up the girl and rum.

Now, if y’believe anya what I wrote above, consider again the title.

YASYCTAI: Think about what today is… (10 mins/1 pt)

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Finding things that are appropriate for you

Client meetings all morning. 2011 is busy already.

Student: Where do you want him at?
Instructor: (stopping class) “Where do you want him at?” We don’t end sentences with a preposition here.

There’s a nerdiness that permeates my life. Take my wrestling class. Buncha sweating guys ostensibly trying to do harm to each other. But our instructor’s a Jewish guy that’s a Japanese scholar with an masters from Columbia University. And he’s a monster on the mat. He scolded someone for cursing the other day and again for the above (more in a funny manner than a mean one).

There’re wrestling classes much closer to home for me and some that’re cheaper but there’re none that are as appropriate for me. Finding stuff that’s appropriate for you in life is a bigger thing than y’might realize.

———-

Jon Rognerud, the author of Ultimate Guide to Search Engine Optimization wrote me an email thanking me for my review. Nice fella.

My last book review made the front page of the New York Journal of Books. It’s spurring me on to finish that manuscript this month.

Gotta get it done; there’s a fine line between a writer and a nutjob that just tells himself stories all day.

Location: 11 AM, surrounded by papers on all sides
Mood: relaxed
Music: yeah, I’ve got to go home, ten minutes to go
YASYCTAI: How are we doing on those resolutions/goals? (time/1 pt)
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Speaking of “Eat-What-You-Kill”

View of an NYC entryway

Turning from my last post, once wrote about this mouse in my house. Bugger wouldn’t die. Just disappeared one day so figured some poison or cat got him.

Fast forward to last week, when I left my pad decked out in a full suit. Forgot something so I turned around and ended up face-to-face with a mouse. We stared at each other for a second, all high noon-like, before it turned and zipped into my pad.

Ran after it, dropping my briefcase. It flew into the bathroom so I did the same, slamming the door behind me to trap us both. Grabbing the metal wastebin in there, brought it down on it over and over again, missing each time. Neighbors musta thought I was clear starkers.

Fast buggers, they are.

Finally thought I got it but turns out the dents in the can gave it a second chance; when I lifted it, expecting to find the past-perfect form of mouse, it sprang away.

So did I, leaping four feet back like a ten-year old girl doing double-dutch. Course, my bathroom’s only three feet wide so ended up smashing in my cabinet door.

Deep breath, flipped the can around and slammed it down one last time. Poor bastard, the last thing it ever saw was some crazed Asian-dude in a brown suit bringing down a dented silver metal can on it.

To say that it was a bloody mess is not taking any literary license, lemme tell you.

Dunno how people – like farmers – regularly kill things. Then again, they’re probably not wearing a sweat-soaked three-piece using a dustbin. Maybe they are; what do I know?

Sorry little guy, didn’t wanna, but had to.

Her: (noticing the missing can later) What happened to the trash can here? (surprised) And what happened to the cabinet door!?
Me: (sighing) You don’t wanna know.
Her: (shaking head) I don’t want to know.

In other news: my bathroom floor’s spotless, I’ve decided I wouldn’t last in the wild; and I still hate AT&T;.

Location: still in front of computer screens
Mood: fulla fiber
Music: Early in the evenin’ just about supper time