On (or Close to) Schedule
Argh! Camera Obscura is playing live and free tonight at the South Street Seaport at 8PM.
Was planning to stay in tonight for the first time in months just to prep for the exam but these guys are so awesome.
Should I go? Man, I’m so torn…
Location: about to run out the door
Mood: confused
Music: I’ve got my life of complication here to sort out
Her: You’re awfully self-involved.
Me: It says right there, “logan lo dot com”
Her: Still…
———-
I like you.
The fact you’re reading me makes me like you. That says something about me, I know.
In fact, not only do I know that is says something about me, I know what it says. But that’s neither here nor there.
Let’s play a game, shall we? I play it all the time when I’m out and about. It’s not mine, someone once told it to me. Anyway, I feel we should, cause I like you more than all the people I meet when I’m…doing what I do.
Keep it to yourself, send it to me, tell your mom, it doesn’t matter.
We’ll talk about it Monday, yeah?
As always, I’m off to bed to lie awake for a while.
Location: upstairs, studying
Mood: tired
Music: home, only just a few miles down the road I can make it, I know I can
You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light.
My friend Jaerik made an interesting observation on my blog that I don’t think I’ve ever noticed myself.
He said that I rarely do angry blog entries. Never thought of that.
I think people do angry on the internet because it’s easy and makes for pseudo-intellect. Sure there’s lots to be pissed about; life is inherently unfair.
But man, that’s the quickest way to a bitter, solitary life.
This blog is mostly about my love life because, well, I got nuthin else to complain about.
Not really.
I got my pad. I got my people. I got my poison. I just picked up a new whip to replace my old ride. Another 300 payments and it’s all mine.
Figure someday I’ll get the girl too. Someday.
For now, I’ll take the fall weather we’re having in summer here in NYC.
Speaking of which, I met this girl at Bryant Park tonight…
Location: in front of a pile of books again
Mood: content
Music: God gave me everything
Summer’s not my season. Bad, bad, bad things happen to me in summer.
Fall, however, is my season. I woke up all week thinking its fall.
Woke up happy all week.
———-
Been hanging with these guys Paul and Sheridan a lot lately. Recently, Paul and I were at party with an old friend/legal client of mine and a group of us got talking.
Girl1: What do you mean?
Me: There’s no such thing as a line. Look, if you’re attracted to me, I could walk up to you, say anything, anything, and you’d respond positively. In college, my friend Crawford would walk up to a girl, go Whoo-Hooo! and ten minutes later they’re making out.
Girl2: I disagree, what a guy says matters.
Me: To an extent, yes. But I think it’s less about the content and more the conveyance. Say a cute chick walked up to me and started talking to me in French with a wink’n smile; the content, which I wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t matter to me. I’d just be thinking, Hey…
Girl1: That’s cause you’re a guy.
Me: No. (sighing) It’s cause I know. When you like someone, they can do no wrong; when you don’t, they can do no right.
Starting tagging things not a pickup line just so you can see what I mean.
Location: in front of a bunch of computer parts in Queens
Mood: busy
Music: the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Why, Electronic Gods? What have I done to anger you so?
Truth be told, one of the people I randomly ran into on Saturday wasn’t all that coincidental.
Me: BTW, my mobile is 212.479.7990 should you want to randomly run into me tonight downtown around 11PM at 9th and second in a bar called Solas (not the number I actually gave her).
Her: You’re cute…if I want to randomly run into you at Solas! Well you never know…
Me: I’ll let you buy me a drink.
Her: (laughing) Funny
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: We’ll see.
Fair enough…
Location: 5PM yest, in Flushing asking for extra sauce
Mood: see music
Music: I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad
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A buddy had a going away party on Saturday at one of my favorite joints, Solas and different people from different circles of my life met up there.
We ran into others like Candyfiend – whom I also bumped into last week midtown, an actor from 72nd to Canal, and a Texan and her friend (like the hat?) I met at a party a week ago. Sometimes NYC’s a small town.
Lots of memories there. Before my time it was called Café Tabac and Madonna worked there. You know, I met Somena there, was there for dozens of parties, was slapped there and last saw Blue-Jean Eyes there.
Had my 30th birthday party at Solas too.
The coolest thing about Saturday night was that there were at least 10 people there for my buddy’s thing that were at my 30th as well.
Friends come and go. Some stay with you physically; some stay with you mentally. Some do both.
Have a safe trip, buddy.
Location: 7:15PM yest, saying hello at church
Mood: psyched!
Music: On my way to see my friends who live a couple blocks away
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Him: You ok?
Me: Just thinking ’bout last summer.
Him: What about?
Me: (laughing) I feel free again.
Him: (disgusted) Don’t get all emo on me, dude.
