My life on repeat

The time I rode a mechanical bull

Probably not the best thing when you still have whiplash.

Had a lot on my mind this weekend so my friends dragged me out. It was a hella weird weekend.

Paul and I went to a total of five parties, all of which were vastly different than expected. I really needed a distraction. So Paul paid $10 to have me go onto a mechanical bull. Quick but fun.

Did I ever tell you that Berlingirl was here studying dance?

Here’s the thing: In the last party of the night, for the grey-eyed girl, I met yet another German girl studying dance here in the big city except she was from Köln.

What’re the chances?

I spent the rest of the night chatting with her and the grey-eyed girl until 3AM or so. And then we were gone.

Can’t tell you how many times these days that I daydream of running away somewhere.

Then the 2 train comes and brings me someplace I don’t really want to be but gotta.

———-

I’m at my parents place and my dad is singing to himself. It’s midnight. How cute is that?

Location: 21:15 yest, leaving office
Mood: exhausted
Music: Digging deep for clues on higher ground

Happy Halloween

And so and now Somena

Went to a Halloween party I went to with Cain last Wednesday. Had to carry him home. So he had a great time.

Don’t know about you, but when I like a song, I listen to it a million times. Then, whenever I hear that song again, I think about that period in my life.

I listened to The National singing, And so and now I’m sorry I missed you – I had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain all the time during the fall of last year. I remember I kept thinking of my ex. I almost never think of her any more. Weird how that works.

I met my very good friend Somena a year ago on Halloween. She was a librarian. Who says you can’t have meaningful relationships from people you meet in bars? She liked to listen to Secret Meeting and pretend she was a spy.

I’d never tell her but, late at night, on those long walks home, I do the same thing.

Like I said, Venn Diagrams…

Location: 15:30-20:24, locked outta my #$#$@#$! apartment
Mood: just plain irritated
Music: Didn’t anybody tell you how to gracefully disappear in a room?

No Chance

 

I’m at my parents and my father’s playing a sad song on the harmonica. He’s never had a lesson in the piano or the harmonica in his life.

But he can sit down in front of either and just break your heart.

Went with Cain, Paul, and Paul’s roomie to a costume party on Saturday. I was gonna go as Kato but I couldn’t find a hat.

Him: Just wear what you wore last year.
Me: What if I run into someone from last year?
Him: (exasperated) Dude, it’s a totally different party, there’s no chance of you running into someone from last year.

I ran into two people from last year. How embarrassing.

Oh…like I really care.

 

Like last Sunday, I woke up just in time to meet the pretty green-eyed schoolteacher (GES) for brunch. We walked all over the UWS again, to the East Side, then back and finished up with some sodas in a Columbia cafe – five hours. We actually saw two weddings in Central park – one was of a Chinese couple and I said gong xi (congrats) to them. The bride smiled at me.

The weather was just as I like it: cold, clear and crisp.

Her: Man, we walked so much, I’m going to sleep so well tonight.
Me: Lucky you.
Her: (puzzled) You won’t?
Me: (shaking head) I never do.

Location: 20:15 yest, asking someone in church to pray for me
Mood: resigned
Music: Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that

Hug or Handshake?

On a first date, do you do the hug or handshake?

Me: Hi there. (pause) Ah, the awkward, Hug or handshake?
Her: (smiling) I’ll give you the hug.

Because of the craziness of various things in my personal/business life, I’ve not been dating at all. But, as I said yesterday, on Sunday I met up with a pretty green-eyed school teacher for a cup of coffee and we had the best time – the weather was killer and we just walked about the neighborhood. It was probably the most relaxed I’d been in while.

For a few hours at least, I forgot about my worries. I’m supposed to see her again this week.

It’s funny, even in my darkest hours, I can still find ways to distract myself with utter randomness. Case in point, I was queuing in the bank the other day:

Female Teller 1: (handing me receipt) Is there anything else?
Me: Yeah, (pointing to Female Teller 2) What’s her name?
Both: Lisa
Me: (turning to Female Teller 2) Hello, Lisa.

All three of us laughed and then I politely excused myself. The rest of the week sucked but I live for the weekend and these random bits of entertainment.

That and the blue sky, of course.

Location: 20:00 yest., on the 7 train, coming home
Mood: concerned
Music: rescue me lemme have a good time

Monday

Walked with a woman I met on the train

 

Last Friday, Cain and I went to my friend Gshok’s housewarming. I was feeling a bit down and didn’t want to go but I’m glad I did. It was nice to not think about my worries. The Laura was supposed to come but she got into a car accident on the way there (she’s ok).

We played a rousing game of Taboo; we were tied when Gshok and I did a sudden-death round and my team won. My prize was what you see above.

Saturday, Paul and I made the Lower East Side drinking circuit. Crashed a birthday party, ate some cake (we didn’t wanna but the birthday girl insisted), and hit about five joints before calling it a night.

At 2AM, I bumped into a girl on the street and offered to keep her company on the long walk home, She smiled and said, OK so we walked and chatted for a bit. After we got where we needed to be, she said, Thanks for keeping me safe.

How did you know I’d keep you safe? I asked.

I could tell, she said and then she gave me a hug goodbye but not before I snapped the pic below. Another good deed.

Sunday, woke up just in time for a date with a pretty green-eyed school teacher (GES) I had been orbiting, but more on that later. Went to church and tried to make sense of everything.

It’s Monday. I don’t like Mondays.

