Author: Logan Lo

My Google Profile+

Categories
personal

It doesn’t take much to feel rich

Luxury comes from the little things in life
Classic NYC Coffee Shop

Me: So I bought some bathroom tissue.
Her: Do we need any?
Me: Well, no. But they were on sale – 48 rolls for $23.
Her: You bought 48 rolls!?
Me: Well, actually it’s looks like I bought two orders, so 96. (thinking) I could cancel one order.
Her: (laughing)
Me: I’ll cancel one order.

It’s not a bad trade – I get to smell nice all the time, she gets bulk commodities.

Told her recently about how, during grade school, there was always this huge garbage bag fulla pretzels during lunch.

These were big, soft, doughy kinds you get on the street corner except they were cold and soggy.

For $0.25, you could get one after lunch. Usually didn’t have a quarter to buy one but one kid named Scott always bought one. Realized one day that he bought it in lieu of lunch altogether.

I think this is the first time I told any one that. Figured my family didn’t have any scratch either so why rat him out?

In any case, recall that my mom gave me a quarter once so I bought one. It was wet, soggy and dense. But I loved it. I felt rich.

There’s this scene in one of my favourite books where a mother is asked why she pours a cuppa joe for her kid if her kid never drinks it.

The mom replies that they don’t have much of anything. But she can afford to give her kid one cup of cheap coffee to dump down the sink.

Said once that I have more clothes than anyone else I know.

Just got another custom made suit. When I put it on, I immediately remembered the pretzel and laughed. Felt silly. Then I gave my mom a call.

Funny how the mind works, yeah?

“There was a special Nolan idea about the coffee. It was their one great luxury. Mama made a big potful each morning and reheated it for dinner and supper and it got stronger as the day wore on. It was an awful lot of water and very little coffee but Mama put a lump of chicory in it which made it taste strong and bitter. Each one was allowed three cups a day with milk. Other times you could help yourself to a cup of black coffee anytime you felt like it. Sometimes when you had nothing at all and it was raining and you were alone in the flat, it was wonderful to know that you could have something even though it was only a cup of black and bitter coffee.

Neeley and Francie loved coffee but seldom drank it. Today, as usual, Neeley let his coffee stand black and ate his condensed milk spread on bread. He sipped a little of the black coffee for the sake of formality. Mama poured out Francie’s coffee and put the milk in it even though she knew that the child wouldn’t drink it.

Francie loved the smell of coffee and the way it was hot. As she ate her bread and meat, she kept one hand curved about the cup enjoying its warmth. From time to time, she’d smell the bitter sweetness of it. That was better than drinking it. At the end of the meal, it went down the sink.

Mama had two sisters, Sissy and Evy, who came to the flat often. Every time they saw the coffee thrown away, they gave Mama a lecture about wasting things.

Mama explained: ‘Francie is entitled to one cup each meal like the rest. If it makes her feel better to throw it away rather than to drink it, all right. I think it’s good that people like us can waste something once in a while and get the feeling of how it would be to have lots of money and not have to worry about scrounging.’

This queer point of view satisfied Mama and pleased Francie. It was one of the links between the ground-down poor and the wasteful rich. The girl felt that even if she had less than anybody in Williamsburg, somehow she had more. She was richer because she had something to waste. She ate her sugar bun slowly, reluctant to have done with its sweet taste, while the coffee got ice-cold. Regally, she poured it down the sink drain feeling casually extravagant.”

— A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Location: downtown in just a bit
Mood: groggy
Music: waiting At the counter For the man To pour the coffee
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Chinatowns and the Space Shuttle

Why does every major American city have a Chinatown?

When I was traveling around Europe once, had the idea of stopping at every Chinatown I could find and having the beef with broccoli there – yes, I know it’s not traditionally Chinese but, then again, neither am I.

In any case, went to the one in Paris, London, and (kinda) Berlin and Hamburg. None in Malaga.

This writer for Freakanomics wrote that every large American city he likes has a Chinatown. The reason, it turns out, is because in history, it marked a stage in development where a city was large enough to require a railroad. And back in the day, when you wanted a railroad built, you called the Chinese.