It’s been exactly a year since I’ve started blogging. Had a different blog for a few weeks before I turned to this one.
Started it all because I was bleeding so much electronic ink anyway back then. Somehow, it’s morphed into what you see now.
Been in a good mood lately because I’ve had some time to reflect on the year. I wonder what my life would have been like if the ex and I stayed together – I think we’d have bits of happy with shades of miserable.
If we stayed together, though:
Mostly though, I wouldn’t have this blog. You wouldn’t be reading me; I wouldn’t be writing this.
There’d be no you and me.
Funny thing is: I intended to only write this for a year, at most. Figured I’d run outta things to say to the three people that read me if I posted, say, every two days or so.
Now, I look forward to these daily conversations with you. Like I said, 8.2 million people but few connections.
Check it out: just for now, we’ve traveled through time (I wrote this before you read it) and space (I’m here, you’re there) and we’re connected. Writing is more than just words strung together – writing is telepathy.
You may think I’m vain, a womanizer, a hypocrite, awesome, humble, self-involved, brilliant, stupid, what-have-you,
The very last thing said at the end of this 80s flick called Heaven Help Us is by Ed Rooney. After everything, he’s a shampoo boy at a Bensonhurst hair salon, where the hours suck, the pay sucks, and I’m surrounded by ‘funny guys’, but the tips are great! Thank you, God!
It’s sucked a lot from there to here but I don’t think it could have played out any differently, or better, really.
One last movie quote. In You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen writes to Joe:
I’m not on the other side yet, but I think I’m on my way.
Without getting too emo, thank you, very much, for reading me.
I’ll keep writing…
Thank you, God.
Location: here, telling you something important to me
Mood: grateful
Music: I’ll be back in the high life again
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Dickens actually wrote two endings for the book – in the published version, you don’t know what happens to the two of them.
In the original, Dickens had Pip realize that he loved the girl that was cruel. And that girl was gone. The good girl left behind, wasn’t the one he loved.
I can relate. Think all the women I’ve ever had a thing for was some version of Estella. Interesting, eh?
I would love to meet a girl with that name. There was this Korean girl Stella whom I had a crush on. When we got our yearbooks, she wrote, You should have asked me out, I woulda said yes.
Argh! It’s why I don’t tell people things like that.
Other names I like:
Once dated a girl who was Frau Zuzanne D’Longe – that was just hot.
Just walked in from a date.
Keep wondering if it’s better to have expectations or to have none.
Location: -30 mins telling her, I’m going in again
Mood: sotted
Music: I’d just like to know do you love him or just making time
A Black Swan is an unforeseen event that makes a huge historical impact. The assassination of Franz Ferdinand, 9/11, and the rise of dot coms are considered Black Swans.
But we all have our own personal Black Swans, yeah? Those events that changed everything about our lives completely unexpectedly?
The ex moved out a year ago this week.
I recorded the above video for my brother after I got back from Baltimore and saw that she, and all her stuff, was gone (nothing risqué; trust me, totally SFW).
I used the spatula to make myself a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich. I sat in my empty living room and thought, Well, this is gonna suck. And it did. Really bad.
But it doesn’t anymore. When I do think of a girl, she’s not the one I think of. I never would have believed it.
Time and tide changes everything.
Note to self: If you ever live with a chick again, do not throw out your utensils just because hers matches.
Life is good.
Location: -20 mins, on Broadway, picking grapefruit
Mood: grateful
Music: My heart was broke, my head was sore, what a feeling
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Spoke to an ex a few times in this month. Probably not a good idea.
Speaking of exes, I met a designer who asked me what happened with my last serious girl. I don’t know why I told her because I don’t think I told anyone really, including you, did I? No great drama, really. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Me: One random day, I picked up tickets to a show and got reservations at her favorite Japanese restaurant as a surprise. She said she couldn’t make it that night because she was tired. So I tried to get her come out without ruining it and she hung up on me.
Her: That’s it? That’s crazy! You never told her?
Me: (shrugging) I tried but it’s hard talking to a dial tone.
Her: What? You couldn’t leave a message?
Me: I could have. But I felt that she should have been on my side, yeah?
Her: That’s your pride talking. I dunno who’s more f____ up, you or her.
Me: I’d put money on me. (laughing) But hey, we’re in New York, the night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks. Does anything else really matter right now?
Her: (shakes head, grins)
It’s been a while since I’ve thought of either ex.
Dunno if it’s church, chicks, the checks or the rum, but I’ve been oddly content.
That’s not true – I know why. I’ll tell you soon.
Promise.
Location: 5:45PM yest, alone in a church
Mood: excited
Music: Sunlight On my face I wake up and yeah I’m alive
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