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What did you order now?

Powering our way through life

Five 5 Napkin Burgers UWS

Wife: What did you order now?
Me: Drill bits.
Wife: What are they for?
Me: What aren’t they for?!

Dropped off the wife at her parents over the weekend so I spent the day out in the burbs. Getting away from the city every once in a while is good.

Didn’t get a chance to see my mom for Mother’s Day because of her schedule and mine but I’m stopping by later on this week.

Meanwhile, got the place to myself for a spell and I’m also armed with a new set of power tools so I’ve got a short list of tasks that I want to work on.

The problem with these short home maintenance lists is that something often happens to make them longer.

But that’s pretty much how my life is in general.

Craftsman tools

Location: a conference room in midtown
Mood: sneezy
Music: Cause if it’s trouble that you’re looking for
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Logan’s Chinese Food, Gyro, and Chili Extravaganza

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

Hit and try-to-run-but-cannot-run-driver

Wife: You can’t have 19 Big Macs in a row!
Me: Technically, I could.

They’re having this deal where you get two burgers for one and I look for any excuse to stuff my fat face.

Which reminds me of a discussion I had regarding Jennifer 8. Lee’s book, The Fortune Cookie Chronicles, where she said that Chinese restaurants in America outnumber McDonalds, Burger Kings, and Wendy’s combined.

The thing is that there’s no one single large Chinese food chain, like Logan’s Chinese Food, Gyro, and Chili Extravaganza.

The reason why, I think, is because of the sheer number of items that a Chinese restaurant carries. There’re too many dishes, recipes, and ingredients in most restaurants to be consistently good at all of them.

This is versus McDonalds, which only has a few dozen different items – in fact, one guy just wrote about How to Hack a Big Mac from other dishes.

Relate it to my own life because I find so many things intellectually stimulating but I gotta force myself not to concentrate on the things I actually really care about.

Speaking of things I really care about: The wife is heading to her parents for a spell for a little break while I get some work done around the house. So we’re trying to cram in together time while we can.

In our own special fashion.

Her: (hugging me) I’m gonna miss that face…
Me: Aw, thanks…
Wife: …and your giant, giant, head.

Location: back to wrasslin in just a bit
Mood: sore
Music: Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
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Squinting through life

Excuses build monuments of nothing

Glass of Aged Rum
Gizmodo just wrote an article called, Why Squinting Helps You See Better.

There are a number of reasons why but the most basic is that it lets in less light so that you can focus on those items you are interested in.

Had a busy weekend with people I’ve not seen in years; saw my friend Claire for her birthday downtown, went to an improv class with Skinny, and missed a call from KG Betty.

Skinny and I grabbed a drink around the way after our class. Told him that I didn’t want to be the greatest improv player in the world but I did want to keep my ability to think quickly on my feet. The problem is that there’s always an excuse to everything.

But then you have to squint and refocus on the things you actually want keep to and the things you have to let go of.

Me: This fella once said that Excuses are tools of the incompetent, which create monuments of nothing. I felt like we were good at this, and then things just got in the way.
Him: That’s just what happens.

Location: home, waiting for workmen
Mood: ambitious
Music: it’s just too much – miles apart but close enough
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Naked cupcakes, peanut butter, ribs, and wings

When you’re 41, you can eat naked cupcakes and peanut butter out of the jar

Jar of peanut butter next to bed

Her: What are you having for breakfast?
Me: A naked cupcake.
Her: I knew this would happen after you got your results!

Went to the doc’s the other day for my annual checkup. Got a clean bill of health – cholesterol is less than 200, low blood sugar, low resting heart rate, etc – and this conversation:

Him: Do you eat fish every day?
Me: No. Maybe once a week, why?
Him: The last time I saw triglycerides this low, it was on a fisherman.
Me: Well, I do drink a lot of rum, so in that sense, I’m like a guy at sea.
Him: (laughing) I don’t think that’s it.

So I immediately went home and slow baked a dozen chicken wings and a rack of Alton Brown’s Who Loves Ya Baby-back Ribs. I shoulda taken a pic.

In a few more days, I’ll probably go back to eating a lot of beans and downing wheat-grass shakes but if I’m gonna be 41, I’m going to try and enjoy it as best I can.

