Tag: friends

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personal

It’s only Wednesday but it’s been a good week so far

Her: I’ve changed a lot as I’ve gotten older. Before, I used to procrastinate all the time, now I just want unpleasant things over with as soon as possible.
Me: (laughing) Like marrying me?
Her: Well, that goes without saying.

Was supposed to go to Washington DC again this morning but the trip was cancelled last minute. Just as well, got slammed with more work.

Did have some downtime earlier on in the week so I caught up with Skinny, who just got back from Japan after all these years, PB, and Cain. Was supposed to be a quick get together but, as these things go, turned into a four-pitcher-of-beer night.

No rum just because I’m trying to switch it up, but that’s another story.

The very next day, met up with Johnny who didn’t punch me this time. He was in town to close a major deal in midtown and wanted to take me out for lunch; he showed up in a tee shirt, shorts, and flip-flops.

Me: You’re dressed like a kid!
Him: (shrugging) I’m the boss so I can dress how I want. Also, I’m a kid at heart, Logan.

Ended up a Japanese joint that made fresh soba noodles. When I got back to my desk, found out a client finally sent in a check.

It’s only Wednesday but it’s been pretty good so far.

The fact it’s not 108 degrees in the shade helps, also.

Location: getting ready to get to the bank
Mood: upbeat
Music: take advantage of tonight, cause tomorrow I’m off to do battle
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personal

Dealing with it: Good souls and IM

View of the Paramount building in NYC

Her: We have the strangest luck.
Him: We’re darned.
Her: That’s exactly it!

Yesterday, wake up to several angry emails.

Run out the door, miss every green light and train.

Arrive late to the office and try to explain to a client that the reason why his doc’s late is cause I asked him for information on 5/24, 5/25, and 5/27 and he only sent me the info yesterday at 10:36AM. He hangs up on me.

Woulda thrown my phone against the wall had I not just bought it.

Have another client tell me I’m wrong about something when I’m not. (Which begs the question: Why hire someone to tell you answers if y’already have all the answers?)

Show up late to fencing class where I get repeatedly stabbed.

Instructor: What’s going on with you tonight?
Me: Sorry, my head was elsewhere.
Him: (stabs me again)

Finally, arrive home where I get some horrible news – the kind where you have to steady yourself by the nightstand and then go to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face.

Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday. Right now, trying to sort it all out.

But then I climb into bed with my tablet and a random message pops up from a guy I’ve not spoken to in maybe a decade:

logan lo! sup dude…long time no see…wanted to say hi and that i liked ur book….very original…very entertaining….great job and congrats!

When I read that, realize that I’d been clutching a fist the whole time. Take a deep breath and relax my hand to type out a response.

It reminded me of that last time I had a heartbreaking day and a random old friend dropped me a line.

Thank goodness for the good souls, random acts of kindness, and instant messaging.

Dude – I’ve had one of the worst days of my life today. That’s the best thing I heard all day – thanks!

Location: my apartment, dealing with it
Mood: crushed
Music: When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, I’ll fly away
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personal

Hills from which we look and caves in which we hide

A shrub in Times Square, NYC

Him: I remember your ex. She was a ______.
Me: I don’t think so. No 30 year old woman in a happy relationship looks to cheat. I wasn’t very nice to her.
Him: I knew you back then, you weren’t that bad.
Me: We all have our three lives: public, private, and secret.

Spent the holiday weekend working for the most part. One major downside for essentially working for yourself is that the work never really stops.

Every free moment you have, you’re thinking, I should be doing something.

We did find time to catch up with season 6 of Dexter, which reminded me of my three lives. Recently met a woman who said that she had no regrets in life cause, “To regret would mean I’m not proud of something in my life.”

Thought that was one of those things that have the air of truth but no real truth to it.

I’m not saying you should live your life fulla regrets crying over your possible pasts. Then again, a life of no regrets means that you’ve not done any growth at all.

Show me a guy that’d make the exact same choices at 39 he’d make at 19, and I’ll show you a guy that’s wasted 20 years of his life.

Onea the friends I cut, thinks that I cut him cause of some fights we had. That’s partly true. The main reason he got cut, however, is cause he finds it noble that he hasn’t “sold out” – whatever that means.

Suppose that means that he wants to remain the same while the world around him changes.

F Scott Fitzgerald once said that: At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45 they are caves in which we hide.

In reality, he’s less an artist and more just some dude living in a cave.

As for me, thought about writing my ex an email saying I’m sorry. I didn’t do any one majorly bad thing to her – it was more a series of thoughtless actions and stupid arguments over nuthin.

In the end, decided against writing. Instead, I’ll add that to my list of ten thousand regrets. Some things are better left hidden deep in caves.

Got other secrets too. But these aren’t bad ones.

I’ll tell you about them someday.

Location: on my stoop, telling workmen to keep it down
Mood: regretful
Music: Days seem to last forever but the weeks fly by
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personal

You either just do it or you don’t

Me: I’m sorry I’m late.
Him: It’s fine. I’m just glad you came.

Yesterday was a strange and sad day.

Part of my job’s to do site inspections around the state for things.