 

Location: 20:30 yest., reintroducing myself on Broadway
Mood: thoughtful
Music: mother feels so shocked Father’s world is rocked

Pamela Luss

Went to see my friend sing some jazz

Met a singer named Pamela Luss a while back and we kept in touch. I always missed her singing engagements so I told her that her next one, I would absolutely make it.

And tonight I did. She was great.

Bebe Neuwirth came to hear her sing for the first set, which I missed, of course, but it’s just as well.

On the way there, Cain and I managed to catch an old man as he slipped on some gravel so I felt I did my good deed of the day.

That’s why NYC’s so cool – you just never know how your night’s gonna end up. I’ve lived here my whole life and I’m still surprised by it all.
Location: 9PM yest., @ 38th & Mad
Mood: hopeful
Music: Maybe it was the music, or the glamorous sky of blue

I’m in

I need a weekend for my weekend

 

Him: All expenses paid. Interested?
Me: What am I an idiot? I’m in.

If I get it (or I don’t) I’ll tell you soon. Friday at the latest.

———-

Was out a lot this weekend. Hazel, Bryson, Gio and I went out till 4AM on Thursday night (when I met this girl) and then my brother was in town for the weekend.

I need a weekend for my weekend.

The Grey-Eyed Girl invited a bunch of us out to a party the other day. It was for an ivy league grad thingy and I assumed everyone there was from NYC.

So I end up spending some time with these two really nice girls. Here’s our conversation after we swap info.

Me: So if you’re 24, I’ve gotta think your friend’s like 18.
Girl1: She’s 28.
Me: (shocked) You’re kidding me.
Girl2: It’s the Asian genes.
Me: (nodding) Nice.
Girl2: So what are you? 24?
Me: (laughing) 34.
Girl2: (shocked) You’re kidding me.
Me: It’s the Asian genes.
Girl2: (nodding) Nice.
Me: So are you here for the birthday party?
Girl1: Oh no, we’re just in town from Boston for the weekend.
Me: (laughing) Of course you are.

Never a dull moment.

Location: underneath a ceiling fan in Queens
Mood: tired but hopeful
Music: been happy lately thinking about the good things to come
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Hit or miss

Met another woman and asked her to draw a picture for me

Her: Will you call her?
Me: Possibly. These thing are hit or miss.
Her: But you got her number, right?
Me: Better.
Her: Better?
Me: I told her to draw a picture of herself. This way, I’ll know which one she is.

Location: 2AM, Sway
Mood: Sotted
Music: That pretty red dress
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Why?

People are looking for relationships for different reasons. Here’s mine

People ask me all the time why I’m looking.

The pathetically honest answer is that when I’m with someone, I sleep just a little bit better. Maybe ten percent. It’s enough. I do it so I can sleep ten percent better. Crazy.

It’s not about sex. It’s about something else – and that’s a different post; but if you’ve read me enough, I’m sure you could guess.

You remember the last time you didn’t get a good night’s sleep? You look at your clock and do that mental math – if I fall asleep right now, I can get four hours sleep? Three hours. Two. Forty minutes. You remember how horrible you felt the next day?

Yeah, that’s me every two weeks for 20 years.

I’ve avoided talking about insomnia for almost two months but here we are.

Another date today. Another pretty face. Biker. It usually takes about three dates for either the girl or me to call it quits. Goes either way.

Hazel thinks I’m luckier than most cause I meet so many people but I tell her that it just means I’m disappointed and I disappoint more frequently. I know it’s crazy. I know it.

And yet I sit. I smile. I ask, So, what’s your story?

Inside I hope, this time’s the last time.

Location: 2PM yest, in front of the Flatiron saying, Bye
Mood: awake
Music: Tell me, where is the shepherd
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Girl with a pretty face vs. A pretty girl

A very strange night to add to my list of very strange nights

 

I crashed this party with some friends including an old friend, Buckley, whom I’ve known for 14 years. He’s a decent fellow. The problem’s that he’s 36 and he still thinks that drinking to excess is somehow cool.

I crash a lotta parties cause I get along with everyone. But Buckley was a slobbering, augmentative drunk. Before I knew it, he was being tossed out by this group of guys at the behest of the birthday girl. It was a whole production with me having to get between them all.

Ugh.

Eventually, we got him into a cab and I walked back with Hazel and Kane to apologize to the birthday girl. I should mention now that the birthday girl has a pretty face.

Here’s the thing. It’s NYC. You can’t go two feet without running into a girl with a pretty face. They’re like a dime-a-dozen. I’m pretty calloused to girls with pretty faces. But as I’m apologizing to her, she’s apologizing back to me. She said, I’m sorry I was being so douchey.

This whole time, everyone is staring at our exchange because I think they all expected some beef. Instead, she and I are smiling and laughing, like we’re old friends. She said I came off as good guy and I told her that I thought she was just really all that.

As we’re talking, she went from being a pretty face to a pretty girl. There’s a very big difference between the two. Like the difference between gold paint and gold.

She invited us to come back in but I told her that we came back purely to apologize. We chatted a bit more before I gave her a hug that she returned. If things were different, I might have given her my number. Then again, the poor girl’s been through enough.

It’s not all the time that people’s insides match their outsides. My ex said mine don’t.

It’s nice to meet someone whose stuff did.

Location: 7:15PM yest, saying hi at church
Mood: tired
Music: we throw parties, you throw knives
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