Her: Is that a jar of peanut butter next to the bed?
Me: … No?

Location: in front of some more deadlines
Mood: pensive
Music: It’s so unright, it’s so unright, it’s a technical, accept it
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We handle life as we do bad weather

Someday we’ll know

Sunset at sea

Her: I don’t think of you as 41…
Me: Thanks, that really…
Her: …mainly because you act so immature.

For my birthday last week, Paul and his fiancee took me and the wife out for sushi around the way; they recounted their first date with us, which I’d not heard before. The funny thing about first dates is that you never know if that first date will lead to something more or less in the future.

Speaking of the future, been thinking about it more and more these days as I (slowly) accept that I’m 41. I’m nine years away from 50. I’m solidly middle-aged. And, when I fill out forms, I’m in a totally new age bracket.

But, it’s better than the alternative.

This Austrian named Alfred Polgar once said, “Too often man handles life as he does the bad weather. He whiles away the time as he waits for it to stop.”

So I try make these moments worth something, if only to myself.

Suppose someday we’ll know if it was worth something to anyone else.

Location: the middle of my life
Mood: pensive
Music: bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
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Staten Island, Ferries, Pigeons, and Horse heads.

My home’s a strange town, but it’s home

Relaxing on a summer day in Central Park
Went to Staten Island to meet up with a client. Was the first time on the ferry since the turn of the century.

As I left the terminal, a pigeon was on his way in.
Pigeon in St. George Ferry Terminal in Staten Island

Stopped to snap some pics of artwork.

Painted egg artwork in George Ferry Terminal in Staten Island

It’s peaceful there. Whenever people talk about New York City, they usually just mean Manhattan.

But New York City isn’t just Manhattan, it’s also The Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island.

Heading back into Manhattan from Staten Island on the ferry

Headed back in to Manhattan and finished up the work week.

Over the weekend, the wife and I went to Central Park where we saw a woman in a suit wearing heels and a horse head while playing an accordion.

Her: Is that a woman in a suit wearing heels and a horse head while playing an accordion?
Me: I think so.
Her: Well, that’s something new.

A woman in Central Park wearing a suit, heels and a horsehead playing the guitar.

Location: home
Mood: good
Music: I’d go black and blue, I’d go crawling down the avenue.
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The disappearing watercooler

Emerging from winter

Sushi on the UWS
The weather’s been slowly getting better so I’ve been emerging from my winter shell.

Met up some college buddies for sushi around the way the other day and, yesterday night, headed over to my local tailor with my buddy Paul to get some clothes fixed.

Regrettably stopped off at Grey’s Papaya after dinner to get a dessert of two hot dogs.

Her: TWO hot dogs? After you had a dinner of ribs and potatoes?
Me: I’m not proud.

Rum on the UWS
The post I wrote about the HIMYM finale seems to have struck a chord with people because I received several emails and a few mentions by others in social media.

It’s interesting because an opinion just came out in the NYTimes where the author notes that the water cooler is disappearing, both literally and figuratively.

It’s disappearing on the figurative front because there are just so many shows to watch and we all have such divergent interests.

So to find something that so many of us can actually discuss is rare.

On that note, I’m finding that more and more people are reading this blog, but less and less are leaving comments here – when you do comment, it’s either to an email to me, a comment on FB or somewhere else, or no comment at all.

I miss the old LiveJournal account mainly for that reason; because people were such active commenters there.

Leave a comment below from time-to-time!

Location: Staten Island
Mood: rested
Music: all right, I got no time for private consultation
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Caught a fight between two middle-aged men

The body should serve the mind

Men at Work Sign
My AMA on Reddit went pretty well.

There were some good questions and interest in The Men Made of Stone; if you’re curious about some of the backstory behind the rise and fall of organized crime between 1980 and 1993, you can check the AMA for details.

Speaking of writing, I’m working on a a quick little thing about online dating profiles that I’ll probably either just give away or sell inexpensively.

Been fitting in a few lines here and there between work; hopefully, I can finish it up this week.

About 11 years ago, this relatively unknown fighter named Eddie Bravo fought one of the most well-respected fighters on the planet named Royler Gracie and won. Many people thought it was a fluke.

After all this time, a rematch was arranged over the weekend between the two so I went in the rain to my gym on Saturday night after fencing class to watch it with my coach.

