Me: Hey, it’s Restaurant Week again. Her: We should go out…oh, wait, that should be our thing!
Last week was pretty roasting so this week is a welcome respite from the heat.
Having said that, it was the last week we had without our kids so we went out to eat at Iris Restaurant in midtown.
The cuisine was Mediterranean, which is amongst my faves.
Pretty much everything was killer.
Afterward, we ended up walking home and stopping by The Shops at Columbus Circle, particularly Williams-Sonoma.
Me: I like looking at all the stuff I can’t afford, and can’t fit into my tiny apartment. Her: But it’s still nice to look. (later) Hey – F for Firecracker!
The boy came back not soon afterward, as did her son.
It’s nice to have a bit of time off from being parents but we both missed our kids a lot.
I think the boy’s starting to realize that the effects of a vacation are quickly forgotten once you return to your real life.
Him: Wait, when did I come back from grandma’s? Me: (puzzled) What? You came back yesterday. Him: (incredulous) I did?! It feels like so long ago. Me: (laughing) You’re not gonna enjoy working 40-60 hours a week. Him: 40-60 HOURS?! Me: (laughing more)
Location: Staples in the UWS, recycling lithium batteries
Mood: beat
Music: Was it all that easy? (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
It was the ABFF’s birthday the other day so I invited her and the Firecracker to a local dive bar because I’m classy like that.
It started off normal enough, with just some burgers, chips, and guac…
…and some boardgames.
Things started to go sideways – at least for me – when I got the table some jello shots.
Her: Oh man, I can’t remember the last time I had one of these. Me: I think it was around the turn of the century for me.
Again, I’m nuthin if not classy.
And the waiter comped us some really gross fireball shots.
That’s when the carbs started happening.
Something about greasy carbs when I’m drinking makes me feel particularly gross and this was no exception.
I didn’t last too much longer after that.
While we did stay out for some four hours, the Firecracker was happy that we got home at a reasonable hour – although, based on our conversations, we probably shoulda ended earlier.
Firecracker: That’s one good thing about your being so old, we have early nights. Me: Who are you calling old?! Her: You, old man. (later) Look, if you want your anchor in my away, you’re gonna have to make sure my boat is floating. Me: What does that even mean?! Her: See, you’re old.
Location: home, surrounded by the kid and his friend, who kept tripping on stuff
Mood: still hungry after four tacos, two turkey sandwiches, three oranges, and a baga chips. I want more.
Music: joy up on my face. Oh, sunshine in an empty place (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Last Thursday was hot and steamy in the city. If I had the option, I woulda stayed home all day.
But I didn’t have that option because my buddy Hen Z – who’s a Paxibellum student of both kali and BJJ – invited me to come to the premier of a short video about a group that he started, called the:
“Dragon Combat Club, a grassroots self-defense organization formed in the wake of brutal anti-Asian attacks. The film they made explores community solidarity, self-expression, and the fundamental right to be safe.”
So, at 7PM last week, made my way down to 87 Lafayette St, which actually turned out to be an abandoned Fire Station, number 31.
There, I ran into my buddies Katrina and Prin – both of whom take kali and BJJ at Paxibellum as well.
It was weird, I felt like a mini-celebrity because I met so many people that knew me from Scenic Fights.
Him: Hi! Are you…? Me: (holding out hand) Logan, nice to meet you. Him: I’ve seen all your videos!
Which makes sense because Scenic Fights and I were part of the germination of the concept of using weapons for self-defense.
I’d been watching Hen and his group grow from an idea to its current status as a community-based organization and I’m glad he’s doing it to try and be a positive influence for the Asian-American community.
The video itself was pretty cool, and relatively short – I’ve linked to it below and think it’s worth the 10 minutes that it runs.
For some reason, though, the organizers cut the fans for a solid 15 minutes or so in the beginning and the air conditioners weren’t doing much at all.
I was melting during that time and couldn’t really cool down much, even after they turned the fans back on.
Still, it was a good experience and one I’m glad to have been a part of, however ancillarily.
Speaking of Scenic Fights, this is a wild thing to wrap my head around, but it turns out that, just on YouTube, we’ve had over 101 million – 101 MILLION– views.
