Author: Logan Lo

My Google Profile+

Categories
personal

And in the “I knew it!” file…

Study shows that people that meet online are less likely to get divorced


A recent study came out that showed that:

  1. more than a third of people that marry met online, and
  2. are less likely to divorce.

This makes sense to me. As I said before, online dating is like having an aunt named Aunt eMatch saying, “I’ve got a girl I think you might like – and here’s her resume, a buncha pics, and a writing sample.”

While I didn’t meet my wife online, she represents exactly what I was looking for. And I’d been looking for her for a while. After all, we’re always looking for our people.

On a related point, because of a number of reasons, I have a good deal of twenty-something friends on FB. I’m always slightly amused and nauseated at how much the profess their undying love to each other, then have an online spat, and then sign on again to write egregiously bad poetry about soulmates.

Heard a joke once where someone said something like, Your soulmate is the guy that had the locker next to you in high school? What are the chances?!

Dating is tiring and depressing with occasionally bright spots of hope – mainly because it’s a constant stream of being disappointed and disappointing others. But just like anything of value, if it were easy, it wouldn’t be valuable.

The difficult and rare things are valuable.

I think a large part of divorces happen because either (a) someone wanted it easy, and/or (b) there wasn’t enough connection to begin with.

There’s no such thing as a soulmate. There is such thing as a lotta hard work and having enough in common to begin with.

Inadvertent comedy doesn’t hurt either.

Me: (entering room) Are you ok?
Her: I just accidentally typed in Wetflix instead of Netflix. (pause) I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

Location: about to run to an office in shorts and a tee-shirt
Mood: contented
Music: It’s still hard to wait around. The problem is this seems so easy to miss
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Core belief 3: You are what you decide to be

America is full of second acts

Don’t know if I mentioned why my bone is chipped in my right hand; it’s because one of my students whacked it with a sword a few weeks ago. The doc said rest was the best thing because of how it was hit.

So I spent the week continuing with spring cleaning.  Finally felt good enough to go back to the gym over the weekend.

Coach: There’s always something wrong with you!
Me: But I keep coming back.
Him: This is true.

I woke up one day years ago and decided to be a fencer. And now I am one.

Just like I decided one day to be a lawyer after being a network analyst.

Not that long ago, I decided to be a wrestler.

There’s this famous quote from the fella that wrote The Great Gatsby that goes: There are no second acts in American lives.

I’ll add it to the list of things that have the air of truth without any actual truth to it.

Because that’s pure hogwash.

It’s one of my core beliefs – and the truth – that America is nothing if not an endless series of new beginnings. My heroes inevitably tend to be examples of second acts, like the amazing Hedy Lamarr.

People decide to start on their second acts all the time. But the only difference among them is that some press on and others do not.

There’s this rather sentimental saying in the Brazilian Ju-Jitsu world that a black belt is merely a white belt that kept trying.

But unlike Fitzgerald’s saying, that one’s actually true.

And so, injured knee, injured neck, torn muscles, and fractured thumb, notwithstanding, I keep showing up. For no reason other than I choose to.

I’m finding that alone is makes all the difference.

Her: I asked my dad what he did about his arthritis.
Me: What did he say?
Her: He said he takes glucosamine and is more careful doing things. (pause) Oh, and he says he tries not to get whacked by swords.

 

Location: my room, which is about 100000 degrees
Mood: ambitious
Music: what I want and what I need, can finally be the same
Subscribe!

Categories
personal

Mobile Phone Food Photo Post for Friday

Headed out to the Wilds of NJ to meet some friends

 

Met up with Nadi and some friends in Morristown NJ for dinner last night. No real reason, we just meet up every so often.

Me: Can I get a pina colada? (table groans) What? It’s summertime. And: rum.
Nadi: I wonder if there have umbrellas here.
Waitress: (with drink) I had him make a little fruit garnish for you.
Me: Sweeeeeeeet.

Also ended up having some mussels with pomme frites (good, but I liked mine better)…

 

And chicken and waffles – which was the only thing we didn’t enjoy…

 

Before I took the train home.

 

Summer’s already here. I’ll need more rum.

Location: At the start of summer, sigh
Mood: heated
Music: Stylin my metaphors when I formulate my flows (uh)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Spring – I’m sure gonna miss you when you’re gone

Don’t get much of a spring here but we’ll take what we can get

 

Here’s what I’m rocking right now:

  • A chipped bone in my right thumb.
  • One light tear or heavy bruise on my left intercostal muscle between my 8th and 9th rib.
  • One cadaver ACL
  • A sore neck from wrassling.