Instant Chinatown.

It’s all of these unexpected consequences that I find so interesting in life. Like when the British became a superpower by using copper-plating on their ships instead of plain wood.

It used to mark a point in development of nations when they headed to space.

In 2004, the Cassini spacecraft went to Saturn and the Today show had Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson on. Matt Lauer asked him how America could justify a $3.3 billion dollar mission such as that.

Dr. Tyson replied, “First of all, it’s $3.3 billion divided by 12 – it’s a 12 year mission. Now we have the real number: less than $300 million per year. Hmmm…$300 million. American spend more than that per year on lip balm.”

Right now, we spend less than 0.5 of a penny out of every dollar on space.

Think it it’s a direct consequence that we stopped trying to go to space that America’s fallen behind in science and math. People like Matt Lauer see the dollar figure and fixate on that, not seeing the jobs created, the side technologies (like microwaves and the Dustbuster), and all of the inspiration for nerdy kids like myself.

By now you’ve seen a million pics of the space shuttle making like LL Cool J and going back to Cali. As a kid growing up in the era of the space shuttle, it’s remarkably sad to me.

At this rate, we’ll have to head to China and build Americantowns.

Suppose I’ll have to go there to get a traditional American Beef with Broccoli.

Location: about to go to the post office
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I’ll soon be back again, that’s what I said in China
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Attraction is not a choice

You can’t choose who you find attractive

I’m honestly not trying to be controversial to get readers but it is interesting to note that my last post and some of the ones before that have garnered more comments and emails than usual.

This fella named David DeAngelo is a fairly well-known pickup artist that once said that Attraction isn’t a choice. I think know that this is true.

And of course someone will mention pedophilia and incest but both are different scenarios – in the former, it’s not between two two consenting adults and in the latter, there’re biological implications on top of the societal and legal ones.

Got another email from a female friend who tells me that she has a guy buddy she hangs out with all the time and they share a lot in common – she’s just not attracted to him.

I hear that story a million times from both men and women. People often find themselves in the friend zone where the other party goes, I don’t know why, I’m just not attracted to him/her.

It’s because you have little to no say in the matter. Either you are or are not attracted to another person and there’s little you can do about it.

However, I did get one comment in my last post where my very loyal reader Paolina (who has an amazing photography blog) wrote:

Dating someone from a different race/nationality is completely different from dating someone from a different age range. On a very shallow perspective, what do you think of a 60 year man dating a 20 year old? I’m sure that thought would’ve touched a nerve on a lot of women. Most of us would’ve probably thought you were a dirty, old man trying to score an clueless, immature chick or something to that effect. But again, nobody knows the whole story and as mentioned, it is none of our business. I always say, whatever floats your boat, buddy

OK, I have to admit that that has merit.

However, the girl is an adult in that situation and telling her that she’s doing something stupid – which she probably is – is indeed her own adult choice.

And what is life if not making our stupid choices and living them. The other thing is that there should be someone in her venn diagram that does know her and know the situation that can and should tell her what’s what.

All education is expensive. Some far more than others.

———-

For those of you that never click the comments – or leave comments (damn you all) I do get some of the best ones.

For my reader Paul, I hope you don’t mind that I put this up – tell me if you do.

He commented about my poor hair and clothing choices by saying: First off, you had excellent hair and clothing choices. I know.

Here’s my pic from that older entry 17 Again.

Here’s his pic.

That literally made me laugh out loud.

And this is just one of a million reasons why I can never run for president.

Location: behind a deadline and running to catch it
Mood: guess what? crazy busy
Music: crossed the sea to find a brother
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Living your own life is hard enough

Everyone has an opinion as to how someone else should live their lives

Me: And what do you want?
Him: It doesn’t matter what I want. My father wants me to marry a Korean girl.
Me: If he wants a Korean girl so much, he should marry one.

So an interesting subset of my post from last week on writing a dating profile was communication from about four different women noting that on the profile, I was 39 years old, looking for women that were 25-30.

