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Travelogue: Mexico 2023 Pt 1

First Class and With Children

Robert Benchley once said, “In America, there are two classes of travel: First class, and with children.”

Well, I recently traveled with two kids, and it wasn’t awful.

See, the boy’s seven, soon to be eight.

My MILs taken him across the country to see his cousins, my BIL, at least twice now, maybe three times? And my SIL’s taken him to a few beach vacations, while the ABFF’s taken him away to some upstate pool parties.

Me? Well, with the exception of heading to see my buddies in other states for BBQs, Legoland, and Great Wolf Lodge, I feel that I’ve not really taken him away any place significant in all these years.

When I first met the Firecracker, she mentioned that she and her kid were gonna head to a Disney Cruise.

Her: Have you ever been?
Me: Cruising? Yeah, I love cruising.
Her: What about a Disney cruise?
Me: Never had a kid when I went cruising a lot so, def not.
Her: You should do it. It’s great – the kids go to a private party, and you get some adult alone time.
Me: Sold!

Within a week of our meeting, she told me all the details about her cruise and invited me to maybe go with her.

Me: (laughing) What if we don’t get along and my kid and I book the trip?
Her: It’s big enough for us to completely avoid each other.
Me: These are compelling points.

I actually had a friend of my sister’s hold a cabin for me two doors down from her cabin. Because…well, hope springs eternal. And I had a good feeling about her.

Obvs if it didn’t work out, I woulda just cancelled the hold. But we clearly got along so well that I ended up telling her a few months after we were dating that I did that.

Her: You did? You’re coming?
Me: Looks that way.
Her: Yay! This will be great.
Me: That’s the thing with relationships: The difference between romantic and stalker is just whether or not the person’s into the romantic stalker.
Her: That is so true.

So, the kid and I took a trip to Miami – and some other places – with the Firecracker and her kid the other day.

I’ll tell you all about it.

Location: bed, waiting until noon to leave
Mood: headachy
Music: we talk about life but I wanna live it (Spotify)
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Decisions are processes, not events

Coffeetime?

Me: Man, this coffee is great…wait, what time is it?
Her: (checking watch) 3:23?
Me: Dammit!

When we were out in Long Island, the Firecracker and I chatted about being parents, which we usually do.

The most important thing for me, as a parent, is to teach the kid how to think critically think.

Again, how to think, not what to think.

The recent Titanic sub disaster made me think a lot about smart people making terrible decisions.

James Cameron, the director of the film Titanic – and an amateur sub enthusiast himself – said that he knew exactly what happened to the sub before alla the details were even out.

It’s easy to call the CEO’s decisions things like stupid and moronic but it’s a lot more complex, and dangerous, than that.

Because people seem to look at decisions like singular events:

      • I decided to go to law school.
      • I decided to have waffles for brekkie.

But they’re not that at all: All decisions are the cumulation of processes in our heads:

      • I decided to go to law school because my dad wanted me to and I didn’t feel I was ready to stop learning yet. And each of those two reasons had many reasons beneath that; my dad felt that lawyers and doctors were the best professions that two children of immigrants could have. Plus, I spent my life alone with books, so I wanted to find a way to continue that.
      • I do occasionally have waffles for breakfast, but only when I haven’t had carbs in a while so I’m in a relative deficit of carbs and can “afford,” to splurge on something like waffles. But if I do that, I then have to be in the gym for two consecutive days.

Sometimes these processes happen in the blink of an eye, sometimes, these decisions take weeks, months, or even years to fully happen.

The CEO most likely made a series of smaller poor decisions based on various cognitive biases that he had – the worst decision being to use carbon fiber for the hull instead of metal – ultimately resulting in the disaster.

What I’m hoping to give this kid are good tools to process each step of any decision as best as he can.

Which is not, at all, to say that it’s or I’m perfect.

I’ve made some terrible decisions in life; decisions that I still ruminate on late in the night when I can’t sleep.

And I try to figure out which tool I ignored, disregarded, or am simply missing.

For example, I have a rule where I never have coffee/caffeine after 3PM.

But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve disregarded that rule for one reason or another – societal pressure, sunk cost bias, confirmation bias, optimism bias, overconfidence, etc – with disastrous results.

My son will make bad decisions in life. That’s what people do and that’s part of how we learn.

I just hope that (a) they’re not decisions that he can’t change later on and (b) he continually makes more good decisions than bad ones, and (c) he gets better at making good decisions as he ages.

I’m still working on alla that myself.

Me: I guess I’ll just toss it. Seems like such a waste.
Her: Do you want to be up all night?
Me: (sigh) Fair. What a shame…

Location: bed, waiting until noon to leave
Mood: headachy
Music: Feel the heat increase and my mind’s racing (Spotify)
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Dinner with my mom’s BFF

My mom’s tribe

After we finished our coffee, we drove by this once-small mall that I used to go to – it expanded quite a bit over the last few years.

