From my sis regarding my mom. Except for the Vietnamese and the fact nonea us were ever the valedictorian, it’s pretty accurate.
Find it oddly touching for reasons I can’t fully explain. Says Happy Mother’s Day better than anything I could write so let’s just leave it at that.
Stayed over at my parents and then had brunch over at my old college buddy’s place downtown over the weekend. A report came out that said that the key to happiness is human relations – you can watch it here.
A business blog I read’s named Signal Vs. Noise. The name comes from an engineering phrase that differentiates between the amount of useful information being transmitted versus that which’s just useless noise.
People around me’re always telling me stuff. I could be a great ______ if only I ______.
The assumption is, of course, that I dunno what I’m doing, which’s a bit insulting in and of itself. Actually do have a plan and, despite unexpected calamities, have managed to stick to that plan.
Y’know the difference between strategy and tactics? A strategy’s the big goal (Capture or kill Osama bin Laden); tactics are how you attain that goal (conventional warfare or propaganda). People confuse the two all of time, which’s fine, except when they try to push their inability to differentiate upon me.
My tactics shift constantly, as they should, but my strategy never changes.
There’s this section in Made to Stick where the author talks about the Tapper Game. It’s comprised of two players; one’s a tapper that taps out a song on a table, and the other’s a listener that tries to figure out the song. Participants thought they’d get about 50% right; the actual number was less than 2%.
Why?
Cause the tapper, the one tapping out the song, already knew the song in his head and could “hear” it. The one listening to only the tapping couldn’t.
That there’s, in my opinion, about 90% of what’s wrong with all human relationships. The stuff you hear in your head isn’t what the other guy hears. After a while, y’get tired of explaining stuff and either give up or continue to argue.
Am old enough to try and listen to other points of views and make my own decisions. But I’ve got a plan, a strategy, a song I hear in my own head. And I’ve got the results I wanted from these plans – my pad, my people, my poison, and my person. Which means that the song in my head is the right song for me.
And that’s the other thing, it’s my song.
It’s noise to you but signal to me.
Location: in front of my computer as always
Mood: irritated
Music: (the song in my head)
Her: Do you ever look or is it an unwritten rule that you don’t look? Me: We don’t look. Her: So you guys just stand there and do your business? Me: Yep. How is it you never talked to other boyfriends about this?
———-
Allow me one little rant.
Am finding on FB and other social sites that people – mostly white people not from NYC and not the least bit affected – keep tsk, tsk, tsk-ing some of our celebrating the death of a man that killed 3,000+ of our friends and family. Anyonea these people could have been me or my kid sister on a given day.
I’m not screaming for joy in the streets but won’t judge the ones that are cause I know nonea their stories.
Look, just cause you find something offensive doesn’t mean it is.
Your opinion as to how I should act means as much to me as your opinion as to what I should have for breakfast.
Won’t lie, am glad they finally killed Osama bin Laden.
Chuck Palahniuk, the fella that wrote Fight Club, once said that It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness.
Suppose that’s the purposea this here blog cause I bear the scars of all that hurt me but easily forget the things that comfort me. Like the chance to look back and remember the small good things as well. It’s odd to think of another man’s death as a good thing and yet, if this isn’t, what is? We all want justice for things, it is a human need.
That quote from William Gladstone, Justice delayed, is justice denied is a quote I kinda agree with but think it’s more that Justice delayed is peace delayed.
If nuthin else, there’s some peace here for some people. My favourite parta the president’s speech last night was when he said to the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 that we have never forgotten your loss.
Should the time come, and it will, that the question is asked whether or not there should be a national holiday for 9/11, hope we vote no. Don’t ever wanna open up the paper and see JC Penny’s offering underwear at 50% off on 9/11 Day. Let these people bear their scars quietly and in peace, says me.
———-
One final quote from my friend Lindsay N. by way of Lucy – Pakistan, you have some splainin to do.