That’s full-on nuts.
Then again, I really do believe what I wrote below in my IG account:
Location: home, trying to hook up an eGPU via thunderbolt and a G29 steering wheel via that to a NUC for the boy
Mood: exhausted but fulla tacos
Music: woke up knowing where I am, if just a little bit (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
First mentioned RE Mike to you some 15 years ago, where he floated me and my buddy Sheridan into a private party with James Lipton, Richard Kind, David Zaikin, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.
This is from the really weird party we went to in 2019.
He even set up one of the wedding parties that Alison and I had, and the only one in Manhattan, at a joint he owned.
He and my friends around the way were some of the first people I saw after everything went down.
I shoulda had a donut from the donut wall that night.
I’m honestly not sure why he’s always so nice to me, but – heck – who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
Everyone should have a RE Mike in their lives.
RE Mike: [Sent you an invite to the Britney Spears musical.] Me: Thanks! When are you going? Him: Went last week enjoy! It’s silly but fun. Me: Cooooooool, thanks!
The Firecracker and I were trying to figure out what to do last weekend when he got us two tickets to a new show with Britney Spears songs called Once Upon a One More Time.
Honestly, while I liked a few songs from her – like Work Bitch, which, before everything went down, coulda been my theme song – I wouldn’t really call myself a fan of hers.
Having said that, The Firecracker loves musicals so I figured I’d take one for the team and go with her.
But, I gotta admit, it was a lot more fun than I was expecting, and the story wasn’t bad at all.
I’d never been to the Marquis Theatre, which is in the New York Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square.
The layout was a bit odd as you walk downstairs and immediately are facing the concession/bar area. Weird/bad feng shui.
Her: Do you want a drink? Me: I’ll just have some of yours. Her: Why don’t I just get you one? Me: Because I’ll just keep running to the bathroom.
Outside, there were a buncha booths where people to take selfies with some of the songs as themes.
The Firecracker had a blast and it was fun doing something completely different for a change. If you get a chance to go, you should.
Afterward, we took a long walk-up Broadway, about two miles north to my pad.
I’ll tell you about that in my next post.
Until then, below is the encore from the show, which they were cool enough to let us record.
Location: the gym, for the first time in a while
Mood: missing the kid like crazy
Music: You want a Maserati? You better work (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Me: The problem is that you’re homeless and a stranger in a strange land. You’re not valued by him and never will be. But your friends and family are here. Her: I can’t afford to live in NYC any more, Logan. I don’t have a job and I’m not 20 anymore. Me: Plenty of people – your parents and mine – came here with less and spoke even shittier English than you… Her: (laughs) Me: …they all survived. They all thrived. It’s time.
A dear friend of mine, who moved away to be with the man of her dreams suddenly found herself in a nightmare.
She gave up everything – her home, her friends, her family, and her job, to be with this fella.
That’s her story to tell so I’ll end that part here.
But I told her things that I never told anyone.
Never told you either.
Because I not only lost both my families in 2017, but I also lost my career.
Never told you, but when I lectured in Malaga, over a decade ago, my topic was the right of publicity versus the right of privacy.
With the rise of computational power, we’re rapidly coming to a point where we don’t need an actual actor or singer but merely their likeness to create art. And that will open up a whole new world of possibilities, both for good and bad. – Logan
Watched one lawyer talk about it, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry and jealous – because the focus of my entire practice was going to be about the intersection of the rights of publicity and privacy.
I knew a decade ago that this current AI crisis was coming and I wanted to be at the forefront of it all.
Her: Holy shit, you were ahead of the curve, Logan! Me: Yeah, by over a decade. I’m gonna be honest with you, I threw myself a pity party last week thinking that coulda been me.
That fucking cancer took almost everything from Alison and me.
12 years of work, poof. Gone.
I’m still a lawyer but I’m not…that lawyer anymore.
I secretly used pictures of Alison throughout my lecture.
After all, that’s what Alison did. Felt I had to respect her sacrifices and do the same.
I just said that the fucking cancer took almost everything.
Almost because I still had the boy.
Somehow, through all my chemicals and madness, I sobered up enough to remember him and how much he meant to Alison, and me.