What none of them seemed to realize was: in order for me to get that screengrab of my profile, I had to log into my old profile, which I did last week – at 39 years of age.

I’d not touched that profile since September 2008 – when I was 35. The site merely updated my age to 39 when I logged in in August 2012.

But here’s the thing: Even if I was 39, looking for women that are 25-30, isn’t that my business?

In other words, suppose I told someone I was attracted to black women. How revolting would it be if someone said, Logan! You’re a Chinese-American man. You should be ashamed of yourself, trying to date a black woman.

An actual message from someone except the person said I was a “39-year-old man” and instead of “black woman,” she said, “25 year old.”

Let’s take it a step further.

Suppose I said, I was looking for a black man. Sudden people get incensed one way or another.

The thing is my wife and I would probably have had issues 30 years ago with us being a mixed-race couple.

Why does everyone have an opinion as to what one adult finds attractive in another adult?

More mind-boggling, why do people think their opinions matter to anyone but themselves?

And when did they learn that their opinions are better than someone else’s opinions?

I know Asians that think I’ve “sold-out” by marrying out of my race. In fact, I was one of those people in my teens.

But I was a stupid kid – as evidenced by my admittedly poor clothing and hair choices. These are adults writing this.

Perhaps the most powerful thing I’ve ever learned in my life isn’t a fencing or a wrestling move, but rather this: What other people think of me is none of my business.

The moment you believe that statement – not just know it intellectually but truly believe it – you are separate from everyone else in the world.

You gain a membership into a cadre of thinkers and dreamers that live their lives in the world but unaffected by the world.

And it cuts both way: What you think of someone else is none of their business.

Then again, if someone isn’t living their own life, perhaps you should say something.

Me: Living one’s own life is hard enough. Doesn’t your father get tired of living your life too?
Him: (laughing) He means well.
Me: I’m sure he does. But – and this is admittedly none of my business – long after he’s gone, you’ll be stuck with the choices he makes for you. Your father lives his life. Your mother lives hers. You should live yours, yeah?

Location: in front of a cuppa joe and Mamma Lo’s carrot cake
Mood: you guessed it, crazy busy
Music: picture the scene, filming and screening, dreaming of me
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Chris Gethard and being kind for no reason

It’s easy to be cruel for no reason; it’s just as easy to be kind

Actually, that same day I saw the foozball table from my last entry, I was in Chinatown earlier. Was starving so I popped into a dive that had 20 dumplings for $4. That was great. Not so great was the fact that I went to the gym not more than 20 minutes later.

Me: I don’t feel so hot.
Him: Do you think it mighta been the 20 dumplings you just ate?
Me: (thinking) Nah…
Him: (knees me in stomach)
Me: C’mon!

———-

As you know, I was very fat as a kid.

5′ 3″ 185 pounds fat. 44 inch waist at 13 years old fat. Hella fat.

Then at 15, lost all the weight and – comparatively speaking to what I used to look like – looked pretty good. Was also a lot smarter than most people my age due to the fact I had zero friends and studied all the time.

So I was thin, smart, and not so bad looking. Combined with years of getting bullied, I became just a rotten teenager. Arrogant and mean. And I was that way for a while. But that’s a story for another time.

In any case, I see what happened to me as the interwebs as that on a massive, global scale. Where the powerless and nobodies can become superstars. And it’s cliched how quickly people can become cruel for no reason when given the opportunity.

It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized that anyone can be unkind; that’s easy. Ellen DeGeneres said that most comedy is based on getting a laugh at someone else’s expense. Think that’s true.

A reader once wrote me that he thought my blog was the most “un-ranty” one he reads. Suppose that’s because, I realized that I got lucky in life. And my comedy, if any, is at my expense.

Anywho, I bring this all up cause my brother just sent me a link to a comedian named Chris Gethard who wrote a long, heart-felt message to an anonymous fan that felt suicidal. I enjoyed it for a number of reasons – one of which is that it talks about suicide, which I think more people should do. The other of which is that it was kind.