Me: Do you have a charger? I need to charge my phone. Her: Just turn it off. Me: What if someone needs to calls me? Her: Who’s going to call you? Me: (turning off phone, muttering) Someone might call me…
Work’s slowed down a bit so been busy writing, taking classes, and wrestling. Regarding the writing, got a short story idea in my head. Regarding the classes, it’s just a lotta online classes they make you take to maintain your licenses. It’s a lotta classes. Regarding the wrestling, am still terrible, but just slightly less so. A buddy I’ve not seen in a while came up to roll on Easter Sunday; just found out he split with his girl. Sucks; it’s always the disappointment that gets you.
I try to take advantage of these lulls when they come but it’s a weird aspect of eating what you kill: when you’re busy, y’wish y’had downtime to do something besides work; when y’have downtime, y’worry about the lack of work.
Went out to see HG’s rents for Easter Dinner where I stuffed myself silly. Stopped by to see her grandparents. Realized that her grandma’s the only grandma I got now.
Took twice as long to get back as usual because of the rain and holiday traffic. There never are enough sunny days, yeah?
Decided to make some braised brisket in red wine the other night so I whipped out my old crock-pot. It’s been in my family since I can remember – maybe 25-30 years? My mom used to make this killer spaghetti sauce she learned from my Italian neighbor Dot. It’s also where she made chili from a Mexican neighbor and how I made a lotta my chili too.
When I moved outta my family home, my mom asked me what I wanted and I asked for that.
Her: This old thing? Why don’t you buy a new one? Me: Cause I want that one.
Anywho, put it on the counter top and noticed the back had cracked and a leg had fallen off. Managed to prop it up on a stacka bank checks to make the brisket but it was clear it was it’s last dish.
They’re cheap. Like $40 for a good one. And this one’s got flowers and lotsa stains on it; doesn’t match my clean white kitchen. But it was my bita home in my apartment and I’m sad to see it gone.
You don’t love a picture causesa the paper it’s printed on, y’love a picture because of what it represents.
Man, I loved that broken old thing.
Ha – suppose someone’ll say that about me some day. One would hope, anywho…
Joe: Did they hurt you in there, Mitchel? Mitchel: Not so you’d notice. Joe: They hurt me in there, Mitchel. Mitchel: I know they did, Joe. It’s all right now. Here. (gives him money) Joe: You don’t have to do that. Mitchel: Yes, I do. It’s a tax you pay for being alright.
But at some point in the future, there’ll be more really cool highs and some more awful lows. It’s all about waiting for the next high, I suppose.
I’ll take the awful lows, though – as best one can. And I’ll try to do my own little bit to contribute something to world. It’s all parta the same thing anyway.
Think the above quote’s spot on, paying back to the aether’s the tax you pay for being alright. Isn’t that what a tax is? It’s what you pay to be alright.
I’m alright right now, and feel the need to pay a little more this year. Duuno what that is but I’m looking.
How to remove hollow / transparent stars in iTunes
Actually have a slight bit of downtime this week so I’m spending it doing a buncha tasks I’ve been putting off, like clean up my amazingly chaotic music library.
One thing that was driving me crazy was removing all the transparent / hollow stars from my iTunes library. After some googling and tweaking, finally figured it out:
Select “Grid View” by pressing this button.
Press “Apple key ⌘ + A” to select all – CTRL+A if you’re using a PC
Right click and select “Album Rating > None”
You’re done. 5 seconds.
There’s never a time when you’re just done with stuff – everything is a constant maintenance issue. Just the way it is, I guess. Sometimes, feel like it’s like playing Whack-a-Mole where, once you solve one small issue, a new one pops up.
Off to wrestle…
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Me: You wanna…? Her: Sure. Me: (five minutes later) Actually, I feel like a fatty-fat-fat. Her: Yeah, I’m beat. (laughing) We are so married.
Friday night, came home to a Spanish Dinner that Heartgirl picked up; it’s good to mix it up some. We were getting a bit tired of the usual Chinese/Italian/American we’ve been eating for a while. Wish I had pix but we were so voraciously hungry that we just tore into it.
Menu: Pan Tomaca, Bravas, Empanadas Argentinas, Brochetas De Pollo, and Chorizo A La Parrilla.
Saturday, went out to Brooklyn for work in the AM. Coincidentally, an employee of the client was in the same train car as me all of way there but we both didn’t really recognize each other. When I walked into the client’s he started shouting and laughing, “Man, I knew I knew you!”
