Categories
personal

Hospitals

Fear is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday

Logan Lo at the hospital - again
Her: Thanks for staying.
Me: (laughing) Where else was I going to go?

 

Not sure one could say I’ve bad luck – got a roof over my head, running water and all my family and body parts. Can’t really say I’ve good luck either.

Suppose you might call what I’ve got peculiar luck.

The kind where you spend a dollar to win a dollar.

Bout two weeks ago, found out that there was about a week’s gap between my old heath insurance and my new one. Joked to my boss that I’d try to stay outta the emergency room.

Next morning, bright and early, hear a slam and “Oh no.” Turns out HG smashed her fingers in the metal door. Blood everywhere. Everywhere. Next thing you know, in the emergency room. For hours.

Been to the emergency room four times in the past five years. But was fine each time.

Kinda the story of my life, yeah?

This chick named Renata Adler said that, Fear is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday.

Try to tell myself to hold on until storms pass, wait for the joy. In the meanwhile, insurance’s back.

Off to fencing. People swinging sharp metal objects around.

What could go wrong?

———-

Met up with the fellas last night for beer and $0.10 wings. 60 wings for $6. Gotta love NYC.

On the way back, helped this pretty German tourist get to Columbus Circle.

NYC’s quite the town.

Location: not the hospital
Mood: still fulla wings
Music: Schön ist es auf der Welt zu sein

Categories
personal

Integrity

Location: in fronta screens
Mood: determined
Music: found myself there, in a bit of hot spot

Gated Apartment downtown NYC

Said once that integrity means that you’re the same person in public as y’are in private.

Suppose that’s why I’m a little disappointed in the ADL, a group that’s for religious freedom – except for Muslims.

The pointa my story about the racist judge that ruled against an anti-Chinese law was that, to his credit, he’d enough integrity to see that ruling otherwise based upon his own personal feelings was wrong.

Currently, there is a woman running for a position in my organization whom I dislike because of her constant ad hominem attacks.

Voting against her. This’s a big deal cause we’re a small organization and my vote really counts.

She’ll surely gonna think that it’s causesa my personal feelings, but the fact’s that she cannot do the job – it involves attention to detail and that trait she doesn’t possess.

My weariness of dealing with her makes me wanna just let her win but my integrity won’t.

Gonna be quite the fight. Luckily, got a strong belief I’m right and a fairly large bottle of antacid.

One or the other should carry me through.

YASYCTAI: If you’re all talk, you’re just an empty box like a radio or TV. Don’t be all talk. (5 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Tragedies fulla joy

The Empire State Building

 

There really isn’t a happily ever after, you know? Children believe that. Adults believe what this fella Bernard Malamud said – that Life is a tragedy full of joy.

You hold on past the tragedy for the next wave of joy. And be grateful for the joy.

———-

Speaking of children, do you remember the old Aesop’s fable about the mouse and the lion?

Today’s Mother Teresa’s bday. A few months back here in NYC, there was a controversy cause the owners of the Empire State Building refused to light their building blue and white for her birthday, which made some of the local government – the city council – upset.

After all, they did change the colours for the Simpsons and Popeye, why not a woman who gave her life helping the less lucky, yeah?

Fast forward to this week when the owners needed help from – you guessed it – the city council to block a new rival building from competing with it two blocks away. The vote was 47-to-1 allowing the building to go up.

See what happens when you don’t pay attention in grade school?

Location: yesterday, the hospital (long story)
Mood: creative
Music: i’ll wear your colors til you come back home to me

Categories
personal

Yes? Yes.

(no, there’s no sound)

Me: Hi there.
Her: (looking through camera) I got you.
Me: (laughing) Alright. Point it down.
Her: I have your entire head in the frame.
Me: OK
Her: (four seconds later) OH! (laughs)
Me: Yes?
Her: Yes.

Location: 15 mins ago, having drinks@28th and Park
Mood: content
Music: Don’t you understand? I already have a plan
YASYCTAI: Consider stopping this blog. We’re home, after all. (60 mins/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Stalker

 

Woman in NYC Apartment

Me: The answer’s that you’re not a stalker.
Him: What?
Me: OK, she told you it’s over, yeah? So you talked to this other girl. The issue’s that she said, It’s over. Then she came back and’s all pissed that you went on with your life.

When a girl says, No, y’gotta assume she means, No. After all, “No” means “No” is the anti-rape and anti-stalker saying.

And I believe that; it took me a while, but I totally believe that. If a girl says, Leave me alone. Guess what, y’gotta leave her alone.

But it cuts both way – she can’t use that logic as a sword and a shield.

She can’t say to you, Y’should have known I might come back.

Cause isn’t that what a stalker says? (She said “leave me alone,” but really she meant “try harder.”)

Isn’t that what a rapist says? (She said “stop,” but the way she was dressed, she really meant, “I want you.”)

The safest thing in the world to do, is to believe what the words that come outta her mouth. If a woman tells you to bounce, you grab your shoes, say thanks for the lovely night, and bounce.

Cause y’can’t read her mind. And y’can’t read her mind cause you’re not a stalker.

Him: Gotcha.

 

Location: heading up to the Bronx then down to Brooklyn
Mood: hot!
Music: you know me well but I don’t know you at all

Categories
personal

What we do

Location: 9AM, getting choked on 27th
Mood: Certain
Music: there’s no cover for you, no prize when you’ve won

Less a political post, more a legal one regarding the mosque at ground zero here in NYC.