Knew I had to make a home for him with me, however incomplete and inelegant that was.
That kid saved me and, together, we made this sad place – which was full of some seriously unspeakable and fucked-up things – a happy(ish) home for both of us.
And I told my friend all this just to let her know that it’s possible.
Me: I’m not making light of your situation. It’s gonna be shitty and hard. But I just want you to know that you can survive this. You can survive this blow. Because, somehow, I did. Her: (silence then laughing) I can’t believe I’m saying this but you’re making a lotta sense. Me: (laughing) I’m as surprised as you are. (pause) Listen, X, it’s done. That place isn’t your home, not anymore. But here, you matter to a lotta people. Me included. Her: (sighing) OK, Logan. Lemme think about it. Me: Do that. It’s time to come home.
Her: I’ve been here all this time and I’ve never seen the fireworks. Me: Well, it’s not my thing but I’m sure we can figure something out. Her: Fireworks for the Firecracker – we’ve gotta do it, Lo!
My cousin, Ras, just moved in LIC and had an outdoor space so the Firecracker and I were supposed to head there after dinner but Ras cancelled last minute.
But it was fine, we were in LIC anywho so just scouted around for a place to watch the fireworks.
For those of you not in NYC, Long Island City in Queens and Midtown East in Manhattan are the two best places to catch the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks because they’re held on the east side.
As a native New Yorker, I’ve spent my life trying to avoid going to these things but the Firecracker’s not originally from around here, so I figured I’d take her.
First, we went to a tiny, tiny, tiny, restaurant called Carla.
Afterward, we walked around looking for a spot to catch the fireworks.
We walked for a looooooong time.
Because not every place was suitable.
Her: No, Logan Lo. Me: Now, hear me out…
We did not go there.
We did, however, do our civic duty and killed a lanternfly nymph that we saw – first one for 2023.
We ended up walking past the gym I’d gone to while the lockdown was in place.
The streets were already insanely crowded and the Firecracker was getting a headache, so we just popped into a Thai restaurant and ordered a few drinks as well as more food.
The Firecracker’s kid and my kid were away, plus she was in the middle of moving, so I ended up helping her schlepp her stuff here and there.
Her: We have to bring this TV to my new place so I can give it away. Me: What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s gonna rain soon. Just slap a sign on it that it’s a free TV and someone’ll take it. Her: Are you sure? I’d hate for it to end up in a landfill. Me: Trust me.
It was gone in a few hours.
After a full day of that and a million other errands, we decided to treat ourselves afterwards to a drink at a local bar.
We got some appetizers…
…and drinks.
But the night seemed super early yet.
Me: Do you wanna go someplace else? Her: With you? Sure!
Her: Who wrote Robinson Crusoe? Me: Daniel Defoe. Hey, did you know that it was based on a real person named Alexander Selkirk? Just before he died, he dreamt of being back on his island. Her: You know a lotta useless information, Lo. Me: We’re using it right now!
Of course, I ended up spilling hot sauce all over the cards.
Her: LOGAN! I can’t bring you anywhere. Me: (sighing) Evidently not. I’ll get some paper.
After several drinks and food, we walked outta the bar.
Me: I want more food. Her: We can get some chicken sandwiches and a pina colada over at Tiki Chick. Me: Sold!
While the Firecracker went to the restroom, I chatted with the manager.
Me: Where in Africa are you from? Him: Sengal. Me: Oh. I loved a girl once that worked in Dakar. Him: Really? That’s so great. Was that her? Me: (shaking head) No. No, that’s my girlfriend. The girl from Dakar was…someone else. She…got sick. Him: Oh. (gently) Your girlfriend is very pretty. Me: (nodding) I think so too. Thanks.
Location: earlier tonight, walking all over LIC so the Firecracker could see the fireworks for the first time.
Mood: full and tired
Music: Come along, baby, we better make a start (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Never realized just how true that statement was until I became a dad.
Seeing the kid every day, I don’t really notice how much he’s grown, day-by-day, but looking at pictures, I’m shocked how much he’s changed.
The fella that wrote The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe said something similar: Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different?
It’s so true.