The interesting thing about these two fighters is that one is 43 and the other 48. Don’t think there’s ever been so much excitement over two very middle-aged men fighting.

And yet, they aren’t what one would think of when one thinks of a typical 43 year-old and 48 year-old. Probably because they don’t more or act like most others.

The body always says, “Quit” before the mind does.

Because – for most people – the mind is subservient to the body, when the body quits, the mind quickly follows.

But there are those for whom the body serves the mind. The body only quits when the mind allows it. Like these two men.

If being a fat kid ever taught me anything, it’s that that is the way it should be: The body should serve the mind. For as long as possible, I’d like to be that way.

On that note, I’m going to be 41 next month. I can’t really believe it.

Wife: You should just tell everyone you’re 37. People would believe that.
Me: That’s not a bad idea.

Location: before my tax papers
Mood: focused
Music: Don’t stop, no, I’ll never give up
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Some…ok one…foods never expire

Expiration dates results in tons of wasted food


There’s one food that never expires. What is it?

———-

Went out to see the rents yesterday because I was in their area and stayed for dinner.

Suppose it’s a by-product of growing up poor but there’s very little I won’t eat. Probably also a cultural thing; the Chinese have a history of mass starvation so we’ve never been really picky with food – that’s a picture I took walking around downtown of a Chinese restaurant called Taco Tortillas King that sells both Mexican and Chinese food. Sounds like my kinda joint.

In any case, with the exception of about one nasty bout of food poisoning every decade or so, it’s never really been an issue.

The thing is that since I’ve gotten married, I’ve been more conscious of what might be considered less-than-entirely safe food safety standards.

Wife: Are you going to eat that?
Me: Sure, why not?
Her: It expired two years ago.
Me: I’m sure it’s fine.

But the reality is that most food expiration dates only results in us wasting tons (literally) of food.

I came across an article that noted that honey never expires – in fact, they found jars of honey thousands of years old that were still edible. It’s the only food that is ready to eat when you find it, whenever you find it; dried rice also lasts forever but you have to cook it first to make it edible.

I’m fairly certain that this can of emergency chili I recently found is still good, despite the 2012 expiration date. An article that just came out today says that I can still eat it.

What’s the worst that could happen?

RedditJust FYI, for next week’s Reddit Ask Me Anything, I’ll be dropping the prices for both The Men Made of Stone and A Great First Date on Monday so pick up a copy!

Location: last night, kitchen making more chili
Mood: good
Music: Wheels are turning in the bed you make
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It’s the Ides of March again (and again)

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose


My brother’s in town again so he stayed over the other night.

For over 15 years, he’s been reading Will Durant’s The Story of Civilization – he’s finally on the very last volume of the series (11). The author spent his entire adult life writing the series from 1935 to 1975; he died in 1981.

We both like history because it’s fascinating just how much it repeats itself. You could take the news about the latest scandal on cheating, double-dealing, and influence from the Roman Senate and change it to the DC Senate and no one would notice.

We’re such predictable creatures. There are the occasional surprises, though.

Right about now are the Ides of March so it was 2,058 years ago that Brutus killed Caesar.

Roman historians like Plutarch commonly note that most people – including Brutus himself – thought that Caesar was Brutus’ father.

So Brutus wasn’t just killing a politician, he was killing his father. It makes Caesar’s last words all the more pitiful, “Even you, Brutus?”

Was pretty young when I learned this and found it completely unbelievable that something as mundane as politics would drive someone to kill his own father.

But just recently an article called I lost my dad to Fox News, which talks about how politics split a father and son. It’s not really so unbelievable now.

As for me, I’m reading about the 1683 Battle of Vienna and the struggle between Muslims and the west.

There’s this French saying that goes, Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose – the more things change, the more things stay the same.

There’s something comically  tragic about that.

Me: What are you going to read after you’re finally done with the series?
Brother: I have no idea.

RedditOn a different point entirely, next Thursday, I’m doing a Reddit Ask Me Anything on the first book I wrote about gangs in the 1990s, The Men Made of Stone.

If you’re a Reddit user and/or have read the book, stop on by here and support!

Location: last night, kitchen making more chili
Mood: good
Music: Wheels are turning in the bed you make
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