Here’s the kicker: It still beats running.

The weather’s been nice so I took a stroll around the hood.

New York generally goes from winter straight into summer but this year there was a slight spring, although it going to hit the 90s by tomorrow and stay there for a bit.

Years ago, said that something about spring makes you want to reassess and realign your life – spring cleaning and all that. To this end, the wife and went through the house and tossed anything we could and gathered up everything else for Goodwill.

Just came back right now from donating a box of stuff.

Also made my very last batch of chili this past week and froze them for summer.

On a related note, my dating entries, particularly these entries about how to write a good dating profile for men and women are my top read posts around this time.

Again, I’ve got to think it’s related to that whole reassessing and realigning that this season comes with.

Ah, spring – I’m sure gonna miss you when you’re gone.

Location: at the end of spring
Mood: rested
Music: got my ticket for the long way ’round The one with the prettiest of views
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Laraha, Valencia, Curaçao, and Superman

Nurture versus Nature or Superman the Shoe Salesman

Nighttime Shot of Malaga Spain
After the Boston bombings, there were a number of people I knew that immediately spouted their conspiracy theories. And several of them argued that Americans somehow brought this upon themselves.

Of course, they are Americans but hold themselves separate and superior from the rest of us. Which is odd because several of them stopped formal education at high school.

The most recent events in London made me think of the whole nature versus nurture argument.

And oranges.

And Superman.

Because there’s this orange from Spain called the Valencia orange that’s supposed to amazingly delicious and sweet. They were hybridized in America from orange trees in Valencia, which in turn came from India.
Valencia Orange, picture from Wikipedia

Those same trees were planted on the island of Curaçao, where the soil there caused these delicious, sweet, bright orange, oranges to transform – on their own – into small, bitter, green, “oranges.” They turned into the Laraha fruit.

These fruit are so bitter that it’s said that goats on the island would rather starve to death than eat them.

Let me stop for a second and paraphrase a joke that I heard once, which says that: If Krypton never exploded and Kal-El/Superman stayed on the planet, what if he became a shoe salesman?

After all, he’s only Superman because he came here; home he would have been Al Bundy.

As the son of recent immigrants, I wonder about my possible pasts: what if we never came here from Taiwan? Who would I be, what would I be? It’s pure dumb luck, my lot in this world.

Turning back to the recent events of England, it was odd hearing the attackers speak clear British English. Is there some inherent glitch in people like this or is a unique combination of nature and nurture. I’m guessing that’s the case.

Wonder what these people’s  lives would had been had they not gone to the UK. And what then?

I’ve no answer.

Suppose not everything that heads off to distant lands become better with time, like rum.

Location: heading to the gym
Mood: muggy
Music: Who killed tangerine? The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are

We reveal a lot more of ourselves than we realize

Got injured in my ribs about two weeks ago so I’ve not been wrassln for a bit. Went back for the first time on Monday and it seemed fine. When class is over, we all stand in line to be dismissed.

While standing there, I realized I couldn’t breathe right as I couldn’t get my diaphragm to move. Things started to get get wonky and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.

Ended up being fine but the funny thing is that as it was happening, the first thing I thought was, “If you end up in the hospital again, the wife is totally not gonna let you wrassle or fence any more. Don’t hit your head going down!”

Being married really changes how you look at the world.

———-

Regarding my post from last week about mixed-race couples, someone I only kinda know on FB contacted me. We ended up chatting about China in general:

Him: Have you even been to China before?
Me: Actually yes, several times, in fact.
Him: As a tourist I bet.
Me: Nope, I was there on business.
Him: I bet you just saw all the tourist sites and had pictures of yourself eating dumplings.
Me: Neither, I didn’t have time to see anything, I was pressed for deadlines the entire time. And I don’t think I had any dumplings while I was there; in fact, I don’t even think I have pictures. And why pick on dumplings? What they’d ever do to you?

He finally ended up saying that, because I had a Caucasian wife and that must mean I don’t find Asian women attractive.

Him: It points to a lot of self-hatred.
Me: That’s a pretty big leap. OK, do you think Brad Pitt’s a good looking guy?
Him: (pause) I guess so.
Me: I do too. But if he asked you out right now, what would you say?
Him: I’m not gay .
Me: Nor am I. But, what you’re saying is that you find him attractive, just not in that way. You have preferences.
Him: It’s not the same thing!
Me: Why? Are you saying one’s natural and one’s unnatural? We all like what we like. Attraction is not a choice.

That’s when I realized it was all a waste of my time.