Me: When I used to come here, there were only two stores. Now look at it.
Her: Wow, it’s definitely not two stores anymore.

She wanted to get some decorations for her place for the coming holidays.

Her: I always wanted the space and money to have holiday decorations for all the holidays.
Me: That’s tough to do anywhere, let alone Manhattan.
Her: Oooh, look! Halloween decorations!

Afterward, we went to have dinner with my mom’s best friend, her daughter, Mary, and her daughter’s boyfriend.

I met Mary when she was like two years old, and she and my sister were great friends. Her dad, Nick, passed away a few years ago and I told you about him.

Actually, ran into her once years ago not too far from my pad and she got to meet my son, but he was maybe two years old himself at the time.

In any case, my mom’s best friend had been wanting to see my son for a while so we went to have dinner at her house.

We were supposed to order food in, but Mary’s mom had clearly spent all day cooking because there was so much killer food, including appetizers of meatballs that my kid devoured.

Me: Your mom was a major reason why I was fat.
Mary: What?! You can’t blame my mom for that.
Me: I loved everything she ever made, have zero self-control, and can’t take personal responsibility for my actions.

The kid actually ate so many of the meatballs that he didn’t want dinner, which I kinda figured.

The Firecracker and everyone got along just swimmingly, which I knew they would.

Mary said I helped her with her SATs, which I vaguely remember, but it seems like lifetimes ago.

Afterward, we all talked about how we met.

Me: I can’t stand the apps but it’s a part of modern life now.
Mary’s Boyfriend: I didn’t mind the apps that much.
Me: I do have to say that you meet people that you’d never meet otherwise.

I think it’s amazing that my mom and her best friend met and kept in touch all these years.

When my dad died, she was a constant source of comfort and the same was true when Nick died.

Find it pretty adorable that these two immigrant women who speak broken English found each other and have been in each other’s lives for all this time.

Like I said, we spend our lives looking for our tribe.

My mom and Mary’s mom found it in each other, and I think I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Me: Thanks so much for everything! Let’s do this again soon – 30 years is way too long.
Mary’s mom: Yes!
Me: I’ll schedule you in for 2033. Maybe August…

Location: surrounded by kids and water
Mood: excited
Music: bring back the water, let your ships roll in (Spotify)
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A Birthday and then Coffee

Adult Conversation

Because the kid and his cousins on my side have been getting sick constantly, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to see my mom and sis.

But it was my nephew’s birthday the other day so the Firecracker, the kid, and I all took a train ride out to their place the other day and had a kid’s birthday lunch with them.

The birthday boy wanted Burger King so that’s what we did.

Her: You ordered a Triple Whopper AND a chicken sandwich?!
Me: (sheepishly) It’s a small chicken sandwich.

I like to see my family but the Firecracker – because she’s from the south – just likes to be where there’re trees. So, she’s always happy to come with.

After the lunch, the Firecracker and I borrowed my mom’s car to take a drive out to my usual Long Island Barnes and Noble where we just got two cups of coffee and some peace and quiet.

Don’t get me wrong, we both love our kids.

But if you don’t have kids of your own, you can’t fully appreciate the joy of just having a cuppa joe and some adult conversations.

Although, some adult conversations are better than others.

Me: I rode that bus right there for over an hour to go to a date one time. I saw a movie…I think “Scrooged?”
Her: (shocked) Wow! You’re old! (laughs)
Me: (laughing) That has to go in the blog.
Her: I’m sorry! I normally don’t even think about the age difference, but you were on a date, and I was a toddler.

Afterward, we went to some other places and then met with some family friends I’ve known over four decades for dinner.

But this is getting long so I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow.

Location: bed, listening to a radio blast outside, despite being 11 stories up
Mood: wide awake
Music: higher than a kite and I’ve been painting the sky (Spotify)
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The Logan Lowest thing

Venus and Flowers

Her: Out of all the Logan Lo things about you, this has got to be the Logan Lowest thing.
Me: It was from the neck up!

This isn’t the actual picture I sent in, but you get the idea.

Had to send in a selfie really urgently to try to secure this trip I have planned for me and the kid so I just snapped one and sent it in while it was top of mind.

Unfortunately, it was when I was already in bed and I wasn’t wearing a shirt – I do note that the picture was mainly from the neck up.

BUT it got flagged and rejected so I had to redo it or lose a chance to get a really affordable trip – something that’s a luxury for us since I’ve never actually been able to go on a trip with the boy in any meaningful way.

Her: What were you thinking, Lo?!
Me: I was thinking I needed to do this immediately, so I did!
Her: (shakes head)

While I’m certain she has questions about my judgment, she did take a walk home with me the other night.

We stopped by Venus et Fleur at Columbus Circle. They had real roses that last a year…and cost $1,000.

