Tag: nightlife

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personal

A fella like me

Thinking we’d have more time

Her: I never met a guy who wore a bright red leather jacket before.
Me: (shrugging) Makes sense. You never met a fella like me before.

My son’s been away for a little bit and I miss him terribly.

Still, it does give me a chance to be out and about, something I’ve not had the luxury to be for extended periods of time.

So, I take advantage of it while I can.

One rainy night after we finished rolling around in our gym class, my buddy Miller and I went to get some drinks.

Or, rather, I did, as he’s a teetotaler.

Bartender: You off the sauce tonight?
Him: I’m always off the sauce.

Miller brought me out for my birthday to a nice joint around the way from the gym.

Me: I’ll have the caprese, since I like the sandwich so much.
Him: (after drinks come, he laughs) Now that’s a manly drink.
Me: (shrugging) What can I say? I like my girly drinks because they’re delicious and I love myself. Too bad there’s no umbrella.

It’s funny because Alison made me my first caprese and I used to eat them all the time with the Gradgirl so it made me think of them both.

Didn’t feel right having him cover the bill when it was just me drinking so I secretly paid the bill while he wasn’t looking.

Still, I was touched by the gesture.

Him: Dude, not cool! I wanted to bring you out for your birthday.
Me: And I appreciate it. Thanks for the company.

The bartender struck up a conversation with us and comped me a lemondrop, which also always makes me think of Alison since that was the first drink I ever got her at Solas.

Wrote about it in this entry. In some ways, I’m filled with regret that I didn’t put in more details about all my interactions with her – like the fact that I bought her a lemondrop – but I try not to write about other people if I can help it.

I thought I’d have her with me to reminisce about the details. I thought we’d have time.

Well, fuck. I guess this entry’s done.

Her: I’m finishing up if you want to stop by.
Me: Not tonight, I’m afraid. I’m outta sorts.
Her: You’re no fun.
Me: Evidently not.

Location: home, waiting for him to come back
Mood: detoxing from the week
Music: Rebound, feelin’ like a re-run (Spotify)
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personal

Stealing lines

Hanging with Isabel

Had an interesting 49th birthday this past weekend. First I ran into the French Dancer downtown…

Me: You’re back! When did you get back?
Her: I just got back Monday but I’ve been working on my visa since Monday.
Me: Oh, I’ve done some before in the past. What type?
Her: O1B – the extraordinary artists one. Here, take a look at the paperwork I have to fill out.
Me: Well, you’re the first extraordinary artist I’ve met, then. Whoa! That’s a lotta paperwork. How’s the situationship going?
Her: (laughing) It’s done.
Me: Noted.

There was homemade pie…

Me: I think pie is better than cake.
Her: I agree.
Me: Finally!

….but I had to run off to meet a different lady. That’s a story that starts and ends there.

Most people are as interesting as tap water.

Dammit, I shoulda just stayed for the pie.

Speaking of extraordinary artists, do you remember when I told you that I met this really lovely singer with the NFL Player?

Anywho, her name is Isabel and you can follow her on IG here.

The Counselor and I were looking for stuff to do so we caught Isabel around the way and had a few drinks while listening her sing.

Me: Oh man, I love every song she picked.
Her: Me too!

While Isabel was singing, the Counselor and I caught up.

Me: …so we just wrote him off.
Her: Good for you, not your circus, not your monkeys.
Me: OMG, that’s my line!
Her: What? Lies! That’s not your line, that’s my line.
Me: I beg to differ.

She didn’t like any of the drinks I got her so she got some wine.

Me: You should just finish this, it’s tiny.
Her: That’s what she said.
Me: I literally just said that in my gym class today.
Her: Stop trying to steal all my lines, Logan.

We chatted with Isabel afterward.

Counselor: I love your jacket! Where did you get it?
Isabel: Loft, I think? (checks label) Oh, what’s your sign?
Counselor: It’s X, what’s yours?
Isabel: It’s Y!
Counselor: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow. He’s an Aries.
Isabel: Happy Birthday! (to Counselor) He’s totally an Aries.
Me: What’s happening here?