Say it all the time: Thank goodness for the good souls.

Location: a yellow bed
Mood: still crazy busy
Music: cannot reach a pen for me to draw the line
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

I’ll probably say the same thing every year

Another September 11th – everything changes and everything stays the same

On the way to my gym class the other day, ran across a young boy, his mom, and an older fella playing on a foosball table at Herald Square. Motioned to the mother, holding Syd, if I could take a picture of them. She hesitated but I smiled and she smiled and nodded.

Another day in the big city.

———-

Recently, a fella called in a bomb scare because he wanted to get back at his current girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. He’d evidently posted pictures on Facebook – post-breakup – of her in compromising positions.

In any case, the guy that made the call got arrested, and the ex-boyfriend got arrested also cause it turned out he had outstanding warrants against him.

It just goes to prove my theory that your friends – and those you surround yourself with – mirror you.

Me: So she went from dating an obvious douchebag to dating another douchebag.
Her: Yes. The shaded part of the venn diagram for all of them would read, “Douchebag.”

———-

Got a lotta comments and emails regarding my post about writing a good dating profile but: (a) I’m swamped with work and (b) tomorrow is September 11th so I’m feeling a bit pensive. I’ll just address everything at the end of this week or some time next week?

On the topic of September 11th, it’s now been over a decade. Seems hard to believe. Suppose I’ll say the same thing every year.

Which makes sense, cause I’m pretty sure I’ll feel the same around this time, every year.

On a much lighter note, however, my wife Alison has started her own blog called Pure Provender on my second favourite topic: food.

Location: all over the map today
Mood: crazy busy and slightly sad
Music: you’re like a paper aeroplane that never seems to land
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Why is that even a choice?

How I spent my Labour Day 2012

Got a number of interesting emails and comments on my last post. I’ll write the follow up at some point soon. Let me know if you ended up using any of my tips.

BTW, if you Google other posts on how to write dating profiles, the “tips” are mostly sophomorically inane – be nice, smile, etc. Everyone thinks that because they’ve gone out on ten or 15 dates, they can give advice on it. I wonder how many of them they’ve actually done the disappointing and been the disappointed time-and-time again.

It’s not as easy as one might think; constantly being the dumper and the dumpee.

———-

Spent mosta the weekend trying to fix one of my computers.

There’s this scene – either from Family Guy or SNL or something like that – where a man is playing with a dial. On that dial is a series of gradients such as “warm,” “hot,” “hotter ‘n hell,” “hotter than the sun,” etc.

So one guy flips it to the top selection and then screams in pain, Why is that even a choice?! Why does it go so high!?

In Windows, there’s a selection to turn a disk into something called a “dynamic disk.” It’s literally a 1/2 second choice. In any case, if you do it to your main drive, it becomes a doorstop. Later I read that it can be done to any drive but the main drive.

That’s how I spent 95% of my holiday weekend, trying to fix it.

Was not able to fix it.

The other 5% of my weekend was spent seeing friends. One was a friend of the wife’s who stopped by.

The other was that old law school buddy of mine that I ran into downtown a few years back. She invited me to a party recently and – while I turn down invitations now – said yes cause she was one of the people in law school I actually liked.

Went to their home out in Hoboken, which was amazingly nice. Brought her a bottle of rum (of course) as a housewarming gift and met a buncha people I didn’t know. Spoke to one woman about her dating life.

Me: There’s no such thing as a line.
Her: Of course there is, like “Are you a runner? Because you were just running through my mind.”
Me: There’s no such thing as a line because if you want to talk to him, you just end up talking to him, regardless of what he says. And if you don’t nuthin he says will make a difference. A bunch of people have said, “Oh that’s just a line.”
Her: And what do you say?
Me: (shrugging) I just say, You’re talking to me, aren’t you?

———-

Went home to see the wife, who surprised me earlier with a bottle of Ron Zacapa XO Rum.

Her: You were having a rough week, so I thought you’d like a nice bottle of rum.
Me: (beaming) You’re the best wife ever!

Location: my humid room
Mood: busy
Music: I’d never make it through without you around
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1- Men

How to Write an Effective Dating Profile

Read below for the updated and expanded A Great Online Dating Profile.

———

I’ve written or helped write roughly 20 dating profile pages on Match, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, and eHarmony. Most have done pretty well including some engagements and a few long-term relationships.

As I’ve said many times in the past, if you’re single, online dating should be part of your dating curriculum.

But, if you’re like most men, you receive something like one response out of every 30 emails you send. And no one contacts you out of the blue.

My response rate was roughly 1 out of 8, which is really good considering all my various faults.

Here are ten tips to help you up your response rate:

1. Search for men first, before you do anything

If you are a 35 year-old 5’8″, dorky Asian male, search for 25-35 year old 5’6″-5’10”, dorky Asian males. Why? Because this is your competition. If you are older, switch to a senior singles dating site, really.

Click on their profiles.

  • What do you like? Do more of that.
  • What sounds lame? Do less of that.

Spend two days on this before you even start to post anything. This is the single most important thing to do and I’ve honestly never met anyone besides me who did that. Do the things no one else does and you’re ahead of the game already.

And yes, people will say this isn’t a competition but they will also tell you that supply-side economics works. It does not and online dating is a competition. Winner gets a date.

2. Write your profile as a response to a response.

Most men write their profile as if a woman will search through profiles, find them, and then try and contact them. That *rarely* happens. Most women put up a profile and then have to wade through an avalanche of emails or as my friend Kay put it: “OMG, Logan – why didn’t you warn me about all the emails I’d get!?”

So, write your profile as if someone liked what you sent her enough to check out your profile. Because 99.89% of your interactions will be:

email from you->read your profile->email to you
and NOT:
search-> read your profile->email to you

In other words, the profile supports the email, not the other way around. If you stop here, you already know more than the vast majority of your competition.

Want more? OK, moving on.

3. Tell a story

Because you listened to me, you went through roughly 100-200 profiles of your competition. And you saw that the almost everyone lists his/her attributes like a resume.

As I said, be different.

We live our lives through stories. What are movies, TV shows, even songs but stories? A resume is not a story. A story has characters, plot, cliffhangers, etc.

Write a story, not a resume. Why should she contact you? What will you two do? Make her laugh and want to find out how the story ends with her playing the part of the female lead.

4. Be fun and friendly

Sarcasm is difficult to pull off so avoid that. Similarly, do NOT be deep, because you will come off creepy. Think about meeting a girl at a party and her talking about famine in Africa. There’s a time and place for everything. This is not that time nor that place.

Instead, be witty, smart, and funny. If you are not witty, smart, and funny, take an improv class and learn how to be. This is crucially important for reasons far beyond putting up a dating profile.

Ask yourself, If I were a woman – that has the qualities that I’m looking for – would I be interested in the guy in this profile. If the answer is no, get to editing.

Look at this as a chance to be better than you were yesterday.

5. LOL and =) are persona non grata

Again, you’ve listened to me and went through your competition’s profiles, what was the most common thing you saw? Let me guess – a plethora of smiley faces and LOLs.

Two kinds of people use smiley faces and LOLs:

  • 14 year old girls
  • Men that cannot use the English language

If you are neither, do not use them. Because what you’re really saying is:

=) I hope and pray that you don’t take what I’m saying too seriously because *I* don’t take what I say too seriously for I am not a serious man. LOL Please take pity on me and see that I’m a genuinely good soul that wants you to pick me even though I am clearly not worth your time. =-) Please? LOL, just kidding (kinda).  🙂

Please write me. =) I’m tired of living at home with my mom. HA – kidding! No really, I’m desparate. Help me.  🙂

6. Spell Check / Grammar check / Format check

“Desparate” is spelled “Desperate.” Pick up a Strunk and White while you’re at it. A grammatically-correct, explicative-free profile will – on that alone – stand out. Also, skip spaces between thoughts, also known as: make paragraphs. Otherwise your profile will look like one block of words that people will not want to have to wade through as if it were a collegiate textbook. Just as this paragraph looks like with three separate thoughts but no carriage returns.