They have the legal right to have a build one there. People may not like it, but that’s the law and religious tolerance is what the country was built on – New York in particular.

Pardon the poor sound, super busy today…
YASYCTAI: Think about what it is we actually do. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Rivers

Location: back at my pad
Mood: pensive
Music: washed up for years And I merely survive because of my pride

The Hoboken Pier from the W Hotel

Me: What do guys say to you that you hate most?
Her: That’s easy: A pretty girl like you should smile. Swear, another guy says that when I’m trying to catch the train, I’m going to deck them.

Had quite the weekend. Still sorting out details but it’s a doozy. Spent it at the W Hotel in Hoboken, cause it’s nice to get away from the basecamp on occasion, even if it’s just across a river.

Went across another river yesterday to see the rents in Queens yesterday. Ate at an all-you-can-eat buffet, which, for a secret fatty like meself, is just this side of awesome. Spent mosta the day yesterday trying not to crawl under my desk and take a nap.

Lotsa birthdays this week; went to my buddy Kung’s, which was a lot more sedate than two years ago.

My bro turns 39 this week. I turned 37 earlier this year, which made me think that he had to go through his first two years without me.

He musta been so bored those first two years.

Random thoughts; random day. We’ve got many rivers to cross.

YASYCTAI: Go through that pilea papers. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Anniversary II

I thought she was too tough to ever go away

Clock on 73rd and Broadway

This conversation happened around 1982.

Me: Is it dead?
Her: (taking cigarette out) Nah. (exhaling smoke and looking up) I think it just fell outta it’s nest.
Me: We have to help it, we have to get it back!
Her: Fine, fine. Hold on. (leaning over to pick up the robin in one hand and with her cigarette in the other, climbs up tree, deposits bird, climbs back down) There – y’happy?
Me: (beaming) Yes, grandma.
Her: (smiling then putting cigarette back in mouth) Good. Cm’on kid, your mom’s waiting.

We all thought y’were too tough to ever go away.

It’s raining here, which sounds about right

Location: my hot room
Mood: only ok
Music: And rain will make the flowers grow

Categories
dating personal

Something better than average

Location: back at my desk
Mood: thirsty
Music: we’ve got the movement that bends us to break

Snow on the 72nd Street Pier in NYC

Her: It’s too hot to grill. It’s too hot to do anything.
Me: (panting) In fact it’s so hot that all we can do is sit here and talk about how hot it is.

Severala my friends find themselves newly single at this point, which explains all of the dating related entries again these days. It’s like old times.

Him: My date last night said she doesn’t want a guy that treats dating like an occupation.
Me: That makes zero sense to me. Think about how much work y’put into a getting a good job. Meeting someone that you love should deserves at least that much dedication and care.
Him: Where’s the romance in that?
Me: What’s more romantic: Telling someone that y’love her because she had the locker next to yours in high school or telling someone that you’ve met the world and she’s the best thing in it? Telling someone you’ve set her apart. Romantic is: I will bust my ass to make this work cause you’re my favourite.
Him: She’s just looking for someone who dates…normal.
Me: Normal means average. Average means just like everyone else. Normal here means that most marriages end in divorce 66% of the time, dude. Even if she wants average, y’should want something more for yourself. Be honest with yourself and her – tell her the truth.
Him: And what’s the truth?
Me: That you’re looking for someone, something more. Something y’can’t put inna words.

Y’should want something more than the reality that, if you get married, chances are over 2-to-1 that you’ll also get a side of divorce to go with your fancy wedding.

Goodness, people, y’should want something more than just average.

———-

For anyone taking the bar exam, you’re probably already sitting and writing like mad. But good luck anywho.

YASYCTAI: Treat it at least as importantly as you would your occupation. (1 minute/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Disappointment

It’s really the disappointment that wears you down

Sitting on a street curb in NYC

 

Me: You don’t care at all about that? It’s part of what makes a woman attractive.
Him: (laughing) Some like the attic, some like the basement. I’m a basement man, you’re an attic man.
Me: Well, that’s certainly a colourful way of putting it.
Him: (sighing) I still love her, y’know. Even though she’s evil.
Me: She’s pure evil. (patting him on shoulder) But I know. It’ll get better.

Take a lot of classes. Classes for wrasslin, fencing, law, etc.

Was talking to one of my instructors the other day, who’s been doing his thing for 20 years. We’ve known each other maybe seven/eight years. Told me outta the blue that he’s gonna be calling it quits soon.

This surprised me.

Me: Why?
Him: I can’t take the disappointment any more.
Me: (confused) The disappointment of your students quitting? Or the disappointment of them not practicing? Or of them not caring?
Him: (nodding) Yes.

It’s sad but true. My friends don’t wanna date cause it’s really the disappointment that gets you. Others have stopped looking for work. Still others have stopped trying to take those chances.

It’s bound to happen some time. He’s in his late 50s so maybe it’s time.

Still, it kept me up the other night. Something about teachers requires that they hope that someone listens, someone cares – no matter how many times they’re disappointed. It’s a hard and often thankless job.

So, climbed outta bed and practiced quietly in the dark. 1, 2, 3…

Location: in the back room
Mood: pensive
Music: It’s too late – much too late, too late for the young gun
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