We ended up swinging by my place because she broke her heel. I tried to fix it, hence the rubber mallet.

Me: Wait, you were the captain of the cheerleading team in high school?
Her: No, I was the twice captain of the varsity cheerleading team in high school.
Me: Oh man, I gotta tell all my friends from high school I’ve been dating a (twice) captain of a varsity cheerleading team. Oh wait, I don’t have any friends from high school.
Her: (laughing) You know, if you had a kid when you were 21, he would be just a few years younger than me.
Me: I just threw up a little in my mouth.

It was late when she caught an Uber home.

My actual birthday was pretty quiet so I’ll just tell you about later.

Still trying to catch up on sleep.

Location: earlier today, telling another Daisy about the grief button
Mood: hungry for pie
Music: you’ll be on my mind forever (Spotify)
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personal

Bringing the kiddie gang to Koreatown

Shoehorned

Because I’ve been out so much lately, I decided that I should take the boy out with his friends at least once.

To this end, I invited my SIL and ABFF and her kids to head out to eat Korean food in Koreatown.

Chose Koreatown because (a) I love Korean food and (b) it was kinda the middle point for alla us.

Unfortunately, because we all met up at 6PM, the place was packed so we had a choice: We could either sit upstairs on the fifth floor sans alcohol and be seated immediately or sit on the second floor, get alcohol but wait 45 minutes for a table.

We chose the former. And by “we,” I mean “they.”

Her: You know, you can eat without drinking, Logan.
Me: Tenuous.

It was pretty nice, though. We essentially had most of the floor to ourselves, save for a couple here or there.

The kids were pretty well-behaved, all things considered. Think they found the whole idea of having a BBQ in the middle of a table kinda interesting.

Her: Why don’t you just order for us?
Me: Way ahead of you.

I ended up ordering waaaay too much food. Forgot that half the table was comprised of children so, for the first time ever, I brought some food home.

Her: Wait, there’s more food?
Me: It’s fine.
Son: Papa will eat it. He eats everything.
Me: Thanks?

Afterward, we went to get pastries across the street.

Pac’s mom has a noodle shop – Noona Noodles – on the ground floor there and I was going to stop by to say hello but the whole place, including her restaurant, was a madhouse.

Suppose people are just super jazzed that the pandemic restrictions are easing substantially.

But, back to the story, it turns out they food court we ended up at shoehorned two small karaoke rooms off to the side.

My son heard the music and couldn’t help but go, watch, and sing along.

Me: Can you imagine if you were singing and you looked down and saw a little boy looking at you sing through that window?
Her: That’s hilarious.

Everyone was full and happy at the end.

As for me, I was totally sober, which was the first night in a while where I could say such a thing.

But there’s always tomorrow.

Me: Well, my major issue’s that Trump’s such a pussy.
Purple: Ugh. Why would you use that word? “Pussy.” It’s vulgar and sexist.
Me: (rolling eyes) It’s derived from the word “pusillanimous,” which means “timid” or “weak.” Google it.
Her: (later) It’s not clear. It either comes from that or from the word “pussycat.”
Me: Both of which have nuthin to do with the female anatomy.
Her: See! You knew that’s what people think.
Me: (shrugging) Most people think that we have five senses, they’re wrong.
Her: Wait, what?

Location: this past weekend, spending $60 for 18 dumplings around the way and wondering why
Mood: hungry for dumplings or Korean BBQ
Music: [see above, this song doesn’t exist anywhere but Spotify, which I find hella annoying]
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I’m a freaking delight

I’m a goddamn pleasure

Out of everything I did the past two weeks, a few meetings/dates were interesting enough to talk about.

I’ll tell you about two or three of them. The first was with this gamer girl that also fights.

We’d been floating around each other for a while but finally decided to meet up for drinks across the street from my physical therapist’s office.

Me: You’ll have to excuse me, I take pictures of my food and drink that no one ever sees.
Her: Oh, I do too!
Me: Ooooh, lemme take a picture of you taking a picture of the drinks.

No umbrellas in them, unfortunately.

I think we both expected to be out for a short while but the conversation was pretty interesting – I’m always grateful when I’m not bored – so we stayed out until late.

Her: What made you learn how to fight?
Me: (shrugging) The usual, I suppose. I was bullied a lot as a kid. You?
Her: (sighing) What you might imagine. Guys on dates.
Me: Ah, I apologize on behalf of my kind. On the plus side, however, it really lowers the bar for a fella like me. Compared to other guys, I’m a goddamn pleasure.
Her: (laughs) I can tell. At least someone gets some benefit.
Me: Heck yeah – thanks to the average frustrated chump, I’m a freaking delight.
Her: (laughs) I know that song!
Me: OMG, you get two points for knowing it!

She had just come from her gym, and I ‘d just come from mine and we were both a bit peckish so we ordered a small cheese plate so we could drink more.

The waiter was really cool and suggested that I get a Downeast Cider.

Him: (taking can and shaking it vigorously) So the deal with this cider is that you have to shake it really hard because it’s unfiltered and…
Me: (interrupting) OK, when you open it, please point it at her and not me?
Her: (laughing) Hey!
Me: Sorry, lady. This is New York. It’s every man – person – for himself. Themselves. You know what I mean.

The waiter then explained that you have to turn the can completely upside down to pour it.

Him: (later) Did you like it?
Me: What’s there not to like? It was tasty and came with a good story behind it.

The gamer girl and I ended up staying out until it was pretty late.

Me: I’m trying to stay in the golden mean – it’s something I was working on a lot years ago and just recently started up again.
Her: How so?
Me: (thinking) I’ve spent the last several years living in the past or in the future. Not to sound all touchy-feely but I’m trying to live in the present, which I haven’t for quite a while.
Her: Ah, like Ram Dass.
Me: Definitely in that vein. 
Her: (later) I should tell you, though. I don’t know if it’s right to bring kids into a world like this.
Me: So funny you bring that up! I spent an entire meal arguing with a buddy over that exact topic. So, no kids for you?
Her: No, sorry. You?
Me: That’s why I’m here, darling.
Her: (later) Would you be down to just hanging out, maybe come by my school and I’ll go by yours?
Me: Oh man, that’s perfect! I always feel it’s me giving the, “let’s just be friends,” speech.

The rain started coming down hard when we finally called it a (late) night.

Her: Shoot, it’s raining. Should we grab a cab?
Me: (dismissively) Please, I’m always prepared. (pull out umbrella and offer her my arm) Shall we?
Her: Lets.

I took a picture of us.

Me: We’re a pretty good-looking couple.
Her: We are.
Me: Shame, really.

Some of my fave people/friends are people that I very briefly dated like El, Caligirl, HEI, Lviv, and the Sexologist.

She seems like she’ll still be fun.

Oh man, the ride home was a disaster. Tried to get a cab, none. Subways weren’t working (at all).

Finally got out and managed to snag a single taxi that got me home well after midnight.

On the ride back, I did chat with someone that doesn’t want to be in this silly-little blog:

Her: How was your date?
Me: Entertaining.
Her: (laughing) Is she my biggest competition?
Me: Her? No, she’s fun and I’ll probably see her again, but my front-runner is someone else entirely.
Her: For now…

There’s more but that’s all I wanted to share with you now.

This week’s quieter but only by so much.

Location: 8PM, a local BBQ and gyro spot (CC)
Mood: super busy, on every front
Music: There must be something wrong with you, cuz I’m a freakin’ delight (Spotify)
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Love is the eye of the storm

That’s why I asked

It’s been busy lately, for a number of reasons.

Red: I should tell you I’m married.
Me: That would have been useful information to have prior to this.
Her: We have an open relationship.
Me: I’m glad you found your person. Unfortunately, that’s not my bag.
Her:  I’ve never [had someone just say no].
Me: Life is nothing if not unexpected. I’m a terrible person, to be sure. But I don’t fuck with marriage.

Blue: Do you really want to know?
Me: That’s why I asked.
Her: Both my parents died and I was 16. So it was either leave school or be homeless. I made a choice. That’s probably why I’m [so successful now].
Me: That’s called a “Hobson’s Choice,” because you really had no choice at all. And I’m sorry.
Her: Don’t be. You didn’t do anything. And everything worked out.
Me: (shrugging) I’m sorry because I’m human. And some people’s human experience is much worse than others.
Her: I appreciate that, after all you’ve been through, you still have empathy for others.
Me: (laughing) How could I not? 

Green/White: I was married. Twice. Are you sure you want to hear about it?
Me: That’s why I asked.
Her: (shrugging) The first one, I was just a kid and it ended early. But the second one just ended right before the pandemic. He had his own trauma and the deal was that he would go to therapy after we got married.
Me: I assume he didn’t.
Her: (bitterly) No. You can tell I’m still angry about it. Sorry.
Me: Don’t apologize for your genuine emotions. You earned them. So, you’re entitled to them.

White: There wasn’t a straw in my drink.
Me: OK. (thinking) Ah, you think I put something into it.
Her: Well…
Me: (taking a sip of her drink) If I end up passing out because someone – not me – roofied your drink, just make sure I get into a cab toward the upper west side?

Black: It’s like a job. Once or twice a week, I wake up, switch on an app, answer a few dozen stupid/boring questions from a buncha stupid/boring guys, and then go on with my week.
Me: Ah, modern romance. Where do I stack up?
Her: (laughing) Are you sure you want to know?
Me: That’s why I asked.
Her: Charming. Handsome.  But shallow. Unable to commit.
Me: (nodding) Seems accurate.

Me: Well, I don’t mean this sound overly romantic, but if you’ll allow me to be maudlin and sentimental…
Her: Let’s hear it.
Me: (nodding) The universe, all of reality, is a storm. Love is the eye of that storm; the one bit of peace in an otherwise cruel and dispassionate world that doesn’t give a shit if we live or die. We’re born naked and confused, without claws, teeth, or fur. Nothing. We only survived because someone loved us enough to make sure we did. I don’t get why someone would want less than that. It’s like someone turning down a billion dollars. Yet, they throw away love for stupid shit as if it isn’t the most rare and valuable thing in existence. And that, Counselor, is what I want. Something I had once and was taken from me.

Location: Solas, of course
Mood: exhausted
Music: Put your arms ’round my neck, and your heart on my chest (Spotify)
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You’re in a Situationship

My mundane little life

Alison was never really into tech – at all. But she loved this ebook reader I got her years ago.

While I sold or donated most of her gadgets, that was the one thing I kept. It meant so much to me that I kept the very box it came in for well over a decade.

Because…well, kinda because of what the below cartoon illustrates.

And yet, I clumsily broke it the other day, which hurt more than I expected it to. But I’m trying to keep in the golden mean still, so I tossed it.

Grief really is such an odd and cruel little beast.

On a different matter entirely, I met up with some friends the other day and there was an attractive pharmacist there.

I was suspiciously seated next to her, but it didn’t matter since I can literally talk to anyone.

Her: So, what do you?
Me: The usual. I cook, bake, clean, teach people how to kill each other, and then go on dates-to-nowhere. You?

Later…

Him: So, what did you think of X?
Me: Oh, she’s lovely.
Him: And…?
Me: (puzzled) And what? She’s 29. I’m 49.
Him: You’re almost 49.
Me: Jesus Christ…

Similarly, I went to another party with the Surgeon and his wife. There was a young French dancer there too.

Once again, we ended up sitting next to each other.

Me: Wait, he lives in Texas? Oh, so you’re not in a relationship, you’re in a situationship.
Her: (laughing, then speaking in a cool French accent) Is that what it’s called?
Me: Evidently. I just found out that I was in a situationship for three years and immediately jumped into another one – or two…
Her: (later) Here, take my number.
Me: Ok then. Give me your phone and I’ll call myself.

As it turns out, the woman that taught me the phrase dropped me a 1AM text that was both sweet and sad.

I’ll keep the details of it to myself since I’m actually wondering where that one’s going.

But, getting back to the dancer, she’s actually on a plane back to Paris as you read this because she’s dancing in a show there.

Him: I see you got her digits.
Me: You know she’s 26, right?
Him: (shrugging)
Me: OK, then…

Speaking of planes, world events are really freaking me out. The other day, two Ospreys flew over my son’s school. It was nuts.

Him: (excitedly) Did you see that?! It was so cool!
Me: (concerned) Well, that’s one word for it.

But, so far, World War III hasn’t happened. Instead, it’s just the mundane little life I’ve grown to love in my own way.

Him: I want double chocolate chip cookies.
Me: But I just baked peanut butter oatmeal cookies.
Him: DOUBLE. CHOCOLATE. CHIP. COOKIES!!!!
Me: What’s in it for me?
Him: You’re my papa and you love me.
Me: (dammit) This is a compelling argument.

Very compelling, it turns out.

Seriously, I need a life partner just so this kid doesn’t take me for a ride for the next 20-30 years.

Location: the kitchen, baking like a madman
Mood: ambitious
Music: Thought that you would change, you didn’t (Spotify)
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Interestingly Weird

It’s like a salad but with alcohol

Saw my college friends – with alla our kids – the other day. They wanted to check out the gym. The kids had a blast running all over the mats.

Afterwards, we walked over to Shake Shack which is exactly what they all wanted.

I’ve known one of these guys since we were 16 years old – 32 years. It really boggles the mind.

There’s an older fella, that joined our gym that lives just a few blocks from my pad.

He runs a hedge fund, but used to play for the NFL, so he’s got a tonier address than I do. Much.

Mentioned to him that Charles Pan-Fried Chicken moved from Harlem to halfway between the two of us.

The lines have been around the block but he has people that work for him so he sent one of them to wait in line for us.

Him: What should she order?
Me: Definitely the fried chicken, the collard greens, and the ribs. God, the ribs are killer. Man, it’s good to have people.

She ordered enough to feed an army. Or just me.

Me: I’m going to kill all the chicken.
Him: Go ahead, we got it for you!

Because he used to play for the NFL, he’s a giant. But I think I ate more than him, which is a bit embarrassing.

I brought the kid over for dinner to boot, and his wife just adored him. It was sweet to see.

Me: (to kid) You’re making a mess!
Her: It’s fine, I have a son and remember this.
Me: You’re being too nice.

The kid literally just wanted the mac and cheese and the cornbread. He ate FOUR pieces of cornbread.

Him: I’m full.
Me: (scoffing) Yeah, of carbs.
Him: I love carbs!

Years ago, I was always the youngest of the people I hung out with. A number of them called me, “the kid,” a lot.

Since Alison died, I mostly hung out with people from my gym, who were all at least 15-20 years younger than me, making me the elder statesman of the group.

But, I’m trying to fix a buncha things in my life. One thing is how over-weighted I’ve been with much younger people in my social circle.

It’s fine, for the most part, but when you’re the oldest and most experienced person in a group, you’re usually giving information rather than getting it.

And, like I’ve said a buncha times before, you’re the average of the five people you hang out with the most and I feel my mind focusing on things that it shouldn’t be focusing on.

So, between hanging out with Steel and his surgeon brother, my college friends, and the NFL Player, I feel more like the version of me I was before everything went down.

Plus, I like hanging out with hyper-ambitious and successful people because their energy rubs off on me.

After all, it’s better to have success models versus failure models.

My life’s becoming interestingly weird again, which I kinda missed.

Later on, I invited the NFL Player out to eat some Chinese food to repay him for all the killer soul food we had.

Me: Notice something?
Him: What?
Me: You’re one of the only non-Chinese here. So, you know the food’s killer.

Ordered an obscene amount of food, as you might imagine.

We ended up grabbing drinks around the way – I ordered a mojito…

Him: What is that, exactly?
Me: It’s like a salad, but with alcohol.

…and some Hemmingway daiquiris.

He’s set on fixing me up with some of his friends.

Him: (showing me a picture) What about her?
Me: Oh, she’s pretty. But I’m currently…
Him: (interrupting) She’s worth half-a-billion dollars.
Me: Welp, suddenly, I’m a lot more interested. Although the last almost billionaire I dated was an asshole. Wait, you wanna set up a super wealthy woman with a dude that runs a gym?
Him: (laughs) You have your charm. (later) Let’s go talk to the singer…

Next thing you know, he’s shoving me in front of the singer at the bar we’re at.

Him: In terms of charm, out of 10, what would you give my buddy Logan here?
Her: (laughing) A solid 10.
Him: There you go. Logan?
Me: Jesus Christ…I can’t bring him anywhere. So, what’s your story?

Location: earlier today, learning a pressure pass with Pac
Mood: flattered
Music: know right here and now that I’d go anywhere with you (Spotify)
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A Strange & Complicated Evening Pt 1: Sounds Class

No, no time at all

My friend Bridget hit me up the other day. There’s a bidding war going on for her skills in business and she asked if we could meet up for dinner on Thursday.

I already had a date lined up with the Counselor later on that night but the timing actually worked out.

Me: If you’re up for Korean, we can head to Koreatown.
Bridge: Koreatown sounds class, let’s do that, you pick the place.

The weather was just lovely so we took a walk from 18th Street to 32nd Street. Along the way, I showed her where Alison and I went on our first date all those years ago.

Here’s a picture of Alison that I snapped right before I walked up to her to tell her that I was there.

Man, I loved that girl. Fuck me.

Bridge: You know we’ve known each other close to 20 years?
Me: (laughing) Has it been that long?
Her: You know what I hate the most about that?
Me: What?
Her: You haven’t aged a day. Nadi and I both hate that about you.

I actually interviewed her for her gig all those years ago. I liked her immediately. She had this really cool Irish brogue to boot.

This was being filmed on the walk up.

After we settled into my go-to Korean restaurant, I reminded her that she and her husband were the last people to see Alison out and about, socially.

Her: (thinking) I’ve been wondering when I should bring this up.
Me: What?
Her: (slowly) We’re divorcing. It’s been a long time coming.
Me: I have to say, Alison always wondered why you were with him.

That unpleasantness aside, we honestly both had a great time hanging out.

Her: …I have about 45 people reporting to me.
Me: Jesus Christ. I remember meeting you when all you had was crazy ambition. Now look at you. My cousin Ras has this saying that she loves and you’re kinda the definition of it: You’re a Boss Bitch.
Her: (laughing) I like it.
Me: Now, how can I make this work for me?

Afterward, I walked her back to the train station.

Her: I hope you give one of these women a chance. (gently) The lawyer sounds promising. Give her a chance. The others…
Me: We’ll see. I’m in a weird headspace.

That was totally true.

After she left, I thought about everything we discussed and started getting really angry. It’s irrational, I know.

See, it turns out that he was drinking himself to death. They’ve got two kids and hearing that made me so…angry.

Alison and my dad struggled for so long to survive and this dude was killing himself instead of dealing with his demons.

But then I realized I did the same thing myself for years and, somehow, that just made me angrier.

Decided to head back to the gym and, while I was changing, Chad noticed that I wasn’t myself.

Him: Are you ok?
Me: I’m drunk and I’m angry.
Him: How angry?
Me: Murderously.
Him: OK, then you gotta go.
Me: (nodding)

So, less than five minutes after I arrived, I changed yet again, and walked out the door.

Had to pull myself together because I was meeting up with the Counselor. I was so messed up that I drafted a message to her asking her for a rain check.

But she actually beat me to the punch before I could send it.

Counselor: Hey, I’m sooo sorry to do this but I have to reschedule our date tonight. I had a bit of an emergency come up and I just can’t get around it. I’m super disappointed I have to cancel.
Me: Do you not have any time at all?

This was her response:

Her: No, no time at all.

That was the start of one of the strangest and complicated evenings I’ve ever had.

And I’ve had many strange and complicated evenings in this life.

Location: earlier today, running into a possible past downtown
Mood: not sober
Music: When the world goes changing, I will be your sure thing (Spotify)
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personal

The Floater

Rising rapidly in the rankings

Friend: Please, you seek out [rich and successful] people.
Me: That’s not exactly true.

It’s been a strange few weeks.

Some important people in my life left, some came back, and some seem to have just arrived.

Still trying to make sense of it all.

Saw some college friends – along with their kids – this past weekend.

Never told you this but the head surgeon at one of the major hospitals is a buddy of mine.

When Alison had one of her billion surgeries, she was super weak and couldn’t make the return trip to remove the staples in her skull. So, he made a house call, came over, and removed them for us. No questions asked.

It was a super kind gesture for a dude that is ridonk high-ranking in NYC. He never saw her again.

It hurt me to write that.

Dunno why I feel compelled to tell you that.

We met again at the party in NJ from a few years back. And this past weekend, I brought the boy to his (ginormous!) apartment in Chelsea after the kid and I met his brother and nephew for dim sum in Chinatown.

It was bittersweet. The boy, however, had a blast.

Him: Do we have to go?
Me: ‘Fraid so, kiddo.
Him: Awwwww…

Speaking of doctors, got fixed up with one recently. Totally my type BUT just zero chemistry.

Me: If you were trapped on a desert island, what would be the one thing you’d want to have?
Her: Why would I be trapped on a desert island?

That’s how the entire evening was. It was like pulling teeth. God, I hate dating.

Although, we did discuss just that.

Her: Well, there is this one guy. He’ll never commit but it’s hard to just stop things with him.
Me: Ah, a floater. I had a floater of my own for a while, once. So, I get it. But ultimately, it’s all just a waste of everyone’s time.

While I was chatting with her, a smoking hot lawyer that I met recently hit me up.

She actually WAS a law professor while I only wished to be one.

Her: It’s been an extreeeeeeeemely [long day]. And it’s not looking like it’s wrapping up anytime soon. What are you up to?
Me: I’m writing you on a date if that means anything. I’m an awful person but I’m bored to tears at the moment.
Her: Do you need an emergency work call? Just say the word.
Me: I would but I’m trying to wrap this up naturally.

It’s funny, you kinda realize what you want more when presented with a better option.

So, I took it.

Me: (exiting) Another date-to-nowhere, over.
Her: Ugh, those are the worst. I’m at least marginally more fun.

Thought about what my friend said about my seeking out rich and successful people. There’s some truth to that but it’s along the same lines as, “I married Alison for her money.”

It’s not that I want to be friends with them because they’re wealthy and wildly successful, it’s that they made them themselves wealthy and wildly successful. That ambition and drive is what attracts me.

Told you once that you’re the average of the five people that you hang out with the most.

When you have a relationship with someone, you don’t just have a relationship with them, you have a relationship with the five people they hang out with the most, and the five people that each one of those five hang out with and so on.

And if they’re all lame with zero ambition, that rubs off on them, and – ultimately – on you.

A buddy once told me that he hung out with me so much that he became me. But, I realized that he actually became the person he was crushing on since high school because that’s who he spends the most time floating around and aspiring to be.

The thing is that I stopped hanging out with his crush – who’s, honestly, quite nice but just so…lame; she’s not particularly bad, but she’s also not particularly anything, really.

And I realized that I continued hanging out with him, the lameness of his crush would glom onto me and I couldn’t have that.

It probably sounds elitist to you, but there are 7.753 billion people in the world and you can’t hang out with all of them.

Why not have your five be wildly successful versus just meh?

Besides, now that I’ve got the kid, gotta be very careful who I let into his life. Because they’ll leave a bit of themselves with me, and I’ll – in turn – leave them with him.

Which, depending on the person, might not be a bad thing.

Her: Actually, the case I’m working on is in the papers right now. Google, [my client] and you can read up on where we are right now.
Me: (minutes later) Holy shitballs, Counselor! (later) I’m super turned on right now. You’re rising rapidly in the rankings
Her: (laughing) Does first place get a gold star?
Me: (scoffing) Please, I’m the prize! What woman wouldn’t want a neurotic and clumsy, but somewhat charming, non-practicing Ivy-League-educated lawyer that fights and cooks?
Her: (continues laughing)

Location: earlier today, showing Chad now to remove a flapper
Mood: stupidly optimistic
Music: Got some brand new wings. No, we won’t go back. (Spotify)
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Categories
personal

Parenting Drama Pt 2 – Educate the Children

It’s French

I’m sure you remember the Pythagorean theorem from grammar school.

But, Pythagoras was also a philosopher, with a quote I’ve always liked: Educate the children and it won’t be necessary to punish the men.

Obvs, let’s make it gender neutral.

That’s kinda how I look at my responsibility when it comes to teaching this kid. If I screw it up, he’ll bear the punishment for my failures, not me. Can’t have that.

On the flip side, though, I wonder if I’m too strict. Spoke to my mom not that long ago:

Her: I think you’re too hard on him.
Me: I’m too hard on him?! Have you met you? You were super hard on us.
Her: Noooooo.
Me: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Her: (ignoring me) He’s such a good boy. Be easier on him.
Me: What planet am I on right now?

Now, before we went to the party together last weekend, I was supposed to have a sitter come in for part of the day but she totally flaked with on me, first with this excuse:

Her next text was saying the snow was too much. Very annoying.

But, the boy and I ended up having a really fun time the whole weekend, starting out in Central Park with his classmates.

And the next day, it was literally just him and me in this playground the entire morning.

Man, being a parent is stressful. Dunno if any of these choices I’m making are the right ones, but I hope they are.

Him: I’m bore…
Me: Don’t say it! Don’t say it.
Him: Fiiiiine. I’m going to play my ukulele. (walks away)
Me: (under breath) Just don’t start a band, drop out of school, and become a musician.
Him: What?
Me: I said, have fun!

Mouse was in the city, so she and I grabbed dinner around the way. Purely as friends.

Me: You drove all the way in so, obviously, my treat.
Her: French/Japanese. Something flavorful.

We ended up going to the same bistro I went to the other day with Chad and friends.

Me: A Croque Madame is essentially a grilled cheese with ham and an egg.
Her: That’s an insane price for a grilled cheese.
Me: (shrugging) It’s French.

We went to a bar around the way, but it was closed so we went to another bar down the street.

It was late when she went home.

Once wrote that I was never friends with a serious ex.

But I’m trying new things because we’re both part of the fabric of each other’s lives. Still, it’s complicated.

Her: Get out.
Me: (sighing) Hokay, I’ll try again tomorrow.

Ended up having a completely sleepless night because I’m not used to eating or drinking at night – I’m still doing intermittent fasting so I rarely consume anything after 6PM.

Just as well.

The Acrobat: What are you up to?
Me: Talking to you, evidently.

Location: earlier today, in the third nicest apartment I’ve ever been in. This time, right outside the gym
Mood: so fulla carbs, you wouldn’t believe
Music: classy girls don’t kiss in bars, you fool (Spotify)
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