This woman named Anais Nin once said that, We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Her: He thinks you hate being Chinese? You love being Chinese!
Me: I know! We’re lovely and have the best dumplings.
Her: Well, those are just Chinese ravioli.

Location: not the gym
Mood: hungry
Music: sailed to Hong Kong harbour, the winds were warmer then
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

My Personal List of Travel Tips

This is a list of things I do when I travel

A buddy of mine is traveling abroad for the first time so I sent him the following based on my experiences traveling around the world. If you have some tips I should add to this, send them my way or leave a comment below!

Random tips

  • Pack light – this is primary. You don’t want to lug a ton of stuff around. It’s called “LUG-gage” cause you lug it around.
  • If traveling with someone, split up that luggage so that if one bag is lost, the other bag still has half the other person’s stuff.
  • On that note, put at least one full change of clothing in your carry-on bag, JIC they lose your luggage.
  • Take a photo of the outside of your hotel so you can show your taxi driver where to go. OR get a stack of business cards from the hotel when you arrive and just hand them to the taxi driver when you need to get back.
  • Download or carry around a city and/or subway map.
  • Instead of changing money, if you are going to a place with a good banking system, just take money out to an ATM machine.
  • If you’re going to go out at night to party, leave your hotel keys with the front desk of the hotel and most of your credit cards and valuables locked up in your room.
  • If you’re going to a particularly bad place, register with the State Department that you’re going there so they know you’re in country.

Clothing

  • If you can afford it, consider getting some merino wool clothing – socks, tee-shirts, etc. They are naturally anti-microbial (meaning you could get away with washing them less), last forever, and regulates internal core-body temperatures – not just for cold weather.
  • Bring some old clothes that you don’t care that much about. This way you can toss or donate them if they get damaged or if you end up buying new clothes for the trip home.

Stuff to Bring

  • Money belt – it’s old school stuff, but lemme tell you, it works. They’re cheap and you can keep most of your scratch close to your body.
  • Regular crazy glue – for reasons I can’t get into now, I often end up with some pretty deep cuts so I would just bring crazy glue to seal it shut without stitches. This was a while ago so you should check to see if airplanes will still allow you to bring it onboard.
  • Velcro wallet. Fill this with expired cards and few bucks. If you do get mugged, you can give them this.
  • Anti-bacterial wipes
  • A good book – try mine (shameless plug, I know).


Stuff to Prep

  • If you’re going to one place, obviously you should get a guidebook. The wife and I like Lonely Planet and Rough Guides when we were younger but that has changed to things like Frommers once we got older. BUT if you’re going to multiple places, a better bet would be to stop off at the library and take a few dozen books, photocopy the places that interest you, and bring a small binder along.
  • Speaking of photocopying, photocopy the following and keep it in a completely separate place where you keep the actual items: passport, all tickets & reservations, driver’s license (actually, all IDs: hostel card, etc), and itinerary.
  • When I was in Paris, I actually downloaded and did a self-guided walking tour by Rick Steves; if you’re like me and can’t stand people, it’s a good way to go. Especially if you’re traveling alone. Get them here.
  • Get the phone number, address AND a PICTURE of the US Embassy/Consulate of city you’re staying – take pics from Google.
  • If you have a smart phone, download and install the free TripIt App to organize your trip.

Food and drink

  • Bring nuts, packaged granola bars. You need to have food your body is used to having.
  • As a rule of thumb, when you’re local and see food you want to eat, if it’s been boiled or deep fried you should be ok with most things. If it’s cold, proceed with caution.
  • If you’re going to place where bottled water is a must and have a bottle with you on the trip there, ask the airline to fill it for you before you land.
  • In some places – especially tropical places – be mindful of raw fruits and vegetables. If you peel the fruit yourself, you’re probably good to go.
  • Bring whatever stomach stuff (gas, diarrhea meds) you know work for you here. JIC.
  • For drinks, bottled/canned stuff is ok, but in some places, check the seals.
  • Bring iodine tablets if you’re really roughing it and might have to have water you’re not sure about.
  • When in doubt, follow the American Forefathers and drink beer. NOT rum (as delicious as it is) since hard alcohol won’t quench your thirst.
  • The above is especially true if you might get ice in it. If you order soda, you run the risk of them putting ice in your drink but not with beer. Beer: The smart traveler’s companion.

Here’s some of my travelogues:

Finally, I’m taking a cue from the very cool Speaking of China – who was kind enough to mention me the other day – and asking your opinion: What do you do when you travel?

Location: back from the gym
Mood: woozy
Music: here’s nothing else in our lives so critical, As this little home
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Asian Males and White Females

I dunno, it’s just something I do

 

There’s this sword movement done where a block is performed with the spine of the blade and the sword then rolls into a slash. It’s really cool looking and possibly one of the most beautiful sword movements that exists.