7. Write one line as to what you are NOT looking for

Again, go through your competition. Tick off how many of them write what they do not want.

On my profile I wrote, “If you’ve cheated on someone before, no need to contact me.” Because it’s true. If someone has cheated on a boyfriend before, I have major issues with that. If nothing else, this shows you have some standards.

And if you see everyone else’s profile, they want to hear from everyone. You do not.

As an interesting note, one brown-eyed woman actually wrote me to say that she did cheat but that was when she was young. We ended up going on a few dates.

7a. On that note: Don’t just write about you, write about them

This is a high-risk / high-return move that women do all the time but men rarely do in their profiles. Describe your ideal girl somewhere in your profile. Is she tall? Blond? Busty? Nerdy? Working? etc.

Women have no problem stating what they prefer and do not. Nor should you.

I would say do this after you’ve gone on a few dates though, as it does lower your responses but does raise the quality – at least in terms of what you actually want.

8. Make good use of pictures in your profile

If you don’t put up a picture, you should expect zero responses. After all, admit it, the women you like put up pics. So you must as well.

A friend of mine that does well on the boards and I disagree on the number of pics to put up; he puts up one good pic. I put up a dozen pics.

If you put up one, make sure that it’s really, really good – preferably of you in a suit. Because on your first date, you will not be wearing a suit so let her know you clean up nice.

If you put up a dozen, try to include the following:

  • One with you doing something you love.
  • One with you at a party – you can have fun. Do not over do this. Women like men, not boys.
  • One artsy shot – you can be artsy.
  • One showing off a good physical feature – tread carefully and see #9 below.
  • One with you and your mom or dad – come on, we love seeing people with their folks.

For all of them, I always like to write: “You should know, these pics are recent – just like yours, yes?”

Again, be fun.

9. Have a female friend check your profile

Have a female friend look over your profile and give you her honest thoughts BUT make it more than one if possible. Because not all women are the same; what one female friend likes, another may hate. So listen, consider all the facts, and then either take their advice or don’t.

Note that if you don’t have female friends to look over your profile, you’ve made some errors in judgement in your life. Just like with the Improv class, take this as a chance to be better.

A buddy of mine hits on every girl he meets regardless of how wrong they are for him. That leads to thinking of women as “other.” They are not “other.”

When Harry Met Sally was a movie written by Hollywood writers; it has the air of truth to it but no real truth to it. Men and women can and should be friends.

10. Give them a reason to write you

Do you love the 1960s funk music? Then say it. If you go though all the other profiles, you’ll sense something and you won’t be able to put your finger on what that is. It took me a while to figure it out but here’s what it is:

A palpable aura of BS masked by false bravado.

I’ve found on dating boards, just like in life, the truth is a powerful, powerful thing. People crave it. If you love making and eating chili to the point that it’s a major part of your life, say so.

I met a woman that made a killer white bean chicken chili that way. Truth is powerful. Don’t mask it. You may meet a person that says “Me too” and what is love, if not finding someone that says, “Me too!”

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Thanks to my wife who lets me write things like this and was also kind enough to add:

11. Never use the lines: I work hard and I play hard, and I always have my passport handy.

…no you don’t. Don’t lie and don’t be say what everyone else says.

If you liked this entry, I just wrote a quick little book in April 2014 on how to write A Great Online Dating Profile with 30 tips to get noticed and get more responses – it’s just $0.99 at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store, as well as most other online retailers:

A Great Online Dating ProfileI also wrote a book about first dates with information I just haven’t seen in other books that I learned from three solid years of dating in NYC.

A Great First Date, early 2014It’s just $2.99 at at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store.