Yesterday, was in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn checking out a building when the property contact and I went to the roof. There, at 12:30 in the afternoon, a bunch of people were drinking and smoking.

Thought for sure a fight was gonna break out.

Ended up being lotsa talk and stare-downs and me wondering in the background why every guy in the world thinks he’s Pacino or DeNiro, ready to die like a hero.

If you can actually fight, you don’t talk about the stuff you’re gonna do. You either just do it or you don’t. Luckily the property contact was an adult and just called up for some help.

Afterward, rushed home to change into a suit to go downtown.

Said it once before: The sweetest words in the English language’re I’m on my way.

My buddy’s mom passed away. Made it down to the funeral home just at the very end.

My wrasslin coach and other fellas from the gym showed up before me to pay their respects too.

The older you get, the more funerals you go to. It’s a crap milestone but one we all reach.

There’s really not much you can say at them. It’s not the words that matter any way. As sweet as the words I’m on my way are, the most important thing’s the being there.

In the end, you don’t talk about being there, you’re just either there or you’re not. You either just do it or you don’t.

It’s so true: A man’s dying is more the survivors’ affair than his own.

When we take the blows life gives us, if we’re lucky, good souls‘ll be there – not to take the blows for us, but to pick us up, bloodied and battered, afterward.

Him: The other guys showed up in suits. Suits! Can you believe it? They musta brought them to the gym and came here afterward.
Me: (laughing) I can’t picture it.

Location: home, for now
Mood: pensive
Music: Sometimes I get to feelin’ I was back in the old days
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personal

Bearing it

Took the bike from my pad on the UWS to my gym on 27th street twice over the weekend.

The first time I did it, it was harrowing. Then on the way back, it was a little less so. And even less the next day.

There’s this saying that I’m sure I’m going to mangle but it goes something like this: There is no situation that you cannot bear if you see those around you bearing it.

When you read things that people have done – trench warfare, the D-day invasion, Thermopoylae – it does seem to explain a lot.

After a couplea large buses whizzed past me, was thinking: What the hell am I doing? Until this little old lady puttered past me.

Laughed at myself as she went by.

Course, there’re times when there’s no laughter and all the bravery you can muster isn’t enough cause it’s something that truly puts you on your knees.

A buddy has a sick family member who’s not going to get better. These are hard words to hear and, obviously, much harder to say.

And there’s never really much to say to someone that tells you such things, just a lotta goddamn nodding. Wish I could offer him more than my condolences and a pat on the back.

In my head, though, I know he’s tough. I know that he’ll overcome the blow even if he doesn’t know it himself. And I wish them all peace.

Later that weekend, I sit in the back of my church and think about all those how and whys.

And then I come home and make some calls for no particular reason.

Him: Hey! How are you?
Me: I’m good, dad. Just thought I’d call. Oh, I bought a bike…

Location: a magical place called Staten Island
Mood: busy
Music: got to push on through but while I’m gone
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personal

Losing half of your friends

The past few days have been amazing.

Her: We’re never taking that red envelope down!
Me: Never.

———-

Met up with Paul and Hazel in the hood for some drinks the other night.

Paul I met through a class I took with my ex while Hazel’s the sister of a really good college buddy.

The funny thing about life’s that you never know who’s gonna end up in your Venn Diagram and who’s not. If I want you to believe anything I’ve learned, it’s that.

Recently sent an FB invitation to one of my closest friends from college and just realized last night that he never got back to me after about a month.

That’s the thing that you don’t realize as a kid. Remember my dad had this awful fight about one of my friends when I was a kid. Now the friend, I don’t remember very well, but the fight I remember. These people we think of as all-so-important end up just a footnote in your life – or your tiny little blog.

Once wrote about that statistic where, every seven years, you lose more than halfa your friends. The person y’think of as your best friend only has a 30% chance of staying in that role.

Wonder how things like the Internet and FB changes that dynamic.

As for the friend that never responded, that’s just how things go. We’ve all been on both sides of those choices.

Speaking of technology, swapped an older toy for a newer one.

This is probably the tech equivalent of getting a Ferrari as a mid-life crisis. Only far dorkier.

Location: getting ready to brave Trader Joe’s
Mood: busy
Music: It’s all the same, only the names will change
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business

No sleep till the job’s done

Me: (to waitress) I’ll have a acai caipirinha.
Nadi: (to waitress) Put an umbrella in it?
Me: Please don’t.
Her: Logan, it’s a purple drink.

Been crazy busy lately. Did manage to find time to meet up with my old co-workers again this past Monday, which is always fun.

Last night, gave another lecture on the law. Despite my being pretty much exhausted, thought it went pretty well. That is until the wife started cracking up at home.

Her: You know that Beastie Boy reference you made?
Me: Yeah?
Her: You called MCA, AMC.
Me: Oh for pete’s sake…

That’s onea the dangers of doing all that I do with as little sleep as I usually get. That lecture’s gonna be up for a long time and I’ll forever be that guy that made a Beastie Boy reference and then got the name wrong.