Me: I can pretty much promise you that I’ll never get you $1,000 flowers.
Her: I wouldn’t want you to! Still, they’re beautiful.
Me: Not $1,000 beautiful! We should leave because we’re both so clumsy that we’re bound to destroy like $10,000 worth of flowers here.
Her: (thinks then turns to leave) That’s very true…

Location: West End Avenue, in the rain, being told he’s a good kid
Mood: headache-y
Music: you’ve got the pulse, pulse of the city (Spotify)
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You’re kidding me

Phrasing!

Me: Did you pack your lunch?
Him: Yes.
Me: Are you sure you packed your lunch?
Him: Yes!

The boy got strep throat the other day. It was a comedy of errors.

I’d dropped him off at his summer camp and I just arrived home when I got a call from one of the camp counselors.

Her: Your son said he left his lunch on the bench.
Me: You’re kidding me. (walk over to bench) Jesus Christ…
Her: It’s ok, we can buy him…
Me: (interrupting) No, it’s fine. I’ll come back and bring him his lunch. (hang up) *grumble*

So, off I went again to drop off his lunch.

An hour later I get another call.

Her: Your son said he doesn’t feel well.
Me: You’re kidding me.
Her: He said his head hurts and he has a sore throat.
Me: OK, I can be there at 2PM.
Her: Great. We’ll tell him.

Managed to get a doctor’s appointment that afternoon and we saw the doc less than 30 minutes after I picked him up.

That was a bit of good news/luck in an otherwise unlucky day.

Her: Yup, he’s got strep. It’s pretty common. He’ll be fine after 24 hours but you gotta make sure he continues to take the meds for the full 10 days.
Me: Got it, Doc.

What stinks is that that the very next day, we had three orchestra tix for a show that he was dying to see – and they were ridonk expensive for just an hour show.

Him: I can’t go?!
Me: Sorry, kiddo. We don’t wanna ruin other people’s summer vacation, do we?
Him: (sadly) I guess not.
Me: I’ll make it up to you, kid. Promise.

Then, the Firecracker and I started feeling off so we managed to get a doctor’s appointment for ourselves that same day.

There were two funny things about that doctor’s office – the first is that it was the same office I went to when I got into that scooter accident. They turned me away because I had a head injury.

The second funny thing was that there were pictures of TV and movie doctors everywhere.

Anywho, it turns out that neither of us had staph, we were just being waaay too cautious – I had stayed home with the kid for a couplea days until we got the results back just so as not to get anyone else sick.

After we left the doctor’s office, we walked around looking for my favourite bottle of rum.

The kid’s fine now, and back in camp.

As for me, I’ve been pretty good lately, although both the kid’s and my not feeling well meant that the pad got a little messy.

Her: Logan, can’t you clean up? Go put your nuts against the wall.
Me: (laughing)
Her: Your can of nuts, sitting in the middle of your countertop!
Me: Phrasing, Firecracker, phrasing!

She sent this to me recently on IG. I’m gonna assume that means she wants to keep me around.

Location: The gym, for the first time in days
Mood: headachey
Music: I ruin good things ’cause I feel guilty when I’m happy (Spotify)
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Running into a possible past

Making the right choice

Me: Sometimes, I wonder what my life woulda been like if I went to Dresden for that LLM.
Her: Well, there’d be no [son], no Alison, and no Firecracker.
Me: Maybe I’d have a son named, “Hansel.”

My kid went to a bday party around the way today and it was an interesting experience, at least for me.

Years ago, my buddies Johnny, RE Mike, Sheridan, and I all met up a few blocks south of my pad to check out a building that was for sale.

We were potentially gonna buy it, back before everything went to hell and I actually had some scratch.

We almost bought it, but Johnny felt it woulda been too much work. He wasn’t wrong per se but, in hindsight, I wish we did it.

Then again, Johnny and RE Mike never did get along.

Anywho, the reason I was thinking alla this is because the party took place inside the building we once almost bought.

It was markedly different/better than when I first saw it.

Most of the building was renovated with the first floor rented out to a small business.

Alla the things that Johnny was concerned about were addressed and it was fascinating to see the directions the new owners went in.

I spend a lotta time thinking about my possible pasts; what my life would have been like had I taken one path over another.

Used to do it pretty often when I was younger but, as the years go on and the branches accumulate, I find myself there in more situations.


Still, I can’t imagine a life without my son or Alison.

And the Firecracker has been an unexpectedly nice surprise in my life.

Her: (laughs) Yes, but he wouldn’t be [your son], he would have been someone different.
Me: Then I made the right choice then.

Speaking of Dresden, the Firecracker and I’ve been discussing heading to Europe together at some point while her friend was away and staying at the friend’s pad.

I’ll let you know if that happens.