  • You can also read the first 25% of it online now by clicking here!
  • Click on the Dating tag to see how my dating life went – the earlier stories are the more entertaining ones, IMHO. You can also click here to find out what finally happened to me.
  • Check out the comments to reach other people’s thoughts on these sites (and maybe leave a thought of your own).
  • Check out my previous post: Online dating: eHarmony vs. Match vs. Plenty of Fish vs. OK Cupid.
  • Also check out 15 Things Every Man Should Know.
  • Check out the comments to read other people’s thoughts on these sites (and maybe leave a thought of your own).
  • Finally, click here to subscribe to this blog OR follow me on Twitter: @logan607

Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

Why are we nastiest to the people we know best?

Brother’s girlfriend: Do you think your wife would like some of these cute frog clips? (holds them up)
Me: No, we try to keep our house free of junk. (shaking head) Wait, that’s not…
Her: (laughing) I’m sorry I offered you my junk!

Some times it’s just carelessness. Most times, though, it’s just the odd nature of familiarity where you’re the cruelest to the people that you’re the closest to.

Had a conversation almost exactly five years ago, with someone whose name and face I don’t recall. But I remember the conversation cause it was the same one I’d had before in the past and again in the future.

Essentially, asked her why she kept going on all these dates if they ended up so bad. She said it was cause she hoped this time, this time’ll be different.

But, for better or worse, when we meet new people, we usually wear masks; we look just a little bit better, stand a little bit taller, and act a little bit nicer.

For my part, I actually shave.

Sometimes the person with whom it’s finally different ends up in the same place once the masks come off.

Think that’s also why we treat the people closest to us the worst. Cause we wear those masks at first and it’s easier with strangers to keep those masks on. It’s harder to keep them on with the people you’re closest to.

Went out to see the rents the other day to help them hook up some random technology.  Got frustrated cause my dad kept confusing two different types of cables.

Barked at him and then immediately felt ashamed when I realized I was yelling at a 70+ year old man.

Like to be a father someday. And if I’m lucky enough to be one, hope he or she doesn’t yell at me cause I can’t tell the difference between the flux-capacitor and the wireless power charger when I’m an old man.

Then again, suppose fathers and sons’re meant to argue about nonsense.

Me: No dad, that’s the power. A power cable’s black! It’s always black! The other cable’s the ethernet cable. They’re completely different!
Him: Sorry, it’s hard for me to tell the difference.
Me: (embarrassed) That’s ok, dad. Sorry I yelled.

Location: getting ready for a meeting
Mood: tired
Music: get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Categories
personal

There’s something about a walk

84th Street and Amsterdam Avenue in NYC

The day after my last entry, went to see if she was still there – a number of readers and friends sent me several ideas how to help. But she wasn’t there. Checked again the next day and night and then once more two days later.

Suppose I’ll try again this week.

I’m not sure this isn’t a good thing. Cause in my head, someone else helped her out. Maybe some family came? One can only hope.

Life’s hard enough without your people, poison, and pad.

————

Went for a long walk on Saturday. Part of it was cause I had some work to do in my area, the other part is that I just like to clear my head.

Something about stress simultaneously compresses and elongates time.

For example, I remember that during my last really bad breakup (holy cow, six years ago) that the minutes dragged on like hours and at the end of each day, I thought: Well, made it through another one.

On the other hand, deadlines for work at that time seemed to spring up from nowhere and I’d scramble to get things done.

There’s something about a long walk that evens it all out, if only for just a little bit.

When I was dating a lot, I remember taking the long walk home after a date or a night out. Always said I’d tell you what that was someday.

If I was downtown, it was usually in the LES so that meant walking from the lower east side across either Houston to Canal to catch my ride home. If I was uptown, that usually meant walking from midtown to home.

And when my insomnia was at it’s worst, I’d do the latter in reverse, just to see the bright lights.

Yeah, there’s something about a long walk that evens it all out, if only for just a little bit.

BTW, regular post on on Wednesday but on Friday, I’m thinking of posting a page – especially for men – on how to put up a good dating profile page on Match et al…

Location: the past weekend, all over the UWS
Mood: groggy
Music: Hold on cause the world will turn if you’re ready or not
Subscribe!