Everything, and everyone, is so different now.
The kid finished school today.
It seems like we just started and it’s summer vacation already.
I (barely) remember taking him to preschool when he was just 18-months old and I gave him a rum-carrier as a bookbag.
Now, he’s a full-fledged kid with opinions – lots of them.
Me: How on earth do you not like 紅豆湯, kid? I loved that growing up. Him: People like different things, papa.
Alison loved this kid so much the short time she was here with him. She woulda loved him to the moon and back if she could see him now.
As I do.
Met up with some a group of fathers from the school for some beer and tacos the other day.
I really only talked to two of them, but a solid eight people showed up. It was interesting finding out about their lives.
Me: You’re a lawyer? My condolences. (laughing) I’m one as well. Him: What do you do? Me: Drink, mostly. When I’m not raising the kid.
I could only stay out for about 90 minutes before I had to pick the kid up from a birthday party he was attending.
Still, it’s one of those things I think I’ll do again.
Thought of it again when I told the kid that he was done with school and that he was starting a whole new grade next year.
Him: Can you believe it?! Me: (laughing) Not really, kid. Not really.
He loves this shirt and wears it *waaaay* too often – no idea why.
Suppose I’ll always think of him as a little boy, even when he’s not one any more.
Like I said in my last entry, I think I understand my dad now more than I ever have before.
After all, all men are little boys to the parents that love them.
Imaginary Tea
I love you more than you will ever know
I love you no matter what you do
I’m gonna hold you as long as you will let me
‘Cause you’re mine, I love you
I loved you before I heard ever heard your voice
Before I even knew your name
I loved you before I saw those pretty eyes
I loved you right away
So, take it slow
Before you know it, you’ll be old and grown
Just remember that I’m always here
Hands you can hold on to
I love you
Don’t worry what anybody else will say
Don’t hurry to break that precious heart
When you try to be like somebody else
Remember I love you the way you are
So, take it slow
Before you know it, you’re gonna be old and grown
Just remember that I’m always here
Hands you can hold on to
And I love you
So, let’s climb every tree
And drink imaginary tea
And speak a language only we can understand
And I will fight back the tears
As we fly through the years
And I’ll keep you as close as I can
I love you more than you will ever know
I love you no matter what you do
And I’m gonna hold you as long as you will let me
‘Cause you’re mine, I love you
The Firecracker was busy for most of the following day but we met up for a walk to the pier near my pad when she was free.
There was a salsa party going on so we had to fight our way through that to make it to the edge of the pier, but it was worth it.
Me: What are you thinking? Her: These are the times where I think, I can’t believe that I live here.
This fella named Richard Ford once said, The more we see our parents fully, see them as the world does, the better our chances to see the world as it is.
The boy just got his first red stripe in BJJ, which is kinda a big deal – certainly to him, if nuthin else.
Him: LOOK, LOOK! (shows me) Are you proud of me? Me: Of course. But that’s not as important as if you’re proud of yourself. Are you proud of yourself? Him: (beaming) Yes! Me: That’s the most important thing, kid. Do things that make yourself proud of yourself, not me or anyone else.
I mean, my mom’s still around and she and I talk about these things but I wonder what my dad was thinking when I was the kid’s age and doing similar things.
Realize all the times that my dad was right – and wrong – about things. I so wish he was here to talk about it all.
If he was, I wish I could tell him that I understand now, so much more about him than I ever did.
Wish I could tell him that I loved him, still do, and always will.
I wonder if he’d be proud of me. Then again, I think I did the best I could with everything I was given.
In that sense, then, I’m proud of myself.
Still, I wish he was here.
Although, truthfully, I always wish the people I loved were here with me.
Him: You looked like this again (makes face). Were you thinking of mommy again? Me: (smiling, shaking head) I always think of her, but at that moment, I was thinking of my papa. Him: (hugs me) I’m sorry, daddy. Me: Thanks, kid. You’re my faves. Him: YOU’RE MY FAVES! Me: (laughing, hoping that I’ll stay in his top 10 forever)
Location: getting a second free soda at a street party because the person wanted a pic of me
Mood: hollowed
Music: how I wish you were here (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