When I got back, HG and I walked over to the Whitney Museum across town to check out the Edward Hopper exhibit. Kinda underwhleming – they didn’t have Nighthawks and wouldn’t lemme take pics but they did have Sunday Morning. Afterward, went out for Japanese at our local sushi joint before staying in and watching The Next Three Days.
Menu: Ramen, Dragon Roll, California Roll, Chicken Teriyaki.
Sunday, was supposed to stay in but a buddy a mine had the building nexta his apartment catch on fire so at 9AM, I’m in a taxi to Times Square to check out the fire damage. It was pretty bad. Walking up 5th Avenue, the guy at the local halal cart recognized me at and asked me if I wanted some. Breakfasta champions.
Went downtown again Sunday to pick up a new camera; more on that some other time. Syd was so long ago.
Menu: Rice, meat, and grease.
Was a lot busier a weekend than I wanted it to be but still good. S’funny how stuffing our faces’s so basic and complex a parta our lives.
Me: Do we have any crazy glue? Her: I think so, why? Me: Sliced open my finger. Her: Do you need stitches?! Me: That’s what the crazy glue’s for.
My boss recently commented that, cause I don’t watch or play any sports, I’m missing something in the manhood realm. Thought that was pretty funny. Cause I got my own lista of what a man should know/be able to do and sports’s nowhere in it. Suppose we all do.
Here’s mine in no particular order – a man has to be able to:
Cook something.
At least one thing very well without consulting a recipe. For me it’s chili – it can be any type of food but you gotta know it well.
Can pretty much assure you, it’s the difference between a good night or a great night. Basic rule: if it adds nuthin to the story, leave it out. Eg, if you mention that he’s wearing a white paisley belt, it’d better be crucial to the story. You have to be funny and engaging enough so that a girlie touches you on your shoulder or arm three times in a row. BTW, if that happens, you must kiss her. Unless you’re married or otherwise involved, at which point you smile and politely leave.
Throw a punch and take a punch
I like the good old fashioned cross, but that’s just me. You gotta know how to throw it, pull it back, and throw it again. As for taking it, try not to do it often. Ducking’s a good secondary skill to possess. As a corollary, if you’re defending your pride and have a mortgage, a wife, or a kid, walk away. If you’re defending the cause of your mortgage, your wife, or your kid, keep moving forward.
Do 50 push-ups
If you can’t, you’re an old man. The thing is, most fellas don’t have to be old men for a while.
Know that what people think of him is none of his business
This is important. If you’re known as a guy that can be discreet, you will make more money and have more respect than the guy that can’t. Plain and simple.
Use the right tools for the job
Traditional: Hammer, screwdriver, wrench (monkey, adjustable, and combo), etc.
Modern: Google operators, Ping, POP/IMAP, etc.
Quote something that actually means something to him
Or didn’t, whatever, you’re a man, let it go. They were probably kids when they had you and had no idea what they were doing.
Extra credit if you realize you were no prize either.
Know when to use F__ and when not to use it
It’s like salt, a little goes a long way and too mucha it ruins a lotta hard work.
Give and take a compliment
For the former: The occasional and honest Nice XXX with a quick nod works wonders.
For the latter: Yeah? Thanks, is appropriate for just about everything.
Control the fear
It’s always there. If you’re not afraid, you’re nuts, stupid, or grossly underestimating the gravity of a given situation. Unclench your fists, breathe in deeply through your nose, out through the mouth – imagine you’re filling up your lungs from the bottom up, like a glass of water. Then think. Quickly.
Stop bleeding
Minor wounds – pressure, hydrogen peroxide, crazy glue or bandages with lotsa changes.
Major wounds – pressure, call a professional, more pressure
Also, studies have shown, saying positive things to a gravely injured person increases their chance of survival. No, don’t have a quote, wish I did.
There are more things one should know how to do but aren’t specific to men, maybe people in general. That’s for some other time.
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Location: surrounded by papers (they’re going to kill me)
Mood: good, except I need to fix my car, I’m DIY so The Car Starter is for me.
Music: sweet woman and my two grown up sons Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
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