Location: A building I almost bought before my old life ended
Mood: pensive
Music: Down like the sun at the end of the day (Spotify)
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Dinner at Iris’ and then a walk

40-60 Hours?!

Me: Hey, it’s Restaurant Week again.
Her: We should go out…oh, wait, that should be our thing!

Last week was pretty roasting so this week is a welcome respite from the heat.

Having said that, it was the last week we had without our kids so we went out to eat at Iris Restaurant in midtown.

The cuisine was Mediterranean, which is amongst my faves.

Pretty much everything was killer.

Afterward, we ended up walking home and stopping by The Shops at Columbus Circle, particularly Williams-Sonoma.

Me: I like looking at all the stuff I can’t afford, and can’t fit into my tiny apartment.
Her: But it’s still nice to look. (later) Hey – F for Firecracker!

The boy came back not soon afterward, as did her son.

It’s nice to have a bit of time off from being parents but we both missed our kids a lot.

I think the boy’s starting to realize that the effects of a vacation are quickly forgotten once you return to your real life.

Him: Wait, when did I come back from grandma’s?
Me: (puzzled) What? You came back yesterday.
Him: (incredulous) I did?! It feels like so long ago.
Me: (laughing) You’re not gonna enjoy working 40-60 hours a week.
Him: 40-60 HOURS?!
Me: (laughing more)

Location: Staples in the UWS, recycling lithium batteries
Mood: beat
Music: Was it all that easy? (Spotify)
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A dive-y birtday in the UWS

Anchoring in the aways

It was the ABFF’s birthday the other day so I invited her and the Firecracker to a local dive bar because I’m classy like that.

It started off normal enough, with just some burgers, chips, and guac…

…and some boardgames.

Things started to go sideways – at least for me – when I got the table some jello shots.

Her: Oh man, I can’t remember the last time I had one of these.
Me: I think it was around the turn of the century for me.

Again, I’m nuthin if not classy.

And the waiter comped us some really gross fireball shots.

That’s when the carbs started happening.

Something about greasy carbs when I’m drinking makes me feel particularly gross and this was no exception.

I didn’t last too much longer after that.

While we did stay out for some four hours, the Firecracker was happy that we got home at a reasonable hour – although, based on our conversations, we probably shoulda ended earlier.

Firecracker: That’s one good thing about your being so old, we have early nights.
Me: Who are you calling old?!
Her: You, old man. (later) Look, if you want your anchor in my away, you’re gonna have to make sure my boat is floating.
Me: What does that even mean?!
Her: See, you’re old.

Location: home, surrounded by the kid and his friend, who kept tripping on stuff
Mood: still hungry after four tacos, two turkey sandwiches, three oranges, and a baga chips. I want more.
Music: joy up on my face. Oh, sunshine in an empty place (Spotify)
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I’m not an activist

The Dragon Combat Club

Last Thursday was hot and steamy in the city. If I had the option, I woulda stayed home all day.

But I didn’t have that option because my buddy Hen Z – who’s a Paxibellum student of both kali and BJJ – invited me to come to the premier of a short video about a group that he started, called the:

“Dragon Combat Club, a grassroots self-defense organization formed in the wake of brutal anti-Asian attacks. The film they made explores community solidarity, self-expression, and the fundamental right to be safe.”

So, at 7PM last week, made my way down to 87 Lafayette St, which actually turned out to be an abandoned Fire Station, number 31.

There, I ran into my buddies Katrina and Prin – both of whom take kali and BJJ at Paxibellum as well.

It was weird, I felt like a mini-celebrity because I met so many people that knew me from Scenic Fights.

Him: Hi! Are you…?
Me: (holding out hand) Logan, nice to meet you.
Him: I’ve seen all your videos!

Which makes sense because Scenic Fights and I were part of the germination of the concept of using weapons for self-defense.

I’d been watching Hen and his group grow from an idea to its current status as a community-based organization and I’m glad he’s doing it to try and be a positive influence for the Asian-American community.

The video itself was pretty cool, and relatively short – I’ve linked to it below and think it’s worth the 10 minutes that it runs.

For some reason, though, the organizers cut the fans for a solid 15 minutes or so in the beginning and the air conditioners weren’t doing much at all.

I was melting during that time and couldn’t really cool down much, even after they turned the fans back on.

Still, it was a good experience and one I’m glad to have been a part of, however ancillarily.

Speaking of Scenic Fights, this is a wild thing to wrap my head around, but it turns out that, just on YouTube, we’ve had over 101 million – 101 MILLION – views.

That’s full-on nuts.

Then again, I really do believe what I wrote below in my IG account:

Location: home, trying to hook up an eGPU via thunderbolt and a G29 steering wheel via that to a NUC for the boy
Mood: exhausted but fulla tacos
Music: woke up knowing where I am, if just a little bit (Spotify)
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