I noticed it years ago with another fencer and asked him what it was. He looked at me, puzzled. And said, I dunno, it’s just something I do. For him, it was nothing special, just part of his makeup.

I’ve alluded to this in the past, such as when people are extraordinarily proud to be Irish, or Chinese, or what have you. For most of us, myself included, being Chinese is simply something I am.

Having said this, since my wife and I got married, we do notice that there are few couples like us: Asian male and White female (AMWF). In fact when we’re out and about, we invariably remark to each other when we notice another couple like us.

I bring all of this up because I was in court yesterday kiling time and I came across this blog entry called Why Aren’t We Talking More About The Rarity of AMWF? – and it really made me think.

While it should be noted that the writer is a Caucasian writer living in China (very cool), it’s just as true here in the States, I think.

Regarding my own experiences, there are many friends I have now that I’ve only recently met. And the funny thing is that the version of me they know is not the version I actually think I am in my head.

In college, I dated a Korean girl for years. In law school, it was a Chinese med student. Then I dated a hapa. Then I just dated.

There’s a running joke with some of my friends from 2008 onward that I only dated Caucasians. Which my older friends would find funny because they thought I only dated Asians.

And yet neither is true. I dated whomever I liked.

This version of me is only the part they know. Had an argument with a dolt I met online via FB who immediately labeled me as a self-hating Chinese man, which only made me roll my eyes and move on with my life.

After all, I’m not another person’s opinion of what I am. I am, simply, what I am.

Getting back to the  questions posed: Why are there so few Asian male, Caucasian female combinations?

I’m not sure.

Out and about, I was frequently the first and only Asian person many non-Asians dated. There were two common things they said. Either:

Regarding point one, a good deal of that has to do with exposure IMHO. If they don’t know any Asian men well, there’s no one to whom to be attracted.

As for point two, many of my male friends are:

  1. more strongly attracted to Asian females,
  2. more comfortable dating Asian female, or
  3. assuming that point one above is definitive – Non-Asian women are not attracted to Asian men.

I’ve never found number 3 to be true but this is just anecdotal to me and all of this is just my opinion.

I’m not really sure why I didn’t really think about it all that much while I was dating, mainly because – for me – it’s just something I did.

What do you think?

A Great Online Dating ProfileIf you liked this entry, I recently wrote an April 2014 book on how to write  A Great Online Dating Profile with 30 tips to get noticed and get more responses – it’s just $0.99 at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store, as well as most other online retailers:

I also wrote a book about first dates with information I just haven’t seen in other books that I learned from three solid years of dating in NYC.

A Great First Date, early 2014It’s just $2.99 at at Amazon, BN.com, and the Apple Store.

 

Location: not in court
Mood: analytical
Music: Paris to China to Colorado
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Vlog: Where I tell two stories about pizza

A Homemade Pizza and a Spinach Pizza

No time to do a proper entry so I just posted a video above.

Below is a pizza from my pop to my mom on Mother’s Day. Clearly, I am this man’s son.

Let me know if you think I should vlog more, I know i have the energy for it, I’ve always been interested in making money on youtube.

In other news, I’m going to be posting at around 3PM Mondays and Wednesdays for a bit. New work schedule coming up.

 

Location: Courtroom
Mood: amused
Music: Tom, your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Categories
personal

Everybody knows, but no one really believes it

Look for the red things

Me: The thing is, there’s a difference between seeing and noticing. Noticing is when you consciously become aware of something. For example, if I said right now, Look for everything that’s red. You’d see a lot more red things.
Him: (looking around) Great, now all I see are the red things.
Me: (laughing) That’s what happens. You can’t un-notice something you’ve noticed. It’s called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.

Updating this blog a bit late because I’ve been trying to finish up a few assignments for clients.

Been watching the news about the three women they found; obviously it reminds me of the Jaycee Dugard story. Just like with her, compounding the basic horror of it all is also the fact that they were cheated out of those years.

Life is so short as it is.

I blinked and I’m 40.

Spalding Gray once said that Everybody knows they are going to die, but no one really believes it. Late at night, when I can’t sleep, I realize what it means and it keeps me up the rest of the night. Like last night.

Doubt you ever noticed, but for the past few years every time I write about dying, I put up a picture of a clock.

As I get older, I see notice more clocks and think about how short it all is.

And you can’t un-notice something you’ve noticed.

 

Location: in the basement of my brain again
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I don’t mind waiting in line
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta