Tag: nightlife

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personal

I only have two modes

Getting Old is a Gift

A few weeks ago:

Her: Here. You want some?
Me: No, I’m good, darling.
Her: (laughing) I thought you were a lawyer, not a cop.
Me: It’s not that. I’m only have two modes: Way too much or not at all.

Decades ago, I was in a club called Club USA for work when I was called upstairs to chat with the big mucky-muck.

There was a mirrored platter – maybe it was just a mirror, I don’t remember – with a mountain of cocaine on it. They motioned for me to sit down and the fella that called me upstairs handed me a rolled-up piece of paper.

Me: No, I’m good.
Him: What are you, a cop?
Me: No. I had some earlier and I don’t wanna overdo it.

That was a bald-faced lie, I was just scared.

The clubs were always swimming in drugs but I never took any because I was a club producer not a club consumer. But I was certain I’d be seen as what I thought myself to be: A fake and a poser.

After what seemed to be forever, the main guy looked at me and…

Him: (slowly nodding) Never had one of you say no. It’s good to know your limits, kid. So, what’s your offer?

And that was the start of my twenties in NYC, which were pretty nuts. Too bad I didn’t have a blog back then.

Funny thing is, a fella joined my gym earlier this week and brought up Rain, who did have a blog during that crazy time.

Him: …I was part of all that. Like AsianAvenue.
Me: (laughing) Do you remember Rain?
Him: Wait, you’re Logan from Bachelor Cooking?
Me: That was a lifetime ago, but yeah.

Thought about that because I got an invite to a party thrown by my friends around the way.

Last time, it was me and the Gymgirl at The Time Warner Center. This time, it was me and the kid on an entire floor at the Park Hyatt.

As soon as we walked in, we saw RE Mike and his wife, Maggie.

Her: OMG, that’s your son? He’s so big now! He’s adorable.
Me: It’s good, because I’m required by law to keep him another 11 years.

It was a great night – the kid sang all the songs and danced up a storm – well, until people took note of a little kid singing along to all the current pop songs.

Her: How does he know all these songs?
Me: Heck if I know, he just does.

Then he just wrapped his arms around me and asked to go back the table.

But he spent most of the night with Maggie and all the other women I knew there at the party.

Which is just as well, because I’m worried that he might be developing a gambling habit.

The funny thing is that my buddy from around the way, me, and RE Mike used to head out on the town together and hit up the clubs.

They remember when I met the German Girl at a local dive bar and any number of other random women/outings.

And now we’re having filet mignon and tuna tartare with champagne at the Park Hyatt with a live band, professional dancers, and more entertainment than you can shake a stick at.

Although, it’s good I didn’t bring any sticks to shake.

It’s also good having success models as friends.

Speaking of friends, my friend Sue wrote me recently, noting that she was sad she was getting older.

Me: I get it but I appreciate the luxury of being able to get old at all. As you know, I know too many that don’t have that. So try to be grateful that I can get old at all.
Her: You’re right, that’s something to be thankful for.

Every day is a gift.  And these gifts are even better when they’re with good and old friends.

Me: Thanks for always including us. We so appreciate it.
Her: Of course. We love you both.

And family.

Location: earlier today, at a swimming pool wondering if I should jump in
Mood: grateful
Music: You gotta wake up every morning, see the day as a gift
 (Spotify)
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personal

Chad and Mouse turn 32

I can work it!

Chad and Mouse both turned 32 recently. Unlike when they turned 30, this was a far more sedate affair.

Chad was in the mood for ramen – or so I thought – so Pac and I took him and Mouse out to eat at Oramen just around the way from the gym.

Pac and I got there first.

Him: I’m gonna get some hot sake. It’s perfect for weather like this.
Me: I’ll have some too.

We ended up ordering sushi and appetizers for the table just cause he and I were already hungry.

Then Chad and Mouse showed up.

Me: Wait, we came to a ramen joint because you wanted ramen and you’re not ordering ramen.
Him: No, I said I wanted to come here because the food’s good.

They had duck ramen and I was tempted to get that but instead got the beef rib ramen.

It was excellent. I’m getting hungry just writing this.

We all chatted for a bit before we left, but not before the owner caught us heading out and offered to take a picture of us with my camera.

We ended up going to the same place we went to for their 30th – and Mouse’s 28th – Solas.

Some other people from the gym showed up and we ended up staying there until about midnight or so.

Mouse and I left last.

Me: Shall we dance?
Her: (laughs) OK.

We went downstairs and stayed there for a bit before she called an Uber and I headed home. It was nice seeing everyone have a good time.

Had a pretty restless night because of all the drinking and other reasons but that’s neither here nor there.

Met up with sister-in-law at the Plaza Hotel the next day; she was nice enough to watch the boy while I went out the night before.

Chad and I actually met up again on Sunday; The CEO asked us out to brunch and, since I live around the way, I could hardly say no.

He introduced us an Army Colonel, and two well-heeled financial guys – one was also a Judo Instructor and the other the Vice-President of The CEO’s co-op on Central Park West.

VP: Wait, you’re single? You should meet my sister.
Me: You should hear more about me before you offer up relatives to meet me.
The CEO: I’ve already tried to fix Logan up with a hot blonde and someone else.
VP: I’ll send you her information.

Chad was gonna order a burger but I convinced him to get the Croque Madame instead, just because we had been chatting about maybe heading off to Europe one of these days.

He ended up being more open to it than my son was.

Me: How was it?
Him: Pretty good!

Me? I ordered the Egg Benedict with smoked salmon and a side salad just because I’ve been working out like mad lately and wanted to keep the diet up as well.

Although I cheated a great deal.

Me: Chad, I’m taking some of your fries.
Colonel: There’s some here as well.
Me: Oh, I’ll take those too. It doesn’t count if you didn’t order it.

They were all pretty interesting fellas but the Colonel was actually a lecturer at West Point on Strategies and Tactics.

Me: You know, it’s funny, but Chad and I [through our Scenic Fights channel] talk a lot about strategies and tactics on a micro level, whereas your expertise seems the same, but on a macro level.
Him: Oh, we can all get together and talk shop anytime.
Me: I’m down. I actually thought about being a professor myself, but I would just want to teach. Stuff like grading exams and dealing with students keeps me from pursuing that.
Chad: Yeah, I just want to teach. Logan takes care of everything else for me.

The CEO ended up covering the entire bill.

Me: Oh man…
Him: It’s fine, I invited you all out.
Me: It’s not that, had I known you were going to pay, I woulda ordered the steak.

After a while, we all went our separate ways. Chad and I talked about the gym for a bit before I brought the kid to a playdate around the way.

Me: Look out for the dog poop!
Him: I know how to work it, Papa!

The mother of the kid that we met up and I started talking about diet and exercise and she actually subscribes to the exact same dietary philosophy that I adhere to.

Me: I mainly feed him protein, fat, and fiber.
Her: Me too!

She made most of her money as an artist and I pretty impressed with her set up. She’s a single parent just like me that also lived in a Manhattan duplex.

Me: Yeah, the kid having his own room is perfect. I get my own space, he gets his.
She: Exactly!

We ended agreeing on most things, which is pretty rare since I think I raise the boy pretty differently from most people.

In any case, by the time we got home, both the kid and were wiped.

Him: I want to call Mouse on her birthday.
Me: That can be arranged. Did you have fun this weekend?
Him: (sleepily nods)
Me: Me too, kiddo.

Location: earlier today, hearing about an ambush in Afghanistan while safely having coffee on the UWS
Mood: curious
Music: I know my heart’s got room for you (Spotify)
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Luck is strange and heartbreaking

Tempting fate

I’ve been tempting fate for the past year or so by keeping my toothpaste and my hand creme next to each other on the bathroom sink.

(Yes, I brush with children’s toothpaste; it’s easier and neater than having two things that perform the exact same function).

Well, it finally happened: I recently mixed the two up in the worst way. My skin smells like outrageous orange mango and my teeth and gums are now fully moisturized.

Not altogether terrible, I suppose.

And, if nothing else, my luck remains ever consistent. Case-in-point, I made the kid guacamole recently. Above is what I saw when I opened it.

After I was done laughing, my mind went dirty as I recalled a conversation with a young woman.

She told me she was getting hot and heavy with some dude and ended up having precisely the opposite experience of what I just had with this avocado.

Me: What did you do?
Her: What could I do? We were in it.

So, it’s not just my luck that could use improving.

Speaking of my luck, there’s a folder of stuff from my life before Alison that I spent years decades curating. It was almost my third career. I went looking for it recently for reasons that aren’t important and it’s gone.

I’m not sure if it disappeared during the second theft or Sleepy Logan deleted it or someone came into my apartment and deleted it.

It’s both maddening and slightly frightening.

Him: You never made a backup?
Me: That was my backup.

Spent the better part of a week searching for that folder. As I was looking for it, I thought about an old friend that helped me develop what was in it.

I’ve not him seen in a while – like the folder, he just up and disappeared.

Me: I’m thinking of trying to find him.
Him: How would you even start?
Me: I don’t know. I’m not sure how to find someone that’s as smart as him that doesn’t want to be found.

Speaking of Sleepy Logan, it’s hard to say sometimes if he’s me or I’m him.

I get confused even now. So little about my life makes any sense to me anymore.

Her: What are you looking for?
Me: Someone to be on my side, I suppose.
Her: (laughing) That doesn’t sound like too big an ask.
Me: You’d be surprised.
Her: And if someone was?
Me: (shrugging) I’d always be on hers. 

Just got some more absolutely devastating news about another friend of mine.

What it is about young Caucasian women dealing with life-threatening illnesses?

Luck is such a strange and heartbreaking thing.

Location: yesterday, around the Soup Nazi joint
Mood: busy
Music: It’s my life, I’m just fine, eating avocado (Spotify)
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Being Bougie with Ras

What everyone says

As I said, my cousin Ras hit me up months ago because she wanted to take me out to eat. Again.

Me: Was I right about everything?
Her: Yes!!!! You were so right about being reasonable; he used that term dozens of times in our call. Let me take you out to eat, someplace bougie.

I’m really not a bougie kinda eater, as evidenced by my love of $1 pizza slices. Still, she insisted and I’m never one to say no to food, as you’ll soon see.

Our reservations for the restaurant she wanted finally came this past week so she stopped by the gym and got her first roll in almost two years.

Then we showered and went with Chad to get drinks over at Barcade, NYC.

The last time I was there was with Chad and some friends after Alison passed.

Him: Women are just used to being pursued.
Me: It’s prob more accurate that they’re better at playing the game.
Her: You mean dating?
Me: The way I see it, all women are at least blue belts when it comes to dating. Figure that, the average girl has to fight off unwanted male advances 2-3 times a week starting at 14 for like 30 years. Contrast this with the average frustrated dude that probably *speaks* to 2-3 women they don’t know a year.
Her: You two aren’t like that.
Me: Nope. And you’re like a black belt when it comes to relationships too.
Her: Yeah – when they’re not mine. And some people clearly shouldn’t be dating anyone until they get their own lives in order.

Chad went off to go on a date and Ras and I caught a ride to Kochi, cause I’m a sucker for Korean food.

As soon as we arrived, we were treated to some champagne.

Her: My friend told them we were coming and hooked us up.
Me: Great, cause I’m starving.

She got us the tasting menu, which was fulla absolutely delicious – and absolutely tiny – dishes. Each one was a winner.

The alcohol kept coming too. Lots of it was on the house, but Ras made sure our cups were never empty.

Her: I’m stuffed. You?
Me: I could go for a $1 slice of pizza.
Her: You’re kidding me. OK.

So off we went to a pizza joint just down the block. I got a slice and a Jamaican beef patty.

Her: Are you full now?
Me: Do you really want to know the answer?

So off we went to Los Tacos No. 1.

Her: I just want the horchata but I’m buying you the Especial.
Me: Don’t you dare, you…
Her: Too late. You’re the only one that believed in me.

Her: Are you full NOW?!
Me: …yes?
Her: I don’t know how you eat that much.
Me: That’s what everyone says.

There’s more but I’m le tired. Still, my social obligations are almost over.

Almost.

Location: earlier today, being told I could lift more on 36th Street
Mood: fuzzy
Music: Just know that you’re good enough (Spotify)
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Becoming a fatty-fat-fat

I’m a goddamn blast

My son cried this week because I’ve been out almost every night for the past two weeks or so.

Him: I never see you.
Me: I see you every day! We have brekkie together every morning, I get you from school, and we have hours together.
Him: It’s not enough!

Parental guilt is awful. Anywho, this is because, for the first time in years that I went back to my Never turn down an invitation, rule and I’m exhausted.

It’s off again, so don’t invite me anywhere. I’m done until January 2nd, 2022.

Also, I’m ten pounds heavier; I went from 141 to 151 pounds in two weeks. For reasons that will be readily apparent.

For the first time, I met someone with the kid…because she had a kid too. A pretty adorbs daughter.

The woman was exactly my type: Attractive, buxom, wealthy, coloured eyed, wealthy…I mentioned wealthy already.

But…

Her: I hope you don’t mind, I brought pasta for her. She only eats pasta.
Me: Wait, what? But we’re in a Chinese restaurant. In Chinatown. There’re noodles galore.
Her: She’ll only eat plain pasta with some cheese and oil. That’s it. Nothing else.
Me: No fruit? No veggies? What about fiber and protein?
Her: She just won’t do it. (later) He has his own room? That’s great! She does too but sleeps with me every night.
Me: (nodding as the girl begins to bang on the table)

Non. Starter.

I’m at an age when it’s just as important that someone be a match for the kid as she is one for me.

I also met up with my buddy Ollie, who’s actually a black belt in jits despite us starting at the same time. My old coach was just the pits.

That’s him, above, listening to Chad tell a story at the bar.

The plus of hanging out with Ollie – I’ve known him close to 30 years – was that he could corroborate a lotta the crazy stories that I tell people.

Me: Tell him about our buddy that has so much scratch that he covers an entire restaurant’s bill.
Ollie: Even better, I’ve got pics of his wedding. Did Logan ever tell you…
Me: (later) It’s been a long time, man.
Him: (nodding) I read about your wife. Well, I tried to. I couldn’t finish it, I kept crying.
Me: Yeah. You and me both.

On that note, both Chad and Mouse were out with us. Mouse and I got along a lot better, I think, than we had in the past year. It was really nice, TBH.

She showed me pics of her and the kid that I’d never seen before and I gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Me: Thank you for that.
Her: (shrugging) Sure. Google shows me these pics all the time.
Me: Send it to me, will you, please?

She was nice enough to give Chad and me a lift to the subway in my old whip. Once she dropped us off, he and I promptly each got two slices of $1 pizza.

Him: God. Dollar pizza is so good.
Me: I’m getting us another slice.

On the ride home, I got up so an older couple could sit together.

They were so grateful. I teared up a bit because they looked so in love. She was so happy to sit next to him and lay her head on his shoulder.

I wonder if I’ll ever have something like that when I’m their age.

The next day, my cousin Ras came by to roll for a bit. She wanted to take me out because she got a crazy promotion that I (kinda) helped out with.

But that’s a funny story so I’ll tell you that part tomorrow or sometime this week.

Today, I was out during the day doing…stuff. BUT, it was the first night I was going to be home for dinner in weeks.

The kid and I were going to have dinner together when both Chad and I got hit up by a buddy of ours at the gym. It was his birthday and he wanted us to go meet up with him in Koreatown.

While he did mention it previously, I don’t think people realize how much planning a parent – especially a single parent – needs to be social.

Him: I am having a small get together at Let’s Meat at 7:30 for my bday. Not really sure if I need to get a reservation for a Sunday night but lemme know so I can get a headcount.
Chad: Crap, you mentioned this yesterday. I’m hesitant to say yes because it’ll be clutch for me.
Him: One of you have to make it otherwise I will be unhappy.
Chad: Logan, this is your moment to become a hero.
Me: Wait, today? I don’t have a sitter. Dammit, I love KBBQ!
Him: I’ll let this one slide since you guys have been running the gym so well.
Me: Please, this was a non-vite – I woulda come had I gotten an earlier heads up, you rat bastard.

It’s just as well. I’m becoming a fatty-fat-fat.

Her: We’re right by you.
Me: Jesus Christ. I need lead time, lady. LEAD TIME!
Her: You’re no fun, Logan.
Me: With enough lead time, lady, I’m a goddamn blast.

Location: earlier today, asking her if she liked KBBQ
Mood: plump
Music: You’re something that I can’t forget (Spotify)
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The cool kids (2X)

Sprinting away

My mom misses my dad a lot these days. It’s the holidays, I think.

Her: It’s been four years since they left. Time moves so fast.
Me: The hours drag but the years sprint away. Yes.

While the gym was closed, Chad swung by to go over some plans for 2022.

The weather’s been freakishly warm and nice in the city lately; we’re obviously going to hell in a hand basket what with climate change and all but I suppose one takes any win one can.

We got a salad and then went to get a cup of coffee.

One of our students lived around the way so I hit him up; he’s the one with the second nicest apartment I’ve ever been to.

Me: Are you around for a cup of joe with me and Chad in the hood?
Him: Now? Yes! I am a cool kid…
Me: Thank god, we need at least one in the group.

We ended up going to his place and chatting for a spell, which was interesting because he had a different perspective on a few things as compared to Chad and me.

The views from his pad didn’t hurt.

The next day, I went to get my COVID booster (finally) and chatted to the girl ahead of me.

Me: Not everyone can pull off a red leather jacket.
Her: Only cool kids can!
Me: Oh, then we have a problem.

I got both the flu and COVID shots in the same arm; zero effects on me as a whole but my arm hurt like the dickens.

Today, I took my first class in the gym after the construction was done. Looked like a million bucks.

Me: Well, that wasn’t cheap but the guy did a killer job.
Him: And the mats feel great too.
Me: Considering how much we spent, they’d better.

Back before my world turned to shit, the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years were a whirl of parties to meet women and clients.

In a sense, I’m back there again, but mainly to numb the pain of holidays more than anything else.

Got invited to seven parties just this week alone. Went to two of them so far.

One was my law firm, and their annual office holiday party. Even though I’ve not been steadily active with them since Alison got sick, I was touched to still be invited to all the reindeer games.

They ordered porterhouses from Benjamin Steakhouse and I ate most of it, I think.

It was a more interesting party than we had pre-COVID for a number of reasons, including that one of our buddies made partner and we had a slew of new, young attorneys in the office.

Her: Anyone want to go outside for a smoke? This one is covered with gold leaf.
Boss: Well, it is legal…
Me: I, personally, am offended by this suggestion. I will go and supervise.

I’d forgotten was it was like to be a young and optimistic attorney.

Seems like a million years ago.

I’d not met most of them but they’d heard stories of me so it was kinda like they knew me but I just met them. I felt a bit like a celebrity.

But I had to leave early with my boss because I had another party to attend, this time with an old client.

On the way there, a busker was playing With Arms Wide Open by Creed and I thought of my son.

He was on my mind when I got there and looked for my friend when I met this pretty blonde.

Me: Where’s Jen?
Her: Oh, she got wrecked and left early.
Me: Well, you’ll have to keep me company, then. She’s the only person I know here. My name’s Logan.
Her: (laughs) Hi, Logan…

She was 23 (of course) and a huge fan of illicit pharmaceuticals. But loads of fun. That’s all I’ll share for now.

It was late when I got home. Fun Logan and alla that.

I’m still trying to figure out where I belong, if I belong anywhere.

Suppose as long as with the kid, I belong somewhere.

Location: earlier today, talking about the UCC and Kokomo just off Grand Central
Mood: curious
Music: I hope he’s not like me, I hope he understands (Spotify)
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Success models

We can’t stay here

The dinner itself was fun and the food was killer. It was also good to see the fellas outside of the gym and in our regular selves.

Him: I’m starting up a new venture with some big Hollywood stars.
Me: Do you need a lazy, high-functioning alcoholic lawyer?
Him: Oh, we have one of those already.
Me: Dammit.

It was so much, in fact, that we ended up staying out until they turned on the lights in the restaurant.

Him: I think they’re trying to tell us something.
Me: Yeah, we don’t have to go home, but we can’t stay here.

Most of what we discussed is unprintable, either because it was about the business or because it was about our personal lives.

Him: …and then the kid and his friends came out with guns and started firing.
Me: Well, I’m not visiting you there, then.

Told you once that you’re the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. These people should be your success models: The people we wanna be.

But there are probably just as many failure models in your life as there as success models. These are the people that are people like the consistently poor decision-makers, the immature, the selfish, the willfully ignorant, etc. Unfortunately, it’s a lot easier to end up with failure models than success models.

Him: I remember some of the advice he gave me.
Me: Man, taking business advice from him is like taking relationship advice from someone that’s never been in a good one.

Chad and I know a fella that’s super-focused on building, essentially, a martial arts cult for some mythical yesteryear versus a commercially successful business for 2022 NYC.

It’s mental masturbation full of nonsense versus concerted, dispassionate grind. And a life focused on mental masturbation produces precisely the same result as a life focused on actual masturbation. After all, if you keep doing what you do, you keep getting what you get.

He’s our walking, talking, cautionary tale.

In the end, we picked the investors because they’re all very successful in their respective fields and all had a skill or attribute that would be a tangible benefit to the gym and each other.

A plus is that they’re all extremely good fighters in their respective arts, which helps if you’re running a martial arts gym.

It stopped raining when we finally left.

Me: We should do this again, soon.
Investor 1: I’m away for the next three months at [a resort I own]. You guys should visit.
Investor 2: I’m away for the next two months in [the Caribbean with my family].
Investor 3: I’m in Europe for a day for work this week but back for the holidays and then traveling again.
Me: Clearly, I’ve made some poor life choices. If I didn’t have the kid in school…

Speaking of the kid, he and I put up a Christmas tree together. I bought a slightly larger tree than the one that was damaged, and I had to toss.

It was the first time we decorated a tree together. Man, he was so happy. I told him the story – as best I could – of each ornament, alla which had a story with them.

Him: The bell really works!
Me: (laughing) Yes, yes it does.
Him: It’s so cool! (thinking) I miss mommy.
Me: (sighing)

When he went to bed, I sat there and just stared at the tree for a while before I poured myself a glass of fine aged rum and thought about all of my possible pasts.

God, I fucking hate the holidays.

Location: earlier yesterday evening, looking at diamond rings
Mood: hopeful
Music: He’s been living in a pure illusion (Spotify)
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Déjà vu with burgers and lobsters

A business dinner

Me: I think I’ve been here before.
Him: You don’t remember being at a place called Burgers & Lobster?
Me: (pointing to wall) Well, I remember seeing lobster pots at a restaurant I went to, but that whole time was a blur.
Him: (laughing) I’m gonna say you’ve been here before.

The other investors of Paxibellum and I had our end-of-year dinner this week to go over where we were with the gym.

I screwed up the times so two of them were already at the bar when I showed up – it was raining and, despite it being just a few blocks from the gym and me with an umbrella, I showed up with my bottom half pretty wet.

Chad picked the joint, which is odd because that dude does not like seafood.

After I settled into the bar, I felt this huge sense of déjà vu. It was only when I saw the lobster pots on the wall that I realized that I’d gone there with Nadi and Kung.

Nadi about to devour some lobster, four years ago.

I had spent the night before with Gradgirl and she had brought over a bottle of vodka, which I recall I enjoyed.

Me: Have you ever had some fine aged rum?
Her: No, is it any good?
Me: It’s my favourite because if you take really bad rum, and put it on a ship…

I’d just met her and she was honestly just lovely.

We communicated via disappearing messages the entire time so I literally have nothing to remember her by except my own cloudy memories, which bums me out more than I can express.

I remember waking up the next morning and, like most of that time, not wanting to do anything but stay in bed with my bottles of rum/vodka. And her.

But I’d already told Nadi and Kung that I’d meet up with them. So, I remember crawling out of bed and getting ready to go.

I don’t recall if Gradgirl stayed or left that morning but I remember that she was the first person I actually wanted to spend any time with versus going out to put on a good show for my friends.

To be honest, there’s a good part of me that wonders if she was real at all. Nothing seems real before I recovered from COVID.

Maybe I made it all up.

In any case, it was strange walking into the same restaurant, this time with a completely new set of friends, save for Chad, whom I really didn’t know all that well at that time.

Haven’t talked to Nadi and Kung in a while; suppose I’ll ring them up this week. I think I cried twice sitting with them that morning. Don’t remember much of that time.

Except that so many people – friends, new friends, and strangers – were kind and worried about me.

I dunno if I truly thanked everyone for their kindness during that time.

Hope they know I appreciated it then, and still do now.

Getting back to now, Chad and the remaining investor showed up (another was away) not long afterward and we got seated.

As it happened, the investors and I literally sat in the same area that Nadi, Kung, and I sat at four years prior. Fuck…it’s been four years.

As for Gradgirl, I’ve not seen her in years but, in my head, she’s finally happy with her fella.

We should all be happy with our person.

There’s more but I’ll finish it up later on this week.

Location: earlier today, trying on some new gear at Paxi
Mood: drunk
Music: You’re better off this way, I was never gonna stay (Spotify)
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personal

Thanksgiving 2021

Yet another visit to a Medemerge

Chad and I’ve been dealing with some really crazy and creepy stalkers lately.

Honestly, considering what we do, we’re probably the best able to deal with such things but it’s still pretty horrific what we get sometimes.

I shudder to think what your average woman has to deal with out in the world.

Spent Thanksgiving with Alison’s family; her aunt and uncle came by to join the boy and me there.

Since he was the only kid there, my son was pretty restless but it all ended up fine. The assortment of desserts didn’t hurt.

Me: There’re cupcakes, pumpkin pie, apple pie, and strawberry rhubarb pie. Which one do you want?
Son: Pumpkin pie…WITH cupcakes.
Me: Well, it is Thanksgiving…
Him: What are you having?
Me: All the pies. I think pies are better than cake.
Her: You’re crazy!

I took the train home that night just to have some time to myself.

Part of the station was flooded; it seems like every place is flooding these days.

On Saturday, the gym had an open mat instead of regular classes but my wrist was still messed up so I ended up fixing some artwork we had installed a while ago but couldn’t get running right.

Speaking of pie, Mouse was there and brought a large apple pie to the gym. Afterward, several of us went to a local bar to get a drink and we brought the pie in tow.

Some old friends from our old gym were there and it was nice catching up. A fella was there from our old gym and I recalled when Pac and I went to his mom’s funeral and had dollar pizzas and tacos outside in the rain. I got our buddy a sandwich.

I think that day was the first time I talked to Pac outside of the gym.

Him: Thanks for coming that day.
Me: Of course. I’m sorry I had to.
Him: And I’m sorry for everything you had to go through too.
Me: You and me both, man.

The next day, I woke up and my wrist was just awful. This is despite not rolling.

My MIL brought my son back that morning and then my brother and his girl came by for lunch.

Because they were here, I decided to go get an xray of my wrist to finally start the process of seeing if I had to get an MRI and, finally, surgery if need be.

Me: Can you watch the kid for me? I might be up to an hour.
Brother: Sure.

So, I took a deep breath and went to the same medemerge that I always go to.

Ended up being there a lot longer than I expected but it was a mixture of good and bad news.

Doc: I don’t think it’s something that requires surgery but I’m not an orthopedist.
Me: So, you think I should get an MRI?
Her: It wouldn’t hurt.

They gave me my x-rays and I went back home. Afterwards, my bro and his girl went off to the Hudson Yards and the kid and I just had dinner together.