Ended up at the Harvard Club in midtown where the other speaker bought me a drink. Didn’t have any good rums on deck so I had a Macall ofn on the rocks. Was good but nuthin beats my rum – with or without an umbrella.

Got home to some really terrific news but that’s a post for another time.

As for now, no sleep till Brooklyn the job’s done.

Location: getting dressed for work
Mood: exanimate
Music: born and bred in Brooklyn, the USA. They call me Adam Yauch, but I’m MCA.
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personal

Burn all them bridges down, to the ground, cause I won’t be coming this way again

UWS NYC

Him: So – y’think you’re back on your feet finally?
Me: (thinking) Yeah. I do.
Him: Good. (raises a weapon) Let’s go.
Me: (laughing and raising my sword) En garde.

Been spending my days with my nose to the grind and working like mad. Spending nights with my favourite person.

An old friend of mine crossed my mind today. We had some good times but he ended up being a different person; I’m sure he thinks the same of me. But in the end – like so many others – that relationship wasn’t worth the time and effort.

Thought about all of people that have come in and out of Venn Diagram. The people and relationships I cut, the boats and bridges I’ve burned.

They say never burn any bridges, but I say sometimes you gotta burn all them bridges down, to the ground, cause you won’t be coming this way again.

And the bridges and people I got left earned their spot in my life as I hope I’ve in theirs.

Got my pad, my people, my poison, and my person. I’m sickeningly content.

And boy, have I got stories to tell you. I’ll tell you one Wednesday tomorrow.

Me: I’m good at convincing people to do things they wouldn’t want to do normally.
Her: Well, you convinced me to marry you.

Location: AC Hotel lobby in Malaga, Spain
Mood: thoughtful
Music: I’ve got friends and they’ve got my back
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business

Thanks for downloading 1,636 copies of my book!

Bicycle in NYC

So I’ve just finished my first marketing campaign for my book and here’s what I’ve accomplished in 48 hours:

  • Amazon.com downloads: 1,567
  • Amazon.co.uk downloads: 40
  • Amazon.de downloads: 29
  • Amazon.fr downloads: 0

All-in-all, expected a total of 500-800 downloads and this totally blew away my estimates. And here’s what I’ve learned:

The French dislike my work
This is disappointing because I feel I support the French: I eat their fries and their bread, utilize a French press with regularity and support the French little coffee place down my street, and enjoy Pepe le Peu. How’s about some reciprocity?!

Social marketing really works
Put up some ads here and there which got me about 300 downloads – about what I guessed – however, people mentioning me on their FB page or via email forwards garnered me the vast majority of the downloads and this was completely unexpected.

Stuff y’put out online is powerful and stays forever. Note to self: redact mention of womanizing and rum intake in this blog.

Discovered I know five distinct groups of people

  • One group, without my asking, put up postings on FB and elsewhere; they took my undertaking and made it their own.
  • Another group, when asked, immediately started telling others.
  • A third group, when asked, declined.
  • A fourth group, when asked, completely ignored me.
  • A fifth group, was never asked and also never said a thing.

I’ve got to say that this was all a bit surprising. Some people I was sure would help did not and some people whom I never even thought to ask took it upon themselves to help. Eye-opening.

And speaking of reciprocity, two of the people that completely ignored me, I go out of my way to help all the time. Also eye-opening.

Again, think it’s that divergence of our very basic definitions of friendship.

It’s actually given me some clarity on things, so, while it was disappointing, it’s still beneficial cause it’s helped me figure out what to do with my time. And we all know Bicycle in NYC

Location: the basement of my brain, thinking of a sequel
Mood: grateful
Music: It’s not so bad And I want to thank you
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personal

We make our own luck in this world

Drinks in Times Square, NYC

Me: Y’know, in a decade, we loook pretty close to what we looked like back then. You look great!
Her: Oh thanks, you too.
Me: Well, I always look good.
Her: That’s…hey!

Met up with Hazel for some drinks the other night. She’s come around to my way of thinking that meeting your person deserves as much thought as getting a good job or going back to school for your career.

Me: Imagine if I said, “I’ve decided that I’m just going to leave getting a job to chance. It’ll happen when it happens. Until then, I’m going to sit at home every day and night and I believe that a high-paying, awesome job will call me and want just the way I am.” What would you say about my career plans?
Her: That that’s not a good idea.
Me: Right. But I can’t tell you how many times I have people say to me, “I’m just going to meet the right person. It’ll happen when it happens.” The right person’s a big deal – too big to leave up to chance. You make your own luck in this world.

———-

This recent study has a new take on why exercise is so good for us. Apparently, it makes our very healthy cells eat the weaker cells in our bodies as a kinda natural recycling.

Goes to show two things: (1) why exercise really is the fountain of youth and (2) that I can find a way to eat regardless of where I am and what I’m doing:

Me: We vacation well together – we can hang out or get our own alone time.
Wife: Yes, like I go to the spa, you go eat, I go to the beach, you go eat, I go to the cafe, you go eat, I go to…
Me: I would say something but that’s pretty accurate.

Location: getting dressed to meet a client
Mood: contented
Music: on the other side I’ve got friends and they’ve got my back
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