Pac, KG Betty, another female friend, and Chad all gave me a ring afterward for various reasons.

It was nice that people wanted to see how I’m doing.

But it looks like I’ll be heading to a hospital regardless if I want to or not.

Me: Why me?
Her: (pause) For some reason I trust you.
Me: You don’t even know me. (pause) I’m not good at hospitals for reasons I’d rather not get into.
Her: I don’t have anyone else.
Me: (sighing) OK, I’ll help.

On that note, there’s only Christmas and New Year’s left.

Location: the pad, making soba noodles for the kid for dinner
Mood: missing home
Music: Our house I’ll miss the most (Spotify)
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personal

So Boring

Dealing with the aftermath

It’s been a strange few weeks. On the one hand, I’ve been more social than I’ve been in ages. On the other hand, I forgot how sad being social can be.

To wit, I had three women cry with me recently. One was professional – and super strange – the other two were personal. It was all quite…sad and puzzling. I suppose I’ll sort that all out and tell you about it at some point.

If I manage to sort it all out.

I’m still dealing with the aftermath of the accident. I suppose I should get my noggin checked out because, while I do want to forget things, I’m shocked at how much I’m forgetting these days. Then again, I suppose some things I wanna forget.

On that note, I met up with a physical therapist. You see, the other day, my kali coach felt I was good enough to do some stickwork with my right hand and I though I was good enough to roll with people that weren’t on my safe list.

We were both wrong.

PT Steve: Your neck is essentially fused together at two vertebrae, and almost totally straight. Your wrist’s tendons are either totally snapped off or really stretched out. And your left shoulder is completely locked. You’re going to be pretty messed up when you’re in your forties.
Me: I’m 48! And I was just in a pretty bad accident.
Him: You’re 48?! In that case, you’re actually not that bad. But yeah, you need to stop doing what you’re doing at the gym for a while.

Goddammit.

Me: Are you sure you want to go to the Haunted House by yourself?
Him: It’s fine, papa. I’m not scared.

The boy’s been incredibly social too. I recall going to two birthday parties as a kid. This kid has an event every single week and it’s exhausting.

Case in point, just this past week, he had three play dates, two birthday parties, one fall event, two late night dinners out with my friends, and brekkie with Pez and Chad just today.

And this is him being chased around by a princess.

Man, I hope he doesn’t peak at grade school.

Speaking of peaking, this UFC fighting, movie-producing, partner at a large law firm named Titus came by the gym the other day and then came by my pad for some drinks.

We met years ago at Paul’s wedding. He’s not really on social media so he only just heard about Alison recently when he stopped by.

Him: It feels like yesterday.
Me: (nodding) Alison didn’t come [to the wedding] because she was pregnant. We lost that kid, anyway. We kept losing fucking kids and then she got cancer and died. It’s all fucking bullshit. Our entire life since the day [you and I] met has been a shitshow.

Me: …and that’s what happened.
Titus: Dude, I feel like crying myself.
Me: It’s weird. It’s like I look at that past version of me and I feel sorry for him and Alison. I don’t feel like me anymore. Maybe that’s a good thing. I gotta be ok for this kid.

Paul, his wife, and his kid stopped by afterward and we all ended up going to one of my favourite local joints for a super-late midweek dinner with the kiddo.

Like I said, super social.

Titus had never seen Scenic Fights either.

Him: This is great! I’m actually buddies with the choreographer of Captain American: Winter Solider and I worked with the guys that did John Wick and Nobody.
Me: (laughing) Show them our work but tell them that we’re not jerks.

We had another Scenic Fights shoot today today, hence the early brekkie with Chad and Pez. But I’ll tell you all about that tomorrow or something.

Son: (after another late night dinner with an unexpected guest) That was fun! So many people come to see us! Will we her again?
Me: Probably not.
Him: Awwwww, why? She was so nice and pretty.
Me: I just need you, kiddo. You and me.
Him: That’d be SO BORING!
Me: (laughing) Not for me, kid. Not for me.

Location: earlier in Brooklyn, being told to say it again
Mood: rough
Music: All I need is room for you (Spotify)
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